That's what friends are for
by Lengleu
Summary: Those 4 little words hurt Rose badly. After that she's changed, and her friends and family are worried about the person she's become. Meanwhile Dimitri is slowly recovering, but what will happen when Rose's friends talk to him about what's going on with Rose?
1. Prologue

_**Author's note:**_

 _ **This isn't a story where Dimitri tells Rose his love has faded and she disappears for years. While I do love those, I plan on doing something else.**_

 ** _Anyway, please bare with me :) This is my first try at writing a fanfic and while I know where I wanna go with this story, I'm probably gonna need a few chapters to set the story and get things going. Apart from this part, I intend to write most of it in DPOV. I still have some issues channeling my inner-Dimitri though so feel free to call me out on it if anything seems terribly OOC._**

 ** _And ofcourse, the original story and all the characters are owned by Richelle Mead, who has a much better imagination than I do._**

 **Prologue**

 ** _RPOV_**

 _I shot up, now as angry and frustrated as him. I had a feeling if I stayed, we'd both snap. In an undertone, I murmured, "This isn't over. I won't give up on you."_

 _"I've given up on you," he said back, voice also soft. "Love fades. Mine has_

I freeze and stare at Dimitri. After all the things that happened to me, to us, and after everything I've done, I never once considered that he really wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I'm not sure what showed on my face but for a split-second something seemed to change in Dimitri's features. Then his guardian mask slammed into place and I could tell he was done. We were done.

So I did as he taught me. I ran.

After running out of the church and across court grounds, I suddenly saw the familiar sight of the gym and the track. I wanted to keep running so I headed towards the track. I'm not sure how long I ran, with tears streaming down my face. All I knew was that I was broken, my heart shattered beyond repair.  
I paid no attention to what was going on around me. Somewhere along the way I think I stopped crying. And then I stopped feeling. I locked everything away, just focussing on staying on my feet and moving forward.

I would focus on the only thing left to me, what I prepared my whole life for. Being a guardian.

Before I did that though, I needed a few days to sort myself out. I stopped running, pulled out my cell and made a call. "I need your help old man".  
Within an hour, everything was arranged.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **DPOV**

Someone was knocking on my door. I shook my head, trying to wake up, and looked at my alarm clock. I was tired. Between the nightmares and the memories I hadn't slept well since I was restored. Yesterdays confrontation with Rose also kept replaying in my head and I had spent most of the night awake, only falling asleep about 2 hours ago.

Rose.. Why did she insist on making this hard on both of us? It's difficult being around her, knowing what I've done and that she just sees the old me, the man that no longer exists. I could see that I hurt her badly yesterday, and part of me wanted to take it back as soon as I uttered the words, but it's better this way. Surely she'll recover and move on with her life. She is one of the strongest people I know. She'll be a great guardian and eventually meet someone who loves her and maybe have a family. The way things should have been to begin with.  
None of that will happen for me now, but she could still have a normal life, and I can't be in it.

I'm not sure what I expected when I answered the door, maybe Princess Vasilisa coming to check on me. However, my own guards were down the hall, looking serious, and in front of me was Head Guardian Hans Croft. As soon as he saw me, he barked out "Belikov, have you seen miss Hathaway?"  
My mind was still a bit sluggish from lack of sleep. He was looking for Rose? And why wasn't he referring to her by her Guardian-title?  
"Not since church yesterday sir. I assume she's in her room or with her friends or boyfriend."  
Hans sighed "Nobody has seen her since yesterday. Do me a favour Belikov, if you see her or hear from her, please have your guards call me. There is a warrant out for her arrest and I'd prefer to bring her in myself."  
Wait, why would Rose be arrested? "On what grounds?"  
Hans really looked at me then and he seemed to have aged 10 years since I last saw him. "The Queen was murdered last night. Hathaway is our main suspect."  
Before my shocked brain could come up with a response, he nodded at me and walked away. I closed the door but stood frozen in place.

This wasn't possible. Rose has issues with selfcontrol, everyone knows that. But she has seen enough death, and consequently has too much respect for life, to ever murder someone in cold blood. And no matter how much she hated the Queen, she would never resort to killing to get rid of her.  
I had to go see the Princess. Maybe she can tell me more of what's going on. Because even though I can't love Rose anymore, I am very very worried about her. And Vasilisa will be upset of course. I should check if there's anything I can do to help her.

* * *

I was standing at the back of the courtroom, my back against the wall, with my guards next to me. The room was filled to capacity and I could only just make out Princess Vasilisa, sitting close to the front with Christian, Tasha and Mia. I expected Eddie Castile to be with them, but he's not here and that's odd. Since Spokane he and Rose are very close. Adrian doesn't seem to be around either. That guy is Rose's boyfriend for crying out loud, why isn't he here to show that he believes she's innocent? I haven't seen him in days, he's probably passed out drunk somewhere.

Nobody has seen Rose for the past 4 days. Even though she's not been found, the Council decided to proceed with a preliminary hearing. Apparently there is a lot of evidence linking Rose to the Queen's murder, and if she is caught they want to start the trial as soon as possible.

While I am completely sure Rose hasn't done this, I actually hope she will not be found. She was smart enough to disappear for 2 years at 15 with a defenseless Moroi in tow. Surely, at 18 and fully trained, she can disappear completely and build a new life for herself, safely away from Court and these charges. I'm not sure she stands a chance at a trial if there is so much evidence against her, and I would prefer never to see her again rather than see her found guilty of high-treason and sentenced to death.

At least that's what I tell myself. Because the thought of never seeing Roza again, never sparring with her, never hearing her laugh or make some sarcastic remark, never again seeing that spark in her eyes when she smiles at me.. That hurts almost as much as the idea of her dieing.

The room goes silent when the Council and the judge enter from a door on the other side of the room and take their places. The judge looks at Head Guardian Croft and the prosecutor, Iris Kane, who are at the front of the room. "Has the defendant been found and arrested yet?". Miss Kane answers "No your Honor" and Hans seems to be on the verge of answering when I suddenly see him react to something on his radio. Then he looks at the judge and says: "Actually your Honor, it seems miss Hathaway has just turned herself in. She is currently being escorted here."

Rose turned herself in? This can't be right. I'm in shock that she'd actually come back here, voluntarily apparently, but also a little relieved to know that she is safe and alive, at least for the moment. Before I can process the news any further there is a disturbance at the door and Rose walks in, flanked by Eddie Castile and Mikhail Tanner. She seems to sense my presence because she turns her head and meets my eye for just a second before turning to the front of the room and walking to her seat.

In that second I'm hit by a hurricane of emotions. I'm relieved she is okay, glad to see her and in awe at her beauty but I also fear for her future. Mostly though, I'm worried. Something isn't right about Rose, she is too calm. If I would have had to guess, I would have expected her to come in yelling that this is completely stupid, or to make some sarcastic remark about her being the main attraction for today's circus, but instead she doesn't say anything and just sits down.

I'm so focussed on Rose that I don't see the man following her until he stands next to her at the table and announces to the judge "I'm sorry we're late, however we had a long way to travel and this hearing was called on very short notice. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, after all surely nobody would want to keep Guardian Hathaway away from her own hearing." I stop breathing for a second and work hard to keep my guardian mask in place. Why on earth is Abe Mazur standing with Rose as if he's her lawyer, and did he really just imply that someone rushed this hearing to push for a trial without giving Rose a chance to defend herself?


	3. Chapter 2

_**Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you guys like it so far :)**_

 ** _There was a guest review that I can't find anymore, however I would like to answer it. The guest was worried this was going to be a Rose/Dimitri-friendship story and is not interested in reading that. While I'm not gonna give away the whole story, I can assure you I'm not interested in a friendship between Rose and Dimitri either. Rose has some fantastic friends though, and if she isn't okay I'm sure they would do their best to look out for her._**

 _ **Anyway, I was already halfway done with this chapter when I uploaded the previous one, so I decided to finish it. Not all my updates will be this quick, but I definitely intend to keep writing and not abandon this story halfway. As I said before, I do have a plan on where this is going. So please keep those reviews coming!**_

 _ **And of course, I don't own the character and original story, all credits to Richelle Mead.**_

 **Chapter 2**

 **DPOV**

"Mr Mazur, what are you doing here?"

Zmey smiles at the judge. "I'm Guardian Hathaway's lawyer. I must say it's lovely to see you again Paula, you look stunning as always." Is he serious? I'm fairly certain he isn't a lawyer, although you can never be too sure when it comes to Ibrahim Mazur. But how does Rose know him and why would she trust him to defend her? That man is dangerous and she'll owe him for life for this. And owing anything to Zmey is a very bad idea.

The judge sighs. "Please sit down next to your client Mr Mazur so we can get started, and in this court you will adress me by my proper title." Mazur inclines his head before sitting down and whispering something to Rose. She shakes her head but seems to make no further reply.

While the judge gives her opening speech I keep watching Rose and my worry increases. She's sitting completely still and hasn't even looked around for her friends. Guardian Tanner is sitting next to her and seems to be talking, but she doesn't respond to him either. I look at the Princess and she's staring at Rose, apparently she's also noticed something is wrong. Next to her I now see Adrian, who apparently managed to sneak in during Rose's entrance and the subsequent commotion. He looks tired but serious and seems to be sober. Oh well, that's something at least.

While my attention was on Vasilisa and Adrian, the judge finished her speech and Iris Kane stands up. She describes how the Queen was murdered, how and when she was found and she shows pictures of everything. Most guardians around the room don't respond, though the pictures are horrific. The Moroi however are very upset, gasping in shock and crying, both about seeing something so dramatic and the loss of the Queen.

After the detailed description of the murder, Rose is called up. She is still unnaturally calm. She walks up there and sits down without showing any attitude, and her face is completely blank. Kane wastes no time on starting with her questions.  
"Miss Hathaway, could you tell us where your stake is?" Again Rose's Guardian-title has been dropped. She hasn't been convicted of anything yet, shouldn't they at least adress her properly for the time-being?  
"My stake is in my room. I don't normally carry it with me when I'm at court."  
"Your room was searched the morning after the murder and no stake was found."  
"That's not possible, I have seen it there before I left Court to.."  
Miss Kane interrupts Rose. "We will get to your absence of court and the timing of it later. Currently we're talking about your stake. Are there any identifying features about your stake? Something that would mark it as yours, rather than the generic silver stake issued to guardians upon graduation?"  
Rose looks hesitant but answers the question. "Yes, there is a small pattern engraved near the top, a geometric design." The stake she used on the bridge in Russia. The stake I mailed her after she failed to kill me, to taunt her. I had no idea she still had it. The engraving is one-of-a-kind, there is no second stake out there that looks exactly the same. Why would she keep it?

Miss Kane walks up to her, holding a plastic bag with something in it.  
"Miss Hathaway, could you tell us what is in this bag?"  
Rose looks at it and stiffens slightly. Someone who doesn't know her well wouldn't have noticed, but it's there none the less.  
"It's a stake."  
"This is indeed a stake, the actual stake that was used to kill the queen. Is there anything noticeable it that you can see?"  
After looking it over again Rose answers: "There is a small design near the top." Surely it can't be her stake, it must be another one.  
Kane takes back the evidence bag and shows it to the judge and the council.  
"Is this the same design as is on your stake miss Hathaway?"  
Rose flashes a look at Zmey but her face still shows no emotion at all. "I suppose it looks similar, though I can't be sure it's exactly the same."  
"Of course you can't. But maybe you can explain why your fingerprints, and only your fingerprints, are all over it?" This is bad for Rose, very bad. No wonder Kane looked so confident about today's hearing.

Mazur seems to think this has gone on for long enough, because before Rose can answer the question, he speaks up. "Of course her prints will be on her own stake. And if someone stole it to frame her for this murder, it's not exactly surprising they wore gloves. It's a little difficult to pin this on Guardian Hathaway if the actual killer left his calling card behind isn't it?" Kane looks at him in distaste.  
"There is physical evidence to suggest the murder weapon is not only owned by Miss Hathaway but has also been handled by her, she was not seen by anyone around the time of the murder and she has very clearly stated in the past, in front of half the people at Court including the Council, that the Queen would regret the Guardian-age-law. Let's call a horse a horse and go with the simplest explanation of the evidence, rather than come up with complicated conspiracies."

Zmey actually smiles now. "Ah yes, let's get back to her whereabouts at the time of the murder shall we? At what time did the Queen's murder take place again?"  
"We have been able to pinpoint the time of the murder to between 7 and 8 on sunday evening. Miss Hathaway was not seen by anyone after 2 in the afternoon. According to a janitor she left her room around that time while carrying a bag and nobody saw her return. She was not in the presence of her friends after that time either."

Mazur walks up to Rose and grins at her. "Guardian Hathaway, were you at Court sunday afternoon?"  
"I was until around 2 o'clock, after that I left Court."  
"So nobody who was at Court at the time could have seen you here since you weren't actually here anymore?"  
"Yes." Where is he going with this? He has just confirmed that nobody here can give her an alibi. He's supposed to help her, not dig a deeper hole! Apparently Kane has realised the same thing because she's looking very pleased when she adresses the judge.  
"Your Honor, seeing as nobody can confirm where miss Hathaway was and her stake was used in the murder, I think we have sufficient evidence to move forward to a trial."  
"Excuse me your Honor, but I wasn't done talking to Guardian Hathaway yet."  
The judge looks between them for a second. "Please continue then Mr Mazur. However, I suggest you get to the point, because at this time I'm inclined to agree with Miss Kane"  
"Of course. Guardian Hathaway, is there anyone who wasn't at Court at the time who could confirm where you were?" I think back to how he phrased his question earlier and I can only hope he's right, that there is someone who can tell us where Rose was.  
"Yes. Lord Adrian Ivashkov left Court with me and can tell you where I was."  
Kane looks annoyed, clearly she hadn't expected this. She recovers quickly however.

"Your Honor, I would like to ask Lord Ivashkov some questions please."

The judge sends Rose back to her seat and Adrian takes her place. Kane wastes no time in walking up to him.  
"Lord Ivashkov, according to Miss Hathaway she was with you at the time of your great-aunt's murder?"  
"Yes we were together."  
"In more ways than one correct? Miss Hathaway is your girlfriend?"  
Adrian looks at Rose, he seems a little uncomfortable, but then focusses on the woman in front of him again. "Yes." It stings a little to hear him confirm this, but I push those feelings away. I can only hope he makes her happy and doesn't hurt her.  
"It must be upsetting to you that someone you have feelings for is accused of murder and high-treason."  
"It is."  
"And wouldn't you do anything to protect your girlfriend?" I didn't think of that. It doesn't look great that he's the only one who knows where Rose was. He is loyal enough, and loves Rose enough, to lie for her. All her friends would.

Mazur speaks up. "Your Honor, Lord Ivashkov has already confirmed, under oath, that he was with Guardian Hathaway. If Miss Kane thinks he just lied because of his feelings for Guardian Hathaway, I assume she will bring charges against him?"  
"Miss Kane, unless your questions actually have a point, please cease this line of questioning."  
"Of course your Honor." After that Kane sits down, but clearly she's pleased with the fact that she's cast some doubt on Adrian's words.

However, Mazur isn't done yet.  
"Lord Ivashkov, could Guardian Hathaway have sneaked away from you around the time of the Queen's murder?"  
"Nope."  
"And were you and Guardian Hathaway anywhere near Court at that time?"  
"No we weren't." Mazur is looking very pleased when he continues with his next question.  
"Since you weren't here, and you are sure Guardian Hathaway couldn't have gotten away from you unnoticed, could you tell us where you both were between 7 and 8 on Sunday evening?"

Adrian smiles widely. "Of course. At the time we were somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, on a flight to Istanbul."


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **DPOV**

After Adrian dropped the bomb about him and Rose not even being in the country when the Queen was murdered, whispers break out among the crowd and I feel a rush of relief. There is actually a good chance now that Rose will be okay, that her name will be cleared. That still leaves the question who did commit the murder and would want to frame her, but somehow that doesn't seem as pressing as long as Rose will be free to live her life.

The judge calls for silence and while Iris Kane is ruffling trough her papers, Mazur continues his conversation with Adrian.  
"Lord Ivashkov, just to be absolutely clear on this, you were on a plane at the time of the murder?"  
"Yes. I didn't hear about aunt Tatiana dying until after we landed."  
"Did you hire a private plane to take you to Istanbul?"  
"No we took a commercial flight. First class is surprisingly comfortable though." Adrian grins.  
Mazur chuckles. "So I've heard. So you'd say there are plenty of witnesses who can place you and Guardian Hathaway on this flight?"  
Adrian actually rolls his eyes at that. "Of course. A 747 tends to have a bit more than 2 passengers as far as I know." I hear some chuckles from the crowd and I see Christian smirking at Adrians comment. No surprise there, leave it to Christian to appreciate some sarcasm, no matter the circumstances.

Kane decides to interrupt at this point. She's not given up the fight completely, but to be honest she does look a little defeated. "Your honor, Lord Ivashkov has a sizeable trustfund. He could easily pay some people to say that they saw them. Not to mention, are we really going to rely on human testimonies in a case of this magnitude?"

Mazur gets back to his desk and picks up some papers. He hands one copy to Kane with a dangerous look, before handing another one to the judge and the rest of the stack to the Council. "Miss Kane, are you actually accusing Lord Ivashkov of bribing a bunch of people to get his girlfriend off the hook for killing his great-aunt, whom everyone knows he loved dearly?  
As you can see on this passenger manifest, there were 288 people aboard this flight, including Lord Ivashkov and Guardian Hathaway. On top of that, there were 17 crew members, not to mention the ground staff and other people at the airport who might have seen them. That's a lot of people.  
Also, due to terrorist attacks, there is a lot of security at commercial airports. I have had contact with the Alchemists and they have found security-footage of Lord Ivashkov and Guardian Hathaway going trough security and of them boarding the plane. There is also footage of them going trough security in Istanbul after their flight."

I think he shoots Kane another nasty glare before continuing, because she goes pale and sits down without any further comment. For the first time I'm actually glad that Roza has Zmey on her side for this. He might be dangerous and more than willing to call in any favour you owe him, but that's nothing compared to what he can be like when someone gets in his way.

"Your honor, ladies and gentleman of the Council. As miss Kane rightly said earlier, we should go with the simplest explanation of the evidence rather than complicated conspiracies." I actually see Kane sag in her chair at this point in Mazur's speech. If she wasn't trying to get Roza convicted of treason, I might have felt sorry for her.

"I think we can all agree that one person trying to frame Guardian Hathaway for this murder is a lot more likely than her and Lord Ivashkov bribing at least 300 people to give her an alibi. Not to mention them having to hack into federal security systems to put themselves on the passenger manifest and create and plant footage of them being present, as well as getting an Alchemist to back them up on that. I suggest you clear Guardian Hathaway of these charges so she can go back to her job. Meanwhile the guardians and prosecution should focus on finding the actual murderer."

The judge quietly confers with the Council for a few minutes after that, before Princess Szelsky gets up and speaks. "The Council agrees that there is more than enough evidence to clear Guardian Hathaway of these charges, and therefore there is no reason for the case against her to go to trial. She is free to go and may return to her lodgings and job."

Mazur thanks her before walking to Rose with a smile on his face. Eddie is already hugging her with a big smile on his face as well, while Tanner looks relieved. Adrian makes his way over to them and I can see Rose's mother, the Princess, Christian and Mia trying to get there as well. Tasha has stayed in her seat and looks a little shocked. I guess she is really surprised things turned out this well, and really, who isn't?  
I barely notice what's going on in the rest of the room, people talking and leaving. All I can focus on is the fact that Rose is free. She won't be tried for murder and treason, and she won't have to live the rest of her life in jail or be executed. She will be okay. Roza will be fine.

When the room is almost empty, I see Rose walking in in my direction with Adrian next to her, an arm over her shoulders. I expect her to be smiling and maybe look at me, but her face is still completely blank and Adrian is quietly talking to her. I shift a little and while Rose seems completely unaware that I'm still standing here, Adrian does meet my eye. I know we're not exactly friends, but I did not expect the hostile look he shoots at me before walking Rose out the door. Her friends rush after her, and behind them Janine Hathaway and Abe Mazur are slowly making their way outside as well. Guardian Hathaway nods at me before leaving, but Mazur stops for a bit and looks me up and down before smiling at me. This would have been reassuring in most people, but Zmey is not giving me a friendly smile. There is a very dangerous glint in his eyes and he is showing just a little bit too much of his fangs. Then he follows the others without saying a word.

Me and my guards are the last to leave the room. I'm quiet while walking back to the guardian dorms across Court. The guard who was standing next to me looks at me a few times and I think he also saw Mazur's evil smile and is wondering what it was about. Me and him both. The rest of my guard hasn't noticed anything amiss. They all seem happy that Rose has been cleared. Apparently a lot of the guardians here at Court have come to know and respect her, and none of them believed she was guilty to begin with.

While they are talking I replay in my mind what just happened in the Courtroom, with Adrian's glare and the way Mazur smiled at me.  
I'm not sure what he knows about me or what Rose might have told him, but for some reason I seem to have gotten on his bad side. Of course I have done plenty to hurt Rose when I was Strigoi, so it could be about anything that happened in Russia really.  
Somehow though I have the uncomfortable feeling this has little to do with my time as a Strigoi and everything to do with the uncharasteristic way Rose was acting today.


	5. Chapter 4

_**Thanks again for the reviews!**_

 _ **Dream**_ _ **Walkers Obsession I hope the spacing is better in this chapter. I've tried double spacing my paragraphs this time but I don't really see a big difference in the document manager, so I can only hope you do notice the difference while reading.**_

 _ **Anyway, this chapter is quite a bit longer. It wasn't easy to write, but I hope you guys enjoy it.  
And as usual, I only own the plot of this story. The character and the original story are all owned by Richelle Mead.**_

 **Chapter 4**

 **DPOV**

It's been 5 weeks since the hearing and for me nothing has really changed in that time. I still don't sleep well due to nightmares and most people at Court avoid me because they think I might suddenly go insane and drain their blood. The biggest change in my life is the fact that the new Queen has announced I really am dhampir again and I'm no longer followed by guards wherever I go. I actually miss their company at times. While it was a little annoying to have them around 24/7, they were very decent to me and were always up for a friendly chat to take my mind of things. Since most people are still scared of me and I tend to keep to myself anyway, I can go days without a real conversation now.

Most days I spend some time in church. Being there calms me down. People don't stare at me there, though to be honest I think most people just don't notice me sitting in the back pew where I'm mostly out of sight. It's a good place to think about the things I've done, the lives I've taken and how it affects me now. I still blame myself for all those who no longer have a future because they had the bad luck to run into me. The priest sometimes comes to talk to me and while I am starting to agree with him that I was not in control of myself during those months I was Strigoi, I do still think that it was always in my character to begin with. Just a part of me waiting to be unleashed until being turned took all the restraints away.

After church I always go to the gym. After thinking about what I've done I need to blow off some steam and the best way to do that is to take it out on a punching bag. I've found an old, small gym in a quiet area of Court which most people seem to have forgotten about so I rarely run into anyone. Occasionally one of my former guards finds me there and we spar, but those times are few and far between.

* * *

Ariana Szelsky was elected Queen a few weeks ago. From what I hear most people are quite happy about it. So far she tries to rule in a way that's fair to everyone, not just royals. The age-law has been rescinded, but the Queen and the Council are still discussing what measures should be taken to ensure the security of everyone, Moroi and dhampirs alike.  
The elections themselves went smoothly, except for some minor protests about Princess Vasilisa not being allowed to run for Queen due to the quorum-law. The princess was honored people wanted her to be Queen, but in the end supported Ariana Szelsky. Though Vasilisa says it didn't make much of a difference, I think it was a major factor in her victory. In return the Queen is now trying to change the quorum-law, stating that it's a waste for one of the royal families to be denied it's seat on the Council due to a technicality nobody foresaw when that law was written centuries ago.

I haven't seen the Princess as much since the hearing. She is still supporting my case to be reinstated as guardian and I'm very thankful for that. I don't think it'll actually happen, but the support means a lot to me. She checks up on me a few times a week to see how I'm doing and if I want to talk, but I don't see her every day like I used to just after I was restored. When she comes to visit or I see her around Court she is always friendly and polite though. I think she is busy preparing to go to LeHigh soon, and spending as much time as possible with Christian before term starts. On top of that the Queen has taken a personal interest in her and is trying to prepare her for when she is finally allowed to take her family seat.

Rose seems to have taken our last conversation to heart, because I haven't seen her again at all. She might be avoiding me, but like Vasilisa, I think she is just busy.  
Before I was released from the constant company of my guards, I heard them talking about her being put on filing and desk duty after her hearing. I once asked one of my guards why and he told me Guardian Croft is punishing her for something, but he wouldn't tell me what.  
I'm still a little annoyed at that. Rose was cleared of all charges and she is an excellent guardian. She should be assigned a charge or, if she has to stay at Court, they could at least let her guard the gates or check the wards. She is way too good at what she does to be stuck behind a desk. At some point I'm sure they'll realize this and give her a proper assignment. Maybe Hans is just waiting until things around the murder of Queen Tatiana and the elections have died down a little, not wanting to draw any more attention to Rose.

The only person I still see regularly, apart from the Princess, is Tasha. At first she dropped by nearly every day, trying to get me to go out for coffee or lunch or inviting me to go for a walk so we can talk. She tries her best to cheer me up and has told me several times that the past is in the past and I should enjoy my life now that it's been returned to me. She means well, but how can I just forget what I've done? The lives I've taken, the people I've hurt, the things I did to Roza.

Those are the memories that haunt me most. Rose weak and high on endorphins, the bruises and bitemarks, the pain I've caused her both physical and psychological, what she must have felt when I threatened her and her loved ones time and again. Of all the people I've hurt, she was by far the worst. I've taken her love and used it against her in every way imaginable. She's right to stay away from me. I know she said she still loved me, but I'm sure by now she has figured out that I'm not worthy of her love, or even her forgiveness.

Anyway, Tasha still tries to get me out and about but she doesn't come by as often as she did in the first weeks and she's not nearly as pushy anymore. I'm glad she's still my friend, but I think even she has decided I'm not the same person I used to be.

* * *

Most days I eat all meals at home, but this morning I decided I'd just stop by the café on my way to church. To be honest I could do with some stronger coffee than the stuff I've got at my own place. The nightmares were particularly bad last night. Normally I have different ones troughout the night, but for some reason last night I got stuck on kidnapping Rose and her time at the estate. I dreamed trough the whole thing 3 times before I gave up on sleep altogether.

After ordering a large coffee, an extra espresso to really wake up and a sandwich I sit down at a table in the corner and take out the book I always have in my pocket. Hopefully I won't be noticed here. I'm way too tired to deal with the scared and apprehensive looks I get on a daily basis.  
It's busy with people walking in and out of the café to get their morning coffee. When I've been there for a few minutes at most, I hear someone come in again and for some reason I decide to look up this time.  
That's when I get my first look at Rose in over a month.

She hasn't noticed me, and I'm thankful for that. It gives me some time to really take her in. She is beautiful as always. No matter how often I see her in my memories, both good and bad, it's nothing compared to seeing her in real life.  
Still, there are some changes since the last few times I saw her. She doesn't look around, paying no attention to what's going on or looking for friendly faces. When she orders her drink her voice must be really quiet because I can't hear it from where I'm sitting. While she waits for her order she stands completely still. There's no impatience or annoyance at having to wait, and there's no movement to her usually active body. She doesn't make smalltalk with anyone and doesn't flirt with the fairly goodlooking guy who hands her her drink.  
When she turns around and walks out of the café, I notice some other things. She looks tired and pale. Her eyes stare straight ahead, still not looking anywhere but where she is going. Clearly she is not planning to sit down and enjoy her breakfast, but instead she's heading straight outside again.  
Her breakfast itself is a surprise as well. Anyone who knows Rose knows she loves anything sugary and hates coffee. Which is why it's a complete surprise to see her holding a large coffee and a sandwich, much like I ordered myself, rather than the hot chocolate and at least two donuts I expected her to have.

I'm still staring at the door after Rose left, when I hear a small cough. Refocussing on my surroundings, I notice a small woman with auburn hair sitting in front of me. Her presence takes me completely by surprise. She must've sat down while I was looking at Rose, I didn't realize I was so out of it. I quickly nod at her.  
"Good morning Guardian Hathaway."  
"I ran into Rose just outside, and seeing as you were staring at the door, I assume you saw her as well?"  
"Yes she came in to get breakfast a few minutes ago. I don't think she noticed me though."  
Janine sighs at that. "Dimitri.. you don't mind if I call you by your first name do you?"  
"No that's fine"  
"Thanks. Anyway, Rose doesn't really seem to notice anyone at the moment. I'm not sure how she was acting in here, but based on her behaviour lately I can guess. She hasn't been socializing, she only talks when needed or when asked a direct question. I haven't seen her smile or laugh in a long time."

I've only ever known Janine Hathaway as a stoic, professional woman. Her guardian mask is better than mine even and I have rarely seen her display any emotion. Right now I can see the strain around her eyes and mouth though, and her forehead is creased in worry. She is obviously concerned about her daughter. That, combined with my own observation of Rose just now, makes me uneasy. I try to be reasonable though. Rose has plenty of reasons to act a little upset and out of character with all that's been going on.  
"Well, Rose has been trough a lot in the past year. Maybe she just needs some time to deal with it all. With everything that has happened since winter break, I doubt she's had time to come to terms with all of it."  
"Yes maybe you're right. It's just.. I've never seen her act like this. I know I haven't been around as much as I should have been, but even I know this isn't Rose."

We're both quiet for a while, deep in thought, before Janine breaks the silence.  
"After the rescue mission, when you were taken.. Rose was so distraught. She wanted to go back for you you know, to save you. In the end I had to slap her and drag her back to school with me. She never would've come with us otherwise and I couldn't lose her."  
It feels like something is stuck in my throat. I remember the cave, seeing Rose safe and then being attacked myself. I remember hoping the others would get her out of there.  
"You did what you had to do, what I would've wanted you to do. She would have died otherwise."  
"I know. I didn't expect her reaction though. I knew you two were close of course, but not until that moment did I realize there might be more to it than that. She didn't want to talk to me and I didn't push her, thinking it might be best to give her some time and ask her about it at a later date."  
She looks down at her coffee cup before continuing. "And then she disappeared. Alberta called me on her 18th birthday to tell me Rose had come to the office early in the morning and dropped out. Nobody seemed to know why she left or where she would go."

I never really thought about when Rose must have left school. It makes me sad to know that while she should've been celebrating, she was on her own instead. She walked away from everything and everyone she had known before to save my soul. Something else to add to the long list of things I can never make up to her.  
Before I can think of everything I have ruined for her though, Janine starts talking again.

"I asked all my contacts to look out for her, and after a while I got word she was in Russia. My contact kept an eye on Rose but she disappeared again and he didn't find out more until she called for help several weeks later. He hasn't told me exactly how he found her, but from what he did tell me she was injured and weak. Rose wouldn't tell him exactly what happened, but while she was unconcious he heard her talking about you. Apparently she said she was sorry, that she loved you and that she hoped you were at peace now.  
That's when I finally figured out she had gone there to set you free and that's the moment I knew for sure you were a lot more than just her mentor."  
I'm about to interrupt, though I don't really know what I can say, but Janine holds up her hand to stop me and keeps talking.  
"I'm not sure how far things went between the two of you, or what's happened since, but you are one of the few people Rose has opened up to in the past. I was wondering if maybe you could talk to her now? Figure out what's going on?" Bad idea. Really bad idea.

"Janine, I understand you're worried about your daughter, but talking to me won't help. You're correct I was more than a mentor to her, but that was before I was turned. Things have been difficult since I've been restored, and it's better for both of us if I stay away from Rose. Maybe Vasilisa or Eddie can get her to open up, they're her best friends."  
I see disappointment, and I think some anger, on Janine's face.  
"Did you decide that's best for both of you or is it was Rose wants as well? Because from what I've heard she definitely did want to talk to you when you were restored, but you refused to see her. And knowing my daughter, she found a way anyway."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised she knows about that. Janine Hathaway might not be the most involved parent but she does love Rose. And with her being the well-known and respected guardian that she is, it wouldn't have taken her long to find out what has been going on around Court. I sigh.  
"Rose wanted more from me than I could give her. I'm no longer the man she knew and she needed to let me go."  
Janine is clearly not pleased to hear me say that and stares me down. "What exactly did you say to Rose?"  
I might as well tell her. She won't rest until she knows, and maybe it will make her understand why I can't help Rose at the moment. I take a deep breath.  
"I told her I had given up on her, that feelings fade." My exact words were: Love fades, mine has, but I can't repeat those. Just thinking them and remembering the look on Rose's face when I said them makes me want to kick myself.

By the look on Janine's face she wants to do something a lot worse than just kick me. I remember the way Abe Mazur looked at me all those weeks ago, and I would take that any day over the murderous glare I'm getting right now. In a low voice she says:  
"You're telling me that after everything Rose has been trough, after her dropping out of school and travelling to the other side of the world to save you from the state you were in, you told her you gave up on her?"  
I don't answer her, I just look down. I suppose that is exactly what I did. I'm still convinced it's for the best, but hearing it summed up like that makes me feel ashamed of myself. When she decides she won't get an answer, Janine stands up.  
"You were right, you are not the man you used to be Belikov. I would have expected better from the guardian I knew and respected."

As I watch Janine Hathaway walk out the café I can't help but agree with her. If the old me was in her place, he would have expected better from me as well.  
I get up and throw the rest of my coffee and the second half of my sandwich in the trash. When I get outside, I decide to skip going to church and instead head straight to the gym. I need to kick something.


	6. Chapter 5

_**I'm so glad you guys liked Janine standing up for Rose! In the books we don't see much of her, and she definitely hasn't been around when she should have been, but I am convinced she loves Rose and would at some point try to step up.**_

 **Chapter** __ **5**

 **DPOV**

The past week has been bad. After my conversation with Janine Hathaway I let myself go in the gym and took all my pain and frustration out on the punching bag. I was so busy getting it all out that I forgot to wrap my hands. By the time I stopped the bag was on the floor with holes in it and my hands were pretty damaged. Vasilisa happened to visit the next day and healed them without asking questions, but I did see a look of pity on her face.

I've tried to take my mind of things but every second I'm not doing anything, I can still hear Janine's words running trough my head. In a way her words are just confirmation of how much I've ruined for Rose. She is definitely better off without me in her life. But at the same time, I want to go over to her room and talk to Roza. If Janine is worried enough to ask for my help, things must be pretty bad, and maybe I can still help her in some way.  
One time I was actually halfway there before I thought things trough and realized that after everything I said at church, I'm probably the last person Rose would want to see.

The nightmares aren't getting better either. I've actually taken to having a shot of vodka before bed in the hope of getting at least a few hours of undisturbed sleep. Every night a different part of the past few months seems to be on repeat. One night it was the run trough the maze and at the river, ghosts attacking me. The night after that I got to relive a seemingly endless replay of what happened on the bridge. The past few nights I've watched myself rewrite every 'love'-letter while plotting how to get to Rose once she would leave the academy.  
I suppose in the next few days I'll get a second look at Las Vegas, kidnapping the Princess and Christian and the fight that followed. As if I need another reminder of everything I've done.

At least nobody else has tried to talk to me. Vasilisa hasn't been back for another visit yet, and Tasha didn't come by to invite me anywhere either.

* * *

Sadly the silence couldn't last forever.

As I'm walking from church to the gym, someone falls into step beside me, while two others seem to follow us.  
"Ah Belikov, it's an excellent day for a walk don't you think?" I surpress a groan. It wouldn't do for Zmey to notice how uncomfortable his presence makes me. He looks friendly though as he adresses me, so I answer politely.  
"Hello mr Mazur. Yes the weather is nice today." Really, that's the best I can come up with?  
"Yes yes. Though I have to admit I'm surprised to see you here, alive and well."  
"How so sir? I thought you were aware I was restored, you saw me at the hearing after all."  
He smiles at that. "Yes I knew. I wasn't talking about that though. I ran into the lovely Guardian Hathaway last week, and knowing her, I'm simply astonished that you're here, seemingly unharmed. Then again, if she knew what you actually said to Rose that day at church, or how far things went between the two of you at the academy, I'm sure you wouldn't have been as lucky."

My blood runs cold at that. How on earth would he know what happened? Ibrahim Mazur might be some kind of mobster and know a lot of things he shouldn't, but the only way he could know about either of those things is if Rose told him. She wouldn't have, would she?  
He seems aware of what I'm thinking because he answers my unspoken question. "Rose and I had a very interesting conversation when she came to Istanbul. Sadly, before telling me anything, she made me promise not to inflict any physical harm on you. The little girl knows me well. As upset as she was, she wouldn't talk until I gave her my word." He sounds sincerely disappointed at that, though I could've sworn he looks proud.  
"You're not here to get me to talk to Rose as well are you? I don't think I can help her."  
"No. Actually, I'm here to make sure you stay as far away from Rose as possible. I can understand Janine's reasoning based on your past, but she didn't have all the information. As far as I'm concerned, you were right. It's better for Rose if you stay away from her." While those are my own words, it stings to hear him say it.  
Why would she have told him everything though? I doubt even Vasilisa knows.

I don't think this is the only thing Mazur came to tell me, but for the next few minutes he just walks next to me, seemingly relaxed. He doesn't continue until there are hardly any other people around us. Perhaps he doesn't want to be overheard.  
"Before you pushed Rose away, did she ever tell you how we met?"  
I recall her telling me, when I was Strigoi, that Mazur had been looking for her and wanted her to go home. That's all I know though. "Not really, I only know you were following her in Russia."  
"Hmm yes. Well, when she disappeared, I got a panicked call from Janine. I promised her I'd keep an eye out and if I found Rose, I would convince her to return home."  
He chuckles. "That was before I met Rose of course, or I would have known it's impossible to convince her to do anything. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by that, all things considered."

"Trough one of my sources I found out she was looking for Baia. I made sure she was escorted there, and ended up picking up her and her escort when they ran into trouble on the road. Rose was injured and I brought her to your family's house. Your grandmother decided they would take her in, even though they didn't know her." Knowing Yeva there is a good chance she saw Rose coming. I hope they made her feel welcome, that they liked her.  
"They also didn't know something had happened to you. Rose was the one to tell them about the attack and you being turned after the rescue mission."  
I sigh at that. With everything that happened, informing a guardian's family is usually pretty low priority. I wish Rose wouldn't have had to tell them though, it must have been very painful for her to relive it.

"I was at your memorial. I have to say, it was touching. All those stories about your childhood, I really feel like I got to know you."  
Mazur looks at me, but I keep walking. I'm not happy he knows so much about me, or that he spent time around my family and Roza. He's not telling me all this out of the goodness of his heart. He has some hidden agenda here, and I doubt his motives are friendly.  
My lack of response doesn't seem to bother him though, he just continues telling his story.  
"Since nobody had seen you in a long time, they asked Rose to tell them about your time in America. The way she talked about you, it was obvious she was in love with you. Your family must have thought it was mutual, because she was treated like she was your widow." That surprises me. I assume that means they approve of her, but then, why wouldn't they? Roza is an amazing woman. Strong, smart, passionate, not to mention beautiful. She is all a man could wish for.

"At some point that night, when she was alone, I introduced myself to Rose. We talked for a bit, traded some insults and were both a little dishonest with eachother. She lied about why she was there, I lied about the reason I was interested in her. I tried to get her to leave but she refused to be intimidated and stayed. If she hadn't gotten in a position where she needed to make a deal with me, I think she might have stayed indefinitely. Your family loved her."  
From the corner of my eye I see Mazur's shoulders drop a little at what he says next.  
"I thought Rose would go home when I got her to leave Baia, back to the academy and her friends."

She didn't. If only she had, it would have saved her so much heartbreak. I can't really regret that Roza went looking for me though. If she had gone home, I would still be Strigoi. I might still have been in Russia today, running errands for Galina. More people would be dieing because of me.

I can't really put my finger on it, but when Zmey continues talking, I actually hear some emotion in his voice. "It wasn't until a few weeks later that I found out Rose had never left Russia. She had gone to Novosibirsk with some of the unpromised. Rose still won't tell me what happened after that. I only know you found her, and somehow she escaped and thought she killed you in the process. She was pretty badly injured when she called my contact for help.  
Of course, I don't make the same mistake twice. I stayed with Rose until she was recovered, and then I escorted her to the airport."

I can only imagine what kind of shape she was in after her escape and our fight. It's good to know that someone was there to pick up the pieces, and to make sure she would return home. Even if that person was Ibrahim Mazur.  
It seems he has finished his story, because he doesn't say another word for the rest of the walk. We get to the gym a few minutes later and I'm very close to heaving a sigh of relief. When I turn to him to say goodbye though, he's looking me over, a calculated look in his eyes.

This time when he speaks, the veneer of friendliness is gone, and so are the emotions he showed earlier. He looks and sounds like the snake he was named for; cold, dangerous and about to strike.  
"You would do well to remember that I am a man of my word Belikov. The promise I made to Rose only applies to everything that's happened between you in the past. If you hurt her again, in any way imaginable, I promise you we will be continuing this conversation in less agreeable circumstances. I know enough about you to make your life very unpleasant."  
I feel a shiver run down my spine. I have no doubt whatsoever that he will make good on his threat. If Rose hadn't made him promise not to hurt me, I'm fairly sure I would have had a much more painful confrontation with this man weeks ago.  
I nod at him. "I won't forget sir."

You would think there is nothing left to say after that, but Mazur doesn't leave. It seems he is waiting for something.  
Finally my curiousity gets the best of me and I ask the question that has been on my mind since the hearing.  
"What is Rose to you? I've heard a lot of stories about you. You don't do anything without an ulterior motive. Yet you didn't just find her but also looked after her in Russia and you defended her at her hearing. And Rose rarely lets anyone into her life, but she trusted you enough to tell you things I'm sure she hasn't shared with anyone else."

I see a flash of satisfaction on his face before he answers.  
"Yes, I'm sure you would like to know. To be honest, I expected you'd have figured it out by now. According to Rose you are intelligent. Then again, she also believed you loved her, so I guess it's not unreasonable to think she was wrong about you a second time."  
"I did love Roza! I.." I stop myself because I don't know how to continue that sentence. I don't care what Mazur thinks of me, but Roza doesn't really think I never loved her does she? She can't believe that, it's not right.  
"You have a funny way of showing it. And also, you're wrong."  
"About?"  
"Rose didn't just tell me what happened, she shared it with someone else." I'm completely bewildered now, who would she tell?  
I guess it shows on my face because Zmey looks pleased. "Well, she didn't come to Istanbul alone, did she?"

I feel like someone punched me. She told Adrian?


	7. Chapter 6

_**Again, thank you all for the reviews! It's awesome to know people like my story. Also, I'm sorry for any bad spelling on previous chapters. I guess reading things over while keeping an eye on my baby doesn't really work. I'll go back next week and edit them.  
This time, baby was asleep so hopefully there are fewer mistakes.**_

 ** _I've got plans for the weekend so next update will probably be Monday or Tuesday._**

 _ **Disclaimer: I only own the plot, the awesome characters and original story are Richelle Mead's.**_

 **Chapter 6**

 **DPOV**

I've decided to get away from Court for a bit. It's not like I have much reason to stay at the moment. I'm not a guardian and I don't really have friends here. My routine of church, working out and reading doesn't work for me anymore, it gives me too much time to think.  
It might also make things easier for Rose if I'm not around. At the very least it should make Mazur happy, he did want me to keep my distance after all.

Mazur.. He has given me a lot to think about. First things first though, I have something to do. Until Mazur told me Rose was the one to tell my family I was turned, I hadn't thought about them. I've been so consumed with guilt that my family never even crossed my mind.  
However, if nobody notified them I was taken in the first place, I doubt they have been informed I was restored. At least I can be sure Rose won't have told them this time, and I don't think anyone else cares enough.

Even though I'm not a guardian anymore and thus don't have to report to anyone officially, I make my way over to Hans' office. I know the Princess is still working on getting me reinstated, and I don't want to ruin her efforts, so it would be a good idea to inform the Head Guardian of my absence.  
As I'm walking trough Headquarters I catch sight of Rose quietly working on a computer. It looks like she's not the only one being punished, because two desks away from her I can see Eddie Castile sorting trough a stack of papers. I wonder what he did to end up here.

As it turns out, Hans has no problem whatsoever with me leaving Court. He checks his records and confirms nobody has been in touch with my family, and agrees it would be better if they hear the whole story from me directly.  
When I leave his office, the rest of the building is quiet. It's break time and everyone has left their seats to get some coffee. Everyone except Rose that is. She's still sitting at her desk, head down and typing away. I remember Janine telling me she doesn't socialize and it looks like that's still the case. She hasn't seen or heard me, so I leave without saying anything, not wanting to disturb her.

When I get back to my room I book a flight for the next morning. Now that I know I'm going home, I just want to get there as soon as possible.  
Then I spend some time packing up. Of course I don't actually own much. My old possessions are still at the academy or might even have been discarded by now. I don't really care. The only things worth keeping were my books and CDs, and thankfully someone packed and stored them. I'm not sure who it was, but my money is on Alberta. At least she was the one who sent me the box as soon as I was assigned a room here.

* * *

By early evening I'm restless. I've been trying to work out what to do when I arrive at my family's house. They all think I'm Strigoi and while my mother and sisters aren't guardians, they have been trained. They wouldn't hesitate to attack me if they thought they had to protect the others. I haven't been able to come up with a plan though, so I'm going to have to take my chances. I just hope I don't have to knock one of them out to get them to listen to me.

I leave my room and wander around Court, hoping the fresh air might clear my head. Sadly that doesn't stop me fretting either and in the end I walk into a bar. If all else fails, there is always vodka. At the very least I can get drunk enough to stop thinking altogether.  
By the time I'm on my fourth drink, someone walks up to the bar and takes the seat next to me. I don't look up until I hear a familiar voice order a whisky.

He throws back his drink and holds up the glass for a refill. He looks like hell. He's either been overdoing it on Spirit-use or he's been drinking before he got here. His eyes are bleary, his hair is a mess and his clothes are wrinkled.  
"Hey Adrian." He just grunts in reply before throwing back his second drink.  
"Didn't expect to see you here cradle robber. Since when do you imbibe in public? Doesn't that ruin your amazing reputation?"  
I snort at that. "I'm pretty sure my reputation is a lost cause."  
"Yeah it probably is. Ah well, at least you're drinking alcohol nowadays rather than blood right?"  
I don't really have a reply to that so I just order another vodka.  
"So, what's the occasion? I've never seen you here before, so don't try and tell me you're a regular."  
"I guess that means you are?"  
Adrian rolls his eyes at me. "Well of course, don't tell me you've forgotten about my reputation. Nice job on avoiding the question though."  
"I didn't avoid it. I'm going home to see my family tomorrow. They don't know I'm damphir again, so I'm a little worried about my reception."  
This time Adrian snorts. "I wouldn't worry about it. If your ex-girlfriend is willing to throw herself at you and forgive you, I'm sure your family will be equally understanding."

Why would he talk about Roza like that? I can understand he was unhappy she still had feelings for me at first, but it's obvious there's nothing between us anymore. We haven't even talked in the past two months. And at the hearing Adrian confirmed they were together.  
"I'm sorry about that. I never meant to get in your way. I actually hope you and Rose will be happy together."  
"No need to apologize. I kinda knew she wasn't over you when we started dating. And we're not together anymore, didn't you hear the gossip? I swear, if one more person comes to ask me who broke up with whom, I might have to kill them."  
"Since I didn't hear the gossip, who did break it off?" I might as well ask. If he hurt Rose, he's in more danger from me than the other way around.  
He laughs at me. "I didn't think you had a death wish Belikov, but I'll let it pass this time. And to answer your question, Rose broke up with me."  
"Oh." I hadn't expected that. Maybe that's why Adrian looks so bad.

The bartender pours us both another drink before Adrian continues.  
"I'm okay with it actually. Rose would never feel as strongly about me as I did about her, so we were doomed to begin with. We're better of being friends. I shouldn't have made her promise to give me a shot to begin with."  
"You got her to date you because of a promise? How did that happen?"  
Adrien peers at his glass. "She needed someone to fund her extracurricular activities. Of course I didn't know I was paying for a Strigoi hunting trip at the time. I would never have enabled her to go on a suicide mission."  
So she got Adrian to pay for her trip to Russia, and in return offered to give him a chance. I wonder if she really thought about being with him, or would have promised him anything as long as he helped her out.

"I should probably get going."  
"Just one more drink? I want to tell you something."  
"Okay, but after that I've got to get some sleep, I don't want to miss my flight."  
After we get our drinks, Adrian waits for the bartender to walk over to another patron before getting to the point.

"Look, I know we're not friends, but I think someone needs to tell you this. You need to get your head out of your arse and start dealing with your problems Dimitri." Excuse me? Who the hell does he think he is? I jump up, but he puts his hand on my arm to stop me from walking out. He's looking surprisingly sober, considering the amount of drinks we've just had.  
"No, hold on. I'm not saying this to offend you or anything. I'm worried about Rose. You meant the world to her man, I've never seen anything like it. She literally went to the ends of the earth for you. I would have given anything for her to feel that way about me. Don't you think you owe it to her to at least try and work things out?"

I sit back down, feeling defeated. Roza would have been a lot better off if she had felt that way about Adrian instead of me.  
"Trust me, there is nothing to work out. You don't know what I've done to her."  
He looks a little uncomfortable and I think he mumbles something along the lines of: "Oh don't I?" I don't think I was meant to hear him. Before I can ask him what he meant, he's already talking again though.  
"All I'm saying is that you could maybe try to look at things from her point of view. Rather than wallowing in guilt, maybe you should ask yourself why Rose of all people doesn't seem to blame you for what happened. Or instead of asking yourself, you could ask her."

That's not going to happen of course. Mazur's threat is part of that. But if I really thought it'd help Roza, nothing, not even Zmey, could keep me away. However, I can't help her, except by staying out of her life.  
"I know you mean well Adrian, but no matter how you look at things, what I've done is unforgivable. Talking to Rose isn't going to change that, and it will only make it harder for both of us."  
He shrugs. "If you say so. Just think about what I said though. I really think it couldn't hurt to try to look at things from a different perspective."  
In my opinion murder and torture is still the same no matter the perspective, but I decide not to argue with Adrian. We got along surprisingly well tonight and I don't want to end it on a bad note.  
"Goodnight Adrian. And thanks for the company."  
He's trying to get the bartender's attention for another drink. "Yeah you too. Good luck with the nightmares."  
I don't really know what to say to that so I leave and walk back to my room. I have to admit, I'm a bit unsteady on my feet. Adrian really isn't such bad company, but he's pretty hard to keep up with when it comes to drinking.  
It's not until I'm back in my room that his last comment hits me. I never told him about my nightmares, did I?

* * *

When my alarm goes off next morning I have some trouble waking up. Definitely overdid it on the vodka last night. Luckily my bag is ready to go, so I only have to get dressed and I'll be on my way.  
As I leave my room to go to the airport, there is a large manila envelope on my doorstep. I have no idea what it is or how it got there, but it has my name on it. I'm in a bit of a hurry so I put it in my bag and take of for the airport. I don't want to miss my flight.  
I make it with five minutes to spare. I'm the last to board and as soon as I sit down, the doors close and we take off. My head is really killing me so I close my eyes and let sleep overtake me.

When I wake up a few hours later I feel a lot better. I ask one of the flight attendants for a coffee and reach for my bag. Rather than getting one of my westerns, I decide to pull out the manila envelope, curious to see what it is. When I open it I find a file folder, a notebook and a note inside. I go for the note first, hoping it will explain.

 _Belikov,_

 _I'm happy to hear you are staying away from Rose as I requested. I didn't expect you to take it this far, but I applaud your dedication._  
 _I think we might get along after all._  
 _As a small parting gift I've found you something to read on your long flight home. I hope you enjoy it._

 _Ibrahim Mazur_

It seems Zmey has been keeping an eye on me, I shouldn't be surprised. I'm a little apprehensive as I open the folder. I wouldn't put it past him to send me information on the most effective medieval torture methods or something. Or perhaps it's a map of the best places near Court to hide a body.

Luckily for me, it's neither. The folder is filled with alchemist reports. I read the first few and see they're about Strigoi bodies found on the streets of Saint Petersburg earlier this year. Some of the later ones are about Strigoi kills reported to the Alchemists for clean-up in Novosibirsk, a month or so later. I decide to examine them in more detail later but to first check out the notebook.  
I flip it open somewhere in the middle and start reading. It seems to be filled with someone's personal notes. Rose's name catches my attention, she's mentioned several times. I turn back to the first page. It only has one sentence on it.

 _Property of Sydney Sage_

* * *

 ** _Author's note:_**

 _ **So, this isn't really what I had in mind for Dimitri's confrontation with Adrian at first. I just couldn't get Adrian to be angry for some reason. As soon as I let go of that idea, the conversation practically wrote itself. Let me know if you think it works or if you would've prefered Adrian to be really pissed.**_


	8. Chapter 7

_**I'm so glad you guys liked Adrian and Dimitri being drinking buddies for the night!  
This chapter was a little hard for me. I knew more or less what I wanted, but I had a very hard time finding the right words for the last part of the chapter, and I'm still not sure I succeeded 100%.**_

 _ **The amazing characters are of course owned by Richelle Mead, I own nothing but the plot of this story.**_

 **Chapter 7**

 **DPOV**

By the time the plane touches down, I have a fairly accurate picture of what Rose has been up to while in Russia, up to the point where I kidnapped her. There were six reports of Strigoi bodies left out in the open in Saint Petersburg. One report was longer than the others, because the corpse had been found by the human police. That apparently caused quite a bit of extra paperwork. The seventh report was about a case where the Alchemist was actually on scene when the kill happened. According to Sydney Sage's notes, she was the Alchemist in question, and Rose was the one who made the kill.

She had been looking for whoever was leaving the bodies out in the open when she saw Rose one night and followed her. Just as Sydney was confronting her in an alley, they were attacked. Roza took out the Strigoi and was going to leave him behind too, upsetting Sydney but also confirming she had found the culprit.  
Perhaps I should've told Rose about Alchemists before. We normally inform the novices on the day they graduate. It's a fairly foolproof way to make sure as few people as possible know about them. Rose had already made her first kills months before that though. I probably should have told her at that point, but she had so much to deal with already and she didn't really need to know yet. After all, I was around to take care of it right?

As I consider the reports, I realize there's actually a good chance Rose killed more than seven Strigoi. Some of the bodies could have been burned in the sun before someone found them, in which case the Alchemists wouldn't have any records on them. Of course, only the last kill was actually credited to Rose. There is no proof the others were hers, though Sydney is convinced they are. She was apparently shocked to find out a girl who didn't graduate could be so deadly. Reading that made me proud. I always knew my Roza would be one of the best.

I also found out what Mazur meant when he said they got into trouble on her way to Baia. Rose and Sydney were staying the night somewhere, not wanting to travel the dangerous road after dark. While there, Sydney woke up to find Rose missing from their room. She got outside just in time to see Rose collapse to the ground, two bodies lying next to her. That was the eighth report in the file folder. I'm impressed, taking out two Strigoi on your own is incredibly difficult. Roza might have been injured, but many guardians wouldn't have survived an encounter like that.  
Surprisingly, after Sydney called him, Mazur did travel at night, just to pick them up and take them to Baia. Even traveling with several guardians, it was quite a risk to take. Apparently Rose is important to him, and he's willing to go above and beyond to find her, look after her and protect her, whether it's from Strigoi or me.

Another dozen reports are about Novosibirsk. Someone would call the Alchemists and give them a location. Nobody would be there when the Alchemist stationed in Novosibirsk arrived, but there was always a corpse waiting to be dissolved. When reading some of the later entries in Sydney's notebook, I find out Rose was the one who made these calls. Sydney had told her not to leave any more bodies unattended, and for a change, Rose listened.  
These kills must all have been made by her and the group of unpromised she joined. Not all of them might be hers, but I'm convinced Rose is the main reason there were so many. Most unpromised are reckless and not particularely skilled. If Rose managed to get her group organized it would definitely account for their effectiveness.

The last report in the folder is about a dhampir who called for help. An Alchemist went to meet her and escorted her to a town house. The dhampir was pretty beat up, but there were people there to take care of her and the Alchemist left. I reread the date at the top of the report and the names mentioned in it.  
After the scene on the bridge, Rose must have been incredibly weak and upset. But even though she was in bad shape and the estate was in the middle of nowhere, she managed to find a ride back to the city and called for help. And once again, Ibrahim Mazur had been there to take care of her.  
I'm still not sure what Rose is to him, but I'm starting to be strangely thankful that Janine informed him Rose was missing. Without his help and resources there's no telling what would have happened to her.

After putting away the file folder I decide to read the last entries in the notebook as well. I've noticed a change in Sydney's attitude when it comes to Rose and having to escort her. At first she seemed annoyed and unhappy to be spending so much time in the company of a dhampir. In some of her later notes she actually seems to consider Rose, well, human.  
While the flight attendant tells us over the intercom we're going to land in the next few minutes, I get to the last page and find something I did not expect.

 _Hello Dimitri,_

 _Abe asked me to send him all information pertaining to Rose's time in Russia, and considering some of his remarks, I'm assuming you'll be the one reading this notebook. If not, my apologies to whoever is reading this and please ignore this entry completely._

 _You do not know me, but after spending time with Rose and your family I do feel like I know you a little. From what I heard at your memorial you're a good man, and Rose loves you more than anything. That might not mean much to any other Alchemist, but even though I still think you're all evil creatures of the night, I have come to consider Rose a friend._

 _I think Abe wanted these records to show you how far Rose was willing to go when she was in Russia. I'm not sure why he wants you to know, but Abe never does anything without a reason. I care about Rose, and if you get hurt it would hurt her as well, so please be careful. You've probably heard enough stories about Zmey, and while I can't confirm or deny any of them, I can assure you he's not a man you want to cross. And when it comes to Rose, he seems willing to do whatever is necessary._

 _Please tell Rose I said hi._

 _All the best,_

 _Sydney Sage_

To say I'm surprised is an understatement. Alchemists dislike us and only work with us to make sure we stay hidden from human society. Sydney has been taught since early childhood that we're evil and unnatural and to distrust us, yet somehow Rose has managed to convince her we're not actually all that bad. Or well, Rose isn't, and by extension apparently I can be trusted as well.

* * *

I arrive in the morning, giving me plenty of time to get to Baia before dark. I like being back in my homeland. The buildings, the colors, the smell, the language, everything I see and hear is familiar and makes me feel safer and more relaxed than I have in a long time. I can't help but wonder what Rose thought when she arrived in Russia. I wish I could have been here with her and taken her sightseeing. It would've been great to show her everything and make her see Siberia is not the arctic wasteland she always imagined.

I rent a car at the airport, make sure I have enough gas and something to eat and drink, and set out. The closer I get to home, the more worried I become. Will my mother, grandmother and sisters believe me? Will they welcome me back or will they chase me off or even try to kill me, thinking I'm still Strigoi. Did babushka see me coming? What did they think about Roza?  
Time passes slowly with all of these questions running through my head, but finally I arrive at a familiar house and park the car. Thankfully I made good time and the sun is still out when I get there. Maybe this will help convince everyone I really am back to my old self.

After taking a deep breath, I get out of the car and head to the front door. Before I make it halfway up the path, the door opens and a young woman walks out. She doesn't see me at first, because she's still talking to someone inside. I hear her say something about going to the market and I recognize Sonya's voice. Whoever she's talking to must have followed her to the doorway and notices me. I hear a gasp, and Sonya whirls around. As soon as my sister recognizes me, her face goes pale in shock, but she immediately gets into a defensive position.  
"Get away from us. If you come any closer I'll attack."

I back up a few paces, trying to show I'm not a threat.  
"Sonya, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you or the others."  
She keeps her eyes on me but speaks to the person in the doorway.  
"Mama, get Karolina. And make sure the children stay with babushka, I don't want them outside."  
So it was my mother in the doorway. She must've listened to Sonya because she disappears into the house. Sonya and I are still facing eachother when she gets back a few minutes later and steps outside, Karolina following her.  
"Dimka.. This isn't possible."  
Karoline moves in front of my mother and stands next to Sonya, also on the defensive.  
"It's not him Mama, it can't be. Dimka is gone."  
"Mama, Karolina, it is me. Please let me explain. Look at me, I'm standing in the sun, I'm not what you think I am."  
I'm trying to appear as benign as possible, which is a bit of a challenge with my height and build. Hopefully, if I keep my distance and stay calm, they'll give me a chance to tell them everything that happened to me.

All three of them are staring at me. Mama is confused, but my sisters both look determined.  
"Please Mama, it's really me."  
I think she's going to speak, but Karolina beats her to it.  
"We were told you were taken, that you had been turned. Was Rose wrong?"  
"No, she told you the truth. Princess Vasilisa found a way to save me, she restored me."  
"That's impossible."  
"No it isn't. Nobody knew it was possible, but she found a way."  
All three of them look at me, my mother and Karolina unsure, Sonya clearly disbelieving.  
"There is no way to restore a Strigoi."  
"There is. I was Strigoi before the Princess used Spirit to restore me." I look down. "I did horrible things, I killed people."  
Before I can continue, I hear movement. Looking away was a mistake, I look up only just in time to block Sonya's punch.  
"Sonya!"  
"Get away from here or I will kill you. My brother is gone. You're just a monster who looks like him."  
This time she tries to kick me but I dodge it.  
"I'm not Strigoi anymore, look at me! Look at my eyes and my skin. I'm standing here in the sunlight. And I don't have fangs."  
She takes a few steps sideways before moving in on me again.  
"Stop attacking me Sonya, I do not want to hurt you."

I am so focussed on Sonya that I've made another mistake. I stopped paying attention to my surroundings. I never noticed Karolina sneak away until she lands a kick on the back of my knees, making them buckle and knocking me to the ground. Sonya is on me in less than a second, punching me in the stomach, while Karolina tries to grab my arms to pin them.  
There's no way around it, I'm going to have to defend myself. I'm about to twist out of Karolina's grip when a voice sounds from the doorway.  
"Enough Sonya, Karo."

My sisters stop attacking me and get up, but they still seem wary of me. I don't blame them. What I'm telling them goes against everything we've ever learned.  
My grandmother has no such qualms though and when I stand up she quickly walks up to me.  
"You took your time in coming home. What were you waiting for boy?"  
I kiss her cheek and then wrap her carefully in my arms.  
"Babushka. How long have you been watching?"  
"A while."  
"You couldn't have kept Sonya and Karo from attacking me?"  
She smiles. "I could have, but you deserved it."  
I don't argue with her. There is usually no point to it anyway.

As soon as I let go of Yeva, my mother runs up to me and embraces me.  
"Dimka!"  
"Mama, I'm so glad to see you!"  
She keeps repeating "It's really you" as she holds me and before I know it, I'm crying. Soon I feel more arms wrap around us and when I look up I see Sonya and Karo have joined us. I'm finally home, with my family, and for the first time in months I feel almost whole again.

* * *

We all go inside and my mother heads straight to the kitchen to make me some food. I don't complain, I've been traveling for a long time and I've missed my mother's cooking. American food is acceptable but it's not nearly as good as the homemade meals I was used to.  
I can hear a voice coming from the living room and then a baby giggling. Karolina explains she told the children to stay there while she went outside. She goes to check on them before joining Sonya, Mama, babushka and me in the kitchen.

I have just finished the plate of blini my mother made me when Viktoria walks in. My little sister has grown up a lot since I've last seen her. She's tall and just as beautiful as the others, though her hair is a few shades lighter. She reminds me of how Rose used to be, so full of life. Apparently Karolina called her and told her I was here, safe and sound, because she wastes no time in throwing her arms around me.  
"Dimka! I'm so happy you're home! And alive!"  
I smile as I hug her. "I'm glad to see you too."  
"You have to explain everything! When Rose came here she told us you were Strigoi, but obviously that must have been a mistake."  
I'm sure the others are curious about my story as well. I told them outside Rose had told them the truth, and now that Viktoria is here as well I will tell all of them what happened. Before I can get started though Viktoria looks around.  
"Where is Rose anyway?" I was hoping nobody would ask me about her yet. By all accounts my family liked Rose and took her in like she was one of their own. At the moment they're ecstatic about my return, but I can already imagine the looks of disappointment if I tell them what I did to her. I decide to keep my answer short and pray they'll let it go for now.  
"She's not here."  
"She didn't come with you?"  
"No, Rose is at Court. Why?"  
"I said some stuff to her just before she left. Since she isn't here.. Well never mind, it's nothing important."

I wonder what Viktoria is talking about. I expected her to get along with Rose actually. Their personalities are fairly similar so I thought they might become friends.  
"Vika, what did you say to Rose?"  
She straightens up. "I told her she couldn't have really loved you, that she didn't understand love. And clearly I was right, or she would have been here with you."  
At first I think I didn't hear her correctly. But my mother must've heard the same thing, because she's upset.  
"Vika! Is that why Rose left?" I have to work incredibly hard to keep from lashing out at my sister, but I bite my tongue and wait for her to answer.  
"I don't know and I don't really care. She didn't belong here Mama. I bet she was just using Dimitri as an excuse to get away from school or something."

I felt my temper rising with every word Viktoria said, but up until that statement I was in control. Hearing her dismiss everything Roza did for me as some silly excuse to leave school makes me lose it though. My voice is low and dangerous and I watch my sister shrink back a little as I adress her.  
"Shut up Vika. You do not talk about Roza like that. You have no clue what she did to get here, how much she's done for me or what she's been through.  
Roza came to Russia to look for me. I once told her I would rather be dead than Strigoi, and she came here to fulfill the promise she felt she made. On her eighteenth birthday she dropped out of school, abandoned her friends and gave up on her chances of becoming a guardian, because she knew I didn't want to exist like that. Could you have done that Viktoria? You're nearly the same age, would you have been willing to do that for anyone?"

Viktoria looks pale. I think she's on the verge of answering my question, but I haven't finished and I quickly continue talking. I didn't make a conscious decision to tell my family everything. I haven't talked about what I did to Roza to anyone, but it's suddenly very important to me that they know what she went through.

"Roza has been through hell and back for me. She nearly died on a number of occassions because of me. I don't even know how many Strigoi she killed exactly to find me, but I can tell you it's a very high number. After Viktoria apparently insulted her and pushed her away, Roza left with a group of unpromised and kept looking for me. When I heard about it, I found and kidnapped her. I held her captive, I hurt her and I fed from her. I wanted to turn Roza."  
My family looks horrified now, but I don't stop. Viktoria was very wrong to imply Roza doesn't love me, and I'll make sure she knows it.  
"Even weak and high she figured out a way to escape from me, into a house full of Strigoi. She somehow got hold of a stake and killed the leader before running. It was the middle of the night so I chased after her. In the end, Roza managed to stake me, as she knew I would have wanted, no matter how much it hurt her to do it. The only reason it didn't kill me is because it dislodged as I fell."

I push back from the table and stand up. My chair falls backwards as I put my hands on the table and tower over Viktoria.  
"Don't say another word about my Roza. She loved me enough to sacrifice everything for me."

I storm out of the house, not knowing or caring where I'm going. I just need to be alone and get away from my sister before my temper gets the better of me.  
I walk around for a long time before my anger dissipates and I regain control of myself. It's not until I calm down and think about everything I just said that the truth really sinks in. Roza went through all that for me.  
Somewhere deep down I always knew she went through a lot, but I was so focussed on my own feelings and problems that I never fully realized how many bad things happened to her. I never asked her, or gave her the chance to tell me. If others hadn't taken it upon themselves to inform me, I still wouldn't know most of the details.

The realization knocks the breath out of me a lot more effectively than Sonya's punches did earlier. Roza loved me. And rather than thank her for everything she did, or showing her how much she meant to me, I threw it all back in her face and told her my love had faded.

I'm officially the world's biggest idiot.


	9. Chapter 8

_**Sorry it took a little longer to get this chapter up. I wanted to post it yesterday but the weather was amazing so rather than spending time at the computer I was busy enjoying the sun. It won't last, so I should have plenty of time to write again next week. Next chapter will be up Tuesday I think.**_

 _ **Viktoria might have been a little bit OOC last chapter, but I felt something needed to trigger Dimitri's protective instincts. I also think Vika knew her mother and brother would push her into telling the truth, and she's stubborn enough to justify herself by making it sound like she still believed those words, even if she already knew they were wrong.**_

 _ **Anyway, enjoy this chapter and the weekend :) Plot is mine, the rest is owned my Richelle Mead of course.**_

 **Chapter 8**

 **DPOV**

I didn't go back inside until I was completely sure everyone would be in bed. I didn't know what they'd think of me after everything I told them, but it's probably no worse than what I think of myself.  
At first I couldn't sleep, and when I finally did drift off, I had another nightmare. It was nothing like my usual nightmares though. I'm not sure if it had anything to do with my revelations earlier or if there's something else affecting my dreams, but it was definitely different. Rather than me being Strigoi and doing aweful things to Roza, this time it was the other way around. Me going to save her, me being captured, Roza being pale and cold with red rings around her eyes. And finally, at the end of the dream, me staking her.  
I woke up gasping for breath. I wish I could go back to my old dreams, at least they were familiar. Now I see things and places where I've never been before. I do understand what Adrian meant with looking at things from a different perspective though. These nightmares give me a whole new appreciation of what Roza went through.

Over the next few days I get reacquainted with my family, play with my nieces and nephew, eat all of my favorite meals and try to help my mother while she tells me to sit down and relax. Nobody mentions the arguement with Viktoria, Roza or my restoration again. I think they're just not really interested in the latter though. As far as they are concerned it's a miracle. I'm alive and that's what's important. It doesn't matter how it came about.  
Only two people in the house keep their distance from me. Yeva is quiet, sitting in her chair and watching me and the others. Occasionally I see her fix a disapproving glare on me, but she never says a word. Babushka has her own agenda, she will tell me when she thinks it's time for me to hear.  
Viktoria does talk to me, but things are a little strained between us. I think she's ashamed of herself, but I'm not ready to let her off the hook for insulting Roza yet.

* * *

One evening my family threw a party to celebrate my return. Almost the whole community showed up, bringing food and exclaiming how happy they are I am okay. I haven't seen most of these people since before I graduated. When I was guarding Ivan my trips home were short, just spending some time with the family before returning to my charge. After I was assigned to St. Vladimirs I never found the time to come here at all.  
Luckily nobody is all that interested in how I came to be here. They congratulate my mother, and I hear several of them talking about miracles. A few people ask me about Rose, remembering her from the memorial, but after some vague assurances that she's okay and is working at Court they leave me be.  
Only two things that happen at the party really stay with me.

The first thing was when I saw Viktoria talking to a boy. I didn't know him but he looked nice enough. It wasn't this boy that caught my attention though. Next to him is another boy, a little older, who does look familiar. I rack my brain trying to remember where I've seen him before. Finally I recall seeing him with Roza, just before I kidnapped her. I was standing in the shadows of a building, watching her make her way down the street with a boy and a girl. They never saw me because they went inside while Roza went to help the crazy old lady, giving me the perfect opportunity to take her.

The boy must've felt my gaze because he looks at me before making his way across the room and leaning against the wall next to me. He doesn't speak at first and he seems a little uncomfortable being near me. I don't push him and finally he introduces himself.  
"Dimitri right? I'm Denis."  
"It's nice to meet you. I guess that's your brother talking to Viktoria?"  
"Yeah that's Nikolai. I think he likes her but he's too scared to make a move."  
I laugh at that. "It's not easy to ask a girl out, I'm sure he'll pluck up the courage eventually."  
He laughs with me but seems surprised.  
"Aren't you bothered by the idea of your sister dating? I heard you can be quite protective."  
"I am, but Karolina and Sonya convinced me years ago that I have no business getting involved in their lives like that. They also showed me they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves."

I remember that conversation vividly. I was twelve and I didn't like the guy Karo was going out with. One night I saw them outside and he was pushing her for a kiss she didn't want to give him. I thought I would step in and help out, but in the end Karo punched the guy, and after chasing him off, she kicked my ass for treating her like a damsel in distress. Then she got Sonya and the both of them gave me a lecture I wouldn't easily forget. I made a promise never to step in again unless they or Viktoria specifically asked me to, and I kept it.

Denis is quiet while I reminisce. He relaxes a little though, probably happy I'm not about to kick his brother out of the house for talking to Vika. After a while he starts shifting uncomfortably before getting to the point.  
"Uhm.. I meant to ask you.. Is Rose okay? She was with us in Novosibirsk and just disappeared one day."  
"Yes Rose is at court, she's working as a guardian there."  
He looks relieved. "Good, we were all very worried. She was always telling us not to go out alone and to be careful, and then the one time we leave her alone she doesn't return. Do you know what happened to her?"  
I debate on what to tell him. I don't want to tell the whole story, but since he was part of her group he deserves an honest answer.  
"Rose was taken by a Strigoi. He held her for a while, but before she could be turned she escaped. After she recovered she went back to America and the academy to graduate."  
"Good, the others will be happy to hear it too."  
"Are you guys still hunting without her?"  
"No we stopped actually. Tamara got scared when Rose vanished. Lev, Arthur and I tried to continue but it didn't take us long to figure out we weren't nearly as strong with just three of us. We had a few close calls so we quit. I'm actually about to return to St. Basil's with my brother. I'm hoping to graduate after all."  
"That's great, I hope you succeed"

I think Roza will be happy to know all of them are apparently still alive, and she'd be especially thrilled to know Denis is returning to school. She made a huge difference in their lives. If she hadn't joined them, there is a good chance some, or all, of them might be dead by now. It's humbling to see how much influence Rose has on the people around her, even if she doesn't realize it herself.  
Denis pushes away from the wall. "Well, it was nice talking to you. Congrats on your restoration, I'm sure Rose was ecstatic. Will you tell her about me going back to school when you see her?"  
No need to tell Denis we aren't on speaking terms at the moment. I'll find a way to let her know.  
"Yes I will, I'm sure she'll want to know."  
"Thanks. See you around."  
I don't see him again after that, but his brother sticks to Viktoria's side troughout the evening.

* * *

The second thing to catch my attention was a conversation with a couple I do know. I hadn't seen them in a long time so it took me a little while to remember their names when they came up to me and the woman started to talk.  
"Hello Dimitri, it's nice to see you again."  
That's when I recall their names. They're a bit of an oddity in our world. Moroi and dhampirs don't normally marry so they tend to keep to themselves.  
"Oksana, Mark, good to see you too. Thanks for coming tonight."  
Oksana is studying me and there is this odd, fluttering feeling in my head. To my surprise, Mark's eyes are unfocused for a second before he smiles at me.  
"I couldn't have kept Oksana away if I wanted to. We were both very curious how this happened."  
Before I can answer, Oksana continues.  
"When I told Rose I thought it was a fairytale, or the ramblings of a man who wasn't in his right mind. Mark tried to stop me from telling her because of that. But clearly it was true, because here you are, and I can still see some of the remaining darkness in your aura. It's very interesting. I never thought it'd really be possible to restore Strigoi."

I'm flabbergasted. Oksana told Rose about restoring Strigoi? It takes a few seconds for her comment about my aura to register. I never knew Oksana is a spirit user. I feel the fluttering sensation again and Mark shoots a disapproving look at Oksana.  
"Yes my element is spirit. It's not widely known, as far as everyone else was concerned I just didn't specialize."  
It's like she read my mind. "How did you know that's what I was thinking?"  
She looks a little sheepish. "I could see a lot of confusion in your aura so I read a little deeper. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it."  
I nod at her, still trying to process what I just heard. Oksana is a spirit user and can read minds. And apparently, at some point, she told Roza about a way to restore Strigoi.

"Rose found out about the possiblity of restoration through you?" I thought somehow Vasilisa found a mention of it and figured it out.  
"I think so yes, didn't she tell you? As I said, I thought it was just a fairytale at the time. The only real clue I could give her was a name."  
"No we never talked about it. Princess Vasilisa and Adrian Ivashkov had been doing research about spirit so I assumed that's where they found the information."  
"Ah that is too bad, I was hoping you could tell me more."  
I never thought there would be much to tell. Vasilisa somehow restored me using spirit and as far as I was concerned, that was the whole story. When I get back to Court I'll have to ask her sometime. Meanwhile I will tell Oksana the only thing I do know.  
"I can tell you how I was restored. The Princess staked me with a stake that had been infused with spirit. I could feel the magic, it was.. I can't even begin to describe it."  
Oksana and Mark look at eachother.  
"I never thought of charming a stake but since they are made of silver, I could definitely see how that might work. You don't think a guardian could've used an infused stake?"  
"I have no idea to be honest. I assume there's a reason the Princess staked me herself though. It would have been much easier to let a guardian do it, she could have infused several stakes after she found out how to, with no risk to herself."  
"Yes I didn't consider that."

Oksana is introspective as she stands in front of me, but after a few minutes she starts studying me again. Mark is alternately watching Oksana and me, but he stays quiet. He hasn't spoken at all since greeting me, he seems content to just be next to Oksana and let her take the lead. He never seems surprised by what she's asking, or bothered by her silences. I'm a little puzzled, until I remember something babuska once told me. Mark and Oksana have a bond. He's shadowkissed like Rose.  
Oksana either sees understanding on my face or she senses it by spirit, but she smiles at me.  
"We should go home. Thank you for telling us so much Dimitri, I'm glad to know Rose succeeded where many others would have given up."  
Mark speaks up as well, giving me some advice. "Make sure you keep an eye on Rose. There was a lot of darkness around her when she was here. I hope it's better now you're restored and she's back with her bondmate, but it's not an easy thing to be shadowkissed. She needs someone strong and reliable to be there for her if the darkness takes over."  
Mark nods at me before taking Oksana's hand and heading outside. Soon after they leave I sneak upstairs to my room. I doubt anyone will notice I'm gone at this point and I want to be alone. Mark and Oksana have given me a lot to think about.

* * *

When I wake up next morning the house is still quiet. Everyone is probably sleeping late after yesterday's party. When I make my way to the kitchen though, my mother is already there. As soon as I sit down she puts a cup of coffee in front of me and continues cooking.  
"Morning Dimka, did you sleep well?"  
I mumble something unintelligible because I don't want her to know about my nightmares.  
She leaves me be and I enjoy the companiable silence.

It's not until she pours me another cup of coffee before she turns off the stove, gets herself a cup and sits across the table from me.  
"Dimka, what happened between you and Rose?"  
"You heard what happened Mama. There is nothing else to say." I made an effort never to mention Rose if I could avoid it, hoping to evade a conversation like this.  
"That's not what I meant and I think you know that. I do not believe she would just stay away from you, or from us, after everything she went through."  
"Why not? Wouldn't you stay away from someone who did those things to you?"  
"Dimka.."  
I sigh. "I really don't want to talk about this Mama."  
"I figured as much when you didn't bring her up over the past few days, and with the way you flinch whenever someone says Rose's name. I could see you were upset so I gave you some space, but I don't think letting you stew is doing you any good. What happened Dimka?"

I can tell there's no use in avoiding the subject so I reluctantly answer her question.  
"After I was restored I was very overwhelmed. I could feel so many things again, emotions, pain. It was like I was rediscovering everything. And I could remember the things I had done over the months I was that monster. I was horrified Mama, I have done so much damage. People will never return to their homes and their families because of me.  
I felt... damaged is probably the best word to describe it. I was myself and yet nothing like who I used to be. I was so focussed on the guilt I felt for everything I had done, and gratitude to Vasilisa for restoring me, I shut out everything else."

As I continue I fix my eyes on the cup in front of me, not wanting to see my mother's disappointment at what I'm about to tell her.  
"Roza wouldn't let go. She tried to see me even though I told my guards and Vasilisa I didn't want to see her. I was no longer the man she knew, that she fell in love with, and at the time I thought that man was gone forever. I also thought being around her would just be a constant reminder to both of us of everything I had done.  
But Rose kept trying. No matter how hard I pushed her away, she would always find another chance to see me or talk to me. She wasn't going to give up on me, no matter what happened or how damaged I was. One day I figured out a way for her to leave me alone, and I acted on it without thinking about the consequences. I told Rose I had given up on her and that my love had faded."  
I feel like such a coward now, but at the time I really thought it was best for both of us. I doubt my mother will see it that way though. She raised me better than this.

I'm surprised when my mother talks in a soft voice. "Oh Dimka."  
She doesn't sound disappointed or angry. I hear compassion in her voice and when I pluck up the courage to look at her she has a sad smile on her face.  
"I didn't know what else to do Mama. At the time I didn't even know most of what she went through. In the past few weeks I've heard from other people to what lengths Roza went for me and it's astonishing. She has suffered so much, and it's all because of me. What I did to her was unforgivable. I still think she's better off without me in her life, but I shouldn't have gone about it the way I did."

My mother thinks for a while before asking me a question.  
"If Rose had been turned, wouldn't you have done everything in your power to save her?"  
"Of course I would."  
"And if she had hurt you while Strigoi, would you have blamed her for it? Knowing who she was before she was turned, and how much she loved you?"  
Again I answer without hesitation.  
"No, it wouldn't really be my Roza."  
"Then why do you blame yourself for what happened? And why can't you accept that Rose doesn't blame you?"  
"Because of what I wanted to do to her Mama! If Rose hadn't been ingenious enough to figure out a way to escape, I would have turned the woman I love into a Strigoi! I.."  
I choke up. Just imagining Roza like that, cold and evil, it's so much like the nightmare I had earlier this week. I can't bear thinking about a world in which my Roza is no longer alive.

My mother gives me a few moments to regain my composure before she smiles at me.  
"Did you hear what you just said? The woman you love. Love, not loved Dimka. You are capable of feeling so much more than just guilt and gratitude, if only you would give yourself the chance. If you give Rose a chance."  
And I realize I do love Roza, I love her more than anything. Knowing it makes everything so much worse thought. I sigh in defeat. "I don't think there is another chance for me and Roza. She has changed Mama. From what her mother told me she has closed herself off from everyone around her. And Abe Mazur told me to stay away from her, threatened me actually. I no longer have a place in Roza's life."  
"I'm not surprised to hear about Abe. He's not above threatening anyone, least of all someone who upset his daughter."  
My mind goes blank and my mouth falls open. It takes me at least ten seconds before my brain starts working again.  
"Rose is his daughter?!"  
"Isnt she? Rose never told me, but they look so much alike and Abe went to so much trouble for her. It was the only explanation that seemed to fit."  
Recalling both their faces, I realize my mother is correct. The eyes, the hair color, her skintone. The nazar her mother gave her from her Turkish father. Her passionate personality, sarcastic sense of humour, willingness to bend the rules for the people she cares about, it all clicks. How did I never realize it? I groan.  
"Oh god, I really am lucky Roza made him promise not to kill me."  
My mother outright laughs at that. "Did she? Smart girl."

Neither of us talk after that, until my mother gets up to continue cooking.  
"You never know if there's another chance until you try Dimka. I don't think Rose would just throw away her love for you because of something you did or said. The fact that she changed so much just proves how much it affected her. She never gave up fighting for you. Maybe it's your turn to fight for her now."  
I consider her words. Since I've been restored I've tried to protect Rose by staying away from her, and by pushing her away forcefully because I thought it would be best. But what if I was wrong? And even if I wasn't wrong at the time, it doesn't mean I can't fight for her now I know how I feel.  
"What should I do Mama?"

The answer doesn't come from my mother. An old voice speaks from behind me as I get slapped on the back of my head.  
"You get on the first flight back boy. You will have to prove you are worthy of Roza. It will be incredibly difficult, and people who care about her will stand in your way. If you can convince them of your love and suitability though, you might find them to be powerful allies."

I do the only thing I can think of. I hug Yeva.  
"Thank you babushka." She said it would be difficult, not that it was impossible. Yeva gave me hope.


	10. Chapter 9

_**I'm sorry for the late update! I've been sick for the past week so I wasn't able to finish it in time. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter though! Next update will hopefully be on Tuesday again.**_

 **Chapter 9**

 **DPOV**

There was a seat available on a flight early the next morning. Since I didn't want to travel at night, I decided to leave in the afternoon and try and get some sleep at the airport. Sonya and Karo had already said their goodbyes before going to work. The babies were asleep and Paul was playing some videogame, so it was just my mother, Yeva and Vika seeing me off.

"It's about time you stopped feeling sorry for yourself and went home, you've got a lot to do to make things right."  
I kiss Yeva's cheek. "I know babushka."  
She smiles at me. "Just keep in mind that it might take time Dimka. It took a lot for Rose to lose her trust in you. It will take a lot to earn it back."  
"I will do whatever she needs me to do."

Next, Vika hugs me and whispers "Tell Rose I'm sorry. And please thank her for saving my big brother."  
"I will."

Mama is the last to hug me before I get in the car.  
"It'll all work out Dimka. Take Rose with you next time you visit."  
"I hope so Mama. I'll call you soon."

After an uneventful drive I make it to the airport just before nightfall. I've got a lot of time to kill before my 6am flight. I browse the bookstore for any new westerns but I've already read everything they have in stock. In the end I get something to eat and settle into a seat. It's a little uncomfortable, these seats aren't made for someone my size, but it'll have to do. Compared to all the times I've guarded events and spent the whole night on my feet, it's actually not all that bad.

I start reading the western I've got with me but it doesn't grasp my attention like it normally would. Yeva is right, getting Rose back won't be easy, I've got my work cut out for me. With Abe watching me and Rose working, I'll have a hard time just finding a possibility to talk to her. My best chance will be to try and find out her routine and run into her somewhere. Eventually I stop trying to come up with a plan and spend the rest of the night just thinking about Roza. Time passes surprisingly fast and before I know it, it's time to board.

* * *

Almost twentyfour hours and two layovers later, I finally make it back to Court. It's late in the human afternoon, meaning the day is about to start here. Between switching from a human to a vampire schedule and flying halfway across the world, I'm a little jetlagged and I crash onto my bed, not even bothering to change.

I've slept for less than two hours when I wake up to someone knocking on my door. I have a feeling of déjà vu, but fortunately Hans isn't there when I open my door this time. Instead a guardian I don't know is standing in front of me.  
"Good morning mr Belikov. Guardian Croft heard you had returned and would like you to report to his office at half past 7, which is in.." He checks his watch. "45 minutes. Don't be late."  
I confirm I will be there and the guardian leaves. I wonder what Hans wants with me, especially this early. He was fine with me leaving and I've only been gone for about a week. I didn't expect to be summoned this quickly upon my return, or at all for that matter. I quickly take a shower, get dressed and head out. I consider stopping at the café for a coffee to go, but that'd be cutting it a little close, so I hope I can get some coffee at headquarters instead.

I'm just telling the guardian at the security desk why I'm here when Hans walks in behind me.  
"Ah Belikov, right on time. Please come with me."  
I follow him to his personal office. The rest of the building is still quiet, most guardians at headquarters don't start until 8. Hans invites me to sit and thankfully gets us both a cup of coffee before getting started.  
"So Belikov, how was your family?"  
"They were fine sir, very happy to know I'm alive."  
"I wouldn't have expected anything else. You returned a little quicker than I thought you would though."  
"While I loved seeing my family, Baia is not my home anymore. I felt like I should be at Court, find something to do." It's not a lie, but it's not the whole truth either. I'm not going to tell Hans I came here because I want to try and fix things with Rose though.  
"That's good to hear, because I actually do have something for you."  
"You do?"  
"Yes. I've been told it would be a waste to lose a guardian with an exemplary record like yours. While I can't put you back on active duty right now, I have decided it would be beneficial for you to train with one of the other guardians, as well as follow him around when he's on duty. Hopefully it will put everyone at ease to see you behaving as any other guardian, and it might make the transition to you being an actual guardian easier."

It sounds like Hans thinks I might have a chance at being reinstated after all. I hope he's right. While Roza is the most important thing to me, being a guardian was a huge part of my life. I didn't expect to get a second chance.  
"That's great, when do I start? Do I know the guardian I'll be following?"  
"Yes you do actually." Hans is interrupted by a knock at the door. "Ah great timing. Come in!"  
A young man I'm well acquainted with walks in.  
"Excellent, I was just telling Belikov he'll be joining you Guardian Castile."  
"Yes sir, I just came to see if he was ready. My shift starts soon."  
"Yes we're nearly done. Belikov, you're to join Guardian Castile on all his shifts as well as do any amount of training he deems necessary. A copy of his schedule has been sent to your email. I expect you to follow any order he gives you and keep a low profile. Please remember you're not a guardian at this point. I will be getting regular updates from Castile on how you're doing."  
"Thank you for this opportunity Guardian Croft, you won't regret giving me a chance."  
He nods at both of us before turning to his computer, clearly our meeting is over.

I follow Eddie out of the building.  
"Thanks for agreeing to do this Eddie."  
He grimaces a little as I say his name and his reply is formal. "No problem mr Belikov, it's my job." It seems he's not feeling particularly friendly towards me at the moment.  
"My apologies Guardian Castile. What shift have you been assigned?"  
"We'll be patrolling the wards at the east side of Court until sunrise."  
And that's exactly what we do. We walk the path that runs alongside the wards, looking for anything suspicious. We see nothing out of the ordinary though so we just keep going. Eddie doesn't speak a word all day. I wonder how he ended up with this assignment. He's obviously not very pleased to have me tagging along.

At the end of the shift we make our way back and Eddie stops and turns to me just outside the guardian buildings.  
"I've got some paperwork to do. Our shift at the gate starts at 7 tomorrow, see you there."  
I pick up something to eat before heading back to my room. When I've finished my meal I get ready for bed. It was a long day and it didn't go anything like I expected upon my return to Court. I had hoped to see Roza today, but my early meeting with Hans and then the patrol shift got in the way. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow.

* * *

Guarding the gates next day isn't all that different from walking patrol with Eddie. He doesn't talk unless he needs to and keeps his guardian mask firmly in place when he can't avoid me. There are several other guardians about but they keep their distance from me. Thankfully this shift isn't as long as the patrol ones and just before our replacements take over Eddie calls me over to him.  
"Since it's still pretty early, we'll be going to the gym once we're done."  
I nod at him, it's a good idea. I could do with a workout anyway, I haven't trained in several days.

We make our way to the gym about 15 minutes later and after changing into shorts and a tshirt, Eddie suggests we do a quick warm-up before moving on to some weight-training. As I'm running on the treadmill, I can see the track through the window. A slim figure with long, dark hair is making her way around it. Roza.

I don't get much time to watch her because Eddie is telling me to move on. For the next 45 minutes we push ourselves. I'm impressed, Eddie must do this regularly because he's in excellent shape. The exercises he makes me do aren't too taxing in themselves, but as we both push eachother to do more than we might normally have done, I'm covered with sweat by the time we take a break.

As I'm drinking some water, I look outside to see Rose still running. I frown.  
"How long has Rose been out there? She was already running when we got here, isn't she overdoing it?"  
Eddie glares at me and doesn't answer, but another guardian joins me at the window.  
"Ah Hathaway. She's probably been running for an hour, hour and a half. She always does."  
"Always?"  
"Yes she runs for at least an hour every day before and after work."  
An hour, twice a day, every day? I tried to teach Rose the importance of running when I was her mentor, but this seems excessive.

As we're watching her she checks her watch, slows down a little and changes direction. She jogs towards the doors of the gym and I turn to see her enter and make her way over to the weightroom as well. She pays no attention to us, takes a few sips from her water bottle and then starts lifting.  
I haven't really seen Rose up close since the café a few weeks ago, and at the time I was still very confused about my feelings. Seeing her now, I'm nearly blown away by everything I'm feeling. How did I ever think I could live without Roza?

Like the last time I saw her, she's not making small talk. I'm a little saddened to observe that she's skinnier than she used to be. She's still incredibly beautiful, but her arms and legs are thinner, she's not as curvy as she was before and her face has lost some of it's softness.  
"Did she lose weight?"  
I forgot about the unknown guardian next to me until he answers. "No clue, she's hot though isn't she? I can tell you, I wouldn't mind giving her some private training sessions."  
He's still ogling her as I turn to him, so at least he doesn't witness the murderous look on my face. Eddie does, and his face has a similar expression, only it's directed at me. He beckons me to follow him. He doesn't talk until we're out of the weightroom.  
"It's think we should spar Belikov."

As we're sparring, I can feel anger radiating from Eddie. I'm pretty sure I could take him, but his rage makes him unpredictable and a little reckless so I stick to defensive moves. At some point I dodge a kick aimed at my side. I can see him pulling back fist and I know I can't avoid it, so I brace myself for impact. I assume it'll land on my shoulder and I'm going to use the force of his blow against him, but it connects painfully with my nose instead. He actually hit me hard enough that I fall backwards. I'm about to call Eddie out for going out of bounds, but he speaks up first.  
"Let me make one thing very clear Belikov. What Rose does, or the way she looks, is absolutely none of your business. There's plenty of people around her who care about her and keep an eye on how she's doing, so keep out of it."  
"I care about her as well."  
"You've got a damn funny way of showing it." I sit up, gingerly feeling my nose. I don't think it's broken but it does hurt. I'm bound to have a black eye tomorrow.  
"You don't know everything that happened."  
"Maybe not, but I know enough. Stay away from her, she doesn't need you to complicate her life any further."  
"Eddie.."  
"We're done for today. See you at sunset for our patrol shift." He stalks away.

Our session must've taken longer than I thought, because the gym is deserted as I make my way to the locker room. I wash the blood of my face and change into clean clothes.  
I put some ice on my nose before going to bed to reduce the swelling, but when I looked in the mirror earlier I could already see bruises forming. Eddie was seriously out of line, but there's not much I can do about it. If this is how Rose felt when her mother gave her a black eye, I can't blame her for being pissed when I told her it must've been an accident. You don't get hit like this by accident. Eddie meant to do this.

* * *

When I wake up my nose is throbbing and I see not one but two black eyes in the mirror. I'm not a vain man but I'm not happy to be walking around looking like this. When I join Eddie for our shift he quickly glances at my face before looking away. He doesn't say a word and starts walking, and I follow him like I'm supposed to.

It's not until the sky is already lightening, maybe half an hour left to our shift, that he finally talks to me.  
"How's the nose?"  
"Not broken, it'll be fine in a few days."  
After a short silence he speaks up again.  
"I shouldn't have hit you like that." It doesn't escape my notice that he's not actually apologizing.  
"No you shouldn't have. And don't try and tell me it was an accident."  
"You're right, I felt you deserved it."  
"As far as I know, I did nothing to you to deserve that."  
"I don't really need any other reason than the state Rose is currently in to want to punch you."

I know Rose and Eddie are close. After Spokane Eddie changed a lot. He became more serious, more focussed, more dedicated to his training. Losing Mason affected both of them and they banded together. At first I wondered if he was interested in Rose romantically, like Mason was. They're more like brother and sister though, and he's very protective of Roza.

"I've got plenty of reasons though. If you had at least made Rose happy after you were restored, everything would've been worth it. The jail, the trip to Vegas, the crazy stories that Robert guy told us, the punishment afterwards. Well since you're here I suppose Robert's stories weren't all that crazy, but that's not the point." None of what he's saying makes any sense to me.  
"Castile, I've got no clue what you're talking about."  
"How convenient."  
"Eddie, I mean it. I know I messed up with Rose, and believe me when I tell you I regret it. But I didn't understand a word of what you just said."

He looks me over, probably trying to figure out if I'm sincere. Apparently he decides I am. He's incredulous.  
"You really don't have a clue, do you? Rose needed information from Robert. He apparently saved a Strigoi once and Rose wanted to know how he'd done it. The only way to get to him was through his brother, Victor. That's why they were with us in Vegas when you attacked us."

I remember the fight at the hotel. When I tracked Rose down in Las Vegas, there were several people with her. I was so intent on killing her though, I never paid much attention to the others. I just remember Eddie being there because he got fairly close to staking me.  
I try and recall the others. There were several Moroi with them. Vasilisa was there, and Adrian, as well as a middle-aged man I don't know who must've been Robert. The final person in their group was someone I am familiar with though. Last time I saw him was in a courtroom, looking much younger and healthier, defending his reasons for taking and torturing Vasilisa. Victor Dashkov.

"How did Victor get there? I heard he broke out of Tarasov but that's a long way from Las Vegas."  
Things are starting to connect in my mind and the truth dawns on me.  
"Please tell me you didn't have anything to do with that."  
The only response I get from Eddie is a shrug.  
"Eddie, you didn't, did you?"  
"As I said, Rose needed information and this was the only way to get it. Lissa and I made sure she got what she needed."

Roza broke Victor Dashkov out of prison? She committed treason and risked Eddie's and Vasilisa's lives as well as her own, because she thought there might be a tiny chance of saving me. When Oksana told me what she told Roza, I knew Roza would try to get to the bottom of it. But I once again underestimated how far she was willing to go to uncover the information she needed. She broke her worst enemy out of high-security prison, for me.  
I know crazy plans are her specialty, but this is insane even by Roza's standards.

Eddie doesn't give me much time to process this though, he's not done talking yet.  
"At the time I didn't know she was chasing a fairytale of course. Then again, I also didn't know she loved you. She didn't tell me until after she blocked me from staking you. Looking back, I should've realized something was going on. The way she acted around you, the way you looked after her whenever something bad happened. I should've known."  
I don't blame Eddie for not figuring it out sooner. We both tried our best to keep our feelings hidden, to make sure nobody would find out. As far as I know, nobody at the academy ever knew. It seemed the only way back then, but looking back, all I can see is how much time we've wasted.

"Anyway, when we got back to Court we got in major trouble for taking the last Dragomir on an unauthorized crazy Vegas trip. Rose and I were both put to work gardening and cleaning at first, and later assigned to the office. I might have a chance to be assigned a charge soon, but Rose is probably going to be on desk duty for a while yet."  
I can tell he's getting angry again.  
"I wouldn't have cared though. I would gladly go through all that again if Rose would've been happy in the end, rather than walking around like a ghost-version of herself. But we set a dangerous man free, both damaged our careers and risked a bunch of lives, only for you to just push her away once you were saved. So you see, I've got plenty of reasons to want to punch you. I think you deserve a hell of a lot worse than a few bruises."

Eddie is right, I do deserve a lot worse. I really messed up when I was restored and I've got more to make up for than I realized. But that's not going to stop me from trying to make things right, and I should start with apologizing to Eddie now that I have the chance.  
"I'm sorry Eddie. I've only recently found out more of what Rose went through and I had no idea about any of this. That's no excuse for how I acted though."  
"Yeah whatever. It's not me you should be apologizing to."  
Our shift is finished by now and we're at the edge of one of the courtyards. Before I can say anything Eddie is already walking away, not wanting to be in my company for any longer than he needs to.

* * *

I'm so absorbed in my thoughts as I continue walking, I bump straight into someone.  
"I'm sorry, are you okay?"  
A girl with blonde hair smiles at me. "No problem Guardian Belikov, I'm fine. I actually wanted to ask you something."  
"What can I help you with? It's Mia right?"  
"Yes. Was that Eddie I saw walking away? I've been looking for him."  
"It was, but I'm not sure where he went."  
"I'll just follow him then, thanks. I'm glad he's helping you out by the way. At least volunteering to help you got him out of the office."  
"Eddie volunteered?" That's a surprise, he just made it very clear he dislikes me.  
"Yes didn't he tell you? Hans asked for volunteers to train with you, but nobody seemed willing so Rose asked Eddie to do it. He didn't think it was a good idea at first, but she said it would get him back in the field faster, and training with you would make him a better guardian."

I should have known. Eddie didn't do it because he wanted to help me, but because Roza asked him to. "Why didn't she volunteer herself?"  
Mia looks a little uncomfortable at that. " From what Eddie said, she didn't want to force you to be in her company. If nobody had stepped up she would have though. Eddie told me this might be your only chance to become a guardian again, and Rose didn't want to let it go to waste. But I should get going or I'll never catch Eddie. It was nice seeing you again though."  
"You too. Good luck finding Eddie."  
She waves at me as she heads after him.

My head is swimming with everything I've learned today. I told myself long ago I would never underestimate Roza, but once again I have. Not only was she willing to go much further to save me than I thought before, she is apparently still doing her best to help me now, even after I've let her down time and time again. I wonder if that means she still loves me and I still have a chance with her. I sure hope I do.

* * *

 _ **Author's note:  
**_ _ **I wasn't quite done torturing Dimitri yet, he still didn't know the whole story after all. And I just love Eddie, I've been looking forward to writing this chapter since I started the story.**_


	11. Chapter 10

_**Thanks again for the reviews, you guys are awesome! I couldn't write a story about Rose's friends and not get Eddie involved. Lissa might be her best friend (and will also show up eventually) but Eddie is like her brother. Also, I just love Eddie, so even if he wasn't a big part of her life, I still would've written him into the story somehow.**_

 ** _I will try my best to update again next Tuesday, but we're going away for a few days so it might be delayed until Wednesday._**

 ** _Characters and stuff aren't mine but Richelle Mead's, but as you all probably love the original story as much as I did, I'm sure you're aware of that :)_**

 **Chapter 10**

 **DPOV**

I need to talk to Roza. I'm not sure if she wants to talk to me though, and it's going to be hard to find an opportunity either way. I found out she has a spotless reputation ever since being assigned to the office. She is early for work, usually skips her breaks and doesn't leave until her work is done. Before and after work she goes for a run and then works out in the gym, but she usually keeps to herself, only sparring with a select few. As far as I can tell she eats her meals in her room rather than the guardian lounge, so no chance of catching her there either. I've gone back to the café where I talked to Janine a few weeks ago, but so far I haven't seen her there yet.  
I'm still on patrol duty with Eddie so our schedules rarely line up, making it hard to catch her at the gym. I've seen her a few times in passing, but it seems that as soon as she notices me she heads in a different direction.

I don't catch a break until nearly a week later. We're guarding the gates today and start a little later than usual. As I walk into the café, I see Rose waiting at the counter until her order is ready. I casually lean against the counter right beside her and order my own coffee. From the corner of my eye I see her stiffen slightly when she hears my voice, but thankfully her order isn't done yet and she stays where she is. I decide to try my luck.  
"Rose."  
At first I think she isn't going to answer or even acknowledge me, but then she turns to me and nods. She doesn't speak, but at this point I suppose it's more than I could ask for.  
"I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"  
She is quiet for a few seconds before she decides to answer.  
"I'm good, thank you."

It's obviously a lie. Her voice is soft and without inflection, and I can tell from the shadows under her eyes that she hasn't been sleeping well. I've seen her in several difficult situations, after Mason's death I thought she might lose it for a while, but all that was nothing compared to the way she is now. I can only hope it's temporary, that I can somehow fix my mistakes and get my Roza back.

The barrista is handing her her coffee and sandwich to go and I panic a little, realizing my chance to talk to her is slipping away. I act on impulse before she can walk away.  
"Rose, would you mind if I join you?"  
She seems confused. "I'm going to the office, my shift starts soon."  
"That's fine, I was just going to take a walk, and the office is as good a direction as any. If you don't mind of course."  
I'm not sure what's the last time someone asked her a direct question, but it takes her a while to think of an answer. The barrista is handing me my coffee by then.  
"Uhm, okay?"

I follow her outside and we head towards the guardian buildings. I can't believe I'm actually walking next to Roza again. Just being near her is intoxicating. I've got a million things I'd like to tell her, but I don't think now is the right time. I'm going to have to take things slow, I can tell she's tense being around me. I want her to trust me like she once did, and I'm afraid that if I move too fast I'll end up pushing her away.  
It's hard to find an innocent topic of conversation though. Anything mentioning St Vladimirs, our relationship, Russia, most of her family and friends, all of my family and friends is out of the question if I don't want to drag up any bad memories.

I've always felt at ease around Roza. Most people feel the need to fill the silence with mindless chatter, but with Rose silence used to feel comfortable. Right now I want to talk to her though, to break down her walls and catch a glimpse of the real her. With most subjects out of the question, I settle on something safe. Anything to get her talking to me to be honest. I've missed hearing her voice.  
"So what do you do at the office?" Not the best subject, after all, she ended up there as punishment, but it's the best I can come up with.  
"Hm? Oh make schedules, file reports, keep track of assignments, that kind of thing."  
"Do you mind it?"  
"It needs to be done. The other guardians can't function if the paperwork isn't taken care of."  
"That's true, I don't think many of them realize it though."  
She just shrugs and doesn't say anything else.

We get to the office soon after, and while I'm tempted to pretend to have some reason to be there and follow her inside, I decide not to.  
"Thank you for letting me walk with you."  
"You're welcome. Take care."  
She walks towards the door. Everything she said to me sounded so detached, like I could be anyone. I feel a little disheartened until I see her pause at the door and quickly look back in my direction. I don't think she expected me to still be there and she freezes when our eyes lock. God I wish I could close the distance between us and pull her in my arms. Instead I just smile at her.  
"You take care too Roza." She jumps a little as I call her by her Russian name. I only used to call her that when we were alone and I was feeling affectionate. She doesn't question my use of it though. After looking at me for another second, she turns around and slips into the door.

I sigh as she disappears from view. I've been told by multiple people that Roza changed, but I still didn't really expect this quiet, distant girl. I decide then and there that I'll do whatever it takes to get her to return to herself. If it's my fault she's acting this way now, there must be some way I can fix it. Not just because I want to be with her. If she doesn't want me, I've got noone to blame but myself, and I'll find a way to live with it. But this isn't her, and after everything she's been through, she deserves to be happy.

I'm still staring at the door when someone talks behind me.  
"I thought I told you to stay away from Rose."  
"Yes, but I don't think that's up to you. If Rose tells me to stay away from her I will. And you're the one who implied I should apologize to her."  
"I suppose I did." Eddie sounds resigned. "Please don't do anything to hurt her, I'm still hoping she'll recover eventually and I don't want you to destroy that chance."  
"Believe me when I tell you that's the last thing I want as well."  
"So, did you apologize to Rose?"  
"Not yet. She deserves a proper apology and an explanation of why I acted the way I did. I can't give her that in a few minutes, and if I get a choice in the matter I'd prefer to do it without an audience."  
"I wouldn't count on getting a choice if I were you. Sounds like it'll be quite the conversation once you get to it though, good luck getting Rose to listen."  
"Thank you, I'll need it."  
We've made our way to the gates while talking and arrive right on time for our shift. Eddie doesn't speak to me again.

* * *

Next day we're once again guarding the gates. I'm all set to spend another day in complete silence, but as I get in position Eddie leans against the wall next to me, looking thoughtful.  
"Dimitri, how did Rose respond to you yesterday?"  
"She was quiet and seemed tense. Why do you ask?"  
"I suppose I was just hoping she showed some emotion. To be honest, I guess her feeling uneasy around you might actually be progress. She's been completely lifeless ever since the hearing. Or well, just before it really. She was already like this when she turned herself in."  
It hurts me to hear him say this. Roza has been like this for almost three months, everyone has been worried about her and it took me forever to figure out that it's actually my fault. My careless words caused this mess.

Eddie is watching me intently. I'm not sure what he sees on my face, but he actually looks more sympathetic than I would expect.  
"Do you love her?"  
"Yes, more than anything." I answer without hesitation. There's a lot of things I am unsure of at the moment, but I know how I feel about Roza, and I know nothing will change that.  
"I wasn't sure if it was mutual you know. Rose only told me she loved you and you were more than her mentor, not if you returned her feelings. At first I thought you did, but after the way you acted after your restoration I assumed it was all her."  
"I understand it must've looked that way. I just... I don't know Eddie, it's a little hard to explain why I acted the way I did."

He takes his time to consider that. It's a bit awkward, talking to him about my feelings. Just a few months ago he was a student at the academy while I was a teacher, and I would never have considered sharing anything personal with him. I'm a very private person, I never let anyone in until Roza came along and broke through my walls. After what Eddie did to help Roza though and the care he's showing for her now, I think he has a right to know. Also, he might not like me, but as far as Rose is concerned we're on the same side. We both want what's best for her. I just need to convince him of that.

"You're not going to stay away from her are you?"  
"Not until I've had the chance to properly talk to her."  
"Even if it would be better for her?"  
"If Rose tells me she wants nothing to do with me, I'll leave her be and make sure she never has to deal with me again."  
"And if I tell you it would be better for her right now?"  
"Do you really think it is? I'm not saying I know what's best for Rose, but according to you she's been like this for months. Don't you want to take the chance that I might be able to make some difference?"  
At that point a car pulls up to the gates, thereby ending out conversation. I don't think there was anything left to say anyway, it's unlikely Eddie will agree with me and if I'm honest with myself, even I think it's improbable I'll be able to help Rose.

Things are quiet for the next few hours. I'm standing a few yards away from Eddie and the other two guardians stationed here when Eddie gives me an order.  
"Belikov, I need you to go to the office and see if you can change my schedule. I know our day off is supposed to be Monday, but I've got some things to do on Tuesday so please see if they can change that around."  
Why would he want to change his day off? I heard him tell someone a few days ago that he made plans with Mia on Monday. It's not upto me to question him though.  
"Yes Guardian Castile, I'll take care of it when we're done here."  
"Please go now. By the time our shift is over there will be hardly anyone in the office so it might be more difficult to arrange. We've only got a little over an hour left here anyway. I will see you in the morning and I expect this to be taken care of by then."  
"I'll be on my way."

I've walked about 20 yards before Eddie calls after me.  
"Belikov, I think Guardian Hathaway is in charge of scheduling at the moment, so ask for her."  
I turn around and look at him incredulously. Eddie is helping me? He walks over to me and speaks in a low voice.  
"Nothing any of us did made a difference, I guess I'm willing to see if you can get through to her. Don't mess this up. If you make things worse, I'll personally call Abe to inform him I saw you talking to her." If I mess this up I'll turn myself over to Abe willingly, I'd deserve whatever he wants to do to me.  
"Thanks Eddie, I really appreciate it." And I do. After everything he said last week I never expected him to help me.

* * *

When I get to headquarters I ask the guardian at the security desk for Guardian Hathaway. He waves me in without any questions, so at least she didn't go home yet. As I walk through the office a steady stream of people is making their way out. Eddie was right, if I had waited another hour this place would've been empty. I spot Roza at her desk, the only one still working, and I make my way over. I know I've just seen her yesterday but it feels like it's been forever.  
"Hello Rose."  
She whirls around in her seat.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Eddie asked me to see if you could change his schedule next week. He has some things to do and wanted to see if you could change his day off from Monday to Tuesday."  
She regains her composure.  
"If you have a minute, I'll see what I can do."  
"Of course, take your time."

I sit down at the desk next to her. She focusses on her work but I see her glancing at me every few seconds. I should feel sorry for making Roza uncomfortable, but I'm actually a little happy to see she's not entirely indifferent to my presence. She might've buried her emotions, but they don't seem to be gone completely.  
While she's working I use this opportunity to really look at Rose and memorize every little detail, just in case she does tell me to leave her alone. I don't realize she's done and I'm staring at her until she clears her throat and looks down, blushing under my intense gaze.

"You can tell Eddie it's all taken care off. I've already sent the changed schedule to his email."  
"Thank you. Since I'm shadowing him, could you send it to me as well?"  
"Oh, I didn't think of that. I've already turned off my computer."  
"No problem, I'll just ask Eddie tomorrow. Thank you Roza."  
Her eyes flash back to mine and she looks a little bewildered. Within a second her blank guardian mask is back in place though.  
"No problem. Did you need anything else before I leave? I have plans." I get up, she's clearly dismissing me and I don't want to push my company on her.  
"Not at the moment. I'm sorry I kept you late, I hope it didn't interfere with your plans for the evening."  
She answers absentmindedly while falling into step next to me. "It's okay, I was just going for a run."

As we walk out of the office side by side, I briefly consider asking her if she wants company on her run, but I decide not to. I've already been in her presence twice in two days, I don't want to push my luck.  
"Thanks again for your help, enjoy your run."  
I might be mistaken, but I actually think she looks a little disappointed. Is it possible she wanted me to join her?  
"Thank you. Bye." She definitely looks dejected as she walks away in the direction of the track, and without taking a second to consider my actions, I call after her.  
"Rose? I plan on running tomorrow morning at six, before I have to start patrolling. Maybe I'll see you then?"  
She doesn't turn back. I'm not even sure she heard me, until she pauses before taking her next step and answers my question.  
"Maybe."  
At least she didn't say no.

* * *

I wake up really early next morning. For a change it's not nightmares bothering me, but nerves. I wonder if Rose will meet me at the track this morning. To be honest I think my chances are slim. I might want to spend time with her, but it seems unlikely she feels the same way. Last night I was thrilled I didn't get an outright no, but by half past 5 I would've given anything for her to have given me a straight answer. I decide to head out early and wait at the track.

Forty minutes later my hopes are dashed. I hoped my comment yesterday would make her adjust the timing of her own run to meet with me, but it might've just had the opposite effect. It gave her the chance to avoid me completely. I start running on my own. I know I'm much slower than normal, but I'm too despondent to really care.  
I'm on my third lap when I hear footfalls behind me, someone running at a much higher pace than my own. I move to the side to allow the faster runner to pass, but to my surprise whoever it is slows down a little when they get near me. A breathless voice calls out to me.  
"Sorry I'm late."  
A weight is lifted from my shoulders and I suddenly feel lighter than I have done since my restoration. Roza. I look at her with such a bright smile she nearly stumbles.  
"No problem, I'm glad you're here."

We both pick up the pace and run in silence, but I can see her peeking at me from time to time, apparently confused by my obvious good mood. We run like this for almost an hour and it feels so much like old times. For just a little while I get to enjoy the normality of this moment and I feel like myself again. Not the person I have been for the past few months, but the person I used to be with Roza, before all the bad things happened to us. It might be wishfull thinking on my part, but I think she feels it too. At one point I'm deep in thought and I trip over my own feet. It's so unlike me I actually laugh at myself and I could've sworn I saw a hint of a smile on Roza's face as well.

After our run we both go our seperate ways. Rose makes her way to the gym and I hurry back to my room to shower and change before I have to meet Eddie. I'm still in an excellent mood. Somewhere underneath her emotionless facade my Roza is still there, and she willingly joined me this morning. It's more than I could've hoped for.

Sadly my day takes a turn for the worse soon after. I'm still smiling as I make my way down the hall to my room, when I notice someone waiting for me. As I see who it is, my blood runs cold.  
"Morning Belikov. It seems we are to continue the conversation we had a while ago. I'd prefer to do so in a more secluded location so might I suggest you invite me in?"  
Zmey..

* * *

 ** _Author's note:  
_** ** _I felt it was time to get Rose involved a little. After all, her friends can talk about her as much as they like, it's not a real Romitri if she isn't part of the story herself. Anyway, I tried to give Dimitri some hopeful signs to make sure he stays on track. No worries, just because Rose doesn't kick his ass straight away, doesn't mean it's not coming. We'll make him work for it ;)_**


	12. Chapter 11

_**Thanks for all the great reviews on the previous chapter! I hope you like this one as well.**_

 ** _As usual, the characters are all owned by Richelle Mead. I'm just having some fun making Dimitri work for it._**

 **Chapter 11**

 **DPOV**

I should've known Zmey would be keeping an eye on me. I had hoped to have a little more time to get through to Rose before he interfered though.  
"Mr. Mazur, you're welcome to come in, but I have to leave again in ten minutes."  
"I'm sure whatever you need to do can be.. postponed."  
I shake my head. "I'm afraid not. I need to patrol the wards with Guardian Castile."  
"As far as I'm aware you're only following him around, so surely he can do without you for the day." Of course Abe would know the conditions of my assignment. I wonder how closely he's been watching me and if he's got someone following me fulltime. The thought makes me quite uncomfortable.  
"Apart from the fact that I don't want any guardian to be out there on their own if it isn't strictly necessary, Rose is actually the one who got me assigned to follow Guardian Castile. I'm not about to ruin her efforts on my behalf by missing a shift Mr. Mazur."  
I'm taking a risk by mentioning this, it might just piss him off a lot more. In that case I'll find a way to deal with it though. I'm not sure how much effort it took Roza to get Hans to agree on this, but it can't have been easy. Missing a shift is just not an option. Eddie would have to report it and I'd lose this opportunity.

Abe looks me up and down and I stand a little taller. I am intimidated by him, but it wouldn't do for him to know that.  
"Fine, you'll be meeting me for dinner tonight. Pavel will let you know where. Don't think you can stay away without consequences."  
"I'll be there." I'm not about to give him any extra reason to dislike me.  
"Excellent." He walks away without another word. When he's out of sight I heave a sigh of relief. I'm not looking forward to tonight, but at least I'm getting a chance to explain. It's more than I could hope for really.

* * *

I change and rush out the door. Eddie is already waiting for me and we start walking straight away.  
"Since I had an email from Rose with my altered schedule I'm assuming you found her yesterday?"  
"Yes, I was lucky she was still there. Her coworkers had already left."  
I can tell he's curious about how things went, but he doesn't ask and I'm grateful for that. My mind is reeling with all the things Abe might do to me tonight for talking to his daughter. I think back on our last conversation and the clear threat in his words. Zmey is not a man who believes in second chances. You either do what he wants, or he'll make sure you'll regret it. Since I don't plan on staying away from Rose, I'm a little apprehensive about his plans for me.

The day passes quickly and before I know it, it's close to sunrise. I'm mentally preparing myself for the next few hours when Eddie speaks up.  
"I thought it'd be a good idea to go to the gym when we're done here. We haven't trained much in the last few days."  
"Actually Eddie, would you mind if we do that some other time? I already went for a run this morning and I have a dinner appointment I don't want to be late for."  
He raises his eyebrow at me. It's obvious he's not pleased with my answer. "Oh really? Who's the lucky lady? I doubt you managed to convince Rose to go on a date with you already."  
I give a humourless chuckle. "Not likely no. And I don't think Abe will appreciate you referring to him as a lady."  
His mouth falls open. "Oh damn, he found out you talked to Rose? I didn't tell him anything, I swear."  
It's a bit of a relief to know I'm not the only one who has a very healthy dose of respect for Abe.

When we get back to the guardian buildings Eddie pats me on the shoulder.  
"Well, best of luck to you Dimitri. Barring any serious injury, unconciousness or death, I do expect you to show up for work tomorrow. Unless you're locked in a basement somewhere. I'd still have to report your absence of course, but I'm sure missing work would be the least of your problems in that situation."  
I groan. I hadn't thought about Abe locking me up yet. "Thanks Eddie, I feel so much better now."  
"Glad I could help!" He grins and waves as he walks off.

* * *

When I get back to my room, Pavel has left a note when and where to meet Abe. I have just over half an hour to get there so I quickly take a shower, shave and put on a dress shirt. I might as well try to make a good impression, even though it's probably too late for it to make any difference in Abe's opinion of me.

I get to the restaurant five minutes early, but Abe is already sitting at a table, waiting for me. His guardians are nowhere to be seen, so I assume they don't expect me to cause him any trouble, but I'm sure they're close just in case. He doesn't answer my greeting but just nods to the chair opposite him. As soon as I sit down he waves the waitress over and orders a glass of wine. I'm tempted to order a vodka. I could probably use some liquid courage, but I'm going to need a clear head to deal with Abe so I stick to water instead.

As soon as the waitress is out of hearing range his eyes bore into me.  
"Would you care to explain yourself boy?"  
"In regards to what Mr. Mazur?"  
"Don't play dumb. I know you've been talking to Rose against my express wishes. I warned you what would happen if you didn't listen to me."  
I take a deep breath before I reply. I'm fairly sure he's not going to like my answer.  
"Actually sir, you warned me about the consequences of hurting Rose again, which I have absolutely no intention of doing. You didn't order me to stay away from her, you merely stated you thought it was better if I did."

His eyes narrow as he stares me down, but I refuse to give in. If he wants to hurt me I can't stop him, but unless he kills me it won't keep me away from Roza.  
"Hm I suppose I should be glad you paid attention to what I told you. I hope you'll also remember what I tell you now. Stay away from Rose or you'll regret it." I can hear a dangerous note to his voice, but it doesn't matter. Nothing he says will change my answer.  
"With all due respect sir, I won't. If Rose tells me to I'll be gone in a second, but it's upto her. I tried to make that decision for her and I think we both know how that turned out."  
"Which is why you'll stay away from her. You've hurt her before and it broke her spirit. If you persist in approaching her for a walk or a run, I will have to find a more permanent solution to keep you from walking."  
"If that's what you think is best sir. A wheelchair would definitely complicate matters, but it wouldn't stop me from trying."  
His eyes narrow further but I meet his gaze unflinchingly. The waitress brings us our drinks but since Abe doesn't look away, neither do I. No matter the physical pain he might put me in, it will be nothing compared to the agony I would feel if I gave up on Roza without a fight.

After a few minutes he grins at me.  
"Well I'm glad to see you finally grew a pair boy, it's about time." I'm stunned, that's definitely not the reaction I expected.  
"Excuse me?"  
"I would've been disappointed if I had been able to scare you off so easily. Rose deserves someone who is willing to give everything for her if it came to that. If the mere threat of bodily harm would've been enough to deter you, I wouldn't allow you to go anywhere near her again."

I want to make absolutely sure I understood Abe correctly. I'd like to avoid another confrontation with him next time I talk to Roza.  
"You won't try to keep me from spending time with Rose?"  
"Not at the moment, no."  
"I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why? I'm sure you could think of ways to keep me away from her, with or without my cooperation."  
He tilts his head to the side and regards me thoughtfully. "Yes I probably could, and you would do well to remember that. If Rose found out I interfered though, she would probably be upset with me. We've only just gotten to know eachother and I would prefer not to ruin our relationship."  
I can understand where he's coming from. Rose isn't the type to rely on another person, not even a parent. I think the only person she ever put her trust in has been me, and I royally screwed up.

Apparently Abe has another reason because he continues talking.  
"Secondly.. As I was leaving your building after our little meeting this morning, I ran into Rose. She was distracted and didn't notice me at first, but when I called out to her she gave me half a smile and waved. It might not be much, but it's more than I've seen from her in months. Andrei informed me afterwards that he saw you two on the track together."  
Roza was smiling after having spent time with me? I can't help but grin at that information. It's good to know she doesn't only accept my company, but it actually makes her somewhat happy.  
"Don't look so pleased with yourself."  
I look down and try to hide my smile, but it takes me a few seconds to wipe it off my face and adopt a respectful but serious look instead.

The waitress brings our food and we make small talk. Or well, Abe talks, and I give appropriate answers. I try not to volunteer too much information myself. He might not be out to hurt me now, but I can't be sure he won't change his mind. After we've finished he orders us both coffee. I'm starting to relax a little, thinking he is done asking questions. Of course he proves me wrong soon after.  
"So tell me Dimitri, what did you think of the reading material I sent you before your trip?"  
"It was very informative sir."  
"I think we're past such formalities, feel free to call me Abe."  
It feels a little odd to adress him like that. I never expected to be on a first name basis with Zmey and I'm unsure whether it's a good or a bad thing. I'm not about to deny his request though, so I nod.

"I thought those reports might interest you. But if I might ask, what did you actually expect when you received the envelope and you found out I sent it?"  
"Uhm.. Well... I considered several options."  
"Really? Would you care to elaborate?" He asks, genuinely curious.  
I'm actually interested to see what he'll make of it. "I thought it might be a packet of information on medieval torture methods, gruesome pictures and all. Or it could've been a map of body dumpsites within an hour of court."  
He laughs out loud and takes out his phone, quickly typing something. "I hope you don't mind I made a note, those are excellent ideas."  
I immediately feel sorry for the next person who crosses Zmey. It seems like he or she is in for a nasty surprise.

* * *

The next several days pass by quickly. I go running every morning, and Rose joins me twice. We still haven't really talked, but just seeing her regularly is amazing. On Tuesday I wake up early, even though it's my day off. I don't know if Rose will be running this morning and I'm not about to miss an opportunity to be in her company. I can sleep later in the day.

When I get to the track Rose is already waiting for me. I smile as I greet her, and for the first time, she smiles back at me. My heart skips a beat, I'd nearly forgotten how her smile makes her whole face light up. We set off for our run and spend another hour in companionable silence.  
As we're done running and stretching our muscles I notice her checking her watch. She probably has to leave soon.  
"Thanks for the company, I hope you're not going to be late for work."  
"No it's my day off today," she says absentmindedly. It is? Then why was she out here so early?  
"Mine as well."  
"Ah yes, I forgot." Is that why she is here? She could've slept a bit longer and worked out later in the day. Unless.. she wanted to run together and thought I'd have to work so running early was my only option. Just the thought that she might look forward to these moments as much as I do makes me smile widely.

She looks a little unsure of what to do with herself now that we're done and I don't have to leave like I normally do. This is my chance to spend more time with her, and I'm not about to let it go to waste. I take a deep breath.  
"If you don't have to leave yet, would you like to spar? With me?"  
I'm not sure what her answer will be, but it's worth a shot. She thinks about it for a bit, before hesitantly answering.  
"Uhm, sure?"  
I can't believe she actually said yes.

We enter the gym and head for the far corner. It's relatively secluded and I would prefer not to have an audience at this time.  
We get into position, both a little flustered by the memories of doing this so many times back at the academy. I assume a defensive stance, allowing her to decide how to play this. We circle each other before she finally makes a move. I dodge both the fist directed at my shoulder and then her leg snaking out to tackle me, before ducking and trying to catch her by surprise with a low hit to her stomach.  
When she blocks me I freeze at the physical contact and Rose jumps back like she's been burned. I haven't touched Roza in a long time, and the force of it nearly knocks me off my feet.

From the expression on her face Rose is hit by a tidal wave of emotions as well. I'm about to suggest we should stop, but she's already on the offensive again. I move out of the way of her high kick, but she keeps coming. For the next 10 minutes she's throwing everything she's got at me, and all I can do is dodge and block before she moves on to the next kick or punch. I take a few hits and feel the power behind them, I can tell they're going to leave bruises. All Roza's training and her experience while hunting me is definitely paying off. She was already an excellent fighter when I was taken, but she's nearly unstoppable now.

I'm afraid that she'll injure herself if she keeps going like this, but I don't have an opportunity to stop her. We're both sweating and out of breath, but she still keeps going. Eventually she gets tired though and I finally see an opening. As she tries to swipe my legs from under me again, I decide to go along with it. I use her own speed against her and take her down with me, rolling on top of her and pinning her arms to the ground.

"Easy Rose, I don't want you to hurt yourself." I'm panting a little, but try to keep my voice calm and reasonable.  
"Shut up, I don't care what you want." She's hisses at me. I hear her voice break and that's when I notice her face is wet with tears.  
I loosen my grip slightly. "Roza, I'm sor..." I don't get to finish. She takes full advantage of the little space I gave her and forcefully brings up her leg, kneeing me hard in the groin. I roll to the side, unable to speak or really do anything for a moment. As soon as I've moved away, she jumps up and towers over me.  
"Don't call me Roza. Don't pretend you care. And don't you dare say you're sorry."

She strides away and I look after her. As I slowly stumble towards the changing room I consider everything that just happened. Up until now I actually thought things were going relatively well. Rose seemed okay with being around me, and a bit more lively than she did before. I thought she was improving and while I expected her to be mad at me the first few times we interacted, I no longer expected this kind of reaction from her now.

I knew I might not have a chance with Roza and my main goal was to get her out of the emotionless state she was in, to get her to feel something, anything really. But to be honest, anger wasn't quite the emotion I was hoping for.


	13. Chapter 12

**_I'm really happy to read all your reviews! Dream Walker's Obsession, I'm a little curious what Rose was thinking at the time as well. I've considered doing some one-shots from a different POV once I've finished the story, and that's definitely a scene I would consider doing._**

 _ **A day later than planned, but here's the next chapter. Note to self: Don't let your boyfriend take apart the computer to upgrade it before you double-checked if he's really got all the parts. Anyway, we were still missing some of Rose's friends, so guess who Dimitri is gonna run into ;)**_

 **Chapter 12**

 **DPOV**

I wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. After I left the gym yesterday I went back to my room and stayed there, not even leaving it to get food. I ran through everything that happened yesterday over and over again in my mind, and every time I felt worse. The image of Roza's tears is burned into my memory. She rarely cries, and knowing I'm the reason she did yesterday hurts. Eventually I tried to focus on the smile she gave me before running and I finally fell asleep.  
Apart from the emotional distress, there's also quite a bit of physical pain. Rose really is one hell of a fighter, I haven't had this many bruises since I graduated. I prefer not to think too much about the most painful injury she gave me, but walking is quite uncomfortable. Thankfully we're guarding the gates today so hopefully nobody will notice.

I'm a little slower than normal getting ready and once again Eddie is already waiting for me when I get outside.  
"Good morning Dimitri." He's in an excellent mood, I guess he enjoyed his day off. I briefly wonder if he still got to spend it with Mia.  
"Hey."  
Eddie looks me up and down, raising his eyebrow.  
"Bad day today? You're not looking too well."  
"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I'm not about to tell him Rose kicked my ass yesterday. He would probably enjoy that, and I wouldn't hear the end of it all day.  
"If you say so."  
"Let's just get going, or we'll be late."  
"Ah yes, I should be off. You're not joining me today though, that's why I was waiting for you here. You're to report to Hans as soon as possible."  
"Do you know why?"  
He shrugs. "No idea, so you best go and find out. I'll see you later."  
"Thanks Eddie."

When I enter headquarters I catch sight of Roza. She's sitting at her desk as usual, sorting through a stack of papers. She looks around as soon as the door closes behind me. There's no way she could've heard that from where she's sitting, she must have sensed my presence somehow. She glares at me before returning to work and I feel my shoulders slump. She has every right to be angry at me, but I still had some hope she got the worst of it out yesterday. It's going to be a lot harder to talk to her like this. I'll have to worry about that later though, Hans is standing at the door to his office and beckons to me when he sees me.

He closes the door behind us and we both sit down.  
"I have to say Belikov, I'm very pleased with the reports I've been receiving from Guardian Castile. You're never late, you listen to any order he gives you, you're respectful to him and the other guardians, and you pay attention to any detail, no matter what job you've been assigned. Basically you've got a perfect record ever since you've been partnered with him."  
"Thank you sir, I'm glad to hear Guardian Castile is satisfied with my work. I realize not many people would want to work with me and I appreciate his efforts. He's been nothing but helpful."  
"Good to know. I'm sure you'll be pleased to know he recommended you should be reinstated as a guardian and assigned a charge."

That's a surprise. We have been getting along better lately, and professionally I never gave Eddie any reason to doubt me, but I didn't expect him to support me like this.  
"In his opinion, it's a waste to have you following him around when a skilled fighter like yourself can be of more use protecting a Moroi. I'm inclined to agree with him. As of today, you are officially a guardian again."  
Wow, I definitely didn't see that coming. It was great to hear Eddie has faith in me, but I didn't expect Hans and the guardian council to go along. "That's great to hear, thank you."  
"You're welcome. I'm sure you'll understand not everybody is convinced this is a good idea yet, so you're on probation for the next month, after which we'll evaluate. If you do well, you will be be assigned a charge then. I've had two requests for you so it shouldn't be too much of an issue."  
"I understand. Might I ask who requested me?"  
"I've had a request to assign you to Princess Dragomir. The second request is from Tasha Ozera."

I consider this information. Chances of me being assigned to the Princess seem slim to none. but it's definitely the assignment I'd go for.  
It's good to know Tasha is finally going to get a guardian, but I would much prefer it not to be me. I still remember the offer she made me last year. She's a good friend, but that's it, and I would prefer not to be put in a position where she might hope for more. Also, she doesn't normally live at Court, which would make it impossible for me to see Roza.

"During your probation you're to be stationed at Court. For now I've assigned you to Princess Dragomir, you will protect her when she is here. She already has other guardians, they will protect her while she is at LeHigh. If you do well, I will try my best to get you assigned to her permanently. I know you were her guardian before and due to your restoration you're probably more dedicated to her than any other guardian out there."  
I'm astonished, it seems today is my lucky day. "Thank you Guardian Kroft, this is much more than I expected."  
"No problem Belikov. I firmly believe you're back to who you were, and I will support you in any way I can. Please remember it's not just up to me though."  
I nod at him, grateful for his trust.  
"Excellent, we're done here then. You start guarding the Princess tomorrow, but make sure you go see her somewhere in the afternoon to go over all the details. She's supposed to return somewhere around two o'clock."

* * *

At a quarter to two I make my way to Royal housing and the Princess' apartment. I knock at the door when I get there, knowing she probably won't be here yet but just making sure. To my surprise someone opens the door.  
It's not the Princess or one of her guardians though. Instead, I'm faced by none other than Christian Ozera.

"Ah if it isn't Lissa's favourite Russian. Come on in."  
He doesn't wait for my answer and disappears back into the apartment. I follow him just in time to see him drop down on the couch and continue the videogame he was apparently playing.  
"Princess Vasilisa isn't here yet?"  
"No they're running a little late, she'll probably be here in half an hour or so."  
I nod and move to stand at the wall, not wanting to get in his way.  
"Just sit down will you? Since I'm not going to be assigned a guardian anyway, I'd prefer not to get used to some creep acting invisible while hugging a wall."

For the next fifteen minutes Christian ignores me and I watch him play Grand Theft Auto. He seems to be enjoying himself, but finally he turns it off and starts talking to me.  
"So, why are you here?"  
"I've been assigned to guard the Princess while she's at Court, starting tomorrow. I came by to confer with her guardians, and to thank the Princess for getting me assigned to her."  
Christian snorts. "Really Belikov, does stupidity run in your family or is it a personal trait?"  
I know he isn't big on social skills, but that's rude even by his standards. Before I can answer a voice sounds from the doorway. "Christian!"  
He looks up, a smile on his face. "Hey Liss, glad you're back."  
"Hello Princess."  
She smiles gently at me. "Hello Dimitri, it's nice to see you. And Christian, you should apologize for what you just said."  
"Like hell I will."  
"Christian.."  
"No Liss, forget it. He now wants to thank you for his assignment as well. Which would be the decent thing to do, if you, you know, were actually the one who organized it."

Christian crosses his arms over his chest and sends me a dirty look. It doesn't bother me, I'm too busy dissecting his words. Vasilisa isn't the one who got me assigned as her guardian? Who else could have done it? Nobody else I know has that kind of influence, Christian must be mistaken.  
Vasilisa looks between the two of us and sighs, seeming resigned. She turns around and asks the guardians who followed her to leave the room, leaving just the three of us.  
"Christian, sit down. Dimitri, would you like something to drink?"  
"No thank you Princess."  
"Like I've told you before, please call me Lissa," she says gently. "We're friends after all."  
Christian mutters under his breath. "Speak for yourself."  
Vasilisa rolls her eyes at him and sits down opposite me.  
"It really is nice to see you again Dimitri, it's been a while. How have you been?"  
"I'm good. I just came by to thank you. I never expected to be a guardian again, let alone have a high-profile charge like yourself. It can't have been an easy thing to achieve."

The Princess shifts uncomfortably, not quite meeting my eye.  
"Hmm yes, well I'm sure it wasn't."  
I'm confused by her answer, shouldn't she of all people know how she managed it? "What do you mean?"  
Christian snorts again. "I'm going with personal trait. I don't believe anyone else can be this stupid."  
Vasilisa silences him with a look and then smiles at me. "Would you excuse us for a second? We'll be right back."  
I nod at her, still distracted by her earlier reply. She drags Christian out of the room, but not before he glares at me again.

I don't mean to eavesdrop, but apparently they didn't go far and while I can't hear Vasilisa, Christian isn't making an effort to keep his voice down.  
"Seriously, how can you stand this Liss? The whole eternal gratitude thing got old months ago, and you know it's hurt Rose's feelings. I love you and you're amazing, but I'm not going to sit here and listen to this jackass groveling at your feet, going on and on about how much he owes you. You should tell him the truth, at least about his assignment."  
I'm guessing the Princess answers him, because I don't hear anything for a bit. Then Christian talks again.  
"And I'm asking you to ignore that. Look at how she's been. If things were the other way around, do you think she would've allowed me to follow her around like a puppy without any regard to you? Do you think she would've taken credit for everything you did?"  
Again I can't hear Vasilisa's answer. It's clear to me Christian is talking about Roza, and he's right. If things had been the other way around, she would've set him straight in no time. I wonder why the Princess didn't tell me exactly what happened earlier. As far as I remember, she once told me Roza did a lot, but that's it. She never mentioned it again afterwards, and never corrected me when I said she saved me.  
"What she wanted was to have Dimitri back. Tell him Liss, or I will."  
This time the Princess doesn't lower her voice as much as she did earlier and I can hear her answer. "Fine!"

They both come back soon after. Vasilisa sits down again but Christian leans against the wall as far away from me as possible. I wonder if it's to keep his annoyance in check, or because he really can't stand to be near me. From what I just heard, he's not exactly my biggest fan.  
When Vasilisa starts talking I turn to her.  
"Dimitri, I'm not the one who requested you. The queen thought it would be better if we waited a few months, give everyone time to see you're no danger to us and let them move on to the next bit of news. Then she would talk to Guardian Croft to see if there was a way to reinstate you. I thought her plan made sense and thus didn't push the issue."  
It's a reasonable approach, I would've agreed to it as well. But if Vasilisa didn't do this, how did it happen?  
"Then, do you know how I got reinstated and assigned to you? I never expected anything more than patrols with my history, and even that seemed unlikely until very recently."

Christian snorts and both Vasilisa and I look in his direction.  
"How do you think genius?"  
Vasilisa scolds him. "Chris..."  
He ignores her completely, clearly out of patience. "Rose kept pestering Hans until he agreed."  
"It wasn't pestering. She just talked to him about it from time to time, trying to make him understand her point of view."  
He rolls his eyes at that. "That's kind of the definition of pestering Liss. Hans just gave in because he got annoyed with the daily interruptions. I mean, you know he didn't do it because he actually likes Rose."  
"Yes well.. He thinks she has authority issues."  
"I wonder where he got that idea..." I actually chuckle at that and for the first time since I came here, Christian looks at me approvingly. He reminds me so much of Roza sometimes. I realize I've missed the sarcastic comments I used to hear several times a day. And of course, he's got a point. I remember the way Rose responded to her teachers, and to me at first as well. Let's just say following orders without complaint wasn't high on her list of priorities back then either.  
"Will you just let me tell the story please Christian? You're not helping."  
"Fine, carry on and I'll just stand here, acting like a guardian. Seen and not heard, or not seen, whatever."  
Vasilisa rolls her eyes at him. "Thank you."

She turns back to me. "Hans might not like Rose, but he was impressed by the way she fought and followed orders on the rescue mission. She told him you were the one who taught her, that you're even better and that it'd be a waste to lose an excellent guardian when guardian numbers are already low. It took her a while, but eventually he agreed, and he came up with the idea of asking for a volunteer to work with you."  
She sighs. "That's when the next problem came up. While most guardians believe you're dhampir again, none of them was willing to work with you. And Hans wouldn't reinstate you without that. Eventually Rose convinced Eddie that it would be beneficial for him as well. If he hadn't agreed, she planned on asking her mother."  
I'm stunned. As far as I know, Rose has never asked her mother for help. Not that Janine has been around enough to give Rose the opportunity, but even if she had I'm sure it wouldn't have happened.  
"Eddie wasn't too happy about the whole thing. But you did everything you were told to and thus his reports were all positive. Hans had enough to convince the guardian council to put you back on active duty, they just didn't know where to put you."

"When Rose found out, she suggested you'd be assigned to me. Most were reluctant but considering the restoration and the way I supported you after, plus the devotion you showed towards me, Hans thought it was a good idea, as long as I agreed to it. Of course, before he had the chance to ask me, Rose had already come to see me. She explained the situation and asked me to say yes. I would have anyway, but I did tell her I was worried it might affect her chances of becoming my guardian again. She said there was no chance of that anyway with her bad record, and that she'd feel better if she knew I was well protected. In her opinion, the only one as capable of protecting me as she is, is you. You're the only person she trusted to keep me safe. She also said that after the support I showed you before, it'd look bad if I didn't want you as my guardian. It would look like I didn't trust you, and if I didn't, why would anyone else? So when Hans called me, I did as she asked."

Christian mumbles just loud enough for us to hear, "Well played Rosie."  
Vasilisa sends him an annoyed look, but I've got to agree with him. Even if Vasilisa had wanted to decline, there's no way she could have done it after those arguements. Rose knows how to play on her weaknesses.  
After everything I've found out lately, I guess it isn't too surprising to hear to what lengths Roza went for me this time. Sadly, she's right about her chances of being Vasilisa's guardian, but then again, I didn't think I had a chance either. If at some point in the future she is considered for the position, I'll step down to make room for her. Roza's done more than enough for me, I don't want to take her place. Until then, I'll do my very best to keep Lissa safe for her, it's the least I can do.

We're all quiet for a while. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Christian addresses Vasilisa in a gentle voice. "You should tell him the rest as well Liss."  
She smiles sadly. "Yes you're right."  
After taking a deep breath, she starts talking again. "Dimitri, you should know how your restoration really came about . While I was the one who wielded the stake, Rose is really the one who made it happen. Without her, I wouldn't have known how to do it, and you wouldn't be sitting here today."  
"I know."  
Both her and Christian seem surprised by this. Christian is the first to find his voice.  
"How did you find out?"  
"Over the past couple of months several people came to talk to me and told me about all the things Rose did to get me back."  
I adress my next question to Vasilisa. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

She looks down, not wanting to face me.  
"I wanted to but... I tried once, just after you were restored, but you were so broken at the time. Just the mention of Rose's name would upset you, and telling you how everything went down would mention both Rose and your Strigoi past an awful lot. I thought I would give you a while to recover, to come to terms with everything. When you were a bit more like your old self I would tell you. Christian told me it was a bad idea to wait, but I just couldn't cause you any more stress at the time."  
Lissa was just trying to look out for me, I can't blame her for that. I've been better for quite a while now though.  
"Why didn't you tell me later?"  
I have to strain to hear her soft answer. "Because by then Rose had asked me never to tell you. She didn't want you to know."  
"I.. She what?" I'm dumbfounded. Rose tried to tell me herself back when I was still in prison. What changed?

"I was going to tell you but then the queen was murdered and Rose had disappeared. When she came back she was different, very different. It wasn't until that point that I realized she wasn't okay after everything that happened. I mean, it's not really surprising or anything, but Rose has always been so strong."  
Lissa still isn't meeting my gaze and she looks ashamed. "I should have seen it sooner, but I was so busy helping you that I didn't even notice Rose was having a hard time. I told her to give you time and space, but I never considered how difficult that'd be for her. How much it hurt her when you pushed her away after everything she went through to save you. And rather than being there for her, being the best friend I'm supposed to be, I was checking up on you."

I feel guilty as well. I felt connected to Lissa after she restored me, she was the only person I felt safe with. I never considered how it would affect Rose that I was constantly requesting her best friend's attention though. I was in a bad place, but that doesn't excuse what I did. Yes I needed someone to be there for me, but I wasn't the only one.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put you in that situation."  
Lissa shakes her head. "It's not your fault Dimitri. I made that choice. Of course, the silly part is that Rose won't even blame me for it. She might've been upset at the time, but she didn't want me to leave you to fend for yourself either."

She sighs. "Anyway, you've seen her, you know how she's been. The only real reaction I got out of her in the past months, was when I told her you were doing better and I was going to tell you everything." Vasilisa stares off in the distance while she recounts the episode. "She begged me not to tell you. I asked her why but she wouldn't say, she just kept repeating that you didn't need to know. In the end I promised not to tell you, just to get her to calm down."  
"Why wouldn't she want me to know?"  
"I honestly don't know."

That's when Christian speaks up, sounding exasperated "Seriously? It's obvious isn't it?"  
I glance up at him and he's looking at me and Lissa like he's seeing us for the first time. Then he sighs dramatically and starts talking to me slowly, like he's explaining something to a toddler. "She did all that stuff because she loved you. She didn't want a thank you. She wanted your love, not your gratitude."  
Then he rolls his eyes, adds in his normal voice: "Idiot", and walks out of the room, leaving Lissa and myself behind in stunned silence.


	14. Chapter 13

_**Ohh so many reviews, thank you! Glad you liked my explanation for why Lissa kept quiet for so long. It's always bugged me that she acts that way and we don't know why.  
I read some things I'd like to adress myself, so this note is a bit longer than normal. Hope you don't mind!**_

 _ **Mixed opinions on Lissa, and I totally see where you guys are coming from. I personally think she's a genuinely nice person, and the times she acts out are more due to spirit-darkness than her actual personality. She does always strike me as imperceptive and maybe a little self-absorbed though. She never picked up on Rose's feelings for Dimitri for example, nor did she really see what the darkness was doing to Rose.  
I also think Lissa is very naive. So while Lissa definitely feels ashamed of herself for being a really (exceptionally) sucky best friend, I think she would truly believe Rose doesn't blame her for it. And robot-Rose really doesn't, although as you could read in the previous chapter, she never confided in Lissa either. As such, Lissa doesn't know about Dimitri's words in church and assumes the reason Rose is acting this way is because of the difficult time she was having in general.**_

 _ **guest: I suppose Rose is kind of acting like a doormat yes, though that's not quite the description I'd go for myself. This story is based on the assumption that Rose locked away all her emotions to be able to deal with Dimitri's rejection. That includes any anger she might've felt at Lissa for the way she behaved and thus she hasn't bitched at Lissa as much as she clearly deserves.  
This isn't the passionate, opiniated Rose we all know and love (yet ;)). She's pretty much an empty shell, and as such doesn't really care about anything, including the way people treat her.  
As for Rose still helping Dimitri while the only thing he deserves is to get his ass kicked.. It isn't a conscious decision on her part. After everything she's already done for him, helping him has just become a deeply ingrained habit. It's part of robot-Rose's programming so to speak, like training and being a guardian.  
**_ _As for your other questions. Yes, Ariana Szelsky was elected Queen. You can read about it in chapter 4. I don't plan on Jill being part of this story._

 ** _Of course, real Rose might feel completely different about all this stuff. I'm sure we'll find out ;)_**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

 **DPOV**

After Christian leaves, I don't stay at Vasilisa's place much longer. We don't have anything left to talk about and after sitting there in complete silence for a couple of minutes, I get restless. I quickly arrange my shifts with her guardians and go home. I think we're both a little out of it after the things Christian said, at least I am. It's sad to know that in this situation, he understands Roza much better than both her best friend and supposed love-of-her-life do.  
I used to know how Roza felt about most things, just like she could read me better than anyone else I know. I've been a little too focussed on drawing her out and haven't concerned myself enough with the reasons behind her actions. I'll try not to make that mistake again.

At the very least, this afternoon made two things very clear to me. First of all, my Roza might be hidden but she's definitely there somewhere. The new Rose doesn't seem to care much about anything, yet according to Lissa she panicked when she thought I'd be told the whole story. Combined with the way she reacted when we sparred, I'd say she definitely has some feelings for me. Whether good or bad remains to be seen.  
Secondly, the only way I'll have another chance with Roza is if I can get her to truly believe I love her. Christian is right, she doesn't want my gratitude. She wanted my love, and though she doesn't know it, I do love her more than anything. Not because of what she did for me, but because she's Roza. I loved her before I was turned, and I've loved her since I was restored. I was just too stupid to realize it.

* * *

I'm not looking forward to my first shift as Vasilisa's guardian. After the conversation we had, I'm a little embarrassed about the way I've been acting around her in recent months. I have actually been groveling and following her around like a puppy, and it's very unlike me. I hope, now that everything is out in the open, we can return to a more normal relationship, whether as guardian and charge or as actual friends.

As I arrive at her apartment, I take my time talking to the guardian who was here all night, before finally heading inside. I find Christian in the kitchen, making breakfast, while Vasilisa is at the table watching him.  
"Hello Dimitri."  
"Morning Guardian Genius, would you like some pancakes?"  
"Good morning Vasilisa, Christian. And yes, I would like some pancakes, thank you."  
Christian looks at me in mock astonishment. "Oh.. My.. God.. we're making progress here! You've made an important decision without Lissa's guidance. I would applaud you, but considering the fact that I'm holding a bowl of batter, that's probably not a good idea."  
I should've known he wouldn't let me off easily.  
"No probably not, unless you're the maid as well as the chef. In that case, it would actually be smart to make sure you've got something to do later."

I'm surprised by my own reply. Normally I would ignore a comment like that, and I'm unsure what made me retaliate this time. It could be because his comment is a little too close to my earlier thoughts. Maybe it's because I can imagine Rose saying something like it, in which case I would reply. I don't get to consider my reasons, because Christian laughs out loud.  
"Look who's found a sense of humor overnight. It's not quite as useful as common sense, but in your case, any sense at all is an improvement."  
Vasilisa scolds him gently while trying to keep her composure. "Christian, be nice please."  
"Ahw Liss, don't shoot us down. I think Belikov was showing some real promise."  
She smiles, indulgently shaking her head at him before turning to me. "There's still some coffee left if you'd like some."  
"Thank you."

I grab a cup of coffee and sit down at the table as well. Christian hands me a plate stacked with pancakes and blueberries. I was afraid Vasilisa and Christian would be uncomfortable around me. Surprisingly though, the atmosphere is actually quite relaxed. Christian seems to have loosened up a little, whether because he finally got to tell me what an idiot I am or because of my joke I don't know. He'll probably still insult me every chance he gets, but at least he has stopped glaring at me.

The rest of the day passes quickly. I accompany Vasilisa to a meeting with the Queen, who greets me cordially before informing the Princess about the topics currently under discussion in the Council. As I understand it, the quorum-law will be changed within the next month, after which she will be expected to attend Council meetings and vote as well. I tune out, watching our surroundings but not paying close attention to their conversation. The information isn't meant for me, and as guardians we quickly learn not to listen too closely.  
The meeting takes all morning. We meet Christian for lunch at one of the cafe's before I follow Vasilisa to the hairdresser's. Her hair looks fine to me, but if Vasilisa is to be believed, she's in desperate need of a haircut. The rest of the afternoon we spent at her apartment as she's still got a lot of reading to do before her classes next week.

As the hours pass, I notice Vasilisa is becoming a little restless. She starts biting her nails and I'm about to inquire if she's alright, but Christian shows up and distracts her. It doesn't take too long before she brings it up herself though.  
"Uhm Dimitri?"  
"Yes Vasilisa, is there anything I can do for you?"  
"No no, I just wanted to let you know we'll be having a guest for dinner."  
I wonder who she invited to make her this nervous, but it's none of my business. "Of course. I'll stay in here so you can have some privacy. I'll be close if you need me."  
"Oh no, that's not what I meant. You can join us, actually, I expect you to. It's just.."  
"Yes?"  
"Well.."  
Her voice fades away and she looks at Christian for help.  
"Lissa invited Rose over for dinner. She'll be here around six. Now if you two will excuse me, I should probably get started or there'll be nothing to eat."

I'm in turmoil. I'd love to see Rose, but I'm not sure how she'll feel about me being here. Not to mention the last time I saw her, she tried to beat the hell out of me. After a few minutes of going back and forth, I decide to just ask Vasilisa. "Does Rose know I'm here?"  
"I didn't really mention it, but she knows you've been assigned as my guardian so she probably expects you to be here."  
That's a no then. I don't think it's a good idea to force Rose to be in the same room with me, but I don't know how to explain that to Vasilisa without telling her everything that happened lately. "Are you sure it's a good idea for me to join you Vasilisa? You should enjoy your time with Rose and I don't think she'll want to see me."  
"I'm sure it'll be fine Dimitri."  
I can only hope Vasilisa is right. I'm on duty so I can't leave, and Rose will be here soon.

* * *

I'm in the kitchen, helping Christian, when I hear a knock at the door and Rose's voice floats in soon after. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself, which does absolutely nothing except earn me a curious look from Christian. He hasn't said much since I joined him, only asking me to prepare some ingredients while he does most of the cooking.  
Vasilisa and Rose walk in soon after and as soon as Roza notices me, she freezes, an unreadable expression on her face. At first I think it's the same emotionless mask I've often seen on her recently, until I see her narrow her eyes slightly. Vasilisa doesn't notice and chooses that moment to mention me.  
"Dimitri is on duty today so he'll be joining us for dinner as well."  
Rose doesn't reply but only nods, following Lissa to the table without sparing me another glance.  
"Not much of a reply. She's still as detached as the last time I saw her," Christian mumbles next to me. I'm not sure if he meant for me to hear, but I can't answer without risking the girls overhearing us, so I can't tell him he's wrong.

In the end I don't need to tell Christian anything, because it doesn't take long before he notices the change in Rose himself.  
It's minor things at first. Christian sits down next to Vasilisa so I take the chair next to Roza. She doesn't respond openly, but I can see her moving her chair just a little bit further away. She answers any questions Vasilisa and Christian ask her, but when I ask her if she would like another glass of water, she pretends not to hear me. When we both reach for the salad bowl at the same time, she snatches her hand away like she's been burned, though I didn't actually touch her.

Halfway through dinner her mask begins to slip. I've been sneaking glances whenever I get the chance, and eventually Roza catches me looking at her and stares me down. I remember Abe doing the same thing just last week, but he wasn't nearly as intimidating as his daughter. I look away, not wanting to annoy her further, and see Christian watching us with a slight frown on his face. He catches my eye as if looking for an explanation, but I shake my head. He'll probably corner me later to find out what that was about, but for now I'm just hoping we'll make it through dinner without any problems.

We actually make it to dessert without any complications. Up until now Vasilisa has kept the conversation going and Rose has only given yes or no answers. Apparently that's more or less what Lissa expected, because she keeps telling stories about her time at LeHigh, what their friends have been upto, the general events at Court. I'm just starting to think this night will end well when Lissa runs out of things to talk about and turns to me.  
"I forgot to ask you, how was your visit to your family recently?"  
"It was good, thank you." Rose stiffens next to me and I can understand why. She's met my family. She was the one who told them I had been turned and witnessed their grief.  
"You went back to Russia?"  
"Yes."  
"How was everyone?" Lissa looks between me and Rose, surprise and a little excitement on her face. This is the first time Rose has shown any interest since she's been here.  
"They were great. They all asked me to say hi. Mark, Oksana and Denis asked about you as well."  
"Did they? Well it's nice to know someone cares how I've been."

My heart drops. There's no emotion when Rose says this, but the words themselves indicate she thinks we don't care about her. Before I can say anything, Lissa hurries to reassure her.  
"We all care how you're doing Rose. I care, you're like my sister."  
Rose looks at her. "Really?"  
"Of course, how could you doubt that?" Lissa sounds hurt.  
"Well, you weren't there when I needed you most. You are willing to try and help someone else get their life back, but you don't do anything to improve mine. And I asked you to make me a promise, but the very first time you're confronted about it, you instantly break it."  
Rose's voice is completely blank, like she's simply stating some facts. She didn't raise her voice once, but Lissa recoils after every accusation, staring at Rose wide-eyed. Christian is speechless as well, though I can see his mind working and I know he'll speak up soon if I don't.

"Rose, I..."

She whirls on me and her emotionless facade is gone. Anger and pain are radiating from her when she speaks to me. "I told you, don't pretend you care. I don't even know why you keep trying to talk to me, you made yourself perfectly clear when you told me you gave up on me." Her voice breaks, but she pulls herself together instantly and continues, her voice rising. "I already gave you everything I've got, what more do you want from me?"  
Without thinking, I answer her question instantly.  
"I want you! I don't care about any of the other stuff. I just want you Roza, I love you."

It's not until after the words leave my mouth that I realize she wasn't expecting an answer. The whole room seems to have frozen. Roza stares at me, mouth open, for at least half a minute. I'm just starting to hope she believes me when she slaps me across the face. She hisses at me. "You think that's what I want? You think you'll make everything better if you pretend to love me?"  
"I'm not pre.." She doesn't let me finish.  
"Spare yourself the trouble, I don't want to hear it. I'm leaving."  
She gets up and is almost out of the kitchen when she turns around one more time.  
"By the way Sparky, I would be careful around these two if I were you. Stupidity might be a personal trait, but it seems to be contagious."

I should have realized as soon as she mentioned Lissa's promise. Rose was there, she witnessed all of yesterday's conversation through the bond.

* * *

After the door slams shut behind Rose, Christian is the first to find his voice.  
"Well, that wasn't quite the dinner conversation I expected."  
Vasilisa and I don't answer. I'm not sure about her, but I'm incapable of anything but replaying Rose's words in my head. I'm not surprised by her anger at me. I already knew it was there after our sparring session, and her attitude towards me all through dinner just proved the point. I can't believe she actually thinks I would pretend to love her though. I know I haven't given her a lot of reasons to trust me lately, but Rose knows me well enough to know I don't lie to make people feel better.

The pain in her voice and the look on her face hurt me more than anything. I am the reason she's feeling this way. It's my fault, and mine alone. Perhaps that's the reason she's willing to believe I'd stoop to pretending. She doesn't think she knows me anymore, or at least she doesn't know the person I became after my restoration. I feel a lot more like my old self now, but Rose has no way of knowing that. Even if she did though, it doesn't change the things I've said and done, and she's right to be angry at me.

"Liss, I'm sure it'll be okay. Give Rose some time. A lot of shit happened to her in the past year, and you can't expect her to just move on from all that without a second thought."  
As Christian talks to her, I look up to see Vasilisa staring down at the table, silently crying. When she answers, I'm surprised to hear not just hurt, but also anger in her voice.  
"I... I don't deserve this.. I've always been her friend, how can she talk to me like that?"  
Christian wraps an arm around her to comfort her and she leans into him. He looks at me uncomfortably, and I can tell his thoughts are similar to mine. The things Rose said might've been painful, but they weren't undeserved.

"Vasilisa, I think we both needed to hear how Rose feels, how we made her feel."  
She looks up at me in shock. Christian keeps his arm around her, pulling her a little closer, as he nods.  
"Dimitri is right Liss. Just think about it. Yesterday you said yourself you weren't there for Rose, that you didn't even know she was having a hard time."  
"But she said she didn't blame me for it, that she wanted me to help Dimitri!"  
"Yes, but we both know Rose hasn't been acting like herself for quite a while. You've known her since kindergarten. Has she ever given anyone an easy time about hurting her before?"  
"Well no.. but I thought.. I am her best friend.. I thought she knew I didn't do it to hurt her, I was just trying to help."  
"I'm sure she knows that Princess. But just because we do something with the right intentions, doesn't mean it can't hurt anyone."

As I say the last words, I can just imagine Roza rolling her eyes at me, saying something about zen-lessons. This time the lesson doesn't apply to her, or even Vasilisa really. It's about me. I thought I pushed Roza away for all the right reasons. I was damaged and she shouldn't be around me. I did awful things to her when I was Strigoi and I felt like I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't hurt her again. I didn't know if I could love again and even if I did, I wouldn't deserve it, so she needed to move on to someone more worthy of her.  
Looking back, it doesn't matter what my reasons were. The only thing that matters is that I hurt Rose.  
"Are you okay Dimitri?" I didn't realize I've been quiet for a long time until Vasilisa talks to me. She's looking at me with compassion, and that's when I feel something on my cheek. I hastily wipe away the tear I didn't know was there.  
"Yes."  
We all know I'm not telling the truth, but Christian and Vasilisa don't push me. I'm thankful for their restraint. I'm sure they'll have more questions for me though, and Christian gets straight to the point.

"What did Rose mean exactly, about you giving up on her?"  
I knew this question was coming. It's the first question I would've asked as well.  
"After I was restored I wasn't myself. I felt depressed about everything I had done, especially everything I'd done to Rose. You know she tried to see me several times and I pushed her away. The only thing I seemed to feel was guilt and I didn't think I was capable of love anymore."  
I take a deep breath. "I decided Rose was better off without me in her life. The next time she cornered me was in church. She kept telling me that she loved me, that she wouldn't give up on me, so I did the only thing I could think of to keep her away. I told her I had given up on her and my love had faded."  
I hear Vasilisa's gasp but I'm looking at Christian. He's pensive, like he's trying to work something out. Eventually he does.  
"That's why she's been like this isn't it?"  
"Yes, it is. It's my fault entirely."

I expect them to be angry at me, I hurt their friend after all. But Christian just shakes his head.  
"You really fucked up Dimitri." Apparently he can't even think of anything sarcastic to throw at me. I nod, not needing him to tell me what I already know.  
Vasilisa waits a few moments before hesitantly speaking up. "But you just told Rose you love her. Do you?"  
"I do. I actually never stopped loving her, it just took me a long time to work through the guilt. I've only recently realized my love for her has been there all this time, but I'm afraid it's too late."  
"Of course it's not too late, I'm sure you can work things out." I shake my head. I wish I could believe Vasilisa's words, but lately she's been no better at assessing Rose's feelings than I have.  
There's a knock on the door before another guardian walks into the room, putting an end to our conversation. My shift is over and he'll be taking over for the night.  
"Thank you for dinner Vasilisa, Christian. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Goodnight Dimitri."

Christian gets up. "I'll walk you out." That's unexpected. When we're at the door, he steps out of the apartment with me, closing the door behind him.  
"I think Lissa might be right."  
"About what?"  
"I don't think it's too late for you and Rose either." I look at Christian in disbelief, is he joking? He saw the way Rose responded to me, didn't he?  
"This isn't the first arguement I've had with Rose in the past few days. We sparred a few days ago, and that didn't turn out well either. I still have the bruises to show for it."  
To my surprise, Christian chokes back a laugh. "Do you now? Little Rosie kicked your ass?"  
I grumble. "If she hears you calling her that, I'm sure you're next." That earns me an outright laugh.  
"Nah, I'll just tell her I caught some stupidity from you, I'll be fine. But anyway, she lashed out at you twice within a couple of days right? After months of no emotion whatsoever, don't you think that's a good thing?"  
"It is. I just wish she'd feel more than anger and pain towards me."  
"Well it's not like you don't deserve it. But if she didn't have any feelings for you, she wouldn't feel hurt either."

I consider his words. "I hope you're right Christian. Thank you."  
"No problem, I hope you manage to fix things. I'll deny it if anyone asks me of course, but I actually miss Rose. Things are incredibly boring without her crazy plans."  
I smile. Christian will never admit it to it, but somewhere along the way he and Rose became friends and he truly cares for her. I'm glad to know she's got someone like him on her side. "You've got my word, I won't tell anyone."  
"Excellent. Well goodnight Guardian Genius, I best go and comfort Lissa."

* * *

As I walk across Court towards guardian housing, I remember something babushka once said. A few days after I beat up my father, I walked past my mother's bedroom and heard her crying. I was debating whether to go in and comfort her or not when I heard Yeva's voice behind me. "Let her be Dimka, she needs to grieve on her own."  
"But why babushka? Why is she still crying over him?"  
"It's the people we love who have the ability to hurt us the most boy. You will understand one day."  
And she was right. I truly didn't understand what she meant at the time, but today I do. I feel pain at the realization that the same saying that applied to my father, now applies to me. I'm not my father though. He hurt my mother because he could, because he wanted to. I hurt Rose because I actually thought she'd be better off without me.

I banish the thoughts about my father from my mind as quick as I can and focus on Yeva's actual words. Is it possible Rose is still this hurt by my actions, because deep down she still loves me?

* * *

 _ **Author's note: I think this chapter is a bit depressing and perhaps a little OOC for Dimitri, but I hope you guys don't mind. I felt like some things needed to be said. And at least Christian got some more time to shine ;)**_


	15. Chapter 14

_**Thank you all so much! Your reviews really make me want to keep going, and I'm so glad you think I'm getting the characters right.  
Anyway, I finished this chapter early, and I thought it was mean to keep you guys waiting till Tuesday, so enjoy!**_

 ** _Characters and original story are of course still not mine but Richelle Mead's._**

 **Chapter 14**

 **DPOV**

It's been three days since that faithful dinner and I haven't seen Roza once. I go running every morning but I never see her at the track, or in the gym when I go there after work. When I guard Vasilisa during the day, I keep an eye out whenever we walk around Court, but so far no luck there either. When I ran into Eddie I asked him if he saw Rose, but he told me he's been patrolling every day so he hasn't really seen anyone.  
I'm trying to think of ways to show her I truly love her, but even if I could think of something, it's going to be useless if I don't actually see her.

Working hasn't done much to take my mind of Rose either. Vasilisa has been upset and keeps trying to talk to me. It's not that I don't want to talk about Roza, because I do, but Vasilisa is mainly focussed on her own problems with Rose. It took her a while to accept that Rose isn't being unreasonable and that she has good reason to be unhappy with Lissa. At first she kept trying to justify the way she behaved. Now that she's accepted she hasn't been the friend Rose needed, she's beating herself up over every little thing that happened.

Surprisingly, Christian is the person who makes my shifts bearable. He does his best to cheer Vasilisa up and take her mind of Rose. When Lissa is busy, he occasionally invites me to play videogames with him. He still insults me every chance he gets, but now that I've relaxed a bit, I usually come up with some decent reply that makes him laugh. Even Vasilisa has occasionally been amused by our exchanges.

* * *

I wake up, not to my usual alarm, but to my phone ringing. I hurry to answer the call, thinking it has to be an emergency at this time of day.  
"Belikov."  
"Petrov. I hope I didn't wake you?" There's a call I didn't expect. The last time I spoke to Alberta was in the caves, just before I was taken.  
"It's fine, I was just about to get up to go for a run. I've got to work in an hour and a half."  
She sounds relieved. "Good, then you've got time to talk. What happened to Rose?"  
"What do you mean? Did something happen to her? I haven't seen her in days! What's wrong? Where is she?" I'm frantic. I jump out of bed while talking and start looking for my clothes.  
"Calm down Dimitri, that's not what I meant."  
I sit back down on the bed, trying to slow my breathing. "Thank god. But then, why did you call?"  
"We're a little short on staff this week and the next. I prefer not to put anyone on double shifts if I don't have to, so I asked Croft if he had any guardians to spare. He sent Rose here a few days ago to help us out." So that's where Roza went. No wonder nobody has seen her, I should've considered the possibility that she simply wasn't at Court.  
"We're all happy to see her, only, well she isn't quite like the Rose we remember. There's something wrong with her. I was hoping you could enlighten me."

Before Rose showed up at St. Vladimirs this week, Alberta probably didn't see her since graduation. My restoration was big news so I'm sure she heard about that, but otherwise, the guardians at the Academy don't usually hear much about Court's day to day life. The Academy is it's own little world, with it's own pecking order and gossip. It's unlikely she'll have heard anything about the way I behaved towards Rose, or how she's been lately.  
"She's been this way for quite some time, months really. To be honest, it's a long story Alberta, and I'm not sure this is the best way to tell you."  
"I thought you might say something like that. We're still short on staff and I asked Croft and he's willing to send you over here, as long as Lissa can spare you. We could use the help, and you could tell me what's going on in person."  
"I'll check and call you back in a few hours. Lissa has some papers due and will mostly be staying at LeHigh for the next two weeks. I'm only her guardian at Court at the moment, so I expect it won't cause any problems."  
"I'll be awaiting your call then. Thank you Dimitri, I appreciate it."  
She ends the call before I can answer, which is probably a good thing. She might not be as appreciative when she finds out I'm the reason for Rose's uncharacteristic behaviour.

As I expected, Lissa immediately agrees to my absence and calls Hans to confirm it. I get a flight for early tomorrow morning, which is just as well since I still have to work today. Time passes slowly. Vasilisa is studying and Christian spends most of the day out of doors. When my shift is finally finished and I'm about to leave, Lissa and Christian both wish me luck. As I walk out the door, I can hear someone following me, and I turn around to find Christian standing behind me.  
"Let me know how Rose is, will you?"  
"Will do."  
"Oh, and you might wanna do something about your hair."  
I lift a hand and run my fingers through my hair. I was in such a rush this morning to get Lissa's approval that I apparently forgot to brush it. I can't believe they let me walk around like this all day. Christian grins at me.  
"I can only speculate on why Rose fell for you in the first place, but since you've been such an idiot, I'm assuming it must have something to do with your appearance. If you want to win her back, and get her to forget how stupid you've been, I suggest you try and look your best."  
"Thanks Christian for sharing your knowledge on wooing a girl. I always wondered how you made Vasilisa fall for you, but now I finally understand why you spend an hour in front of the mirror every morning."  
His mouth falls open before he breaks into laughter. "Ah you're growing on me Guardian Genius. Seriously though, good luck with Rose. I hope you can work things out."  
"I hope so too. See you when I get back."

* * *

Returning to the academy is more difficult than I had imagined. I'm assaulted by memories as soon as I pull up to the gates. Around this time last year I did the same thing, only this time I'm not escorting two teenage runaways. I smile as I recall Roza's defiance at the time. She sure was a handful, probably the worst rulebreaker the Academy had in years. I'm sure she's also the most talented student who came through here in a long time though. In some ways, I'd give anything to go back to that day and start over. Looking back, there's so many things I would've done differently. At the same time though, I would never give up on the time I did get to spend with Roza over the past year. I can only hope she'll give me another chance to make up for my mistakes.

The guardian at the gates recognizes me and, after shooting me a curious look, allows me to drive through. Recently people at Court seem to have lost interest in me, but here at the Academy nobody has seen me since I was taken. I'm probably going to have to get used to being stared at again.  
Alberta is waiting for me in the parking lot. She hasn't changed, and as I get out of the car, I'm once again struck by the familiarity of this scene.  
"It's good to see you Alberta."  
She looks me up and down before surprising me by giving me a hug. "I'm glad to see you alive and well Dimitri. I never expected to see you again."

We both ignore the possibility that she could've run into me as a Strigoi. As guardians, there's always a chance of being faced by a twisted version of someone we once knew. It's a possibility we prefer not to mention. We tell ourselves, and our students, that if it does happen, they are not the person they once were. If there was anything left of the person you knew, they'd be thankful if you set them free.  
Having been Strigoi, I can only confirm the truth of that statement. Looking back, I can see now how different I really was. How I did things, hurt and killed people, that I never would have done had I been myself. If Rose hadn't found a way to save me, I can only hope someone would have killed me. It's still difficult to imagine fighting someone like Alberta though.

Alberta leads the way to her office. As soon as we enter she invites me to sit and pours us both a cup of coffee.  
"I hope you don't mind, but I thought we could talk first and you could go to your room after. I've got a class to teach soon so I won't have any time later."  
"That's fine. And just let me know what I can do to help while I'm here."  
"Thank you, I appreciate it. Several royal students had to leave the school for a family wedding abroad, and as they're in the care of the Academy we had to send guardians with them, leaving us severely understaffed."  
I had already been wondering why they were short on staff. It's common knowledge that security has been increased after the attack here. Extra guardians have been stationed at all the academies to prevent such a breach from happening again. In the end though, if royal Moroi need protection, that takes precedence.  
"No problem, I'm happy to help."

"Good. Then you can start by telling me how Rose ended up in this state." Alberta gets straight to the point. I'm not sure how much she knows, so I'm considering where to start when she speaks up again.  
"You don't need to tell me all the details of what went on during your training, I'd prefer to be able to deny I was aware of what was going on."  
I'm in shock. "You knew?"  
She sighs. "Yes Dimitri, I knew. Or rather, I had my suspicions after Lissa's abduction. I was fairly certain after Spokane, and Rose's behavior after you were taken confirmed it."  
All those months I tried to keep my feelings hidden, I even considered leaving the Academy. I told Roza we couldn't be together because nobody could find out, and now it turns out Alberta knew all along?  
"Why didn't you call me out?"  
"If your feelings had interfered with teaching Rose, I would have asked you to step aside. But to be honest, I thought you might be good for each other. After you started training her, I noticed you were happier and you opened up more. As for Rose, you seemed to calm her down, to ground her, and she seemed happier as well. I thought you both deserved that. Rose hasn't had an easy childhood, and I never expected her to connect to someone like she did to you. I'm sure you know how rare it is for a guardian to have a chance at love. I wasn't going to ruin that, so I kept quiet."  
"Thank you Alberta." And I truly am thankful. Keeping quiet goes against several of the rules she's supposed to enforce. If someone had found out, I wouldn't have been the only person out of a job. If she had interfered, I wouldn't have had the chance to spend all that time with Roza.

"Don't mention it. Now, why don't you tell me what happened after you were saved. I would've asked Rose, but she burst into tears when I mentioned you, so I thought it best to let her be for now."  
"She did?"  
Alberta seems confused by my answer. "Yes. I thought you said she was acting strangely at Court in the past few months as well?"  
"She was, but not like that. She's been emotionless, she closed herself off from everyone around her. Isn't she still doing that?"  
"No, I definitely wouldn't describe Rose as emotionless, quite the opposite actually. She tries to hide it, but I have seen her cry one or two other times. She's also lashed out at some students who were joking about Strigoi. I've seen her at the gym early in the morning or late at night, pushing herself like she's being chased by the devil."  
She sighs. "Don't get me wrong, Rose has been an excellent example for the students, teaching them what she knows, but she's not the Rose I remember. Even Stan mentioned the difference to me yesterday. He ran into Rose and said something rude about never being rid of her. Rather than bitch at him, he said he could've sworn he saw her lip tremble before she walked away."

I'm stunned. When Alberta mentioned Rose behaving abnormally, I expected the same thing I saw at Court. This is a whole different situation that I didn't see coming.  
"Please just tell me what happened Dimitri. I want to know if there's anything I can do to help Rose."  
"It's a very long story Alberta, if you want to hear all of it I'll have to tell you another time. For now, I'll give you the short version. Rose saved me, in more ways than one, and I didn't appreciate that the way I should have. After what I did as Strigoi, I thought she was better off without me and I pushed her away. She thinks I don't love her anymore, and she's been in a near robotic state for months."

Alberta swears under her breath. "Damnit! I thought it had something to do with you, but this is not what I expected. If you're the reason she's like this, it would probably be best if you return to Court as soon as possible."  
"Actually, I would prefer to stay as long as Rose is here. It might not seem like it to you, but if Rose has been as emotional as you mentioned, that's a clear improvement."  
Her reply is icy. "You will have to explain how Rose crying is an improvement Belikov, because I really don't see it. Rose Hathaway doesn't usually cry."  
"Nor does she normally keep everything in when she's upset. I'm no happier with myself than you are Alberta, but I'm not leaving. Rose didn't show any emotion until last week, when she got angry at me twice. If being angry at me is what she needs to open up again, I'll be here for that. Me sitting at Court while Rose is here isn't going to help either of us."  
Alberta considers this for a moment before giving in. "Fine, stay. But you had better be right Dimitri. If Rose gets worse because of your presence, I will make sure you're on the first flight back to Court, and I'll offer Rose a permanent position here, away from you."

* * *

It turns out my old room was still unoccupied so I make my way to the familiar place. It's strangely empty as I enter. I didn't have much possessions to begin with, but without even those the room seems bleak. I check the schedule Alberta gave me. The school day is almost finished, and she didn't need me for anything today, so I unpack and get some dinner. I see a few familiar faces in the guardian lounge and they all greet me, asking me how I've been and if I want to join them. I'm surprised by their acceptance. Of course, unlike the Moroi and guardians at Court, they knew me before I was turned, but I still expected them to be wary around me.

As soon as I finish dinner, I return to my room, put on some workout clothes, grab my western and head for the gym. According to Alberta, Rose has been in here late at night. I didn't see her in the lounge earlier, so this is as good a place as any to wait. I find one of my old CDs near the stereo so I turn it on, sit down on a mat and pull out my western.  
It's a good story, but I've read it several times so it doesn't require my full attention. I have just turned a page when I hear the door opening. I decide to continue reading. If it's Rose, and I think it is, this gives her some time to compose herself. If she needs composing that is. If not, she could use this time to plan her attack on me, in which case I'm sure I'll regret not responding instantly.

I'm almost at the bottom of the page when I hear her voice.  
"What the hell are you doing here? Seeing as Stan didn't send me to Kirova for standing at the back of his classroom all day, I'm assuming I didn't accidentally travel back in time."  
I look up to see her standing a few yards away, arms crossed and glaring at me. Her attitude is about as unfriendly as it can get, apart from outright attacking me, but I can't help but smile.

The attitude, the comment.. that's my Roza right there.


	16. Chapter 15

_**Yes, Rose is back! Or well, she's acting a lot more like her old self at least, we can't expect her to be completely okay yet. I'm glad you guys like my decision to get them to return to St. Vlad's though.**_

 _ **The Academy, real Rose, the rest of the characters and the original story are Richelle Mead's of course.**_

 **Chapter 15**

 **DPOV**

"Hello Rose."  
She doesn't stop glaring at me. "I asked you what you were doing here."  
"Same as you, Alberta needed help and asked me to come." Technically it's the truth, it's just not my primary reason for being here.  
"Really? Alberta needed help in the gym at ten in the evening? I can assure you she never asked me anything like that."  
"Rose..."  
She continues like I haven't spoken. "But you know, don't let my presence get in the way of whatever you're upto. I know how you like to use the gym for some meaningless flirtations, I just never expected it to be Alberta this time."  
"ROSE!" I suddenly realize I'm standing. I must've jumped up at some point, though I don't remember doing so.  
"What?!"

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I know Rose is upset and hurting because of me, but she really does know how to push the limits of my self-control. Hearing her dismiss everything that happened between us as meaningless, even if she's just lashing out at me, hurts me more than words can express.  
"That's not what I meant and you know it. And what we had wasn't meaningless."  
"Wasn't it?"  
"No, it wasn't."  
Rose is only a few feet away. We're both breathing heavily and the air around us is charged as we stand opposite each other. I wish I could pull her in my arms, kiss her and tell her how much I love her, but at this point that would probably only make things worse and earn me another knee to the groin.

After a few minutes of silence we've both calmed down a little and Rose speaks again. "So why are you here, in the gym?"  
"Alberta told me you sometimes come here late at night, and I hoped to see you."  
"Well now you have, so are you leaving?"  
"Can we talk, please?"  
"I don't want to talk to you."  
"You don't have to say anything, just please hear me out?"  
She shakes her head. "I wanted to talk to you months ago and you didn't think it was necessary. I think we're well past the point where talking would make a difference."

My blood runs cold. Is she saying there's no chance for us anymore, that we're truly done? As the meaning of her words hits me I can feel some of my strength leaving me and my shoulders drop. It's too late, I'm too late. I've lost my chance at happiness with Roza and it's all my fault.  
I don't recognize my own voice as I tell her: "Of course, I'll leave you to it. I just hope you know.. I love you Roza, and I'm so very sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me."  
I see something shift in her expression, but I don't stick around to find out what it means. I'm desperately trying to keep a hold on my emotions as I rush out of the gym. It's not until I'm halfway back to my room that I realize I'm crying.

I let myself fall on my bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes. I can't process what just happened. Roza didn't really tell me we were done, did she? She can't have done, or at least she can't have meant it. I very much hope she didn't mean it. But what if she did? I can't live without her. But what if she meant it?  
My thoughts keep going in circles for what feels like hours. Eventually I calm down a little and I manage to think a bit more clearly. Roza didn't actually flatout say that we were done, though her words certainly point in that direction. I can't blame her for not wanting to talk to me. She's right, she did try all those months ago and at the time I wouldn't give her a chance to say what she needed to say. Is this how she felt when I wouldn't listen to her? When I told her I had given up on us?

If this is how Rose felt, I can understand why it must've felt like a relief to her to simply lock away all her emotions. Thinking I've lost her forever is agonizing, and that's without her actually telling me word for word, like I did to her. I might not be able to ever make this up to Roza, but I still need to find a way to get her to hear me out. It might or might not make a difference, but at the very least it might bring her some understanding and closure, and I owe her that. Perhaps I could write her a letter, though there's no guarantee she wouldn't just burn it rather than read it. I'll have to think about this, there has to be a way.

The sound of soft footsteps outside my room breaks through my thoughts. They seem to pause outside my door and my heart jumps a little, what if it's Rose? But as I get up and open the door, there is nobody to be seen. My mind must be messing with me, it was probably just one of the other guardians returning from a late shift.  
I get back in bed and try to fall asleep. I'm exhausted, and I'm going to need to have a clear head if I need to think of a way to make Roza listen to me. Eventually I drift off, thinking how beautiful she looked with a little more life in her tonight.

* * *

Next morning I'm standing at the back of Stan Alto's classroom. I've barely slept and I've got a massive headache. Roza is standing just a few feet away, not looking much better than I am. Alberta made my schedule before she spoke to me, or she wouldn't have stationed me in the same room as Rose. And if Alberta had known about last night, I'm fairly sure I would be on my way to the airport right now.

Alto is supposed to teach the novices about surveillance techniques today, but apparently he has something different in mind. As soon as everyone sits down, he calls the class to attention, and I'm in for an unpleasant surprise.  
"Ladies and gentleman, you've got an exceptional opportunity today. With us is Guardian Belikov, former guardian and mentor of this Academy, current guardian to Princess Dragomir, and the only known restored Strigoi. As he can offer you a unique insight, I thought it would be an excellent idea for you to ask him any questions you might have."  
What?! Alto sends me a self-satisfied grin before beckoning me over and sitting down behind his desk.  
"The stage is yours Belikov."

I grind my teeth, push my guardian mask firmly in place and walk to the front of the class. My temper is rising, Alto is out of line. I would prefer never to talk about my experiences in the first place, but if asked, I might have considered telling the students part of my story to teach them. But springing this on me in a full classroom, and inviting them to ask me anything they like is completely unacceptable. Alberta will be hearing about this.  
As I get to the front of the room, I turn my back on Alto, look at the class and see around twenty 17-year-olds eyeing me nervously. Near the door I can see Roza, looking apprehensive. My anger at Alto grows and I clench my fists. It's one thing to put me in this position, but to do it while Rose is present and to make her listen to this is downright vicious.

I have to remind myself the students are not at fault, so I keep a tight hold on my temper and adress the class.  
"Good morning. Many of you might remember me from when I was a guardian here. I fought in last year's attack and was taken in the ensuing rescue mission. As Guardian Alto stated, if you have any questions for me you're welcome to ask them. However, since this has been a difficult and painful time for both myself and the people around me, there may be questions I'll refuse to answer."  
I'm sure Alto won't be pleased if I actually refuse to answer anything, but as soon as I get him alone, I'll give him several other things to be unhappy about.

A girl near the back of the class hesitantly raises her hand and I nod at her.  
"Did it hurt to be turned?"  
"Yes it did." Wether or not it hurts to be turned actually depends on the Strigoi. Their compulsion can make you feel whatever they want you to, so they can either make it very pleasant, or very painful. Nathan wasn't in a pleasant mood that day.

Her neighbor speaks up straight after. "How come you were taken? Everyone said you were the best guardian around here, they called you the Russian God and everything."  
Is that really how people used to see me? I remember Roza making some comments that involved the word god, but I never worked out what she meant exactly.  
"I was taken near the end of the mission. I was one of the last to leave, and several Strigoi were hiding near the exit. One of them got the jump on me." I pause, overtaken by memories for a moment. I remember seeing Roza outside, being happy she was safe and looking forward to our future together, before a cold hand suddenly grabbed me. I take a breath and compose myself before I continue. "Many exceptional guardians died during the attack and rescue, and in many other Strigoi attacks around the world. I'm no better than any of them. Being killed or taken can happen to every guardian, it might happen to any of you."  
The class is silent, considering my words and coming to terms with what I'm telling them. Everyone can fail, everyone can die. It's a difficult lesson, but one they all have to learn.

A brawny boy I don't like the look of asks the next question.  
"What is it like, being Strigoi?" He looks somewhat excited, and I'm wondering if he's asking out of morbid curiousity or something more.  
"Are you asking me what it's like to hurt and kill people? Or do you want to know what it's like to live in a world where the only thing that matters to you is blood, power, fighting or revenge? As a Strigoi, every bit of humanity is taken away from you. You're no longer the person you once were and you no longer care about any of the things that were once important to you. You would willingly kill your friends and family, just because you can." The boy's excitement disappears and several of his classmates look scared.

After that I'm assaulted by a barrage of questions, several of which I refuse to answer. The most notable of these is a boy asking me how many people I killed. The number is much higher than any of them will expect, and I don't want to talk about any of the people I killed. I still see every single one of them in my nightmares, and they deserve better than to be remembered as a number, just one of many.

Eventually, they move past all the Strigoi questions and move on to the next interesting part of my life.  
"How were you saved? I thought it was impossible to restore a Strigoi."  
"I think everyone thought so, at least I did." I look straight at Roza as I continue talking. "I had an extraordinary person in my life who was willing to go above and beyond for me. She did whatever she could to save me, and when she heard a fairytale somewhere, she chased it to it's source and somehow got the information she needed. I don't think anyone else could have pulled off what she did, and I'm incredibly lucky I know her. Princess Vasilisa might have been the one to restore me, but without this person I would not be here today."

Before I can point at another student, Stan gets up and announces to the class that we're almost out of time and the next question will be the last. A lot of students raise their hand, wanting to ask the final question. Among them is the same girl who was the first to ask me anything and I motion for her to speak. "What do you regret most?"

I'm about to refuse to answer her question when I hesitate. What she's asking is very personal, and I'm not the type of person to share my innermost thoughts with anyone, let alone a group of teenagers I barely know. Rose is standing at the back of the class though, and as she's refusing to talk to me, this might be my only chance to get her to hear me out. I look at her again and this time she looks straight back at me. As our eyes meet, I answer the question.  
"There are many things I wish I hadn't done, but recently I have slowly come to accept that I couldn't help what I did as Strigoi. I was taken against my will and after being turned I was no longer myself. What I regret most is the way I acted after I was restored. I had a very difficult time coming to terms with everything that happened. As a result, I pushed away someone who is very important to me, and not a day goes by where I don't regret that."

As I'm talking, our eyes stay locked on eachother. When I'm done, I see Roza's lip tremble and a tear running down her face. She hastily breaks our eye contact and tilts her head forward, letting her hair fall in front of her face so nobody can see her expression. I wish I could go over to her and comfort her, but I don't want to call attention to her, and I don't think she would welcome my help.

Alto dismisses the students and Rose follows them out of the room, moving on to whatever she's supposed to do next. I doubt anyone noticed her expression during class, but as I'm about to walk out myself Alto speaks up. "One moment Belikov."  
I turn around and face him. "What do you want Alto?"  
"You know, I never liked Hathaway, nor did I believe she would make a good guardian. I guess I was wrong on that part, though I'm not surprised her attitude got her in trouble and she wasn't assigned a charge. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."  
"Then what did you want to say to me? I've got things to do."  
"Up until the attack I had never seen Hathaway cry, but ever since I've caught her crying on a number of occassions, the last time being just a few minutes ago." I grind my teeth. Of all the people who could have noticed, Stan Alto is probably the worst. As he said, he never liked Rose, and he's not above causing trouble for her.  
"So since you used to be her mentor, I wanted to ask if you think she's weak or unstable? If so, she's a liability, and Guardian Croft should be informed that she's unfit to be in the field."

I freeze for a moment before my control finally slips as he threatens Roza's future. I stride up to him until we are inches apart. I'm at least half a foot taller than him and he leans away from me, uncomfortable by my proximity and the anger that is now radiating from me.  
"Let me make one thing very clear Alto. Rose is a better guardian than you will ever be. She has killed more Strigoi in the past year than most guardians will even see in a lifetime. She has been through a lot lately, but she isn't weak, she's actually stronger and more skilled than anyone I know. If I had to go on a dangerous mission and could only take one person with me, I would take Rose. I would trust her with my life. As far as I'm concerned, she isn't a liability but an asset, and I would be happy to tell Guardian Croft so if someone would cast doubt on her suitability as a guardian."

Alto considers me before giving me a quick nod. I'm about to ask if I made myself clear when I hear a familiar voice from the doorway. "Guardian Belikov?"  
Roza.. I don't know how much she's heard, but I hope she only just got here. I turn around and from the corner of my eye I see Alto backing away from me. Good, I guess he did get the point. "Yes?"  
"What's taking you so long? You're supposed to help me teach combat class."  
I'm sure I'm not supposed to do anything for the next two hours, but I go along with what she's saying. "Of course, Guardian Alto and I were just talking for a minute, but we're done here, aren't we Stan?"  
"Yes yes. I'll see you both later, I should prepare for my next class."

I follow Rose out of the room and out of the building. As we make our way towards the gym she tells me: "I don't need your help, I'm perfectly capable of dealing with Stan and Hans on my own."  
I guess she heard more of our conversation than I had hoped. I don't doubt her ability to take care of herself though. "I know."  
She seems surprised by my answer and the confidence in my voice. "Then why did you lay into him like that?"  
"Just because you don't need my help, doesn't mean I don't want to protect you Roza."  
She doesn't answer me, but at least this time she doesn't get angry at me for calling her Roza. We're in front of the gym by now, so I open the door for her before following her in. She told Alto I was supposed to help her teach, and I'm not going to miss out on the opportunity to spend some more time in her company.

* * *

"We will be practising uneven groupings today. Not every situation you'll be in will be a simple one-on-one fight. You might be with a group of guardians and only face one Strigoi, or you could be on your own and severely outnumbered. It's important you learn how to handle yourself, no matter what you're facing."  
Rose calls a few students forward and makes them fight three to one. The boy who is on his own manages to take down two out of three before being 'staked' himself. Rose compliments him and explains to the rest of the class. "As you can see, being outnumbered doesn't automatically mean you're fighting a losing battle. Dylan came very close to winning his fight." She points to the other three. "You gave Dylan a fighting chance because you got in eachother's way. If you're with a group, you have to trust eachother and work together. You have to see what's going on and be willing to give someone else the space to make their move."

She divides the class in four groups and watches them spar for the rest of the hour, giving tips here and there, sometimes showing them a better move or explaining why they lost and how to change the situation to their advantage next time.  
Rose doesn't ask for my help and I lean against the wall, watching her. I'm impressed and immensely proud of her. She's fresh out of the Academy herself, but she's great at explaining things to the students, and her plan of teaching them about uneven groupings is excellent. Recently it has become more common for Strigoi to work together and our training should reflect that.

Class is nearly over as Rose calls the students to her and compliments them on their work. Before she dismisses them, she gives them one final piece of advice.  
"There is one thing I want all of you to remember. Regardless of the situation you're in, you always have the option to fight. You might get hurt or lose, but if you don't fight, you can't win. So no matter how you ended up in a difficult position," Roza looks straight at me as she finishes in a quiet voice. "please don't give up."

She holds my gaze for another second before turning her attention back to the students, dismissing them. Before I can move from my position at the wall, she's already at the door and leaves the gym without another word. I'm too dazed by her words to follow her. Last night I thought Rose was telling me I didn't have another chance, but unless I'm very much mistaken, she just asked me not to give up.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: I have to admit, I actually quite like giving Dimitri a hard time. I have some things planned, but if anyone has a good idea on how Dimitri can show Rose he loves her, I'm always open to suggestions.**_


	17. Chapter 16

_**Thanks for all your great ideas! I already had something planned with donuts (duh, we're talking about Rose here) but I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of that, and there were definitely some other things I didn't think of and that I'm hoping to use in the next couple of chapters.  
Also, for those who were worried, or disappointed, about Stan getting off easy, don't be. I have plans for Stanny-boy!**_

 _ **Enjoy the next chapter! Characters and Vampire Academy aren't mine but Richelle Mead's.**_

 **Chapter 16**

 **DPOV**

I'm in the guardian lounge to get some breakfast. As I'm pouring myself a coffee I notice an almost empty tray of chocolate glazed donuts. I don't care for them much myself, but I know they're Roza's favorite. I'm just wondering whether she's already had breakfast or not when I see Alec entering the lounge. I like him, he's a decent guy and unlike some others, doesn't talk too much. I've known him to make a dozen donuts disappear in under ten minutes though, and there's only four left on the tray. I quickly put two of them on my own plate and sit down in the corner. As expected, Alec makes a beeline for the last two.

Roza walks in and passes Alec as he's heading for his seat. I can practically see her drool as she spots the donuts, and then her obvious annoyance as the only thing she can find is an empty tray with a few smears of chocolate on it. I'm sure missing out on donuts will put her in a bad mood for the rest of the day. It wouldn't be the first time.  
She eyes Alec and I'm just wondering whether she'll demand to have his last donut when I watch her shoulders sag a little. In the end she doesn't get anything to eat and just grabs some coffee before finding an empty seat.

I've finished my own breakfast by now. I pick up the plate of donuts and start making my way towards the exit. As I pass Roza, I stop and quickly place the plate beside her coffee-cup.  
"I thought you might like something to eat."  
She freezes at the sound of my voice. She whirls around to look at me before glancing at the donuts.  
"Where did you get those?"  
I smile at her. "Guardian secrets."  
"Why are you giving them to me?"  
I would've thought that was obvious, I wanted to do something nice for her, even if it was just something small. "I just thought you would like them for breakfast. But if you don't want them, I'm sure Alec wouldn't mind another two."  
I move forward as if to pick up the plate, and Rose snatches it away, just like I expected her to. Telling Rose she can't have something is, without a doubt, the most effective way to make sure she wants it. I raise an eyebrow at her as she takes a bite and she mumbles: "I'm sure Alec's had enough."  
"If you say so."

I'm amused by how quickly Rose finishes the first donut. I think she's even forgotten I'm here while she's eating it. Before she starts on the second one, she looks at me though. She seems to be on the verge of saying something as Alberta slides into the empty seat opposite her and looks at me sternly. "Aren't you supposed to be checking the wards Belikov?"  
I check my watch. My shift starts in ten minutes, but it's always better to be a little early. I won't have a chance for a private chat with Rose as long as Alberta is around, so I might as well get going.  
"Yes I was just heading out. I'll see you both later."  
Alberta nods at me and Rose doesn't respond. I continue my way out of the lounge, but I've only taken a couple of steps before I hear Roza's voice.  
"Dimitri? Thanks.. for the donuts I mean."  
I turn back to her with a big smile on my face and her eyes widen for a moment. "You're very welcome Rose."

I walk out of the lounge feeling like I'm on top of the world. Roza just called me by my first name. I think the last time that happened was when I was still in prison, just after being restored. She might not even have realized she was doing it, but to me, it feels amazing. I'm finally making progress.

* * *

I spend the next few hours checking the wards. I make two complete circuits around the Academy grounds to make sure I didn't miss anything. As I'm done I check my watch and realize this part of my shift finished half an hour ago. I'm to relieve one of the regular patrols later and I'm supposed to use the time in between to get something to eat and maybe some rest. As I check my surroundings to see where I am exactly and what the fastest way back to the Academy is, I see a roof a little ways away. Without thinking, I make my way in that direction and less than a minute later I'm standing in front of a cabin. The cabin.

I try the door and it opens smoothly. The cabin is deserted, as it should be. Students don't usually come in this direction, and they're supposed to be in class at this time anyway. I stand in the doorway for a long time, once again assaulted by memories. I remember Roza, consumed by darkness and nothing like herself. Mostly though, I remember everything that happened afterwards. That day was the best day of my life.  
Sadly it was also one of the worst. The attack, worrying about Rose's safety, seeing other guardians lose their life, counting our losses and finally the rescue mission and being turned. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet at the same time, standing here in the cabin, it feels like it happened just yesterday.

I walk inside and sit down on the bed. I can't stop thinking about Roza, how beautiful she looked then, how we finally gave in to our feelings for each other, the plans we made for our future. As I once again look around, I suddenly notice I can't be the first person to have come here recently. The place should be dusty but it's not and I notice firewood in the corner, even though this cabin isn't normally stacked anymore. I look more closely and just when I'm starting to think there's no way to tell who's been here, I find a hair tie. It's generic, I'm sure dozens of girls in this school use them. But they're unlikely to have come here, they probably don't even know this cabin exists. I can think of one person who knows this cabin though and who definitely uses hair ties like these. Roza.

I make my way back to the school and during my early lunch I ponder her presence there. Rose might have just been looking for a quiet place to spend some time, but I think it's more. She was drawn to the cabin because of the memories, just like I was. There's no telling whether she will return, but just in case, I decide to leave something for her. Before starting my patrol, I quickly return to the cabin and leave a mug, two packets of instant hot chocolate and a box of chocolate chip cookies on the table.  
If Roza does come back, at least she'll be comfortable.

* * *

Time passes quickly the rest of the day and before I know it, my shift is over and my replacement calls in over the radio to let me know she's starting out from the gates. I return to the guardian lounge for something to eat, and since I'm one of the last to have dinner the room is nearly empty and I get to eat in silence. The only person to walk in after me is Stan Alto, and as soon as he spots me, he turns to find a seat at the other end of the room, as far away from me as he can possibly get. Excellent, I would like to have as little as possible to do with him.

I return to my room, read for a while and decide to head for the gym. I haven't worked out since coming here and like every other guardian I should make sure I'm as fit as I can be. I'm not going there because Rose might be there, honestly. If she is, that'd just be an added bonus.  
In the end it's a good thing Rose wasn't my reason for going there, because she doesn't show up tonight. Perhaps she already finished before I got there, or maybe she just didn't feel like training. I refuse to consider the possibility that she's once again avoiding me. I push myself for an hour and a half before calling it quits. I'm mostly pleased with the shape I'm in, but I did get out of breath a little faster than I would like, so starting tomorrow I'll get back in the habit of going for an early morning run.

* * *

I get up early and as planned I go for a run. It feels nice to be back on this familiar track. For a while I feel completely at peace, like I'm back to my old self and nothing bad happened to me. In reality, it's not that easy to leave the past months behind me, however I'm finally starting to accept what happened to me and realizing I'm still the same person deep down. Of course my experiences changed me, but not as much as I once thought and was secretly afraid of. I was scared that returning here would remind me of all the bad things that happened, but it seems to have the opposite effect. It's something of a healing experience, being back in familiar surroundings, doing the same things that I used to do. The only thing that's currently missing is Rose running by my side, complaining about the amount of laps she has to run on an empty stomach.

Since I didn't see Roza on the track, I'm hoping to see and hopefully talk to her at breakfast. I spot her as soon as I enter the lounge, I must be running later than I thought. I get myself a coffee and a sandwich and am about to make my way over to Rose when Alberta intercepts me.  
"Morning Belikov."  
"Morning Guardian Petrov." I'm used to calling Alberta by her first name, but since she's addressing me more formally I'm assuming she hasn't forgiven me for hurting Rose yet and I should be on my best behavior. With a little luck, she just has some quick question for me and after that I can talk to Rose.  
"I wanted to show you something, would you mind taking your breakfast with you to my office?"  
I should have known I wouldn't be lucky enough to get away within a few minutes. I look wistfully at Rose, who seems completely unaware of my presence, before nodding at Alberta and following her out of the lounge.

When we enter her office she motions for me to take a seat while she sits at her desk and fires up her computer. She doesn't say anything and is busy typing and clicking. I sip my coffee and wait somewhat impatiently. Knowing Alberta, she has a good reason for asking me to come here, but I would've much preferred to spend this time talking to, or looking at, Roza.  
It takes a few minutes before Alberta exclaims: "There it is! I knew it was on here somewhere."  
I have absolutely no idea what she is taking about, but hopefully now she'll tell me why I'm here. But instead of talking to me, she busies herself with adjusting the monitor and moving a chair next to hers. "Come over here please Dimitri."  
I do as she asks, though I'm confused by the very uncharacteristic way Alberta is behaving. I sit in the extra chair and look at the monitor. Alberta clicks on an icon and to my surprise, a video starts playing. "I thought you might want to see this."  
It takes me about twenty seconds to realize what 'this' is. I recognize the obstacle course immediately, but it's not until I see the full stands that I understand I'm watching a recording of the final trials the novices have to complete to graduate. Five seconds later I find out it's not just any trial I'll be watching, but a specific one. Roza's.

For the next hour my attention is completely focused on the screen. My coffee is forgotten and I honestly can't tell you whether Alberta stayed or left the room. I watch Rose as she fights, protects and does incredible things, showing off how skilled she really is. She's magnificent, I've never seen anyone like it. I'm sure even I wouldn't have been able to do some of the things she pulls off effortlessly.  
When the video finishes it freezes on the last frame, and I can't take my eyes off the screen. It's Rose, flushed and sweaty, looking a little dazed, but smiling as Alberta wraps an arm around her.

I stare at her in silence until Alberta speaks up next to me. "I don't have to tell you that Rose crushed school records. I've watched this video several times and I still don't understand how she managed to do as well as she did." I hear pride and affection in her voice. Alberta loves Rose like a daughter and is genuinely pleased by her achievements.  
I clear my throat and finally find my voice. "Thank you Alberta, this was... I never expected to be able to see how she did... thank you."  
"You're welcome. I do have my reasons for showing you though."  
"What do you mean?"  
Alberta points at the screen, still frozen on a smiling Rose. "The Rose I saw there, the Rose I have known for fourteen years, ever since her mother dropped her off on her 4th birthday. I want her back. She might not have been completely happy when she took her trials, it was easy to see she missed you, but she was Rose. She was passionate and determined and alive, and I want her to be that way again. And while I'm still very unhappy with the way you hurt her, I do understand you were in a difficult situation and you do truly care for her. From what I've heard, you two have clashed a few times already over the past days, and Rose does seem to be a little better, so I hope you have a plan to make sure she keeps improving."

I understand where Alberta is coming from. She doesn't have any children herself and she really does love Rose like a daughter. Like Eddie a few weeks ago, I don't think she's actually on my side, she's on Rose's. I'm just the means to achieving Roza's recovery.  
"I'm working on it Alberta, I do have some ideas."  
"Good. You best get going then, Daniel will be waiting to be relieved at the gates."  
Looking at the clock next to the door, I can see more time has passed than I expected. "On my way."

I open the door and pause, thinking about something I saw in the video.  
"Alberta? I am curious, how did you expect Rose to get past the bridge ambush?"  
She chuckles, but I can clearly see pride on her face. "We didn't. The idea behind it was to put her in a situation she couldn't possibly get out off uninjured. None of us was able to think of a way out during planning, so we figured she wouldn't either. Of course we underestimated her penchant for insane plans. We simply don't have anyone with the creativity to come up with these kind of solutions. I can tell you some of the guardians were a little upset about being upstaged by a novice. Impressed, but upset."  
I laugh. "Yes, insane plans are Rose's specialty."  
"Indeed. And you trained her well. She would never have been the amazing guardian she is now without you."  
"I think she would've been great no matter what. Her talent was always there."

Alberta's expression changes from proud to kind. "Talent yes. Patience, restraint, self-control and respect, not so much. I mean it Dimitri, Rose wouldn't be who she is today without your presence in her life."  
I sigh. "Maybe not, but you could say the same in a more negative way. Undoubtedly her life would've been a lot easier without me."  
She looks thoughtful. "Perhaps, but I'm not too sure about that. She would not have reached her full potential, and there's no telling whether she would've even graduated and if not, where she would've been today. Don't dwell on the bad things that happened to both of you Dimitri. Think about them, but learn from what happened and use the past as a guideline to do better, to make sure you don't make the same mistakes in the future."  
"I'll try, thank you."  
"You're welcome. Oh and Dimitri, please try and keep the public speaches to a minimum. Stan told me something of what was said in his class, and while he didn't make the connection yet, it could cause problems if he, or one of the other teachers, finds out about your history with Rose."  
I can't believe our little confrontation didn't intimidate Alto enough to keep him from talking about Rose completely. I'm seriously annoyed, I'll have to find a way to make him pay.

An idea pops into my head. Usually I would think it through before bringing it up to Alberta, but I make a split-second decision to just roll with it. "Will do. Before I leave though, there is something else I wanted to talk to you about."  
Alberta raises an eyebrow at me but signals for me to continue.  
"I was just thinking. We test the senior novices, both in the field experience and their finals. We make them face the unexpected and unfamiliar, and we try to teach them that they can be attacked by anyone, at any place, at any time, right?"  
"Correct."  
"In all the time I've been here, we never tested the sanctioned guardians. They don't usually face the same things a guardian out in the field would, so some of them might go months, or years even, only having planned sparring sessions in the gym without facing a real threat. I know our defensive plans worked well during the attack, but don't you think there's still something to be gained by preparing our guardians for the unexpected as well?"

Alberta listens attentively and seems to turn it over in her mind. "You make a fair point, I never really considered it. I suppose you have a plan to fix this lapse?"  
"I do. I would like your permission to work with a few of the other guardians while I'm here and stage some surprise attacks. Once I go back to Court, they can take over. You wouldn't need to do several attacks a day in a few week period, like you would during the field experience. You could just stage them during the year, sometimes a few in a row, then nothing for a month. It would keep everyone alert, but doesn't put too much strain on the guardians organizing it."  
"And when would these attacks take place?"  
I'm just making this up as I go along, but the more I talk to Alberta, the more the plan takes shape in my head. "It could be at any place, at any time during the day. We won't attack while the sun is up though. There's no point, and the guardians need their sleep to be able to protect the school properly. I don't want to create a security risk."  
Alberta nods in assent. "I like it, you have my permission. Do you have targets in mind yet for the first attacks?"  
"Nobody specific, but I'll think of someone."

* * *

As I make my way out of the office and towards the gates a few minutes later, I think about the small lie I told Alberta. I have the perfect target in mind for the first attack and I also know just the right person to help me make a plan and execute it. Roza did say she could handle Stan herself after all.


	18. Chapter 17

_**Early update! Enjoy the weekend everyone.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters are owned by Richelle Mead. I only own Dimitri's wicked plan to attack Stanny boy and all the torture I've put Dimitri through.**_

 **Chapter 17**

 **DPOV**

I don't get to see Rose that day or the next. Apparently she had to go on an off-campus assignment with Daniel and they won't return until late in the evening. I'm very disappointed by this, I was hoping to tell her about her chance to get revenge on Alto as soon as possible. I'll have to wait until Sunday and hope I can find a chance to talk to her then.

I keep myself busy with patrolling, picking up an extra shift, and when I'm not working I go running or to the gym. On Saturday I decide that rather than run on the track, I'll run around the grounds and use the opportunity to go back to the cabin. As soon as I open the door, I can tell Rose has been here. The mug, instant hot chocolate and cookies are gone, and in it's place is an old CD boombox. There's no CDs next to it, so I can only assume Rose either expects me to bring my own music, or she already picked something. I hit play and within seconds I'm treated to Madonna's Like a Virgin. I can't surpress a smile. I can't believe that out of all the CDs I've got on campus, Rose picked this one.

During dinner Emil joins me. I haven't seen or talked to him since I returned, but it's nice to see him again. He's one of the few friends I made in the time I was here. The others were Yuri and Celeste, and like me, they didn't make it out of the caves. Unlike me, they didn't get a second chance.  
"I heard you had returned, it's great seeing you Dimitri. I can't believe you're actually here."  
"It's good to see you too Emil. And there are times where I can't quite believe it myself."  
"Yes I can imagine. So how did it happen? You don't mind me asking do you?" I forgot how direct Emil can be. It's part of the reason why I like him, he's honest and straightforward. I would very much prefer not to tell him everything here in the lounge though, with other guardians, among them Alto, sitting just a few yards away.  
"No that's fine, but I'd prefer not to talk about it here. Are you working tonight? I could use your help with something."  
"Yes I've got a few more hours of patrolling to do sadly. What can I do for you?"  
"How about I join you. I wouldn't mind a walk and then we can talk in private."  
"Sure thing. I'm starting in half an hour, just meet me near the gym."  
"Will do."  
Emil doesn't linger and I finish my dinner in silence.

Emil is already waiting for me when I walk in the direction of the gym. We set out, walking side by side and our eyes focused on our surroundings. Over the next hour I tell him everything, and I do mean everything. It's the first time I've told anyone the whole story. I've told bits and pieces to several people, but those were mostly the parts relating to Roza. Until now, I didn't tell anyone about the things I did as Strigoi, both to Roza and to others who were unlucky enough to cross my path, nor did I ever tell anyone the details of what went on between me and Roza during our time here. It feels good to finally tell someone and get it off my chest. Emil doesn't interrupt me, and when I finish he's quiet for a long time. I suppose it's a lot to take in, but after a few minutes his silence starts to make me uncomfortable. Did I make a mistake in telling him?

Emil eventually pats me on the shoulder. "Sounds like you've had a hell of a time Dimitri."  
"Yes that's certainly one way to describe it."  
"How would you describe it then?"  
"Honestly, I don't really know. You don't think I'm to blame for everything I did?"  
"Do you?"  
I shrug. As I said in Alto's class the other day, I have started to accept that I couldn't help the things I did as Strigoi, but I'm still having a hard time letting it go completely. When I don't answer, Emil continues talking. "You certainly could have handled the Rose-situation better, but otherwise, no I don't think you're to blame for what happened. We both know that's just not who you are Dimitri. You weren't in control and you need to accept that, forgive yourself and move on."  
I didn't even realize I had been holding my breath while I was waiting for his reaction until I let it go, feeling a little lightheaded. "I'm trying."  
"You'll get there."

"Anyway, you said you needed my help with something?"  
"Ah yes, I nearly forgot. I'm setting up some sort of field trial, but for the sanctioned guardians rather than the novices. Alberta gave me permission, but nobody else is supposed to know yet, because that would kind of defeat the idea of seeing how they handle a surprise attack. I need some help though, and someone will have to continue organizing random attacks after I go back to Court."  
Emil listens attentively. "You know, that's not a bad idea actually. When do you plan on doing this?"  
"This week. I'll ask Rose to help as well, and we'll both be returning to Court next weekend."  
He chuckles. "Anything to spend time with her huh? You know, I like Rose, but I don't really understand how you could let yourself fall in love with her. She's a handful, you'll never have another quiet moment."  
"It's not like I planned it. By the time I realized I had feelings for her, I was already lost. But she's worth it."  
"I suppose she does bring out strong emotions in people. I'm sure all of the teachers here will agree on that."  
This time I'm the one to chuckle. "Yes I'm sure."

Emil laughs with me but gets back on topic. "So who do you have in mind for the first attack?"  
"Alto."  
"Talk about strong emotions. I suppose that's why you want to involve Rose?"  
"I would have asked for her help anyway, but I might have had her in mind when I selected the first target."  
Emil shakes his head in amusement. "Those two disliked eachother at first sight. If I remember correctly, the first time he sent Rose to Kirova he had just started here and was patrolling the playground. He caught her beating a boy who was two years older than her, told her to behave and she kicked his shin and told him to get out of the way. When he wouldn't move, she called him an idiot, said he was just jealous of her awesome fighting skills, and that if he asked nicely she could teach him."  
I laugh. It's something Rose could've said just last year, and I can definitely imagine a younger version of her doing the same."How old was she?"  
"8 I think? It was hilarious. One of the other guardians heard and asked Stan a week later how his little mentor was doing. I suppose he never quite forgave Rose for that."  
I never thought highly of Alto, but this lowers my opinion of him even further. Holding a grudge because an 8-year-old talks back at you is downright pathetic, but I'm not at all surprised to find he's capable of it.

During our talk we've made a full round over the grounds and we're back at the gym. "I should go and get some sleep. What do you think though, are you in?"  
"Yes count me in. Extra training is always a good idea, and I would enjoy being involved in organizing this."  
"Thank you. I'll let you know when I talked to Rose so we can meet up and plan further."  
"Great! See you later then, thanks for the company."

* * *

I'm woken by my alarm, and as soon as I turn it off I hear the wind howling and rain ticking against my window. A little rain never stops me from running, but the forecast did warn us a storm was coming up, and it sounds pretty bad out there. With running out of the question, I dig through my closet until I find what I need and head towards the swimming pool instead.  
Luckily it's just as empty at this time of day as the track normally is. I change and dive into the water. It's a little cold, but it's a surprisingly nice way to wake up. Perhaps I should go swimming rather than running more often. I know there is an Olympic-size pool at Court as well, as part of the excellent guardian training facilities.

I start with a few lanes of breaststroke before changing to freestyle, trying to get into a nice rhythm where I can keep my breathing and stroke even.  
When I take a break after twenty laps, I see Roza sitting on one of the starting blocks. She looks amazing in the tight swimsuit she's wearing. She catches me looking at her and her eyes tighten a little. I'm expecting her to chew me out, but her next comment takes me by surprise.  
"See something you like?" I remember another time she asked me that question. At the time I couldn't give her an honest answer for many reasons. Apart from the fact that I was her mentor and she wasn't aware I had feelings for her, I was upset with her for breaking the rules and livid at the boy who was with her, which had nothing to do with me being jealous of course.

I pull myself out of the water and onto the wall next to her, before standing up and stretching. I have the satisfaction of seeing her eyes widen momentarily as she sees me in my speedos. I realize I haven't answered her question yet.  
"Yes I do Roza. Do you?"  
She doesn't answer but I see a familiar look of longing cross her features. Before I can react, she's once again in control of her emotions.  
"I didn't expect anyone to be here at this time."  
"Neither did I."

We're both a little uncomfortable, and to break the tension I suggest: "Since you're here, do you feel like a race?"  
If there's one thing Rose likes it's a bit of competition, so I'm not surprised by her answer. "Yeah sure, just give me a few minutes to warm up."  
She doesn't wait for my answer and immediately dives in and starts swimming. I stay where I am, watching her. Rose is an excellent swimmer, her stroke is smooth and graceful and she slides through the water, seemingly without effort. She's much better at this than I am. We didn't have a pool at St. Basil's, so while we all learned to swim in the public pool nearby, we only trained there once a month afterwards. The novices here swim at least once a week. The difference this has made to Rose's technique is obvious, and there's a good chance I'll end up losing this race.

After five minutes Rose pulls herself out of the water and faces me.  
"So, four laps?"  
"Okay." Usually a longer distance would have been in my favour, but since Rose is in excellent shape it really doesn't make much of a difference. It's unlikely she'll get tired before I do, especially with her relying on technique, where I'm going to have to win on pure strength.  
"What's in it for the winner?" She sounds confident, clearly convinced she's capable of beating me.  
"What do you want if you win?"  
She considers this for a moment. "Hmmm... you'll have to bring me chocolate donuts every day for the rest of the week." That will be challenging. They're by no means a standard part of breakfast, so if she wins, I'll have to bribe someone in the kitchens to make them especially for her every day. I think I can do that though, and worst case scenario I'll have to drive to the nearest town every morning and buy her some.  
"Deal. But if I win, I would like to spend some time with you. Say, an hour a day for the rest of the week?"  
This might be pushing my luck, but I'm counting on the fact that Roza thinks she can win. Her eyes narrow a little, but she nods. "Fine. I suppose it doesn't matter whether I spend an hour working out on my own or with you around."  
That's not quite what I had in mind, but I didn't specify what I wanted to do, so I guess this is as good as I'll get.

We both get up on a starting block. "I'll do a countdown, are you ready?"  
Rose gets in position. "Definitely."  
"3.. 2.. 1.. Go!"  
We both dive in and start swimming as fast as we can. Rose had a fast start, after the first lap she's ahead of me and I see her execute a perfect flip turn. I push myself even harder. I want to spend time with Rose, and this might be my best chance. It takes me another two laps to catch up and by the time we've both made the final turn I'm right next to Rose. I give everything I've got and when my hand touches the wall and I look up I can see..  
Roza grinning at me. "Nice try. I'll be looking forward to my donuts tomorrow."  
Damn it.

* * *

After our race we both continue swimming. Since I was here early I finish my workout before Rose does. I take a shower and change, and then wait for her just outside the door. She seems to be in a good mood when she leaves the pool, but she immediately stops walking when she sees me.  
"Oh.. I thought you had left already."  
"I waited for you so we could walk back together."  
"Uhm.. sure."  
Rose starts walking and I fall into step next to her. She seems a bit uneasy at my proximity so I give her a little more space before I ask: "Do you like being back here?"  
"Yeah I guess. There's not as much going on as at Court and not as many people bothering me. Plus, it's kinda nice to do something rather than sit at a desk all day."  
"I can imagine. You did great teaching that class the other day, I was really impressed."  
"Uhm.. Thanks?"

We reach the guardian building and she's about to head in when I stop her by putting my hand on her arm. She freezes and I take my hand away quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.." I'm not sure how to finish. I didn't mean to touch you? But clearly I did. I didn't mean to scare you? Rose doesn't look scared, just.. edgy. I don't bother finishing the sentence at all and quickly move on to what I wanted to say.  
"I just wanted to ask if you have some time later. I'm planning something on Alberta's orders and I could use your help."  
Rose looks undecided. Maybe she's uncomfortable with spending time alone with me, so before she can refuse I add: "Emil will be there as well."  
This does seem to make her relax a little. "Fine. When?"  
"There's an empty lounge on the third floor. Does after dinner work for you? Say.. around eight?"  
"Okay. I'll see you then."

She walks inside without another word and I follow slowly before heading towards my room. I send Emil a text with the time and place of our meeting and he instantly replies that he'll be there. I put my bag in my room before checking the time. Great, if I hurry, I can just make it to the kitchens to inquire about donuts before it's time for church.

* * *

"Wait, let me get this straight. You're telling me I can attack Stan?"  
Roza looks at both Emil and myself for confirmation. We're sitting at a table in the empty lounge and I've just informed Rose of my idea.  
Emil answers: "Yep."  
"In public?"  
I nod. "Yes."  
"I can kick Stan's ass?"  
"Yep."  
"And I have Alberta's permission to do it?"  
"Technically I am the one who has permission to attack any guardian on campus. I'm allowed to get others to help me though, so.. Yes."  
Rose looks at us incredulously. "Are you really serious about this?"  
I laugh. "Yes Rose, I'm serious."  
A breathtaking smile appears on her face, making my heart stutter and skip a beat. "That.. is.. awesome!"

Emil tries to tone down her enthusiasm a little. "Don't think this will be a walk in the park Rose. You might not like Stan, but he is a trained and skilled guardian, and he won't go down without a fight."  
Rose is still smiling. "Oh I know, though skilled is debatable in my opinion. But it's the fight I'm looking forward to. While it would be nice to humiliate him, I would actually be very dissatisfied if he goes down after two hits."  
I shake my head in amusement. I almost feel bad for Stan. He's about to have 10 years of payback coming his way in the form of a 5"7 avenging angel. Or well, I would call her an avenging angel. I'm sure Stan will call her something else entirely when she's done. Yes I would feel bad, if it was anyone else. We are talking about Stan Alto however, and in my opinion, he deserves whatever he's going to get.

"So when and where do you guys wanna do this?" Rose sounds excited.  
Emil makes the first suggestion. "I was thinking his classroom? If we time it well, it would be an excellent opportunity for the senior novices to learn by watching."  
"I suppose, but it would limit the space we have to fight. Fighting in close quarters would be to Rose's advantage though, so it's definitely an option."  
We all go quiet, thinking about other options. It's Rose who speaks up first.  
"Does Stan still patrol the cafetaria during lunch once a week? You know, keep the students from actually enjoying their break and having fun and all that?"  
Emil nods. "Yes. I'd have to check to be sure, but I think he usually patrols on Friday."  
"Excellent! I want to fight him there."  
"Are you sure? Other guardians might join in."  
"Well, if we're lucky, they'll be too interested in watching the fight once they see it's me. If not, you two can handle anyone who tries to interfere. Stan is mine."

Emil and I look at eachother before I raise my eyebrow and ask: "You want us to sit out unless someone tries to join the fight?"  
"Yes, I want to fight Stan one on one. When I beat him, I don't want him to be able to say he only lost because he was outnumbered."  
I wonder if I should try and limit her hunger for revenge, but I decide not to. Rose deserves to inflict some damage on Stan and his ego for all his insults over the years.  
Emil says: "If you win he'll still find some excuse."  
She laughs. "I'd like to see him try. There'll be a couple hundred students who'll witness the fight and will be able to remind Stan of his loss for at least the next ten years."  
Rose is very confident that she can beat Stan, and since I've seen both of them fight, I'm inclined to think she's correct.

We talk for a little longer before all going our separate ways. When I'm lying in bed half an hour later I think about everything that happened today, and our plans for the next week. One thing is for sure, the rest of our time here at the Academy won't be boring.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: I know, I know, there's no mention of a pool anywhere in the original books. I got a little bored with running though, and there's just no way Rose could've beaten Dimitri in a race on the track. Considering the fact that the Academy seems to have pretty much everything else, I didn't think this was too much of a stretch.  
And well.. Dimitri in speedos.. I don't really need another reason do I?**_


	19. Chapter 18

_**I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Once you've got that mental image of Dimitri in speedos, it's kind of hard to forget about it, right? :D**_

 _ **I'm not planning to do any chapters from Rose's POV at the moment. Once this is finished I might do a series of one-shots related to this story, from different POVs. There are a few scenes I would really like to write from a different perspective, but I'm afraid that if I do so now, I'll have a hard time getting back into Dimitri's head. So if anyone thinks this is a good idea and has a request for a certain scene/person, please feel free to let me know.**_

 _ **Anyway, the event we've all been waiting for is finally here!**_

 **Chapter 18**

 **DPOV**

Emil checks Alto's schedule and confirms that he will be in the cafeteria during lunch on Friday. He also finds out Randall will be on lunch-duty and manages to trade shifts with him. We can't rule out other guardians being there, but at least this will make sure we have one less person to deal with.  
The next day we start making plans and preparing Rose. She doesn't really need extra training, but just to be sure Emil invites her to spar and they run through all the moves I've taught her to face a larger opponent. I offer to spar with her as well, but she rejects my offer with the excuse that she's got to work soon. It's probably for the better, considering the way our last sparring session ended.

Every morning, before I go running, I pick up a box of donuts and leave it in front of Roza's door, knocking once to make sure she knows it's there. To my surprise, on Wednesday she opens the door as I'm walking away.  
"Are you going to the track?"  
I turn around and see she's dressed to go running as well. "Yes."  
"Wait up, I'll join you." Rose picks up the box of donuts and takes it inside, walking out ten seconds later with a bottle of water in one hand and a donut in the other. I raise my eyebrow at her.  
"What? I can't run on an empty stomach. This donut is the only thing standing between me and a death of starvation on the track at sunset."  
I smile at her dramatic statement. "Yes I definitely don't want that to happen. Are you sure one donut is enough to keep you from this gruesome faith?"  
She looks thoughtful as she eats her donut. When she's finished, she answers: "Hmmm I hope so. If not, I expect you to run to the kitchen at the first sign of trouble and get me a few more."  
"Your wish is my command."  
We run in silence and go our separate ways after. I'm a little disappointed Rose didn't collapse from lack of food. I knew it wouldn't happen of course, but it would've given me the chance to catch her. A guy can dream right?

On Thursday her door is half open when I arrive to drop of the box of donuts. I knock and I hear her voice from the tiny bathroom. "Almost done!"  
In Rose's case this could mean anything from five seconds to half an hour, but I lean against the wall and wait. She comes out only a few minutes later and walks straight out the door. "Are you coming?"  
As I follow her, I notice she's pulled her hair into a high ponytail, the way I told her to wear it last year. Lately she usually just tied it at the nape of her neck. I can see the promise mark she received since I've last seen her like this, as well as two zvezda's and a number of molnija marks. I remember telling her she would have more marks than me some day. I never expected it to be quite this soon though, and they didn't even count the kills I know she made in Russia. I'm proud of her, but seeing the marks also makes me a little sad. Rose has come a long way from the, sort of, innocent teenager she was last year, to the woman she is now. She's stronger and more beautiful than ever, but to me those marks represent not just the kills she's made, but also everything she's given up for Lissa, for her other friends and for me.  
I think Rose senses my melancholy or maybe she just doesn't feel like talking, but she doesn't say a word during our walk to the track, nor during our morning run.

On Friday, Rose is waiting for me outside her door. As soon as I hand her the box she grabs a donut and takes a huge bite. She opens the door to put the rest inside when she turns around.  
"Hey, do you want one as well?"  
"I'm not sure my stomach can handle a donut this early."  
"You won't know if you don't try." She takes another donut out of the box and holds it out to me. "Come on. Look at me, I do this every day and I'm fine. Besides, we need to celebrate! I've been waiting for this day to arrive for 10 years."  
I shake my head in amusement. "You've been waiting to attack Stan for 10 years?"  
"Well it might've been 9 years, 10 months and a couple of days, but it's not like I've been keeping track. The important thing is that it's going to happen."  
I laugh. "Fine, I'll eat to that." I take the donut and am rewarded by a genuine smile.

Rose is in a great mood all through our run. For the first time, she actually talks to me a few times, dares me to race her (which I win) and as we finish stretching, she throws in some dance moves.  
"Great, I'm all ready for the day. We're still meeting at the gym fifteen minutes before lunch right?"  
"Yes, Emil will meet us there and go to the cafeteria for his shift right after. He'll send us a text when the cafetaria is nearly full and Stan is in position."  
She nods before walking away, calling over her shoulder. "Can't wait! See you comrade!"  
My mouth falls open as she calls me by my old nickname. It used to annoy me, but right now it's the best thing I've heard in a very long time.

* * *

 _All set, go whenever you're ready. Emil_

I look at Rose, who's impatiently been waiting for this text for the past ten minutes. We're both dressed in black and her hair is tied up to make sure Alto can't use it as a handhold. "Are you ready for this?"  
"Ready as I'll ever be!"  
"Okay. Emil says we're good to go. Remember, try and stay out of Stan's line of sight for as long as possible. If he sees you coming he'll probably guess you're upto something."  
She shrugs. "He thinks I'm upto something whether he sees me or not. The only difference is that this time he'd be right."  
"Rose.."  
"Yeah yeah, I'll stay out of sight. It's probably going to be easier for me to blend in than it is for you."  
"True, but I don't have to get close enough to attack him. I'll just move closer after you've started."  
"Fine, let's go then."  
"Good luck Rose, and while you're having fun, please try to remember that this is a training exercise."  
She winks at me before heading for the door. "I'm sure I can do both at the same time."  
I already typed an answer to Emil's text so I quickly press send and follow Rose inside.

 _Incoming. Let the fun begin. D_

Luck is with us and two students have just started arguing at a table near Alto, so he's distracted as Rose sneaks up behind him. He doesn't notice her until she charges the last few yards, uttering a battle cry. I can't help but laugh, startling a few students near me. I remember all the times where Roza tried to get the jump on me in training, but ruined it by her inability to keep quiet. I wonder if she did it on purpose this time. If she had caught Alto completely unaware she could've 'staked' him immediately, and she did want an actual fight. Either way, her cry gives Alto a second to respond and he ducks and rolls out of the way, narrowly avoiding Rose's fist. "What the.."

He barely has time to get back on his feet before Rose is on the offensive again, landing a kick on his chest and nearly taking him down. He only just manages to stay on his feet and blocks her next punch. "What the hell Hathaway?!"  
She doesn't lose any time in continuing her attack. He blocks her next two punches as well, but while he's focussed on her fists she kicks his knee and I can see him grind his teeth. "Surprise Stan! I did say I would teach you to fight someday right?" Of course Rose would remember their first encounter and what was said.  
Apparently Stan realizes what she's talking about as well. I see a flash of anger on his face and he immediately tries to get a hit in. His aim is a little high and if Rose hadn't dodged he would've hit her face. She twists out of the way in time though, grabbing his arm as she turns and using the movement to propel him into a table. The students scurry out the way as fast as they can. A circle is quickly forming around Rose and Stan and I can hear the students cheering Rose on. One would almost get the impression that Alto isn't their favourite teacher.

I lose sight of the fight for a few minutes as I see two guardians trying to weave their way through the crowd to find out what's going on and probably interrupt the fight. I look towards Emil and he points towards the guardian nearest him. Good, he's seen them as well and will take care of one. I quickly move to intercept the other and come face to face with Alec.  
"What's going on Dimitri? Why are the students fighting?"  
"Those aren't students, it's Rose and Stan."  
Alec is distracted by a loud noise and a yell from Stan, and I use his distraction to block his way completely. He looks surprised as he turns back to me. "Shouldn't we be helping him, or her, or well.. stop the fight somehow?"  
"I suggest you stand back and enjoy the show like everyone else Alec. This is a training exercise on Alberta's orders. If you want to help Stan, you'll have to get past me first. If you want to help Rose.. Well I don't think that's necessary."  
Alec seems to consider attacking me before lifting his hands in surrender. "I won't get in your way. Do you mind if I move a little closer though? I've got to see this."  
"Sure, just remember what'll happen if you get involved."  
"No worries, I'll just enjoy the show like you suggested." He grins. "I've kind of been waiting for this to happen for years, I don't wanna miss it."

As I turn back towards the fight as well, it's easy to see Stan has taken a few more hits. He's managed to take up a defensive position with a table between them, but I know an obstacle like that won't stop Rose. It'll barely even slow her down. As expected, she propels herself over the table and flies right into Stan, using her body to knock him to the floor. Like me, he expected a move like this and rather than block her, he lets himself fall backwards. Rose is unable to slow down and rolls over him. Stan instantly tries to get the upper hand and pin her, but Rose brings her knees to her chest, plants her feet on Stan's stomach and kicks out with all the strength she has, launching him backwards. He lands on his back but he lands far enough away from her, that they both have time to get back on their feet.

They start fighting again. Stan lands a hit here and there, but not as many as Rose. As I watch more closely, I realize Rose is actually allowing him to hit her. She could've easily blocked several of his hits, but by allowing him to make contact, she's drawing him in closer. It's easy to see from the sidelines, but Stan doesn't seem to realize what's happening and keeps coming. Eventually he thinks he sees an opening and I can see him moving in, his fist aimed for the 'kill'. A triumphant look appears on his face as he makes his move, until Rose quickly moves sideways, dodges his attack, tackles him, pins his arms above his head and punches him on the chest, right above his heart. From Rose dodging Stan's move to pinning him takes less than a second, and he's looking a little disoriented.  
"Dead. You lose Stan, but nice try."

The students start cheering and Rose gets up, smiling widely. She holds out her hand to pull Stan up as well, but he pushes it away and gets to his feet.  
"What the hell did you think you were doing Hathaway? You can't just attack me, this is unacceptable!"  
I start moving towards them to explain Rose's actions, before Rose's temper gets the better of her, but Emil gets there first. "Actually Stan, this fight was part of something bigger. For years we've been teaching our students to expect the unexpected and we decided it would set an excellent example if they can see how their teachers will react in a similar situation. Considering Rose's warning cry, you actually had more time to respond than you would have in a real Strigoi attack."  
Emil nods to Rose before clapping Stan on the shoulder. "Excellent fight, I'm sure all of these students have learned a lot." Then he announces to the cafetaria:  
"Lunchtime is over everyone, time to go to class!"

Stan is still grumbling as the students leave and I walk over to stand next to Rose, just in case Stan tries something or Rose loses her patience. Alec is lingering at the door as well. When I look at Stan, I can see he actually took a lot more hits than I thought at first. His clothes are dirty and I can see a bruise forming on his cheekbone. Rose on the other hand looks pretty much perfect, barely a hair out of place.  
"There's no way Alberta agreed to this."  
Emil looks at me and I answer Stan's statement. "She did. As Emil said, this fight was part of something similar to the senior's field trials, but aimed at our guardians and teachers instead."  
"If that's the case, we should have been informed attacks might happen on school grounds. The seniors know it can happen at any time during those weeks."  
I raise my eyebrow at him. "Yes, because it's part of teaching them how to be a guardian. You however, and the other guardians here, have already graduated a long time ago. You should know how to deal with an unexpected situation."  
"That's not the point Belikov!" Stan's tone reminds me of Paul, when he was about three years old and wouldn't get his way. I'm half expecting Stan to stomp his feet and throw a tantrum.  
Rose laughs. "So what happens if you're attacked outside of the wards Stan? Do you require Strigoi to fill in some forms and file the paperwork, before making an official request for your time a week up front or something?"  
I bite my cheek to keep from smiling at Rose's reply and work hard to keep my guardian mask in place. Behind Stan, Alec is quickly exiting the cafetaria while barely holding back his laughter.

Stan however, isn't amused. "Very funny Hathaway. What would you know about being attacked anyway? You're barely out of school and your dreadful attitude has already landed you safely behind the wards, sitting in an office. I bet you got yourself assigned there on purpose. Just not ready to be out in the field are you? You might have done well at your finals, but the real world is quite different I can assure you."  
Is that idiot calling Roza a coward? He's got no idea what he's talking about. I can feel my temper rising. I clench my fists and am about to step in front of Rose to inform Stan exactly what I think of him, when I feel a hand on my arm. I look at Rose. She isn't looking at me, but she gives a very slight shake of her head, and I understand she's asking me to let her handle this. Rose smiles at Stan. "I'm sure you'd know all about that. Do tell me, what does the real world look like from your classroom window?"  
Anger flashes over his features, but before he can reply, Rose turns around and pulls her hair to the side so Stan can see her neck. Emil and I both witness the shock on his face when he counts her marks.  
"For your information Stanny-boy, I did not get these while sitting at a desk."  
Stan is speechless. Rose gives him a nod before smiling at Emil and thanking him for his help. We walk out of the cafetaria together, leaving Emil to deal with any remaining complaints Stan might have.

If you had asked me a year ago whether Roza would be able to control her temper, and if I would lose control of mine, I would've answered both questions with a resounding no. As I hold open the door for Rose and I look at the incredible woman she has become, I realize I couldn't have been more wrong on both counts.

* * *

We keep walking, guardian masks in place until we find an empty courtyard. We stop and immediately Rose is laughing. It's the happiest I've seen her in months and I can't help but join in.  
"Amazing! That was freaking amazing!"  
I look at her and I suddenly realize she's very close to me. I stop laughing, dumbstruck by her proximity. She looks up to see why I've abruptly gone quiet and meets my stare. "Yes it was amazing. You are amazing Roza."  
Rose blushes but to my surprise she doesn't move away. A lock of her hair has come loose from her ponytail. I gently brush it out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. My hand lingers and still Roza doesn't pull away. Suddenly I can't stop myself. I close the distance between us and softly press my lips to hers. I pull away a little, expecting Roza to freeze or possibly slap me, but instead she bites her lip before leaning in. At that gesture I lose my reservations and pull her against me as I capture her lips with mine.

And Roza.. starts kissing me back and soon she hesitantly wraps her arms around me. Meanwhile I've got one arm around her waist and the other hand at her neck, pulling her closer. Kissing Roza feels surreal, but at the same time it's like coming home. Something clicks inside me and for the first time since my restoration, I feel happy and complete. I'm finally back where I belong. With my Roza.

I know something is off the moment Rose stops moving and drops her arms. She doesn't push me away but I instantly drop my hands as well and move back a few inches. I look down at her and find her staring at the ground. I gently touch her chin and she looks up, meeting my gaze. Her dark eyes are full of longing and love, but also confusion, doubt and pain. "Roza.."  
My voice breaks through the daze she is in and instantly she takes a few steps back before spinning around and dashing away.  
I call after her: "Rose, please wait!" but she increases her pace and disappears from sight.

I run after her but it's too late, I don't know in which direction she went. I check her room, the gym and the cabin but she's nowhere to be found. I feel so stupid. I shouldn't have rushed Rose. Yes it seemed like she wanted to kiss me as well, but clearly I moved too fast. And out of all the lessons I taught her, Roza remembered this one. If you're in a situation that's too much for you to handle.. run.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: I'm afraid I'm not great at writing epic fighting scenes , but I hope you all enjoyed this none the less.**_


	20. Chapter 19

_**Thank you all so much! Your reviews really keep me motivated and make me want to finish this story, so please keep them coming!  
Characters and original story are owned by Richelle Mead.**_

 **Chapter 19**

 **DPOV**

I don't sleep all night. After searching for Rose I had to check the wards, and when I returned to my room after sunrise I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed Roza, but at first she didn't seem to mind. Actually, I got the impression she wanted to kiss me as well. And honestly, if I could go back, I would do it all over again. Maybe the reason she ran wasn't the fact that I kissed her, but the emotions it unleashed inside her. I'm sure I saw doubt and pain in her eyes. Maybe she still has a hard time trusting me and allowing me back in her life, and I don't blame her for that.

I don't see Rose until she meets me in the parking lot next morning for our return to Court. I was hoping it would just be the two of us and maybe we could talk on our way to the airport, but Alberta is standing next to Rose and informs me that she'll be driving us. Rose slips into the backseat without a word and I sit in the passenger seat. Alberta thanks us for our help the past weeks, before chatting to me about some of the guardians we worked with in the past couple of years. It must be boring for Rose and at a break in our conversation I sneak a glance at her and notice she's fallen asleep. I allow myself to look at her for a few more seconds. She looks tired, like she didn't sleep last night either.

"I don't suppose you could have executed your plan without involving Rose?"  
I turn back towards Alberta. She's watching the road but clearly waiting for my reply. "I could have, but I saw no reason to exclude her. You wanted it to be a secret, and I trust Rose."  
"I suppose. But really Dimitri, did you have to allow her to attack Stan?"  
I shrug. "He seemed as good a target as any, and honestly, I felt it was about time someone gave Rose the chance to pay him back."  
"Of course you did." She sounds resigned. "I hope you realize I had to spend two hours yesterday listening to Stan's rants, before reassuring him that of course he won't be hearing about this for years."  
"You told him that?" I ask incredulously.  
"Yes. I didn't think it would be wise to point out that nobody will ever let him forget. The legendary Rose Hathaway beating up her least favourite teacher. I'm sure someone is writing it into St. Vladimir records as we speak."  
I smile. "Well to be fair, it was a fight worthy of being remembered."  
"Not funny Belikov. You might not have to deal with Stan, but I do." She sounds exasperated and I feel a little bad. It must be exhausting to deal with Alto on a day to day basis.  
"Right. I am sorry about that Alberta. I expected him to be a better loser."  
"You will forgive me if I find that hard to believe, seeing as you worked with him for quite a while."  
I don't bother denying that statement. I always knew Stan would be a poor loser, but whining to his superior for two hours is pushing it, even for him.

We lapse back into silence. I'm staring out of the window as Alberta speaks up again, curious despite her earlier comments.  
"Is it true Rose smashed Stan into a table? I heard a few students talking about it."  
"Yes."  
Alberta chuckles. "Nice one. I wish I could've seen it."  
"It is a shame you missed it, it really was amazing. You would've been proud of Rose."  
"I'm always proud of her."  
I nod in agreement. "So am I."  
"Did you manage what you came here for? She did seem a little better these past few days."  
"I'm honestly not sure. I thought I was on the right track, but then something happened yesterday and I'm afraid that destroyed any progress I made."  
Alberta looks at Rose in the rearview mirror. "I don't know what happened, but I doubt it'll set you back quite that much Dimitri. You'll just have to keep trying."  
I turn around to look at Roza's sleeping form as well, before answering in a low voice: "I will. I will never give up on Rose again."

* * *

We're almost at the airport when my phone starts buzzing and I notice I've got several texts.

 _Oi Genius, you were supposed to let me know how Rose was doing. Considering the video I just saw, I guess she's ok. Or well, better than ok.. That was legendary!_

I completely forgot to keep Christian informed. I wonder what video he's talking about though.  
The next text is from Janine Hathaway. I was unaware she even had my number and I wonder what could be important enough for her to contact me.

 _Guardian Belikov, my charge just informed me that my daughter has beaten up one of her former teachers. Since apparently you were present, would you care to explain? J. Hathaway_

I'm not sure how Janine's charge found out about this, but if he knows, there's a good chance it's all over Court. He might not be too involved in politics himself, but he is the Queen's brother.  
I move on to the next two texts, which came from the same person. The first one says: _Is this for real?_ followed by a link. _  
_The second text reads:

 _Un-fucking-believable! I can't believe I missed it! Why didn't you call me?!_

Eddie.. Considering Christian's text, I have a fairly good idea what I'll see when I open the link, and sure enough, I'm sent to a video of a busy, and very familiar, cafetaria.

I'm going to have to inform Alberta, and I'm sure she won't be happy. No use delaying the inevitable though, and at least Rose is still sleeping and won't witness her reaction. I steel myself and say: "I've got some good and some bad news for you Alberta."  
"Hm?" She's weaving in and out of traffic, trying to get to the airport quickly, so she isn't focussed on what I'm saying.  
"There's a good chance Stan will be waiting for you when you return to the school, to complain some more."  
"And what will he be complaining about exactly?"  
I take a deep breath before saying: "Well, that's the good news. It seems your wish has been granted, you will be able to watch the fight. Apparently one of the students made a video."  
The car suddenly swerves to the right before Alberta gets it back on the road, cursing under her breath. The sudden movement causes Rose to wake up.  
"Is everything okay?"  
Alberta glares at me before answering Rose. "Yes everything is fine, we're almost there."

Alberta pulls up to departures and we get out of the car. While Rose is saying her goodbyes to Alberta, I open the trunk of the car and take out both our bags, slinging one over my shoulder while I carry the other. I walk over to Alberta and shake her hand.  
"Thank you for having me Alberta, it was good to be back at the Academy."  
"I appreciated the help, you're welcome back at any time."  
"I'll keep that in mind."  
We're running a little late so we start making our way inside. I hear Alberta's door closing, but rather than driving away, she opens a window and calls after me.  
"Oh and Belikov, I do expect you to send me that link before you board."  
I raise my hand to let her know I heard and she drives off.

"What was that about?"  
I was afraid Rose would ignore me, but I suppose there's nothing like a mystery to get her talking. "We were just talking about something in the car."  
Rose tries to raise her eyebrow at me but, as usual, fails miserably. "Right." She holds out her hand. "I can take my own bag."  
"There's no need."  
"It's my bag."  
"Rose.."  
She glares at me. "Give it to me."  
I sigh in exasperation. "Will you please allow me to carry it for you? I'm just trying to be nice."  
"Fine!", she says, while stalking off towards the service counters. She's definitely not too happy with me at the moment.

We check in and rush through the airport to our gate. They're almost done boarding so at least we don't have to wait. Luck isn't on my side today though. I was hoping once we were in the air I could talk to Rose, but due to our late arrival there were only single seats left. The best I can do is look at her hair as she's sitting five rows in front of me.  
I text Alberta the link Eddie sent me, before turning off my phone and trying to find a more comfortable position. If I can't talk to Rose, I might as well try to catch up on some sleep.

* * *

I don't get a chance to talk to Roza the rest of our trip either. Once we get to Pennsylvania it turns out another guardian flew in just before us, and Hans is making us carpool. At least the other guardian allows me to drive. As soon as we arrive at Court, and before I even have the chance to turn off the engine, Rose jumps out of the car, waves and pretty much runs towards guardian housing. She'll do anything to get away from me apparently, and I'm once again too late to catch up with her.  
I take my bag to my room and check the time. I head over to Rose's room and knock, but she either isn't there or doesn't want to talk to me. I decide to go to Vasilisa's apartment to check whether she has returned from LeHigh. Considering the fact that it's Saturday and close to dinnertime, I have a fairly good chance of finding her there.

I knock on the door and Garcia, one of Vasilisa's other guardians opens the door for me. "Ah Belikov, excellent. We were just wondering when you'd return"  
We quickly confer about Vasilisa's schedule for the next couple of days and plan our shifts. I offer to stay for the next few hours and wait for Garcia's replacement to arrive so he can have an early night and he gladly accepts.

The Princess greets me as soon as I enter the apartment. "Dimitri, welcome back!"  
"Thank you Vasilisa."  
I look around the room and to my surprise I find Eddie lounging in a chair while Mia is sitting on the couch next to Vasilisa. Christian is nowhere to be seen, but just as I'm wondering where he is, I hear his voice from the kitchen. "Has Guardian Genius returned?"  
I call back: "Good evening Christian."  
He walks out of the kitchen."Ah so it is you. I thought I saw something flying out of the window but now I understand. As soon as you entered, intelligence left the building."  
"Are you sure it wasn't your sanity fleeing the premises?" I counter, earning me a laugh from Mia.

Christian continues like I haven't spoken. "So, did you lose your phone or did you simply erase my number as soon as you left Court?"  
Eddie chimes in: "In that case he must've erased all of his contacts, or surely he would've remember to call me about certain events."  
Christian doesn't give me the chance to answer. "You would think so, wouldn't you Eddie? I mean, surely even Mr. Genius here knows us well enough to know we would never, ever want to miss out on such excellent entertainment."  
Lissa sighs. "Will you two drop it? You've been complaining about it all day."  
"It's okay Vasilisa." I raise both my hands in surrender. "I'm sorry I didn't text or call either of you to let you know what was going on, I simply didn't think about it."  
Christian mutters under his breath: "No surprise there."  
I ignore him. "Even if I had informed the both of you however, there's no way you could have come over to the Academy to watch. You two showing up would've given us away for sure, and ruined Rose's chance to fight Stan."

Everyone is quiet for a while before Mia giggles. "You called that a fight? She kicked his ass."  
Christian nods. "She completely obliterated him."  
Eddie adds: "Yeah that wasn't a fight, I'd describe it as.. an annihilation."  
Vasilisa shakes her head, trying to be the voice of reason. "There's no need to sound so excited about the whole thing, I'm sure Stan feels bad enough as it is."  
"I should hope so," I say quietly, but Christian hears and smirks at me. "Ah I knew you would agree with us. So tell us, how did it happen?"  
"There's not much to tell. I came up with a plan to test all guardians, similar to the field experience and Alberta thought it was a good idea. I thought Stan would make a good target, and I asked Rose and Emil to help me."  
Eddie snorts. "So basically, you set the whole thing up just so Rose could fight Stan?"  
I was hoping nobody would figure that out, but I guess that's just too much to ask for. "It's always a good idea to keep the guardians on their toes. We are the most important protection the Moroi have after all."  
Now Christian snorts. "Yep, you totally did it for Rose."

I don't bother answering him. I can't very well deny it, but it seems wrong to openly admit to it. Apparently that's all the confirmation they need though, because Christian and Eddie take one look at me and burst out laughing.  
Mia shoots Eddie a disapproving look before she says: "I think it's sort of romantic, setting this up just for her."  
Christian rolls his eyes. "Yeah, who cares about flowers and chocolate anyway. To Rosie, nothing says I love you like Stan Alto's ass on a silver platter."  
Eddie is finally in control of his laughter. "Well to be fair, I'd take a good fight over a box of chocolates any day. And that's without taking into account the hatred Rose felt towards Stan. So in my opinion, good going Belikov! Best.. gift.. ever!"  
I shake my head but I can't keep from smiling. "I'm so glad you all approve, I'm not sure how I would've survived without your support."  
Christian ignores my sarcastic tone and answers: "Well duh, the world would stop turning without our approval. Anyway, I'm almost done making dinner. Why don't you join us and you can tell us everything that happened at St. Vlads."

I spend the rest of the evening sitting at the kitchen table, describing our plans and the fight in detail, to general applause. Eddie asks me whether I made any progress with Rose, but the only thing I tell them is that she seems a little better. I'm not ready to tell anyone about our interactions over the past week, or yesterday's kiss, especially not before I talked to Roza. If anyone suspects there's more to the story, at least they don't push me to share it.

* * *

When I arrive for my shift next morning, the apartment is empty except for a tired-looking Vasilisa. Since everyone was still here when I left yesterday, I'm guessing they all had a late night. From the looks of it, Vasilisa might've had one or two more drinks than she should have. I hope Eddie had the sense not to overdo it, or he's going to have a difficult time during his patrol today.  
"Good morning Vasilisa."  
She winces. "Hey Dimitri. Would you mind keeping your voice down? I've got a bit of a headache."  
"Of course. Is there anything I can do for you?"  
"Could you grab me some painkillers from the bathroom?"  
"On it."

After taking a double dose of painkillers and drinking two glasses of water, Vasilisa decides to go back to bed and wait for her hangover to pass. I spend the next couple of hours reading the western I always have in my pocket. It's a great way to take my mind of everything and lose myself in the story. I've always loved reading. To me, it's not just a way to pass the time, but also a way to escape reality for a while.  
It's almost time for lunch when Vasilisa walks back into the room, looking a lot better than she did this morning.  
"Hey! I hope you haven't been too bored, I wasn't planning on sleeping this long."  
"It's no problem, you looked like you needed it. Did you have fun last night?"  
"I did, though I wish Rose could've joined us, it would've been just like old times. I texted her but she said she was going to go to bed because she had to work today."  
It's probably a wise move on Rose's part, seeing how the Princess looked this morning. Now that we're back at Court, we're instantly expected to return to our normal routine. In her case, that means she's back to wasting her talents by sitting at a desk all day. After seeing the way she interacted with the students last week and the way she fought Stan, the fact that Roza is on desk duty bugs me more than ever.

My thoughts are interrupted by a question. "Dimitri.. Is Rose really doing better?"  
I look at Vasilisa. She looks a little hesitant but also honestly worried about Rose. They've known eachother for a very long time and she really is one of her best friends, even if she didn't always act like it.  
"Yes, I think she is. She's not quite there yet, but I did see glimpses of her normal personality while we were at St. Vladimir's."  
Vasilisa lets herself drop on the couch, a look of relief on her face. "Thank god. Or well.. thank you. I know you've been doing whatever you can to help her recover."  
"Honestly, I'm not sure whether Rose is recovering because of me, or despite my presence. Sometimes I think it's the latter."  
"I'm sure that's not true Dimitri. She must've noticed how much you're doing for her."  
"I hope so Vasilisa."

A few minutes later she asks: "Do you.. do you think she'll forgive me?"  
I can see how much Vasilisa is hoping for me to tell her that of course she'll be forgiven. To be perfectly honest though, I can't guarantee that will be the case. Considering their longstanding friendship and the fact that Rose loves Lissa like a sister, I think eventually they will be okay. No matter her badass reputation, deep down Rose is one of the most selfless and caring people I know. However, Lissa's actions really hurt her. It might take a while, and some effort on Vasilisa's part, for their friendship to become as strong as it used to be.  
"I think the best thing you can do is reach out to Rose, let her know you're there for her, but if she asks for space or time, give her what she wants. Just because she's doing better, doesn't mean everything will be fixed instantly Princess."  
Vasilisa's shoulders sag a little. "You're right, but it's just.. I miss her."  
"And I'm sure she misses you as well. Give Rose the chance to make her own decisions for a while. Her whole life has been about others. Training to protect Moroi, preparing to be your guardian, protecting you both while you were away from the Academy and after you returned. Trying to save me..."

A sad smile appears on Vasilisa's face. "I never really considered that you know. I grew up with the idea that guardians are always there, and since Rose would be my guardian, she would always be part of my life. I never thought about all the things she'd be giving up or the fact that her life would be decided by whatever I wanted to do. Rose never complained about it, she never even mentioned it."  
I nod. "It's what we are trained to do Vasilisa. You come first. And for someone like Rose, it's not just a job, it's a calling. Even if she never would've completed her training, she would have followed you anywhere and protected you."  
"She's not my guardian anymore though, and it's unlikely she ever will be. I talked to Hans while you were gone, but at the moment he has no intentions of assigning her a different job. I don't think it's just because of her bad record either. I got the impression that until Queen Tatiana's real killer is caught, the fact that Rose was framed for it will always be held against her."

I never thought about that. As far as I'm concerned, Rose was proven innocent. However, with no other suspects, there's bound to be people who don't quite believe Rose isn't somehow responsible. After all, she was the only person who could be linked to the murder at all. So until we find out who does have Tatiana's blood on their hands, there will always be some Moroi who won't trust Rose. And as long as there are royals who don't trust her, there's no way Hans can give her an important position.  
"You might be right, but from what I've heard the investigation hit a dead end months ago."  
"I know, and if the guardians can't find who did it, I doubt anyone can."  
I nod, but I don't quite agree with Vasilisa. Yes, our guardians are excellent and are surely trying their best. But they must have missed something, some clue. Someone out there had a motive to do this, and until we find out who it was, it seems Rose is stuck in the office. Still being punished for something she didn't do.


	21. Chapter 20

**_Like always, thank you for the reviews! Not as many as previous chapters, I hope that's because you're all still stunned by the kiss and not because you got bored with where the story is going.  
Anyway, back at Court. Away from the familiar and safe environment at the Academy, back to where everything went wrong. If I was Rose, I might have a hard time dealing with it too._**

 _ **Have a lovely weekend everyone!**_

 **Chapter 20**

 **DPOV**

I've been thinking who could have killed Queen Tatiana, but I honestly don't know. I'm sure she had plenty of enemies, and some of her political adversaries had the motive to do it, but the point with royals is that they'd never get their hands dirty. One of them could have hired someone to do it, but a professional could've made it look like an accident, or would have made sure there was absolutely no evidence left behind. A professional wouldn't have framed Rose.  
I'm starting to think that might be the key to finding the killer. The guardians are focussed on who killed Tatiana and they're finding absolutely nothing. Too many people with the motive to do it, yet not enough evidence to connect any of them. But why would anyone frame Roza? What if, apart from getting Tatiana out of the way, whoever did this has a personal reason to blame it on Rose of all people.

As far as I know Rose doesn't have any enemies like that, except perhaps Victor Dashkov. Considering the fact that she broke him out of prison though, I doubt he hates her quite that much at the moment.  
During her time in Russia she did make a name for herself amongst the Strigoi, and I'm sure many of them would like to see her dead, but they'd go for a much more direct approach. Either kill Rose, or draw her out by taking Vasilisa like I did. Framing Rose calls for a subtlety and planning that they would never waste their energy on. Besides, if they'd try and get back at Roza, they'd want to see the results first hand. Getting her executed wouldn't satisfy their thirst for revenge.

Neither of those options seems likely, and also it doesn't quite add up. Whoever did this must be someone who knew Roza's routine at Court. Someone who knows her well enough to know that she had a stake with distinctive markings, and where she kept it. All in all, I come to the uncomfortable conclusion that the actual murderer must be someone who is fairly close to Rose. Which means it must be someone I know as well. But I can't think of any of our friends who would be capable of murder, or has a reason to dislike Roza. Perhaps some outsider just kept a very close watch on her before trying to use her as a scapegoat? I can't rule that out completely.

I'm not getting anywhere with this line of thinking. For now I just decide to keep my eyes open. If it is an outsider, the guardians are still our best bet at catching him. If it really is someone closer to Rose, which seems completely unlikely, they're still around and are bound to betray themselves at some point. If there is some hint that one of our aquintances is to blame, I'll be there to see it and to hold them accountable.

* * *

My first priority at the moment is to talk to Roza, and over the next few days I keep trying. Either she's really busy, or she's conciously avoiding me. I have no luck in finding her at her room, I don't run into her anywhere at Court, nor do I see any sign of her during my morning run or evening workouts. I would almost think she left Court again, but apparently Eddie has seen her, and Vasilisa talked to her on the phone a couple of times and met up with her once while I was off duty. It's incredibly frustrating. Not to mention the fact that I just got used to seeing Roza every day again, and suddenly going a few days without so much as a glimpse of her is putting me on edge.

We've been back at Court for almost a week when I finally see her again. As I walk into the gym on Friday evening, after a long day of accompanying Vasilisa to political meetings, I hear Roza's laughter. I would recognize that sound anywhere, and I've really missed it. My heart jumps a little and I look around to find her. When I finally see her, my heart stops altogether. Roza is standing with several guardians, boys close to her age mostly. They're talking and having fun. It's a similar scene to what I used to see in class, Rose making jokes and Mason, Eddie and a few others crowding around her.

I clench my fists and try to look calm and collected, but then I see Rose flip her hair over her shoulder and I feel my control slipping. I've been looking all over for her, wanting to talk about what happened. I've been worried about her. Yet here she is, flirting with a group of.. boys! I can see several of them eyeing her, probably trying to find the quickest way to get into her pants. She deserves so much better than some horny teenager who's just looking to get laid. Roza is the most amazing woman I know. She deserves better than the pain I've put her through, but I would do anything for her. I'm sure none of these kids have any idea how truly special she is. If any of them hurt her, they better hope they don't run into me in a quiet alley.

I was planning to do some weight training, but I turn sharply, changing my direction to the punching bags. Eddie is there and as I walk past him he sends me a sympathetic look, but I don't acknowledge him. I drop my bag, let my frustration take over and take it all out on the punching bag.

When I've gotten rid of most of my emotions I stop and head back in the direction of my room. It's close to sunrise and Court is quiet. I spot a bench in a deserted courtyard and sit down, trying to calm myself completely. I've always found it easier to think when I'm outside, rather than locking myself in my room. Maybe it's because I grew up in a house full of women and things were rarely quiet.

I think about Roza. I was so happy to hear her laughing. I've missed the sound of her laughter and seeing a smile on her face. When we first met she often found something to laugh about, even if it was just some lame joke, and it suited her much better than the serious and quiet woman she has been for the past months. But seeing her with those boys hurt, especially when I realize she really has been avoiding me since we returned from the academy. I know I made mistakes, but just the idea that some day one of these immature guys might get to kiss her is enough to make me see red. I much prefered Adrian, at least he's a decent guy and genuinely cares for Rose.

I take a deep breath, trying to control my temper. I suppose I should be glad that our time at St. Vladimir's seems to have made a difference. Rose is acting much more like her old self, and that does truly make me happy. Seeing her in the company of other men though, flirting and laughing.. Well that feels like she's kneed me in the groin all over again. Actually, it's even more painful than that. I wonder if this is a direct result of me kissing her. The time we spent together and that kiss clearly awakened some feelings withing her. But what if, rather than bring us closer together, it somehow confirmed for her that there's no way for us to work? What if she wants to move on and start fresh, without all the history and the drama that's connected to me?

I'm not sure what I should do next. Rose doesn't want to be around me at the moment and I should respect that. Should I leave or at least keep my distance so she can move on with her life? I shake my head at the thought. There's just no way I'm going to give up on Roza without a fight. At the very least I still want to find an opportunity to talk to her, to clear some things up. If, after that, she decides we're truly done, I'll give her the space she wants. I will always be around though, waiting to see if she changes her mind, or needs my help.

"Are you okay?"  
I nearly jump, I didn't realize someone else walked into the courtyard. Some guardian I am. Then I recognize the voice and that startles me even more. I look up into dark brown eyes. I'm speechless at the fact that she approaches me, so I just shrug in answer to her question.  
"Sooo.. I guess that means you're not."  
"No not really." There's no point in lying to Rose. She's always been able to read me in a way nobody else can. Besides, trying to keep my feelings hidden didn't do either of us any good in the past.

To my surprise she sits down next to me. She doesn't speak and for a while we just sit there, watching the sun come up over the horizon. It's such a peaceful moment, just me, Roza and the sunrise. Everything that happened, all the unresolved issues between us, it all fades away for a while and I enjoy the moment. At some point I look at her and I see she's leaned back and is basking in the sunlight. I do the same thing and it feels wonderful. Being out in the sun is still amazing to me after the time I spent as Strigoi.

I freeze for a second when I feel something on my shoulder, but when I open my eyes I find out Roza has leaned her head against it, her eyes still closed. I can barely breathe. This is the first time she instigated any contact between us since the church. Up until now, every interaction and conversation, as well as the kiss, was started by me. But tonight she made the decision to come to me, and she chose to make physical contact. I smile and relax, resting my head on top of hers.

When the sun is fully risen she sighs.  
"It's nice being out in the sun."  
"It is. It's still a little unreal to me. I should be used to it again by now, but after the times I've hidden from the sunrise, it's amazing to be able to see it in full."  
"I didn't really think of that." She sounds curious as she asks: "Does it feel different now than it used to? I'm sure you saw your fair share of sunrises at St. Vladimir's, between the patrols and training me at all hours."  
I give her question some honest thought before answering: "I've always loved the sunrise. But yes it feels different now. I used to take it for granted, something I could see whenever I wanted to. Now I'm thankful everytime I see it, and amazed at the beauty of it." I pause before adding: "I feel much the same when I see you."

She sits back up, and I instantly miss the feel of her head against my shoulder. "Dimitri.."  
"We need to talk Rose."  
"I.. yes we do.. But not now. Just give me some time.. please?" She sounds pleading, and when I look at her she doesn't meet my eyes but is looking at the ground instead.  
"If that's what you need, of course. I'll wait until you're ready Roza."  
She looks up at me, relief clearly visible on her face. "Thank you."  
I smile at her, before tilting my head back towards the sun again. We sit there in silence, watching the changing colors in the sky and our surroundings taking shape in the morning light. Rose doesn't say anything else, but after a few minutes she leans her head against my shoulder again. I can't keep myself from smiling widely. She might not be ready to talk to me yet, but at least she's not running away from me anymore.

Her hand is lying on the bench between us, and I can't resist moving my hand towards hers, feeling even happier when I touch it and she doesn't pull away. She even slips her hand into mine, intertwining our fingers. Then she gasps and I instantly worry I went too far, until she asks: "What happened to your hand?"  
I look down to where my hand is resting on hers and then I see the blood. My knuckles are split and there's bruising around them. I remember going straight for the punching bags when I entered the gym. In my haste to get rid of my anger and frustration, I completely forgot to wrap my hands or wear gloves.  
"It's nothing."  
She ignores this, lifting my hand to get a better look at it. To be honest it looks pretty bad, and now that I know it's there I'm starting to feel the sting.  
"Show me your other hand." Roza might've said it quietly, but it's clearly an order. I reluctantly hold up my other hand and we can both see it's even worse.  
"You should get that cleaned."  
"I'll do it when I get back to my room. Really Rose, it's fine. It looks worse than it feels."

She stands up and I inwardly curse myself. Roza was finally allowing me to be near her and now she got distracted because I was stupid enough to injure myself. I feel like an idiot. That is, until she tries to pull me up and says: "Come on, you don't want those wounds to close without disinfecting them."  
I'm too stunned to reply but I let her pull me up and she starts walking towards the nearest building, still holding my hand.

* * *

Rose keeps walking until we're outside her room. She opens the door, tells me to take a seat and disappears into the tiny bathroom. While she can't see me I use the opportunity to look around. I would've expected something much like her dorm room at the academy. Messy, with personal belongings all over the place and an unmade bed. Her room looks very similar to mine though, bed made, no clothes in sight. The only things that mark this room as hers is a stack of books about animal behaviour on the single bookshelf near the window, and two picture frames next to it. I can still hear Rose rumaging in the bathroom so I quickly walk over there to take a closer look at the pictures.

The frames themselves are dusty, like they were stashed away and nobody cleaned them in a long time. The glass has recently been wiped clean though, and I take a look at the first picture. I realize I've seen it before, back at the Academy. Rose and Vasilisa, wearing fairy costumes while smiling at the camera. If I recall correctly this was taken at Halloween while they were on the run. I turn to the second frame, curious to see who else earned a place up here, and see... myself. It's a picture of me and Roza, taken somewhere last year. Rose is laughing at me, and even though I'm clearly trying not to, the corners of my mouth are turned up while I look down at her. I don't remember this picture being taken. I pick up the frame and am so focussed on looking at it, that I don't notice Roza returning or walking over, until she speaks up right next to me.  
"Eddie gave it to me. He took pictures of everyone during our senior year, but after Mason died he didn't look at his camera for months. He found it again as he was packing up before moving to Court."

I look at her but she's as focussed on the picture as I was moments ago, a sad little smile on her face. She takes it out of my hands and carefully places it back on the shelf before saying: "I've got the first aid kit."  
"This really isn't necessary Rose, I'm fine."  
She rolls her eyes. "I know you grew up without access to modern medicine, but over here in the civilized world, we tend to think cleaning open wounds is a good idea. Sit."  
I let out a surprised laugh. If there's one thing I didn't see coming, it was one of Roza's jokes about my homeland. I sit down and she pulls up another chair, sits in front of me and starts to wipe away the blood with a wet cloth.  
"I know you know Siberia isn't stuck in the middle ages Rose."  
She shrugs and continues cleaning my wounds.

After cleaning and disinfecting my hands she takes a few bandages out of the kit. "Why didn't you wear wraps or gloves?"  
"I didn't think about it."  
She looks up from my hands, straight into my eyes. "That doesn't sound like you."  
"I was.. distracted.."  
She is still looking at me, as if trying to figure out how this could've happened. She is right after all, this isn't like me at all. I always used to tell her how important it was to be prepared, to use the proper precautions and equipment when training so she didn't injure herself. I know she isn't going to let it go, so I look down at my hands, one clean but obviously bruised, the other partially covered in bandages, and murmur: "I saw you, laughing with... anyway, I started working out without thinking about the wraps."

I continue to stare at my hands, ashamed of my unwarranted jealousy. It's really none of my business what Rose does or who she hangs out with. I gave up the right to have an opinion about it when I pushed her away. Rose doesn't answer, but after ten seconds or so she continues wrapping my hand. She picks up some new bandages before moving on to the other. "Thomas made a joke about one of the others and it was funny. That's all it was Dimitri, it didn't mean anything."  
Even though I had no right to be jealous, I am relieved to hear her reassuring me. I sneak a glance up at her, and as if she feels it, she looks up and hesitantly smiles at me.  
"You don't have to explain yourself to me Rose. I had no right to be upset about it. You should do whatever makes you happy."  
She looks back down, she's nearly finished with the bandages. "I'm happy to explain to you that what you saw didn't mean anything." She fastens the end of the binding but doesn't let go of my hand. "There, all done."

A lock of hair is hiding part of her face from me. Without thinking, I reach out and brush it back, carefully tucking it behind her ear. She looks up at me.  
"Thank you Roza."  
"You're welcome," she answers softly, our eyes still locked.  
We sit there, drinking eachother in, until I see her suppressing a yawn. It's getting really late and we both have to work tomorrow.  
I unwillingly let go of her hand and stand up. "I should go. Will I see you again soon? Maybe on my morning run?" I'm unsure of her answer, but I have to try.  
Rose gets up as well. "Yes, I'll see you soon."

I smile at her and quickly lean in and press my lips to her forehead. When I step back, her eyes are closed. I reluctantly turn around and move to the door. As I put my hand on the doorknob I hear a whisper behind me.  
"Dimitri?"  
I turn around to look at her. She's still standing in the same spot, her arms wrapped around herself. She looks strangely vulnerable. "Yes Roza?"  
"Would you mind.. Will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone." I'm momentarily stunned by her unexpected request. In the second it takes me to pull myself together I can already see her shoulders sagging and she starts turning away from me, as if she's expecting me to turn her down.

I walk back over to her and gently wrap my arms around her, leaning my head on top of hers. As I feel her relax a little and lean into me, I answer.  
"Of course I'll stay Roza. I will always be here if you want me to, you only have to ask."


	22. Chapter 21

**_You guys are amazing! I never had that many reviews to a single chapter before, and I loved reading your thoughts._**

 ** _I wanted to post this chapter sooner, but I had another story stuck in my head which demanded to be finished first. I posted a one shot yesterday and I would love to hear your thoughts on that as well._**

 _ **Anyway, time to get on with this story and see what Rose and Dimitri are upto.  
**_

 **Chapter 21**

 **DPOV**

I wake up early the next morning, feeling more rested than I have in months. I think this is the first time I slept through the night, without nightmares, since my restoration. We didn't talk any further last night, we just got into bed and I fell asleep with Roza in my arms. Right now she's cuddled up against my side, her head on my shoulder and my arm around her. I can't believe she's here, that she allowed me to stay, wanted me to stay even.

I check the time and see I don't have to get up for at least another half an hour, so I relax and look at Roza. That's when I realize that I didn't just wake up because I had been sleeping for a long time already, but also because Roza is restless. Apparently her sleep isn't as peaceful as mine was. She tosses and turns, and then she grips my shirt and whimpers: "Don't.. please... You can't... Please don't leave..."  
My heart breaks as I hear her words. I pull her a little closer to me, brush her hair out of her face and try to wake her. "Roza, wake up. You're okay, everything is okay."  
It takes me a few more tries, stroking her hair and talking to her quietly, before she opens her eyes. I can feel her body tensing and her eyes are wild.  
"I'm right here Roza, you're okay. I'm not leaving you."

I can still see the haunted look in her eyes, but she relaxes a little at the sound of my voice. She burries her head in my chest and I wrap both my arms around her protectively, murmuring into her ear in Russian until her breathing slows down. Eventually she pulls away from me a little and looks up. I'm still worried about her, but I try not to show it as I ask "Are you alright?"  
"Yes, it was nothing. Just a bad dream."  
She sounds convincing, but she's not looking me straight in the eye and I know she's hiding something from me. I don't think now is the time to push her on it though and I pull her closer to me again. After a few minutes I tell her: "I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything. Maybe it'll help with the nightmares."  
"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

The little conversation we had so far this morning seems forced and I'm not sure where to go from here. For now I just decide to stay where I am. We'll have to get up eventually, but I'm not ready to let her go just yet. Being here with Rose, holding her in my arms, it's the best feeling in the world to me. Since she seems content to stay like this as well, I allow myself to hope that she feels the same way.

I soon lose myself in the feel of her body next to mine. The smell of her hair, the way her breasts press against me with just two thin layers of fabric between us, the strip of exposed skin I can feel where my hand is resting on the small of her back, her bare legs entangled with mine. My breathing hitches and I'm a bit embarrassed to feel my body responding to her in other ways. I hope Rose doesn't notice, but considering the way her body is pressed against mine, I probably won't be that lucky.  
It's not that I don't want her to know that I find her attractive. She's stunning, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I just don't want her to think that that's the only reason I stayed. I would be perfectly happy if Roza would allow me to hold her like this every day, without ever expecting anything more from her.

I stare at the wall and try to think about other things, willing my body to calm down. Absentmindedly I start playing with Roza's hair, running my fingers through the silky strands. Right when I think I'll be okay and Roza hasn't noticed my earlier excitement, she starts trailing her fingers down my back and I can't suppress a moan. She goes still for a second, but just as I'm about to apologize, she continues running her fingers up and down my back. I look at her, and as our gazes lock, a jolt of electricity seems to pass between us.

I raise myself up on my elbow, looking down at her and I move my hand from her hair to her cheek. She briefly closes her eyes at my touch, before looking back at me, her eyes dark with passion. In that moment I know I haven't got a chance of resisting, but I don't want to make the same mistake as I did at the academy, so I ask: "May I kiss you?"  
Roza holds my gaze for a moment before a smile appears on her lips. "Since when do you ask for permission?"  
I don't know how to reply, but it doesn't matter because Rose bites her lip and then nods at me. I instantly close the distance between us and softly brush my lips against hers. Apparently that's not what she wants, because she reaches up to the back of my neck, twining her fingers in my hair and pulling me closer.

Our kiss might have started hesitantly on my part, but what starts out gentle and careful soon turns hungry and heated. I lose myself in our kiss, in the feel of Roza against me, my hands all over her body just like hers are all over mine. This time she doesn't stop or pull away, and before I know it, both of our shirts have come off and we're down to our underwear. I stop kissing Roza for a moment and stare at her in admiration as I run my fingers over her silky smooth skin.  
When I look back into her eyes, I can see the fire and passion that matches mine, but I also catch a brief glimpse of uncertainty. I realize that while Rose might want to do this at the moment, she isn't ready and she might regret it later.

I pull away from her and say: "Roza, we shouldn't.."  
She stiffens and asks: "Why not? Don't you want me?"  
"Of course I want you! Trust me, that's not the problem." I would've thought that was obvious. She only needs to take a look at me to see how much I want her.  
"Then what is?"  
"No matter how much I want to be with you, we need to talk before we go any further Roza."  
"Seriously? You get me half-naked and then you suddenly decide you want to talk instead? Are you kidding me?"  
"Rose.."  
"I knew I shouldn't have trusted you, I knew something would happen and you would just leave me again." Is that what she thinks I'm doing? That I'm using the need to talk as an excuse to get away from her, never to return?  
"Roza, I'm not.."  
"Don't call me that! Get out! Out!"

Rose pushes me off the bed and then starts shoving me out of the room. I try to reason with her, but she doesn't listen and just keeps telling me to go. I think about physically restraining her and making her listen to me, but considering how upset she is, that would probably do more harm than good. Finally I lift my hands in surrender and say: "If you really want me to go, I'll go Rose. But don't you believe for a second that I'm leaving you because I want to."  
"I don't care. Go." She opens the door and pushes me out, throws my clothes after me and slams the door in my face.

* * *

As I'm standing in the hallway, still trying to process what just happened and how I ended up in this situation, someone calls to me from the end of the hall: "Dimka! What happened to you?"  
I quickly pull on my jeans "I'm not... " and my t-shirt "Sure."

A noise from the other side of the hall draws my attention. I didn't think this could get any worse, but Adrian is standing there and snorts at me. "You're not sure?"  
"Uhm.. well.. I was with Rose."  
"Yes I figured, since you're standing outside her door. The question is, why are you outside?"  
"She.. asked me to leave."  
"Naked?" He sounds amused.  
"I wasn't naked!" Though I was close. It's bad enough that Tasha saw me in my state of undress, but hopefully Adrian arrived later than she did and didn't see exactly how little clothing I had been wearing.  
"Close enough from what I saw." He grins. Damnit, luck really isn't on my side this morning.

Tasha has been growing more and more indignant. "She did what? Why were you even here Dimka? Rose is unstable, everyone knows that."  
"Don't talk about Rose like that Tasha, there's nothing wrong with her."  
The last thing I need right now is Tasha insulting Rose and telling me I'm better off without her. She already told me so once, one of the many times she came to see me after my restoration. She was just trying to support me, but I'm not interested in her opinion, and honestly, my relationship with Rose is none of her business. It's complicated enough without someone else interfering.  
I've put on my shoes by now and straighten up. I send one last lingering look at the door before I leave, Tasha following right behind me. When we're halfway down the hall I hear Adrian knocking on Rose's door, still chuckling.

We make it to the stairwell before Tasha says: "You shouldn't have been there, that girl is messed up enough as it is."  
"I told you, Rose is fine."  
"Yeah she's absolutely fantastic. Which is why she kicked you out in a fit of rage," she says sarcastically. "Honestly, I like her, but she needs help."  
I abruptly turn around and face her angrily. "Do _not_ talk about Rose like that Tasha. You have no idea what you're talking about and I suggest you drop it."  
"Fine! I was only trying to help," she says indignantly, but there's something in her tone that makes me think she's not being completely honest.  
"I need to get ready for work, I'll see you later." I leave without waiting for her answer, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible.

When I get to my room, the first thing I do is take a cold shower. My traitorous body hasn't quite caught up to recent events, and I need to cool off and get my mind cleared up. I need to think.  
After my shower I prepare for work, but it's still early and I drop down on my bed, wondering how on earth things got so messed up, in such a short of amount of time. I wonder what I could've done differently to keep the situation from escalating, but honestly, I don't think it would've mattered what I did. If I hadn't stopped us, if we had made love, it wouldn't have been right. I want Roza to trust me again before we go down that road, to be sure she wants to be with me. Considering the uncertainty I saw in her eyes, that's not the case at the moment, and there is actually a chance she would have regretted it afterwards. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to her.  
Obviously stopping us when I did wasn't the best move either. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I can't believe Rose thought I didn't want to be with her though, that I wanted to leave.

Wait.. what was it she said before I woke her from her nightmare? I think back.. _"Don't.. please... You can't... Please don't leave..."  
_ There's several things that could mean, but what if.. What if she was dreaming about me?  
Looking back, I did leave her on several occassions, though not always voluntarily. I almost left her last year, when I considered taking Tasha's offer. After the cabin, when we gave into our feelings and I finally admitted to Rose that I loved her, I told her we could be together. But I was taken away from her within hours, leaving her on her own. When I was restored, I broke her heart, trying to move on with my life and leaving her to pick up the pieces.

I jump up from the bed, my shift completely forgotten. I have to go to Rose, to tell her I won't leave her again, that I'm here to stay. I have to.. My thoughts are interrupted by a buzzing sound from my phone, announcing the arrival of a text. I instantly check it, just in case it's from Rose.

 _She's okay, just left to go to work. Leave her be for now. Talk soon, I suggest you go to bed early.  
_ _Adrian_

It seems talking to Rose will have to wait. I'm glad Adrian was there for her when she needed him, though I wish it hadn't been necessary in the first place. I look at the time and leave my room, making my way over to Vasilisa's apartment for another long shift. Hopefully work will distract me from the mess I once again made.

* * *

That night I'm exhausted, so I turn in early. At first I'm having a very pleasant dream, picking up where I stopped us this morning, but suddenly Rose's room disappears and I'm standing on a porch, surrounded by snowy mountains. The resort where we spent Christmas break.  
"Evening cradle robber."  
Adrian. I had forgotten all about his text and about the fact that dreamwalking is one of the things spirit allows him to do.  
"That's twice in one day. I'm starting to think you're not big on clothing, and really, I had no idea you'd be so excited to see me. I'd be flattered, but to be perfectly honest, it's a little disturbing."  
I look down and realize I'm standing there in just my boxershorts, in the same state as I was in my previous dream. "Damn it Adrian, could you give me some clothes?" I suppose I should count myself lucky that he didn't show up a few minutes later.

He smirks. "I don't know, it would be interesting to see if you can get frostbite in a dream. I've always wondered, and now seems as good a time as any to find out. You'll make an excellent test subject."  
"If you would like to know if injuries sustained in dreams carry through when you wake up, I'm sure I can think of an easier way to test that and save us both a lot of time," I say threateningly.  
"Jeez, relax Dimitri, don't get your panties in a twist.." Adrian shoots me another grin and I glare at him. Sadly that doesn't stop him from saying: "I'm just messing with you, that's the naked truth!"  
I advance on him, and he backs away. "I'll do it, just give me a second! Don't get so worked up, man, I'm just busting your balls."

A look of concentration appears on his face and when I look down again I'm dressed in jeans and a sweater.  
"Thank you. That wasn't so hard was it?"  
Adrian snorts. "Really Dimitri? Hard is your choice of word for the day?"  
His childish behaviour is starting to get to me, I really don't feel like listening to more of this lame jokes. "How about we test your theory Adrian? How would you like to wake up with a black eye tomorrow?"  
"Oh come on.. I would've expected you to see the funny side of this situation. Where's your sense of humor? Left it with your clothes did you?"  
"Possibly. Unlike you I don't usually need my sense of humor when I get undressed."  
His eyes widen in mock hurt "Ouch, that's hitting below the belt Belikov."  
I raise my eyebrow. "Are you done?"  
"Probably. Unlike you, I can finish what I started." He wiggles his eyebrows.  
"If you're going to keep going on like this, just let me go back to sleep Ivashkov. I don't have the patience for this."  
"Fine, fine, I'll drop it."

He leans against the wall and lights a cigarette before he turns serious and tells me: "Don't worry too much about Rose, you didn't mess up."  
I sigh in defeat. "Yes I did. She kicked me out, thinking I didn't want her."  
"Trust me, she knows you want her." He chuckles. "Everyone who saw you this morning knows. Rose is just insecure, and afraid you're going to hurt her again. You can't blame her for having a hard time believing you truly love her, after what you told her a few months ago. Give her some time, show her she can trust you and that you're here to stay."

It's similar to the advice I gave Vasilisa last week and I decide to listen to him. "I will. How was she when you got there?"  
"She had tears running down her face.."  
"дерьмо́!" I can't believe I made her cry, how am I ever going to make things up to Rose if I keep upsetting her?  
"Hey, let me finish! She was crying from laughter. She felt bad for kicking you out so scantily dressed and went to let you back in. That's when she heard voices though and she witnessed the whole scene in the hallway through the peephole. She was still gasping for breath when she opened the door for me."  
Great, someone else who witnessed my humiliation. I sigh again."Well I'm glad something made her smile this morning."

There's not much more to be said so we lapse into silence. I'm just about to ask Adrian to release me from the dream when he asks: "Oh by the way, how did things go with little miss Envy?"  
"What do you mean?"  
He looks at me in surprise. "Tasha. You do know how she feels about you, don't you?"  
"She might have had feelings for me at some point, but that's all in the past. We're just friends."  
Adrian snorts. "Yeah right. I saw Tasha's aura when she saw you outside Rose's room. I think the last time I saw an aura turn that green was when you caught Rose in my room at the resort. Are you telling me you thought of Rose as 'just a friend' back then?"  
"Well no, but things were complicated at the time. I'm sure you're wrong Adrian, I explained to Tasha why I couldn't take her offer and we've been on good terms ever since."

Adrian shrugs. "If you say so. It doesn't really matter anyway. It's not like she can get Rose out of the way permanently, so even if you're wrong she'll just have to deal with it."  
I look at him but he's busy stamping out his cigarette. "Well, it was nice talking to you Dimitri, but I should get going. You don't seem at risk of developing frostbite, and there's bound to be someone out there who I do actually want to spend my night with."

The dream dissolves around me and I wake up. It's good to know that Rose is okay and was actually laughing at what happened. Hopefully that means I'm forgiven and she won't try to hurt me the next time I see her. I think about the rest of the dream, and remember what Adrian said about Tasha. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking she no longer has feelings for me. Adrian has no reason to lie about what he saw in her aura.

There's something about his final comment about Tasha that makes me uncomfortable though. Adrian might not be able to think of a way to get Rose out of the picture permanently, but isn't that exactly what someone tried to do by framing her for murdering Queen Tatiana? If Rose had been found guilty, she would have spent the rest of her life in jail, or, worst case scenario, she would've been executed. Either way, she would no longer have been part of my life, I would never have seen her again.  
But Tasha wouldn't do that, would she? I know she can be tenacious when it comes to obtaining what she wants, relentless even, but surely she wouldn't sacrifice a young woman, the woman I love no less, for her own personal gain? I refuse to believe my friend, a woman I've known for years, would do something like that.

And yet.. Wasn't I thinking just a few days ago that whoever framed Rose had to be someone close to her? Someone who wanted to get back at her personally?  
With Queen Tatiana out of the picture, Tasha might have a better chance at pushing her own political agenda. Since Christian is dating Vasilisa, she might be able to influence her, especially if Rose isn't around. And with my Roza out of the way, maybe Tasha thought I'd move on eventually and give her a chance? No surely not. She wouldn't.

Whoever murdered the Queen and came up with the plan to frame Rose, is intelligent and sly, stopping at nothing to get what they want, willing to do whatever is necessary and overcome any obstacle to reach their goals.

I sit up in bed, coming to the daunting realization that that description fits Tasha Ozera perfectly.

* * *

 ** _Author's note: I already had this chapter planned for a while and I'm so excited it's finally here! I did have a very hard time writing it though, it was difficult to find the right words to describe the scene as I pictured it in my head. Nonetheless, I hope you all liked it._**

 ** _Progress for progress's sake must be discouraged.. Wait, wrong book!  
_** ** _Two steps forward, one step back?_**

 ** _Either way, you guys didn't think I was going to suddenly make it easy on Dimitri right? Apart from the fact that I enjoy torturing him, I still think they have a lot of stuff to work out between them. Also, we still have a murderer to catch, and I needed a way to point Dimitri in the right direction._**

 ** _Rose kicking Dimitri out of her room might seem a little random or OOC, but she has been insecure around him before, and I think him pushing her away would've made that quite a bit worse. Of course, Rose, being who she is, would try to cover that up by either bravado or anger, and the latter seemed more likely in this scenario.  
Ah well, I'm sure a little humiliation isn't going to kill Dimitri ;)  
_**


	23. Chapter 22

_**Yes, finally a clue! Or at least, Dimitri finally saw one. I do always feel a little bad for him when it comes to Tasha's betrayal. It's not like he has that many friends to begin with.**_

 _ **Thanks again for all your lovely reviews and the still growing amount of favorites/follows. When I started writing this story I never expected so many people would be interested in reading it, and knowing that you're all waiting for the next update really keeps me going.**_

 _ **Enjoy your weekend everyone!**_

 **Chapter 22**

 **DPOV**

Sleep evades me for the rest of the night. I have a very difficult time wrapping my head around the idea that one of my oldest friends is capable of framing my Roza, without any guarantee that it would get her the results she so desperately wanted. However, the longer I think about it, trying to somehow convince myself that I must be mistaken, the more I'm starting to realize that it could very well be true. Getting both Roza and Tatiana out of the way would certainly help Tasha. She's also smart enough to plan something like this and was close enough to Rose and her friends to have the knowledge necessary to pull it off. I have no evidence whatsoever that connects Tasha to this whole debacle, but I have a gut feeling that she was at the very least involved, and more than likely even single-handedly responsible.

At four in the morning I finally give up, get out of bed and go for a run. While I always like to go for an early run, this is much earlier than my usual time and I know I won't have a chance of running into Roza. Maybe it's better that way, I do have some things to figure out before I talk to her. She knows me too well and she would definitely notice something isn't right. Before I tell her about Tasha, I somehow have to find a way to confirm my suspicions. I can't do this on my own, but other than Roza, I can't think of anyone else I can trust to help me figure this out. While I'm running I go through all my acquitances in my head, until I finally come up with a name. It's not someone I would normally put my faith in, but when it concerns Rose, I know he'll do whatever it takes.

* * *

An hour later I find myself at the door to one of the larger apartments in guest housing. I take a deep breath and steel myself before knocking. To my surprise, Abe Mazur opens the door himself, curiousity showing on his face when he sees me. "Yes boy?"  
"Mr. Mazur.. uhm Abe, I was hoping I could talk to you."  
A voice floats in from another room. "Ibrahim, who is bothering you at this ungodly hour?"  
Abe grins "Come see for yourself aşkım ."  
It's a good thing I have my guardian mask firmly in place, because I'm shocked to see a small woman with auburn hair walking into my line of sight. If she's here at this time... I wonder if Rose is aware her parents are still on apparently very friendly terms.

Abe invites me in and I follow him to the kitchen. He offers me breakfast, but I decline and only accept a cup of coffee, before all three of us sit down at the table.  
"So why are you here Belikov?"  
"I need your help."  
Abe looks at me intently before smiling, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "You do know my help comes at a cost, don't you boy? Are you sure you're willing to pay?"  
I haven't told him why I'm here yet, so I guess I should have expected something like this. Considering the fact that this is about his daughter, I'm sure he'll help whether I promise him anything in return or not, but it doesn't matter. I'd do whatever he asks me to anyway, as long as it helps Rose, so my answer is simple. "Yes."  
"Hmm very interesting. You're not the type who would normally ask for a favor, or give me a blank cheque. I assume that means your visit is related to Rose?"  
I nod and he leans back in his chair before looking at Janine, who's been quiet upto this point.  
She raises one eyebrow at me, a gesture that would've been sure to annoy Rose if she was here, and says: "Explain."

I take a sip of my coffee before I say: "I was talking to Adrian earlier about what happened outside Rose's room yesterday, and something he said bothered me."  
"What happened outside Rose's room?", Abe asks.  
Crap, I didn't actually mean to mention that, especially not to her parents. I've been so preoccupied by Tasha's betrayal that I started talking without thinking it through properly.  
"It's kind of a long story," I say evasively while slightly shifting in my chair. Of course Abe notices and becomes very interested in my discomposure. Great, there's just no way he's going to let this go until he knows the whole story. He immediately proves me right when he says: "We've got time, start talking."

"Okay. Well... You see, I was with Rose yesterday."  
I"m expecting Abe to reply, but Janine is the one who growls: "You were with my daughter? In her room?"  
"Yes."  
She narrows her eyes and is about to speak when Abe puts his hand on her arm and stops her. "Jeanie, let him talk. You can always hurt him after we've heard the full story, it'll save time." I try to keep a hold of my blank expression. Jeanine might think Abe's comment is reassuring, but I'm starting to feel decidedly uncomfortable. Abe adds conversationally: "I suggest you tell us everything Dimitri, I do so enjoy a good story."  
"So uhm... Rose threw me out of her room yesterday morning. I wasn't quite dressed at the time."  
Janine stares me down but I swear Abe is trying to hold back laughter. "She kicked you out? What did you do?"  
"Nothing, I swear! She asked me to stay the night before. Things got a little... heated after we woke up, but I told her we had to talk before.. Well, you know.. Anyway, she got upset and pushed me out of the door, throwing my clothes after me."

This has to be the most embarrassing conversation I have ever had. I've never felt this self-concious in my life. At least if Roza and I were officially together.. Well that would've made it a little better I suppose. I mean, this is a situation I would definitely prefer not to discuss with my girlfriend's parents, but discussing it with her parents when they know things have been difficult between us, and that we're not actually together.. And if those parents are Zmey and Janine Hathaway.. I think I just signed my own death warrant.

The room is completely silent before Abe breaks into full-blown laughter. "Ah that's our girl. She takes after you Janine, you should be proud."  
Janine turns her stare on Abe but he keeps laughing, completely unaffected by her obvious disapproval."I would never do anything like that Ibrahim."  
"Really aşkım? I seem to remember a similar occassion about twenty years ago, only I was the one being kicked out in just my boxers, and someone refused to give me the rest of my clothes." He looks me up and down. "Of course, I had nothing to be ashamed of. I got quite a bit of attention walking back to my own place at the time."  
"Ibrahim!" If I wasn't sure Janine Hathaway was incapable of something so very ordinary, I could've sworn she was blushing.

Abe is still grinning as he turns back to me. "Sorry about that Belikov, let's get back to the point shall we? You were going to tell us about a conversation with Adrian?"  
"Yes. After Rose kicked me out, I ran into Tasha Ozera in the hallway outside her room, and Adrian showed up as well. I left, and so did Tasha, but Adrian went to see Rose. He contacted me later to let me know she was alright."  
"I'm glad to hear that, as were you I'm sure or you wouldn't have had the nerve to come here, but that still doesn't explain why you are here."  
I take a deep breath before getting to the crux of the matter. "Adrian mentioned something that unsettled me and got me thinking. Have you given any thought to the person who tried to frame Rose?"

They both stiffen before Abe answers: "Of course I have. Several of my more trustworthy associates are looking into it. They've come up empty handed so far, but they're still searching for clues. I don't care how long it takes, or how deeply the evidence is buried, I will find out who did this to my daughter."  
The threat in his voice is obvious and it makes me realize how lucky I am that I'm on the same side as Ibrahim Mazur, rather than going against him. Janine asks: "Did you have a reason for bringing this up Belikov?"  
"I do. I've been wondering lately why someone picked Rose to be the scapegoat, and I've come to the conclusion that the reason is probably personal."

Abe regards me shrewdly but doesn't speak. Janine however, answers immediately. "I'm aware of my daughter's temper and shortcomings, but I seriously doubt Rosemarie made any enemies who are capable of doing this."  
I chance a look at Abe. I can tell he doesn't quite agree and I would hazard a guess that he is aware of Roza's more recent interactions with Victor Dashkov. He's probably already looked into him though, and I've ruled Dashkov out as well.  
"I don't mean personal as in revenge, but as in possible personal gain. Getting Rose out of the way would leave the people close to her more vulnerable."  
They're quiet for a moment as they digest my words, before Abe looks me straight in the eye. "I assume you have someone in mind, or you wouldn't bring this up."  
I nod before I tell him: "Tasha Ozera."

Janine looks shocked and I don't blame her, but Abe considers my words before nodding. "It's certainly a possibility I hadn't considered. Would you mind explaining how you came to that conclusion? What exactly did Adrian say?"  
"Adrian mentioned seeing envy in Tasha's aura, quite a lot of it actually." I adress Janine: "As you are probably aware, she offered me a position with certain err.. benefits last year. Adrian thinks she still has feelings for me, but made a joke about it not being important, since it wasn't like Tasha could get rid of Rose permanently. And well.. It made me wonder whether maybe that's exactly what she tried to do."  
Zmey narrows his eyes at me. "So basically, you're telling me that it's all your fault?"  
As much as I would like to deny it, he's right. There's a good chance I'm, at least partially, to blame for Roza being framed. I'm about to say as much when Janine says: "Ibrahim, let him finish. Dimitri, you mentioned personal gain earlier. Do you think Tasha did this, just to get to you? Don't you think that's a little excessive?"

"I think that's part of it, but I also think there's more to it than that," I agree with her, before explaining: "Tasha would benefit from both Tatiana's death and Roza's convinction in more ways than one. She had been butting heads with Tatiana for years about the way dhampirs are treated, as well as her belief that Moroi should learn how to fight and learn offensive magic, something Tatiana was strongly opposed to. A new monarch would probably make it easier on Tasha to push her own political views."  
Abe and Janine both nod in agreement and I continue: "Also, Tasha's nephew is dating the Dragomir princess, which allows Tasha access to an important and influential royal. Christian trusts her implicitly, and Tasha could use that to her advantage to manipulate Vasilisa. If the Princess would support her plans, that could make a major difference."  
Janine pales and whispers: "But Rose is close to Vasilisa and very protective of her. She would never allow anyone to use her like that. Not even Christian's aunt."  
"Indeed. And without Rose, Vasilisa would be vulnerable. Both because of the loss of her closest friend, but also because we can't be sure how the loss of the bond between them might affect her. She would turn to the few people close to her. Most of them are teenagers, except Adrian but he isn't interested in politics. And Tasha."

Abe growls at me: "And then there's you."  
"Yes. Tasha knew about my feelings for Rose. When I turned down her offer I told her my heart was elsewhere, and I'm sure it didn't take her long to figure out who exactly I was talking about. It might have occurred to her that if Rose wouldn't be around, I'd move on eventually, and she could have another chance. Tasha can be single minded when it comes to getting what she wants."  
"Would it have worked?"  
I shake my head. "No. Nobody can replace Rose, whether she's here or not."

Abe stares me down but I face him without flinching. After a minute or so, Janine decides to ignore our staring contest and says: "I think you might be on to something Dimitri. So what kind of help do you need?"  
Abe finally turns his eyes away from me and tells Janine: "I'd say that's obvious. I'll make Natasha disappear and punish her for what she did to our little girl. Trust me, she'll regret what she did by the time I'm done."  
I shake my head. "That's actually not why I came to you Abe. I need your help finding proof that Tasha is the real culprit, so we can have her arrested."  
He looks back at me with a deadly glint in his eyes. "I would prefer to handle this myself."  
"I understand, but dealing with Tasha like that won't help Rose. As long as the real murderer hasn't been caught, a lot of people will continue to think Rose was involved somehow. The fact that she was implicated in the first place is part of the reason she's still on desk duty. Rose will never be assigned a charge as long as there are royals who believe she's capable of murder."  
Janine rests a hand on Abe's arm. "He's right Ibrahim. The only way to clear Rosemarie's name completely, is by having the real killer caught and tried."

"Fine. I'll have some of my men investigate Natasha's actions around that time and see if we can uncover any evidence of her involvement. But if we are unable to prove what really happened, I will deal with Natasha Ozera in a way I see fit."  
I suppose that's as good as I'll get, and honestly. "Thank you."  
"Don't thank me, I'm doing this for Rose. I want her to have the future she's always wanted and I'll be damned if I let someone like Natasha Ozera get in the way of that. I don't suppose you have any clue where we could start our search?"  
"No." But as I answer him, one of Tasha's visits after my restoration pops into my head. "Wait, maybe I do. Tasha mentioned a guardian she was dating a couple of months ago."  
"Ah yes, I heard about that. Guardian Moore."  
Janine interjects: "Ethan Moore? One of the palace guards?"  
"Is he really?" At Janine's answering nod Abe continues: "That is a promising lead indeed."

I check my watch. We have been talking for a very long time and I have a shift coming up. "I should get going, Vasilisa will be waiting for me. Thank you both for hearing me out."  
Janine shakes my hand. "Thank you for telling us of your suspicions Dimitri and for trying to clear Rose's name. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye on what's best for her, but I can tell you care."  
I look her straight in the eye as I say: "I more than care, I love Rose."  
Janine doesn't look at all pleased to hear this, but before she can say anything Abe puts his arm around my shoulder and says: "Yes, we do appreciate you coming to us Belikov, I'll see you out shall I?"

As we walk towards the door Abe quietly tells me: "You're brave boy, I'll give you that. Suicidal, sure, but brave."  
"How so sir?"  
He chuckles. "Telling Janine you love Rose like that. You didn't think Rose got her temper from me did you? And I'm telling you, Janine isn't particularly fond of you after the chat you had a while ago."  
He claps me on the shoulder as we reach the door. "It was excellent seeing you again Dimitri. I'll be in touch when I've got more information, but it might take a few days. In the meantime, I believe I've got some sites to check out in the vicinity of Court. You never know, I might have to send someone a map in the near future."  
I smile at the reference to our last conversation. Honestly, if Abe comes through and we catch Tasha, I might consider getting him a book on medieval torture methods as a thank you.


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

 **DPOV**

The morning passes quickly after my meeting with Abe and Janine. When I get to Vasilisa's apartment, she's already having breakfast with Christian and they invite me to join them. When we're done, I help Christian with the dishes before we head to church for Sunday services. Between being reinstated and trying to improve my relationship, or lack of it, with Roza, I haven't spent much time in church recently. I sit at the back, keeping an eye on Vasilisa as she listens intently to the sermon, while I allow my mind to wander.

Much to my mother's disappointment I'm not particularly religious, but after my first kill I started spending more time at church and I've rarely missed services since. My first thoughts while being in a church have been the same for years. I think back on the Strigoi I killed. I don't regret those kills, they were necessary and made sure other people remained safe. Still, the men and women I killed were alive once, and they deserve to be remembered.

Ever since I've been restored, my next thoughts go out to the all lives I took while I was Strigoi myself. This list is much longer but I try hard to remember each and every live I have taken. At first it was mostly about remembering that I was evil, a way of punishing myself for everything I had done. But as I'm sitting here now, I'm starting to realize that while I'm not at peace with the fact that so many died by my hand, I have accepted that I can't change the past and that I had no more control over the fates of these innocent people than I had over my own. It's a strangely liberating thought, and it allows me to focus on the lives that were lost, rather than the way they were taken.

After thinking about death, eventually my thoughts turn to living. To the fact that I am here, that I have another chance at life and that I'm finally starting to allow myself to live it. I still have a lot of regrets, but slowly but surely, I'm starting to deal with my past and I think I'm improving. I wonder if I would've recovered sooner if I hadn't pushed Roza away. I only really started getting better when she became a part of my life again. I guess we'll never know where either of us would've been if I had reacted differently after my restoration. There's no use in getting hung up on what-if's.

Roza.. She has been improving lately as well. We still have a long way to go, and I'm not sure whether she'll ever be able to forgive me, but at least we're moving forward with our lives. I don't know where we'll be a week, or a month, or a year from now, but at least our recent interactions, apart from her kicking me out, have given me some hope that wherever we'll be, she will be a part of my life. I haven't heard from her since I left her room yesterday though, so there is always the chance that I've destroyed any progress I made. I'll try and find her after my shift, hopefully she'll be at the gym but otherwise I'll stop by her room.

* * *

After church Vasilisa informs me that she's planning to go to lunch at one of the restaurants at Court. I dutifully follow her, not particularly interested in who she'll be meeting, assuming it'll be another royal and another hour or two filled with talk about Moroi politics. When we get to the restaurant I'm surprised to hear Vasilisa squeal in excitement, until I notice the person waiting for her outside. Apparently I do not have to wait until tonight to see Roza. She waves at Vasilisa and when we walk over to her the girls hug eachother tightly. It seems they are mending their friendship and I'm happy for both of them. Rose patiently waits for Vasilisa to release her and shoots me a tentative smile before walking into the restaurant.

I spend the next hour sitting two tables down from Vasilisa and Rose, keeping an eye on them but unable to follow their conversation. I know Rose is capable of protecting the Princess, and I want to give them some privacy. Eventually Lissa excuses herself for a moment and motions for me to stay put. I hesitate before eventually deciding to follow her order. It goes against my instincts to allow her to go anywhere without a guardian, but we are at Court and I can't say I'm particularly comfortable with escorting her to the ladies bathroom.

As soon as Vasilisa is out of sight, Rose catches my attention and points at the chair Vasilisa has just deserted. I raise my eyebrow in question and her eyes narrow a little, but still she beckons me over. I take the seat and try to find something to say. She seems to be having the same problem, and after about half a minute I blurt out: "I'm sorry."  
I'm stunned back into silence by the fact that she spoke up at the exact same time as I did, saying the exact same words. After another awkward moment we both laugh, breaking some of the tension between us.

"I truly am sorry about yesterday Rose."  
She shakes her head. "It wasn't your fault, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions the way I did."  
"It is my fault. I have given you plenty of reasons not to trust me. If you had trusted me, you wouldn't have reacted that way."  
"Maybe, but either way I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I'm sorry about kicking you out like that."  
"Don't worry about it." I grimace. "At least Adrian got a good laugh out of it."

She smiles mischievously. "You should've seen your face while you were struggling to get dressed. I didn't know it was possible to unsettle the ever stoic Guardian Belikov like that."  
I narrow my eyes at her a little. "Adrian told me you were watching. You could've helped me out you know, invited me back in or something."  
"Of course not, someone might have seen me! I mean, I was in my underwear, imagine the horror of running into anyone like that."  
I answer drily. "Thanks to you I don't have to imagine what that feels like."  
"You'll get over it. I'm sure Adrian will let you forget about it.. someday."  
I shake my head in amusement. "Somehow I doubt that."  
She grins. "So do I."

Rose turns serious after that. "So uhm.. I'm quite busy this week, Hans is making me pick up some extra shifts because of my time at St. Vlad's, but I was wondering if you've got time next weekend? I mean.. I think we should talk."  
I'm thrilled and nervous at the same time. This conversation will be important and really, it could go both ways. We either work things out, or Rose ends up telling me she'll never want to see me again. But at least she wants to talk to me now, and I'll take that as a hopeful sign. "Of course. If you let me know what day and time suits you, I'll make sure to plan my shifts around it so we've got plenty of time."  
"Oh, you have to work? We can do it some other time if Lissa needs you, it's no problem."  
I shake my head. "I want to talk to you Roza, it's important to both of us. Vasilisa has several guardians who can protect her. I'm sure I can arrange my shifts around it, and otherwise I'll take a day off."  
"That won't be necessary, we can do it sometime after work or..."  
I interrupt her. "Rose, just name the time and place and I'll be there." If I really can't arrange anything with Vasilisa's other guardians, which I doubt, I'll ask Eddie or Janine to take over my shift. I'm not going to miss out on talking to Roza for anyone or any reason, Vasilisa will understand.  
She looks a little flustered but finally nods. "Okay, thanks. I'll let you know."

Vasilisa returns and I look at her suspiciously. She was gone for quite a while, much longer than she'd normally take, and she's smiling just a little too innocently as she says: "Sorry about that, I got an important call I couldn't ignore." It wouldn't surprise me if she somehow planned to give us a chance to talk.  
"It's okay Liss, Dimitri kept me company while you were busy."  
"Great! Well we should get going, but I'll see you soon right?"  
Rose nods and gives Vasilisa a hug. I stand around awkwardly before I quickly lean towards her and kiss her cheek, while whispering: "You'll let me know?"  
She whispers back: "I'll text you."

I follow Vasilisa outside and we start walking back to her apartment. After some random comments about the weather and her plans for the rest of the day, Vasilisa confirms my earlier suspicions as she says: "Did you work things out with Rose?"  
"Work what out?" I pretend to be ignorant, curious how Vasilisa will react.  
She doesn't disappoint, exclaiming: "Oh for heaven's sake Dimitri, you did talk to her didn't you? I stood around in the hallway for ages, hoping you'd pluck up the nerve to say something or ask her on a date. Since she was open to me apologizing and fixing our friendship, I was hoping she'd give you a second chance as well, but you can't expect her to do that if you don't say anything."  
I can't completely hold back my smile at the indignation in Vasilisa's voice and she notices, deflating a little. "Oh, you did talk to her didn't you?"  
"Yes I did."  
She claps and asks excitedly: "So how did it go?"  
"We can't fix everything between us in ten minutes, but we've agreed to meet up and talk next weekend."

She's a little disappointed at first, but by the time we make it to the apartment she's giving me pointers on what I should and shouldn't say to Rose. It's a bit tiring, but I'm glad that at least Vasilisa thinks I have a chance of fixing my mistakes.

* * *

I've just finished my shift and am walking out of Vasilisa's apartment when I receive a text. I check it instantly, hoping it's Rose letting me know when we'll be able to talk, but another name appears instead.

 _We need to talk, meet me at my place when you're done._

 _Abe_

I sigh. After a night of very little sleep and a lot of disturbing thoughts, I had hoped to return to my room and go to bed early tonight, but apparently I've got somewhere to be. I wonder if this means that Abe found something and wants to discuss it, or whether he simply enjoys toying with me. There's also the possibility that he wants to resume this morning's conversation without Janine's presence. There's only one way to find out, so rather than returning to the guardian buildings, I make my way to guest housing instead.

The door is ajar when I get there, making me uneasy. It seems unlikely that someone would attack Abe, but maybe he isn't here yet and someone is using this opportunity to search his apartment. I don't want to go in unarmed so I take my stake out of its holder before quietly opening the door a little further and looking in. I don't see anyone and I slowly make my way inside, looking around me to make sure I don't miss anything.  
Suddenly a voice speaks up from the kitchen: "Did you want a glass of vodka boy? I brought a few bottles with me from Russia."  
"Are you okay Abe?"

He walks into the room, his face showing surprise as he takes me in, armed and ready to attack, before settling on amusement. "Yes I'm fine, but it's good to know that you would've been ready to defend me if necessary. Though I assure you, I am perfectly capable of dealing with a threat myself."  
I lower my stake and straighten up. "I'm pleased to hear it. Next time I see your door open I won't bother investigating then."  
Abe chuckles. "Now now, what would Rose say if she knew you would let her old man fend for himself?"  
I shrug. "She would probably feel sorry for the poor bastard who was stupid enough to break into your apartment."  
"Ah too true, it would indeed be very stupid for someone to break in here. It's a shame really, it would've been entertaining to see how you would've handled it."  
"I'm afraid we'll never know. Did I hear you say something about vodka earlier?"  
"I did indeed."

A few minutes, two shots of Russia's finest and several insults from Abe later, we're both sitting at the table again and he gets to the point.  
"I may have found a lead, but I need your help pursuing it."  
I raise my eyebrow but don't interrupt. "After your tip about Ethan Moore, I decided to call in a favor from one of his coworkers. Guardian Morgan informed me that the cameras in the palace are on a separate, closed system from the rest of Court, which explains why I have been unable to acquire the security footage from the night of Tatiana's murder. Of course, the cameras had been tampered with and were down at the time of the murder, but I would very much like to review the hour before the cameras went down, as well as footage of the week leading up to the murder, for anything out of the ordinary."

It's not a bad idea really, though I'm sure the guardians will at least have checked everything available for the day of the murder. There's just one minor issue with this plan. Palace security is on a closed system for a reason, and I seriously doubt they'll want to share anything with Abe.  
"And how do you propose to get your hands on that?"  
"Only guardians, stationed at the palace, have access to the central operations center which is located there." I have a hunch where this is going and sure enough.. "Providentially, Guardian Morgan was called away from Court because of a family emergency."  
I roll my eyes. "How very convenient."  
"Indeed. Coincedentally, you happen to be available to take over his shifts, since Vasilisa will be at Lehigh during the week."  
"Nobody in their right mind is going to assign me to the palace Abe, I'm still on probation," I say, somewhat exasperated.  
"Ah but they have. Hans didn't have anyone available, and Janine might have mentioned your name. If you check your email I'm fairly certain you'll find your new schedule has already been sent over." Abe looks incredibly pleased with himself.

Sure enough, I have received an email from Guardian Croft which explains my temporary reassignment and tells me to report for duty at the palace tomorrow morning. Abe pours us both another shot of vodka before handing me a flash drive and a list of instructions from Guardian Morgan on where to find the files and how to copy them to the drive unnoticed. Abe tells me to learn it by heart and then to destroy it. He also tells me that while he would like the footage as soon as possible, it would be better to take some extra time rather than run the risk of being caught. He doesn't want anyone to know that we're conducting our own investigation.

* * *

Next morning I make sure I get to the palace in time. A middle-aged female guardian named Clarke is waiting for me and quickly explains my duties to me. The shifts here are a combination of patrols and watching the camera feeds from the security operations center, which is basically a large office. She quickly shows me around before sending me out to patrol. For the rest of the day, I keep my eyes open and try to take in as much information as possible. I report to the operations center after each round and I find out that there are 2 to 4 guardians present at all times. The hour I spend there myself, I use to familiarize myself with the computers and the system they're working on.

Tuesday is very similar, except for the fact that I end up working with Guardian Moore. It doesn't take me long to figure out that while he might be a skilled fighter, he's not the most astute person I've ever met. At some point during our shift I decide to drop Tasha's name, and he quickly confirms that he knows her and they were involved for a couple of months during the summer. After a few subtle prompts he even ends up admitting that she visited him at work a couple of times. It doesn't prove anything of course, but I'm sure Abe will figure out a way to use this knowledge to his advantage.

I've been looking for an opportunity to obtain the footage Abe wants, but halfway through my shift on Wednesday I'm actually starting to think it might be impossible. As one might expect, the palace guardians are very dedicated to their work and they follow every security protocol to the letter. I'm not sure if they were always this precise, but I assume that the Queen being murdered on their watch made sure everyone is very careful not to make any mistakes.

As I'm watching the monitors during lunch, I'm considering whether this might not be the best opportunity I'm going to get. It's just me and Guardian Moore in here, and with a little luck he won't notice what I'm doing. I'm about to pull the flash drive out of my pocket when I notice that Moore is shifting uncomfortably and muttering to himself.  
"Is everything okay Guardian Moore?"  
"Yeah I'm fine."  
I decide not to risk it just yet, waiting for him to settle down a little, when he says: "Hey Belikov, do you think you can handle things here for a couple of minutes? I need to use the bathroom, but the others won't be back for a while and I really need to go."  
Protocol states that at least two guardians have to be present here at all times, which means that he actually isn't allowed to leave the operations center. While it would provide me with the perfect opportunity to get the information I need, I'm uncomfortable with not following the rules.  
"Are you sure? Guardian Clarke told me nobody is to be here on their own?"  
"It's fine, it's just for a few minutes and it happens all the time." He doesn't wait for my answer but walks to the door and tells me: "Be right back."

As soon as he walks out I take out the flash drive and quickly copy the correct files onto it. By the time Moore returns, the drive is safely back in my pocket and I'm back to watching the monitors for anything out of the ordinary.  
"Thanks man."  
I nod in answer. To be honest, I'm appaled by his disregard for the rules, which are in place for a reason. The Queen relies on us for her safety, and while I'm excellent at what I do, I'm only one person and I could easily have missed something when trying to keep an eye on 20 camera feeds at once. I decide not to mention it now, but I will inform Hans about this breach in protocol when I report to him by the end of the week.

* * *

I deliver the drive to Abe that evening and he invites me in.  
"Thank you Dimitri. I assume nobody noticed what you did?"  
"Not as far as I know. There was nobody else in the office when I took it."  
"Really? Morgan told me there are always at least two guardians present."  
I nod. "That's how it should be, but Ethan Moore left to use the bathroom, leaving me alone for a few minutes."  
"Did he now?" Abe asks curiously. "I wonder if he's always so easily convinced to abandon his post."  
"With what I've seen of him, it wouldn't actually surprise me. He's a nice guy but in my opinion completely unqualified to be in an important position. He also confirmed he used to be involved with Tasha and she came to see him at work more than once. I left it at that, not wanting to tip him off that I was interested in that information, but I'm guessing that's how she managed to get into the palace to kill Tatiana without there being any records of her presence."

Abe considers my words. "That's quite possible. I actually assumed Moore was involved and purposely hid Natasha's presence at the palace because he knew what she did, but this makes more sense."  
"I doubt he was involved. While he's definitely lacking as a guardian, he doesn't seem the type to do anything illegal. Also, Tasha knew all the palace guards would be questioned extensively. Having met Moore, I'm convinced he would have broken under pressure and told the guardians everything he knew if he was actually aware of Tasha's crimes. She would never take that risk."  
Abe narrows his eyes. "Yes, Natasha wouldn't want anyone to spoil her plans. Unlucky for her, spoiling people's plans is actually my favorite pastime, especially when said person has tried to hurt my daughter.  
I decide it's time for me to leave and walk back towards the door. "I should get going Abe. Thanks to you, I'll be a palace guard for another two days."  
"Of course. I'll review the security footage and will let you know if I find anything. Thanks for your help boy."

I shake my head as I walk out of guest housing. I want to help Rose and I know Abe is the best chance we've got of actually catching Tasha, but the obvious menace in his voice never ceases to bother me.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: I hope you all enjoyed that!**_

 _ **I have a question for the writers among you. The closer we get to the end of this story, the more ideas I keep having for other stories involving Rose and Dimitri. I'm trying to keep my focus on this one, but it is messing with me a little, making the final chapters more difficult to write. How do you guys handle random ideas?**_


	25. Chapter 24

_**Thanks for all your tips on handling the random ideas popping into my head! I've made a separate document to write them all down, and as suggested I'm going to try my very best to focus on this story first.**_

 _ **Dhampirlover that's an excellent question actually. Perhaps they thought that having palace security on a closed system would be safe enough and there were no backup cameras in the Queen's private rooms. Or maybe there aren't any cameras there at all because even the Queen deserves privacy. Either way, in case you were planning an assassination on the new Queen, I'm sure the guardians have adressed that lapse in security by now ;) Nah but seriously, I've always wondered why they don't have security footage in the original story as well. Having it this way just suited my story.**_

 _ **To adress a guest who feels this story has been dragging and is getting boring: I'm sorry you feel that way. I considered leaving the whole Tasha thing out, but it somehow felt unfinished to me and I also think that Dimitri being part of taking her down shows commitment to Rose after everything she's done for him. If this bothers you however, I'm afraid this story isn't for you. As the title says, a lot of this story isn't just about Romitri but also about the people around them, and I don't plan on changing that now.**_

 _ **My apologies for the late update. This chapter is important and I wanted to get it right. I'm still not 100% happy with the first part, but I think the rest more than makes up for that. Enjoy this extra long chapter and your weekend!**_

 **Chapter 24**

 **DPOV**

As I finish my shift on Friday, I check my phone and find a text from Roza:

 _Do you have time on Sunday morning?_

I was supposed to join Vasilisa at church Sunday, so on my way outside I call Guardian Garcia to switch shifts with him. He agrees immediately, just asking me to inform Vasilisa of the change. I call her next and when I explain why I've changed my shifts, she actually ends up giving me the whole day off.

I have just answered Rose's text when I run into someone waiting for me. Abe.  
"Ah Dimitri, what a pleasant surprise. I had no idea you worked as a palace guard nowadays." I wonder why he's bothering with the charade. As far as I noticed, nobody is around to overhear us, but I decide to play along.  
"Good evening Abe. How are you?"  
"Excellent, excellent. Just enjoying an after-dinner stroll. Are you done for the day?"  
"Yes I just finished my shift, I'm on my way home."  
"Great, would you like to join me for a drink?"  
I actually really don't feel like joining Abe. I'm tired, and I would prefer to spend the rest of the evening in my room, considering what to say to Roza on Sunday. I'm assuming Abe didn't just randomly wait for me though, so I tell him: "Sure."  
As we make our way to guest housing he starts a light-hearted conversation about his travels, reinforcing the image of our meeting being completely innocent. He doesn't fool me though, there are no such things as random, innocent meetings with Zmey.

I join him in the kitchen and he asks: "Vodka?"  
"Just water please."  
Abe hands me a glass of water and pours himself a healthy measure of vodka before he gets straight to the point: "We've found something."  
I'm suddenly wide awake. "What is it?"  
"It's no conclusive evidence sadly, but I did get some promising material from the footage you gave me. We can prove Natasha went to see Moore while he was working on several occasions. Two of those visits happened in the week leading up to the murder, and we also think we've caught a glimpse of her a few hours before Tatiana actually died. She was nowhere near the Queen's chambers, but she was fairly close to the operations center so that could be the moment she tampered with the cameras."  
"While I agree that's suspicious, I don't see how it actually helps us Abe. It doesn't prove anything."  
"Correct, but I wasn't finished yet."

Abe throws back his vodka before saying: "Do you remember that there were no visitors in the logs for the evening of the murder, and the guardian on duty testified that he didn't see anyone that evening?" I nod in answer.  
"Well, as it turns out, the guardian on duty was Moore. We pulled the logs for all of Natasha's earlier visits, and he never registered her presence at the palace. And more damning than that, is the fact that he allowed her to join him on one of his patrols through the private wing three days before Tatiana was killed. We've got video footage, but again, he didn't report her presence. This proves the logs could be unreliable, as is Moore's testimony."  
"That's something at least. And that patrol would have given Tasha an excellent opportunity to see some of the security measures near the Queen's chambers."  
Abe looks grim. "Yes and it would also have given her several days to plan how to get around them."

"Did you find anything that connects Tasha directly, other than Moore?"  
Abe shakes his head. "I've got a few leads, but she has been very careful. I think Moore is our best bet. I would have prefered to question him myself, but since you and Janine insist on getting Natasha convincted, I've informed Hans of what we've found. Natasha's presence and the faulty logs gave Hans plenty of reason to call Moore in for a little chat. He's currently being questioned and he'll be threatened with dismissal for violating security protocol, risking serious harm to our Queen."  
"If he knows anything, that should hopefully be enough to get him to talk."  
"Yes. Hans promised to come by later tonight, which is why I invited you as well."  
"Great." I lean back in my chair. It's been a long week. Being a palace guard isn't particularly taxing, guarding a Moroi around the clock is a lot more demanding. The dull tasks of watching camera feeds and continually patrolling the same hallways have a way of draining your energy though.

Abe isn't about to let me relax. "While we wait for Hans, would you care to explain how he was aware of the fact that Moore left his post for a bathroom break the other day?"  
I consider him before I answer: "I was going to report it after my time as a palace guard was over, but my conscience wouldn't allow me to keep that knowledge to myself, even if it was just for a few days. Moore's incompetence might put the Queen at risk, and there's no guarantee he's the only guardian ignoring protocol. Hans was glad I told him."  
"Of course, I'm sure he's happy to know you had the opportunity to steal the footage I coincidentally got my hands on." Abe rolls his eyes at me, bearing an uncanny resemblance to his daughter as he does it. "Conspiring with people with a conscience is such a nightmare."  
I shrug. "If Hans wants to put me under arrest for that, so be it. As long as it helps us catch Tasha, I can live with the consequences."  
"Maybe you can, but have you considered how Rose would react to you being in jail?" Abe shudders. "If she finds out I was involved, she'll have my head."

I don't reply and we lapse into silence while we wait for Hans to arrive. I'm somewhat entertained by the notion that Ibrahim Mazur, one of the most dangerous people in our society, is frightened of upsetting his daughter. Not that I blame him. I've been on the receiving end of Rose's anger and it was a painful experience which I'd prefer not to repeat, ever.

* * *

We talk about inconsequential things until there's a knock on the door about an hour later. Before Abe can move I'm already on my feet, and when I open the door I come face to face with Hans. "Good evening Guardian Croft."  
"Ah you're already here, good. I assume Abe is around as well?"  
"Yes he's in the kitchen. Come in."

Abe hands Hans a drink which he throws back immediately before dropping into a chair. "Well, it looks like you were on to something. I just finished questioning Moore and he not only admitted to allowing Lady Ozera to join him in the palace several times without reporting it, but he even told us that he let her in on the night of the murder. He's a bit unclear on why he did it, his memory seems fuzzy and we're considering the possibility that he was under compulsion at the time, but the timeframe seems to fit."  
I shoot a look at Abe who's looking back at me with a half-smile on his face. "That's excellent news Hans. Is it enough to arrest her?"  
Hans shrugs. "It's enough to bring her in for questioning, but I'm not sure about an official arrest. A lawyer would be quick to point out that Moore isn't the most reliable witness. Now that we know when and where Ozera entered the palace though, we're re-examining footage of all the cameras outside. We never knew what to look for, but if we can confirm she was there, that would make our case a lot stronger and I'd be willing to risk an arrest. Honestly though, without a confession or her fingerprints or DNA, there's always a chance she won't be convicted."

We all think this through. The last thing I want is for Tasha to have the chance to get away with what she did. If she gets wind of the fact that we suspect her of the murder, she'll probably disappear into the human world and it might be difficult to track her down. I ask: "Does anyone know Moore was brought in? It could tip her off."  
Hans shakes his head. "No we handled it quietly. He was already at headquarters to file his reports when I called him into my office, and we didn't move him to interrogation until the building was empty. The only people who know, were the ones involved in questioning him, and I trust them implicitly."  
"Good, hopefully you'll be able to confirm his story before anyone finds out."  
"That's what we were hoping for as well. I've got someone working through the night in the hope of having the footage as soon as possible."

Abe asks: "Did you ever check Rose's room for fingerprints? Maybe we can prove Natasha broke in?"  
"No we didn't. At the time there was no reason to assume someone broke into her room, and we didn't know Rose was innocent until the hearing several days later. Anyone could've gotten into her room in the meantime so even if we found fingerprints, they would have been inadmissable."  
Abe growls: "Damnit, if all of you had done your work properly the first time around, we might not have been in this situation."  
Hans is about to reply, probably to defend his people when I step in. "Even if they had checked and found Tasha's fingerprints, it might not have made a difference Abe. Don't forget that Tasha was fairly close to Rose and the others at the time, she's probably been in Rose's room at some point."

I contemplate what to do next before I consider Tasha's personality. Supposedly she doesn't care about what people think of her, but I know that's not quite true. She's proud of the fact that people see her as a troublemaker, and that some of our society looks to her to make a difference in the debate about Moroi-fighting. She also has quite a temper and often gets into heated debates, sometimes saying more than she originally meant to, just to prove her point. She'll never admit to anything in an interrogation room with just guardians around her, but if she's cornered in public, the risk to her reputation might cause her to lash out. Especially if it happens in the presence of someone she cares about...  
"If you can get enough evidence to justify an arrest, I think there might be a way to get Tasha to confess."

* * *

Early next morning Hans comes by my room. "We've got what we need. We can prove Natasha Ozera was at the palace at the time of the murder, and we also have footage of her walking into the guardian building earlier in the day and coming back out fifteen minutes later with a small package. We're assuming that's when she stole the stake."  
I nod, feeling disillusioned. She really did it. Tasha really murdered someone and was willing to let Rose take the blame. She would have let Rose die. I know I was the first to suspect her, but I still held onto the hope that I was wrong, that Tasha wasn't involved and she was still the person I thought I knew. But with Moore's testimony and this new evidence, I have to come to terms with the fact that one of my oldest friends is, in fact, a complete stranger.

Hans seems to understand, he sounds sympathetic as he asks: "Are you sure you want to do this Belikov? We can think of another way, or simply arrest her and take our chances with the judge."  
I nod. "We'll go with the original plan, I still think it's the best way."  
"Okay, let's do this then. I've cleared your schedule for the morning, another guardian was sent to Princess Dragomir's apartment to take your shift. I will see you soon." He pats me on the shoulder before leaving.

I take a deep breath to calm myself before calling a familiar number.  
"Hey Tasha, want to join me for a cup of coffee this morning?"  
"Dimka! I'd love to, I'll meet you at the cafe in an hour?" I'm not surprised by her quick acceptance. Assuming Adrian was right about her feelings for me, I expected her to be interested in meeting up.  
"I still need to work out, but how about I see you there at 9?"  
"I'll be there," Tasha answers happily.  
"Great." I end the call, not wanting to talk to her any longer than I need to.

When I walk into the cafe at 10 to 9, I can tell Hans was right. Since it's Saturday, there are plenty of people around, enjoying their time off and meeting friends and family for breakfast. The cafe is nearly full and there's a long line at the counter. I order a coffee and look for a place to sit. I get lucky and find an empty table near the middle of the cafe. Tasha walks in a few minutes later and after ordering her own coffee, she joins me at the table.  
"Good morning Dimka, how have you been?"  
I take a sip of my coffee, using the opportunity to compose myself. It's important that Tasha doesn't suspect I'm on to her, she needs to think I felt like seeing her, lulling her into a false sense of security. I'm not exactly known for my acting skills though, so the best I can do is try to act normal and hide behind my guardian mask if I feel like I'm slipping.  
"I'm good, you?"  
"Great! I was so happy you called, we haven't really had the opportunity to catch up lately."  
"Yes it's been a long time since we had a chance to talk. What have you been upto?"

Tasha launches into a detailed description of the training program she's setting up. From the sounds of it she's pulled together a large group of Moroi who want to learn how to fight. If I wasn't so angry with her, I might have been impressed with the progress she's making. Apparently she's also managed to get a few royals on her side and she's hoping this will eventually cause the Council to take them seriously as well.  
I nod from time to time to show her I'm still listening, and occasionally ask a question designed to keep her talking. I'm itching to either get away from her or confront her about the information Hans gave me this morning, but I manage to keep myself in check, waiting for what's to come.

She's in the middle of telling me about some discussion with Vasilisa, when I see a group of guardians entering the cafe. Royal guards by the looks of it. Tasha doesn't notice, completely absorbed in the story she's telling me, but almost everyone else looks up to see what's going on. I catch the eye of the guardian who entered first and he gives me a small nod before they walk over to our table and he says: "Natasha Ozera, you need to come with us. Please cooperate, or we'll have no choice but to take you by force."  
She looks incredulous. "Excuse me?"  
The guardian braces himself before saying: "You're under arrest for the murder of Her Royal Majesty, Queen Tatiana Ivashkov."

I watch the emotions on Tasha's face. If I wasn't so angry with her, I might have been impressed by her acting skills. She puts on a very convincing show of shock and confusion, followed by indignation that they dare blame her for such a crime. I know her well though, and I can see the calculating glint in her eyes as she's trying to figure out a way out of this.  
"This is ridiculous! Dimka, tell them I'd never do something like that."  
I keep quiet and instead another royal guard says: "We are here to take you in miss Ozera, we strongly suggest you come with us quietly."  
"I will do no such thing! And you will adress me as Lady Ozera."  
I have to resist the impulse to laugh. Tasha never used to care about the fact that she is royal. She claimed that she didn't want anything to do with the archaic class system, where family name decides whether you're important or not. But apparently those principles only apply when it's convenient for her, and she's not above using her supposed elevated position to get out of this.

Tasha looks at me beseechingly, expecting me to come to her defense, but I just shake my head and stay where I am. The people in the cafe have moved away from us, giving two of the guards plenty of room to walk up to her. Nobody has actually left the cafe though, and there's quite a crowd watching the scene unfold.  
I'm about to speak, to ask Tasha why she did what she did, when I hear a voice behind me, making me freeze.  
"Tasha? Did you do it?" Rose's voice is quiet but I can hear disbelief at what's happening. I had no idea she was here.  
"Rose! Of course I didn't, please tell them they must be mistaken."  
I stand up and look at Rose, catching a glimpse of a very shocked Eddie a few feet behind her. Rose is looking between me and Tasha, unsure of what to do. When she looks at me again, I give a minute shake of my head, silently begging her to stay out of this, or at least not to defend Tasha. Rose seems to understand, but Tasha caught the small movement and exlaims: "Dimka! You actually believe these bizarre accusations?"  
I face her, allowing some of my anger to show and she recoils. "Yes Natasha, I actually do."

Tasha looks as if she's been slapped. For the first time in years, she's at a loss for words, her mouth opening and closing without a sound. She pulls herself together, trying to look dignified, but I can tell she feels betrayed by me and she's not quite in control of her emotions.  
"Why? I'm your friend."  
"I could ask you the same thing. The person I thought I knew would never have killed anyone, and a true friend of mine wouldn't have tried to frame the woman I love."  
I see anger flash over Tasha's face at the last part of my sentence and instinctively I step in front of Rose, shielding her from Tasha's glare. My actions cause her anger to turn to me, and she speaks without thinking: "I should have known, it's always about Rose for you isn't it? You're fine with the fact that I'm about to be arrested and will probably be executed, but heaven forbid something happens to her. If I hadn't tried to pin it on her, I could've gotten away with all of it!"

The watching crowd gasps at this confession and Tasha suddenly seems to realize what she has just said. She didn't mean to say those words, but there's nothing she can do to take them back. I can see panic starting to set in as she realizes she is going to go down for this, that she won't be able to talk her way out of these accusations.

Everyone is distracted by someone bursting through the doors of the cafe, and I look up to see Christian running in. He looks at the scene in front of him, his aunt surrounded by the royal guard. I feel bad for him. He's been living with the stigma of his parents willingly turning Strigoi for most of his childhood. Recently people have started to accept and even respect him, seeing him for the man he is, rather than the boy with the unfortunate family history. Now though, he's going to have to deal with the fact that his aunt, the woman who raised him for years, has not only committed murder, but also betrayed one of his best friends.

He looks at his aunt. "Is it true?"  
"Christian, thank god you're here! They're trying to arrest me, please tell everyone this is completely ridiculous."  
Christian's face and voice are emotionless. "I asked you a question aunt Tasha. Is it true?"  
"Don't let them take me Christian, it's all just a misunderstanding. I'm sure we can work it out."  
"IS IT TRUE?!"  
She flinches as Christian yells at her, and he takes a few steps forward and adds in a low voice: "Did you kill Tatiana? And did you frame Rose?"  
Tasha tries to look hurt and offended. "Why would you believe them? I'm your aunt, Christian you know me, why would I kill anyone?"

When I look back at Christian I expect to see doubt, but to my surprise he's staring at his aunt in disgust. "I trusted you, I loved you."  
"I love you too Chris, please don't let them take me. Haven't I always been there for you? Won't you help me?" Tasha pleads.  
"You're still dancing around the issue aunt Tasha, did you or did you not kill Tatiana and frame Rose?"  
Her expression transforms from imploring to incensed. "Why does everyone care about Rose? Someone needed to take the blame, why not her?"  
Christian looks horrified at this confirmation of Tasha's guilt.

Rose, who was still behind me, steps forward. I put my hand on her arm when she's beside me, not wanting her any closer to Tasha, but she shrugs it off. "Why did you try to blame it on me?"  
"You're known for being impulsive and hotheaded, and you had already threatened Tatiana. People would have no trouble believing you did it, and they wouldn't look any further. You should have just accepted your fate Rose, your death would have made sure the age-law would be rescinded instantly. You were the poster girl for being able to kill Strigoi before graduation. If you had snapped, everyone could have seen our guardians aren't ready that young. You could have saved a lot of lives."  
I spit out: "The law was overturned anyway, you didn't need to have Rose executed for that."  
"I didn't know who the new King or Queen would be. I couldn't count on them being reasonable, so I had to make sure my plan would work regardless of who the new monarch would be."  
"And your plan was to sacrifice Rose?"  
Tasha shrugs indifferently. "Collateral damage. I'm sure even Rose agrees it would've been a small price to pay for the greater good."

My mouth falls open at her complete callousness. The whole cafe has gone silent, shocked by her disregard for Roza's life.  
One of the royal guards next to Tasha is the quickest to recover, and he puts a hand on her arm. "You're coming wi..." He is unable to finish his sentence due to a well-aimed elbow to the stomach, after which Tasha twists out of his grip and somehow manages to pull his gun out of the holster in the same move. Clearly the guardians didn't expect her to fight and defend herself, even though that's exactly what she's known for. She points the gun at the crowd before any of the other guardians manage to get to her. "Don't move or I'll shoot, and I don't care who will get hit."

Everyone freezes in place at her words, no doubt in anyone's mind that she's willing to make good on her threat. Everyone but Christian that is, who takes a step towards her.  
"Don't be stupid aunt Tasha, put the gun down."  
"I don't think so, not until I get out of here. I suggest you leave now Christian, I don't want to accidently hurt you," she answers, eyes wild.  
He crosses his arms. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. There's no way they'll let you leave, so you might as well give up now."  
"I'll find a way. I only did what needed to be done, our world is better off without Tatiana. I shouldn't be punished for that."  
Christian shakes his head, a sad look on his face. "You're insane."

I'm horrified when Tasha points the gun at him in answer. "Whether I am or not doesn't matter. You can leave or you can help me get out of here. I am your aunt after all."  
Rose calmly speaks up beside me. "Sparky go, there's nothing you can do. Lissa would want you to stay safe."  
She's right, but I wish she hadn't spoken and drawn attention to herself. If Tasha blames Rose for not getting convicted, she'll probably also blame her for the situation she's in right now.  
"Stay out of this Rose, I'm talking to my nephew."  
Rose isn't paying attention to Tasha though, but is focussed on Christian. I can tell he wants to do something, but Rose shakes her head and tells him: "Go."  
For a moment indecision is etched on his face, but then he turns around and moves towards the door.

The next events happen so quickly, that it's somewhat of a blur. At the sight of Christian walking away from her, Tasha loses it. She screams: "No!" and whirls around, pointing her gun and pulling the trigger. In the split second it takes her to take aim, I throw myself sideways, pushing Rose out of the way. At the same time, the sound of a gunshot rings through the air.  
I feel a biting sensation in my chest as I fall, followed by intense pain. I'm no stranger to pain, but I never expected a gunshot to be this excruciating. Honestly, I never expected to be shot. As guardians, we tend to get hurt or die in hand to hand combat. Broken bones, bruises, blood loss, internal bleeding, even being stabbed are things we are prepared for. The agony of a bullet penetrating my body however, is something I never anticipated.

Everything is quiet for a moment before the world around me erupts into chaos, people screaming and shouting, trying to get out of the cafe or at least as far away from Tasha as possible. I lost sight of her as I fell, but I think I hear her scream: "Dimka!" I can only hope the guardians moved in as soon as she fired the shot, and that they managed to restrain her before she can hurt anyone else.  
People are kneeling beside me, checking to see where I'm hit and trying to stop the bleeding. I can hear someone yelling for an ambulance in the background. My eyes are on the woman leaning over me though. She tries to smile as she says: "Stay still, the ambulance is on its way. You'll be okay."  
"Roza..." Talking is difficult, I feel completely out of breath.  
Rose puts her hand on my cheek. "I'm right here comrade, not going anywhere."

Her presence calms me down and I try to focus on breathing. She talks quietly to someone sitting on my other side, and from the corner of my eye I recognize Eddie, his face serious. He catches my eye and gives me a reassuring smile. "Not quite the coffee date you were expecting I'm sure."  
I cough out a laugh. "No date.. Gun was.. unexpected though.."  
"The fact that a dozen royal guards showed up wasn't?"  
"No.."

He exchanges a look with Roza and she strokes my hair, calling my attention back to her. "You can tell us all about it later."  
I try and take another deep breath, feeling pain shoot through me as I do. "Roza.. If anything.. happens.. I.."  
"Oh no you don't Dimitri. You're not going to die, so I refuse to listen to some dramatic last declaration."  
"But if.."  
"No. You're not getting out of our talk tomorrow." She tries to look stern, but I can tell she's worried. She shouldn't have to go through this, after everything that's already happened to her, she shouldn't have to watch me like this.

The world around us is fading away, the edges of my vision growing dimmer and the noise around me fading until I barely hear it. I'm still looking into Roza's dark brown eyes, and see her tearing up as she looks back at me. Even with tears in her eyes and an anxious expression, she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I feel so lucky that I met her. I might have made a lot of mistakes, but I don't regret a single second I got to spend with my Roza. The only thing I regret is that, if not for my own actions, we could have had so much more time together.  
I know she won't allow me to say much, but as the darkness is closing in, I realize I do have something I need to say. I whisper: "Roza.. I love you."

I've told her several times, both last year and in the past couple of weeks, but I know that recently she didn't really believe me, or at least wasn't ready to hear it. My whisper causes the tears in her eyes to spill over, running down her cheeks. People show up around her and I feel Eddies hands leaving my body and being replaced by someone else. I only have eyes for Roza though. She smiles through her tears and bends towards me, brushing her lips against mine before she looks me straight in the eye and says: "I love you too comrade. Always have, always will."

Her look full of love and forgiveness is the last thing I see before everything disappears and the blackness takes over.


	26. Chapter 25

_**I was going to apologize for the cliffhanger last chapter, but honestly, I'm not really sorry about it.  
Anyway, enjoy this next chapter, I hope it lives upto your expectations.**_

 _ **As usual. I don't own Vampire Academy or its characters, Richelle Mead does.**_

 **Chapter 25**

 **DPOV**

 _Beep... beep... beep..._

Somewhere, somehow, the darkness and silence around me is broken by an annoying beeping sound. I have no idea what it is, but I wish someone would turn it off so I can enjoy the serenity of my surroundings. I'm not sure where I am exactly, but it doesn't seem to matter. It's peaceful here, I'm warm and comfortable, so I might as well enjoy it.

After the beeping sound, the next thing I become aware of is a peculiar feeling in my chest. It's not painful per se, but it is somewhat unpleasant. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm actually not comfortable where I am. I try to take a few deep breaths, trying to relax my body and become more aware of the situation I'm in, but I don't seem to have any control over the air going in and out of my lungs. That's when I notice that there seems to be something in my mouth and throat, and it feels horrible.

As I try to lift my hand to remove whatever is in my mouth, I find out that my body isn't cooperating the way it normally does. My hand and arm feel heavy and my movement seems to take forever. A voice says: "Dimitri?"  
I don't pay attention to it and keep moving my hand towards my face, but before I manage to reach it, I encounter a block of some sort and my hand is pushed back down. The weight that pushed my hand down doesn't leave completely, but instead slips into my hand. I'm about to get really annoyed when I hear that voice again.  
"Don't touch it."  
I know that voice. It's a voice I hear in both my dreams and my nightmares, and when I'm lucky also during my waking hours. I wonder if I'm dreaming now. If so, it's not a pleasant dream, and I wish I'd wake up. Maybe the owner of the voice will be there when I wake up. My Roza.

The moment I think of Roza, memories of recent events come rushing back to me. The search for evidence against Tasha. Making plans with Abe and Hans. Meeting with Tasha and watching the royal guard move in. Rose showing up, and then Christian. And finally, the gun. In my mind, I relive those moments, the gun aimed at Christian and then being turned on Roza. I knew what was going to happen. While Tasha wouldn't harm her nephew if it could be avoided, it was glaringly obvious she had no such qualms when it came to hurting Rose. And thus I did the only thing I could do. I protected Rose, like I promised her in the cabin all those months ago.

The second I remember pushing Roza out of the way and feeling the bullet hit me instead, my eyes fly open and I try to sit up. Instantly I feel hands on my shoulders, pushing me back down. I try to fight, until I meet the eyes of the person holding me down and she says: "Don't move comrade, you might pull your stitches."  
She looks tired, exhausted even, but as she looks at me I can see the worry in her eyes give way to relief. I calm down and want to answer her, but the annoying thing in my throat is still there. She seems to understand though. "They put in a tube to help you breathe. I already called the nurse, hopefully they can take it out now that you're awake."

Soon after a nurse walks in, smiling at me when she notices I'm conscious. "Good morning mr Belikov." She checks some of the machines next to me before she tells me: "I'll get the doctor to remove the tube, it must be uncomfortable for you," and walks out of the room.  
Rose stood back for a moment while the nurse was here, but she instantly moves and sits in the chair next to the bed. I look at her and move my hand towards her, and as soon as she notices she slips her hand in mine, squeezing it lightly. I squeeze back.  
She stays there, in quiet support, when the nurse returns, followed by a second nurse and a Moroi doctor who introduces himself as dr. Novikov. Rose is allowed to stay where she is while they take out the tube, and I am finally able to take a deep breath.

My throat is dry and painful and the nurse offers me a glass of water, before she adresses Roza: "We need to check the wounds and do some other checks. You can wait outside and we'll call you back in as soon as we're done."  
Rose stubbornly crosses her arms and doesn't move an inch. "Go ahead and check him, I'm not going anywhere."  
The nurse smiles kindly at her. "It won't take long miss, but you really need to leave. It's just for a few minutes."  
"Try and make me."  
I see the nurse look towards her colleagues for assistance. For a second I consider letting them try to remove Rose by force, but in the end I take pity on them. I whisper: "Roza, go. I'll be here when you get back."  
She glares at me before a resigned look appears on her face. "Fine! But I'll be back in five minutes, and not a second later. I don't care if you're done or not."

She stomps out of the room and as the door closes behind her, the doctor laughs. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but I briefly envisioned us trying to force your girlfriend to leave the room. I'm not sure we would've managed, she seems like a fighter, and she's determined to be here."  
I chuckle drily, gritting my teeth at the pain that comes with the movement. "Yes, determined is one way to describe Rose," I croak out.  
"I think determination is an admirable trait. She hasn't left once since you've been here," the nurse tells me, while she's busy removing the bandaging around my chest.  
I suddenly realize I have absolutely no idea how long I've been unconscious."How long have I been out?"  
"You've been here for two and a half days, it's Monday evening."

It takes me a while to digest that information, and in the meantime the doctor examines me, occasionally asking me to take a deep breath. Eventually he interrupts my thoughts. "The wound looks good, and you haven't had a fever over the past couple of days, which is good news as well. We'll keep an eye on you overnight, but if nothing comes up, I think we can release you tomorrow. As long as you promise to take it very easy and you have someone to take care of you at home that is."  
I nod and ask: "How long till I can start moving around some more or go back to training?"  
"I'm afraid training is out of the question for quite a while. The bullet penetrated your lung, causing a pneumothorax. We were able to remove the bullet and repair most of the damage, but even taking into account the fact that dhampirs heal quickly, I'd say you're out for at least a month. You're allowed to move around at home, as long as you're careful, but no lifting or anything strenuous."

Rose walked into the room somewhere during his explanation and overheard most of it. "And if a spirit user were to heal him?"  
The doctor looks at her. "In that case, recovery would be much quicker. I would still recommend some time off, a week, maybe two. And I'd like to do a thorough check-up afterwards, to make sure Guardian Belikov is fully healed before I clear him for training and duty."  
"Rose, there's no need for Vasilisa to heal me. I'll be fine, it'll just take a little longer." To be honest, I'm a little surprised she didn't heal me while I was unconscious. There's nothing I could've done to stop her.  
Rose shakes her head, whether in answer to my comment or because she somehow knew what I was thinking I do not know. "Lissa isn't here at the moment. She wanted to stay but she had to hand in some important paper and the Queen pressured her to go to Lehigh. Sparky went with her, saying he needed to get away from Court for a bit."

I don't blame Christian. If I were him, I would have wanted to get away from here as well. Dr. Novikov keeps me from replying to Rose as he takes his leave and tells me he'll see me in the morning. The nurses follow him out.  
I turn to Rose, who's once again sitting in the chair next to me. "How is he?"  
She sighs. "I'm not sure. He refused to see anyone before they left, and I've been trying to keep out of Lissa's head to give them some privacy. From what I did see though, he's very upset. Can't say I blame him, I can't believe Tasha would do something like that, and I've only known her for a year."  
"I still can't believe it either, and I already had a couple of days to get used to the idea."  
"You knew? How di.." She's interrupted by a knock on the door and I heave a sigh of relief. I'm not looking forward to telling Rose about my own investigation with Abe, and the fact that we kept it from her.

The feeling of relief quickly changes to disbelief when the door opens and Adrian strolls into the room. "Hey little dhampir. Cradle robber, glad to see you're alive."  
I recall Roza's question about a spirit-user healing me, and the information that Vasilisa isn't at Court at the moment. She can't honestly mean... "No."  
Adrian chuckles. "That's not the reaction I usually get when I walk into a room Belikov. Let's try again shall we?" He puts a fake smile on his face and says in a horrible supposed-to-be-Russian accent: "Adrian, it's so great to see you! Thank you so so much for doing this for me, I'll owe you for life." He continues in his normal voice: "And then I'll say: Of course, it's no problem at all. And I'm sure we'll find a way for you to repay your debt to me, a lifetime of servitude should do it."  
Rose rolls his eyes at him and I shake my head. "Not going to happen Ivashkov."  
"Ahw, why not? Don't you want to be around me?" he asks in mock hurt and disappointment.

Rose sounds exasperated as she says: "Adrian.."  
"Sorry Rose." He actually looks contrite, if only for a second. Then he takes a few steps towards me. "Let's do this. I've got things to do, places to be, girls to woo."  
I shake my head again. "I don't want you to heal me Adrian. I'll heal fine on my own, and it's not worth the darkness."  
"Don't worry about the darkness, Lissa and I have found a way to make charms for eachother, keeps the darkness at bay. And if it makes you feel better, you can take me out drinking sometime next week. You weren't the worst drinking buddy I've ever had." He thinks deeply for a moment before adding: "That would've been Rose actually, she's a horrible drunk. Wouldn't stop giggling and calling me cute."  
She groans. "Adrian!"  
He tries to glare at her. "Look at me! I am not cute Hathaway! You could've called me handsome, dashing, beautiful, good-looking, hot, sexy.. any of those would've worked. But how can you call this," he gestures up and down his body, "cute? Seriously?"

"Will you two cut it out?" I have to raise my voice to be heard over their bickering, and I wince as it hurts my sore throat. They both look apologetic and Rose squeezes my hand. "Adrian, thank you, but it's not necessary."  
Rose says: "Yes it is. You being in pain is unnecessary when Adrian is more than willing to help you." I'm about to deny being in pain altogether but she talks over me. "And don't try and tell me you're fine, I've seen you wince several times since you woke up."  
Sometimes I forget how well she can read me. I'm about to argue more, but the moment I turn to Rose, Adrian takes advantage of my distraction and takes the final step to reach the bed. I feel his hand on my shoulder and then I feel the warmth I've come to associate with spirit healing.

It's not long before Adrian takes a step back. He looks pale and tired, but he's smiling at me. "Better?"  
I take a deep breath and realize the ache in my chest is completely gone, as is the sore throat. I try to sit up and manage it without problems this time. "Yes, thank you Adrian. Really."  
"You're welcome cradle robber. Besides, I didn't do it for you."  
I raise an eyebrow at him and he gives me a tired grin. "Rose said you two were going to talk. If, at any time, she decides you deserve to have your ass kicked, I didn't want her to have to hold back because you were already injured."  
That earns him a glare from Rose and while I'm not looking forward to having my ass handed to me, I have a hard time holding back the smile that's threatening to appear.

Not that long ago I didn't like Adrian, especially not the way he used to hang around Roza and tried to get her attention. I thought he was just another spoiled Moroi, used to getting his way and wanting to take advantage of a dhampir girl. And that's not even taking into account the fact that I had feelings for said girl. I'm not sure when I changed my mind about him, but I've come to realize that he truly loves Rose and would do anything for her. And somewhere along the way, I started considering him a friend.

"Right, I should go to my room and get some rest," Adrian says.  
Rose looks conflicted, and I know she wants to go with him and make sure he'll be okay, but at the same time doesn't want to leave me. I lightly squeeze her hand before letting go. "Go with Adrian and then go get some sleep as well. I heard you've been here for days."  
She bites her lip. "Are you sure?"  
"Roza, I'll be okay. You can pick me up tomorrow morning when the doctor releases me."  
She hesitates for another moment, before up and walking towards the door where Adrian is still standing. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Don't leave before I get here."  
"I'll be here, I promise."

Rose and Adrian both wish me goodnight before they leave, Adrian using his tiredness as an excuse to put his arm around Rose's shoulders. I almost believe he needs the support, until he looks over his shoulder and shoots me a mischievous grin. Sometimes I wonder whether he actually considers me a friend as well, or if he just puts up with my company to be able to spend more time around Rose. Can't say I would blame him if it was the second reason, I would put up with pretty much anyone if it meant I could see Rose.

* * *

That night, my sleep is interrupted by regular visits from the nurse checking up on me, even though I'm now fully healed thanks to Adrian. When I do sleep, I'm haunted by nightmares about what would have happened if I hadn't been able to push Roza out of the way. While awake I've been fairly successful in keeping my mind off that possibility, but during the night I watch her getting shot and dieing in my arms multiple times. Each time I wake up, gasping for breath, I have to keep myself from calling her and making sure she's okay. I try to remember that I saw her hours ago and that she needs a night of uninterrupted sleep, but I don't think I'll truly believe she's okay until I see her again.

All in all, I'm quite happy when a nurse shows up early in the morning, carrying a breakfast tray and telling me dr. Novikov will be here in an hour or so. I'm about to give Rose a call to let her know, when there's a knock on my door and she walks in. I smile at her and say: "Hey."  
She smiles back at me but it seems somewhat forced, and her voice is quiet as she answers: "Hey."  
She doesn't say anything else and stays where she is, a few feet away from me. I'm about to break the awkward silence to inquire what's wrong and if there's anything I can do, when we're both distracted by the entrance of dr. Novikov and a nurse.  
"Good morning Guardian Belikov, Guardian Hathaway. Let's see how everything looks this morning and hopefully you'll be on your way out in no time."

They waste no time in removing the bandages that were still in place, and I'm curious to see if the wound is still there, or at least any sign of it. I know Vasilisa has healed terrible injuries without leaving a single scar, but healing didn't used to be Adrian's strong suit. When he was practicing healing at the academy a couple of months ago, he was having trouble healing minor scrapes and bruises. I was surprised yesterday at how much he seemed to be able to do, considering how much better I felt after he healed me, but we didn't check to see what my injuries actually looked like after he was done.

The nurse gasps in surprise when the bandage comes off. The wound on the right side of my chest isn't completely gone, but it is fully closed and looks like it's weeks old rather than just a few days. Dr. Novikov looks fascinated as he examines it. "That's amazing. I take it you did get a spirit user to heal you?"  
"Yes, a friend came by last night and insisted on healing me."  
The doctor nods. "Well, whoever it was, you should thank him. From the looks off it he's taken weeks off your recovery." He takes out his stethoscope and listens to my lungs, a satisfied look appearing on his face. "Your lungs sound like they're supposed to as well."

I look at Rose and see the relief on her face, but before I can say anything, dr. Novikov demands my attention again. "As far as I'm concerned, you're good to go Guardian Belikov. Please make an appointment for next week so we can run some final checks and I'll probably be able to clear you for duty then. If you want to, you can do some minor workouts until then, but I'd prefer it if you refrain from sparring until we're sure the internal damage has fully healed."  
"Thank you."  
"You're very welcome. Take care." He's almost out of the door before he turns around and adds: "Oh and if your friend ever feels like helping out around here, tell him that he's more than welcome at any time."  
Rose answers: "We will," but I can see she doesn't truly believe Adrian will ever voluntarily help out at the hospital.

The nurse removes the IV that was still in my hand and then she also takes her leave. When she's gone, Rose hands me a bag and as I open it, I can see it's full of clothes.  
"Your old stuff was ruined, I think they threw it out before they took you to surgery. Anyway, I picked up some things. I didn't think you wanted to walk out of here in a hospital gown."  
"You're right, I'd prefer not to. Thank you Roza."  
She nods in acknowledgement, but she still seems uncomfortable. Before I can ask though, she turns around and heads for the door. "I'll wait outside while you get dressed."

As soon as she leaves, I get out of the bed and take out the clothes she brought me. I quickly get dressed in the jeans and sweater, before checking the small closet in the corner and finding my own shoes there. All the while, I'm thinking about Roza's behavior this morning. She acted completely normal when she was here yesterday, but just now she seemed quiet and self-concious. Usually I have a pretty good idea of what she's thinking, but at the moment she's a completely mystery to me.  
When I walk out my room, I see her a little ways down the hall, leaning against the wall and apparently biting her nails. She quickly stops as soon as she notices me and we start walking down the hall together, making our way to the exit.

I shiver when we walk out of the warm hospital and into the November cold. Thankfully the sun hasn't fully set yet, or it'd be a lot colder outside.  
"I tried to find you another duster, but they didn't seem to sell them at Court."  
I look down at Rose by my side and give her a half-smile. "I'm sure they don't. It doesn't matter, I've got another one at my room."  
She just nods but doesn't say another word. Her silence is starting to unnerve me. Does it mean she's upset with me? Or is she simply reverting to her recent distant behavior? If so, why would she do that? She seemed so much better yesterday and when I talked to her last week, so much more like the woman I know.

We're almost at the guardian building when I can't take the silence anymore and I stop walking and grab her wrist, pulling her around to face me. "Roza, what's wrong?"  
She doesn't look me in the eye as she asks: "What do you mean?"  
"Roza..." I sigh. "We both know something is bothering you."  
She looks down towards the ground. I reach out and lift her chin, forcing her to look at me. "Will you please tell me?"  
She seems to be waging some internal battle, and at first I think she isn't going to answer me. But then she whispers: "We still need to talk, but I'm afraid to."  
That's not what I was expecting at all, and the only reply I can come up with is: "Why?"

All of a sudden the words come pouring out. "I thought you were going to die, when Tasha shot you. I was looking at you and I saw the light leaving your eyes and everything. I thought I'd lost you again and.." A sob racks through her body. "I can't lose you again, and I know we need to talk, but I don't know what you're going to say and what's going to happen after, and.. " She's crying by now. "I can't lose you again, I just can't.."  
"Oh Roza." I pull her into my arms and blink back my own tears as she clings to me. I hold her tightly and press a kiss into her hair before I tell her: "We need to talk about everything that happened to be able to leave the past behind us, but what happens after that is up to you. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going to lose me again Roza."  
She mumbles into my chest: "Promise?"  
"I promise." I try to lighten the mood. "You couldn't get rid of me again if you wanted to."  
She takes a shaky breath and leans back and I softly brush the tears from her cheek. Her eyes are still a bit watery but she smiles at me anyway. "Well, if I really wanted to, there's always Abe."  
I chuckle. "True, there's always Abe."

Roza uses her sleeve to wipe the remaining wetness from her cheeks and I play with a lock of her beautiful hair until she looks up at me again. "If you don't want to talk yet, we can do it later. I don't want to rush you."  
She shakes her head. "No, you're right, we need to deal with it to be able to move on."  
"Are you sure?"  
She nods, and in that moment I'm once again completely amazed by how strong she really is. After everything that happened, after all the times I've hurt her and no matter how difficult this is going to be, she's still willing to face all the bad memories. There truly is nobody like her.

I grasp her hand and together we make our way back to my room. Before I open the door I look at Roza again and I can't resist kissing her. She puts her arms around my neck and we stay like that for a moment, knowing that once I open that door and we start talking, we'll have to face some hard truths. All too soon I break the kiss and ask: "Are you still sure you want to do this?"  
"Yes, I am." She looks me in the eye and quietly adds: "You promised, and I trust you."  
My heart soars at her assurance. I open the door for us and follow Roza into the room, ready for the most difficult conversation we'll ever have.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: Honestly, did anyone really think I was going to let Dimitri die? I know I've had a lot of fun torturing him, but even I think it would've been mean to kill him after all his efforts. Besides, it would have completely destroyed Rose, just when she seemed to be getting better.**_

 ** _Next chapter is going to be "the talk". It might take me a little longer than usual to update, as I really want to get that chapter right. So don't kill me if you don't get an update next week, I promise it's coming as soon as possible._**


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

 **DPOV**

Roza makes herself comfortable on the sofa while I grab us both a glass of water. When I return from the tiny kitchen, I wonder whether I should sit next to her or take the chair to keep some distance between us. Rose ends up making the decision for me when she moves a little to the side to make room for me, and I quickly sit down.

We both sit in silence for what seems like a long time, although according to the clock it's only a couple of minutes. While I very much want to talk to Rose, I actually have no clue how to go about it. Thanks to Tasha, I never got around to preparing what I want to tell Rose, and honestly, I doubt she wants to hear some rehearsed speech anyway. What I think she wants, and what I want to give her, is honesty. Honest answers to any questions she might have. And hopefully she'll be willing to answer some of my own questions as well.

We start talking at the same time. "I.."  
"Sooo..."  
We immediately go quiet again, motioning for the other to speak first. I smile at the awkwardness, and Rose relaxes a little after that.  
"I'm not really sure where to begin," I say.  
"Neither am I. I guess we might as well start near the beginning? Why did you go to Russia after you were turned?"

I doubt that's the most pressing question she has for me, but she's right, it's as good a place to start as any really.  
"I had multiple reasons for going to Russia. The most obvious one is that Nathan and the others were going there. I contemplated staying behind on my own, but it seemed easier to stick with them for the time being, while I figured out my new life." I feel disgust as I say life, because as far as I'm concerned, my existence as Strigoi doesn't deserve that name. Rose seems to hear the revulsion in my voice and reaches out to take my hand.  
"The second reason I decided to follow them, was because I overheard Nathan and one of the others talking about their boss. They mentioned the name Galina, and I was curious whether they were talking about my former instructor. I knew she had been taken and probably turned a few years before, and if it was her, I figured I might be able to use her to rise through the ranks quickly. As you already know, it did indeed turn out to be her."

I take a deep breath. "My final reason for leaving the US was you."  
"Me?"  
I nod, but I don't look her in the eye. "I knew that if anyone was capable of killing me, it would be you, and I had no wish to lose the eternal life I had just gained. Also, you were still important to me. Everything I felt got twisted when I was turned. Though I was incapable of feeling love at the time, I did still feel something when it came to you. I suppose you could say I was possessive. You were mine, and I still wanted you. I needed some time to figure out what I'd do with you, and I didn't want to risk running into you before I was ready, so I left."  
"So... If I hadn't followed you, you would've come after me some day?"  
"Yes. I'm not sure when, but I would have, eventually. Your coming to Russia just sped things up, and your escape made sure I became completely obsessed with you."

Rose already knew this, to some degree at least. The only real news to her must be the fact that I planned to come after her, regardless of her own actions. Still, there's a difference between knowing subconsciously and actually hearing me say the words, and I'm a little apprehensive about how this might affect her. I'm relieved when she remains calm, merely looking thoughtful as she considers this information.

I can't resist asking her a question of my own. "Why did you come after me?"  
She's incredulous. "You already know the answer to that."  
"Tell me why Roza."  
"You really want to get into this? Why I did what I did? Why don't we talk about why you did what you did?" She crosses her arms as she glares at me.  
"Because I want to know your reasons! Why did you come after me? Why did you do all those crazy things to save me? Why didn't you tell me about those crazy stunts? Why did you distance yourself from everyone? Why didn't you move on like I wanted you to?"  
I probably should have stopped after the first question, but once I started, I couldn't help but ask every question that popped into my head.

Rose jumps up. "Well I've got questions as well! Why did you push me away? Why wouldn't you listen to me and let me in? Why weren't you there for me when I needed you? Why was it okay for Lissa to be around you but not me? Why did it take you months to decide I was worth your time after all? Why didn't you love me anymore?" Her voice steadily grows louder as she fires off question after question, and finally breaks when she gets to the last question.  
"Calm down Roza." I meant to sound appeasing, but my words just piss her off even more.  
"You don't get to tell me what to do! I'm not the one who changed his mind about us!"

What are you supposed to feel when the love of your life yells those words at you? Hurt? Guilt? Remorse? Either way, I surely didn't expect to feel relief, and yet that's my predominant emotion. While we have plenty of things to talk about, I think the subject that has been on both of our minds, is my behavior after I was restored, and it's a relief to have it out in the open and be able to adress it.  
"Neither did I Roza! I never stopped loving you!"  
"Then why did you lie to me?!"

She's still shouting, all the pain and frustration at my actions pouring out, triggering my own emotions.  
"Because I thought it would be better for you! I thought I was doing the right thing."  
She starts pacing. "Yeah? And how did that work out for you huh?"  
"It didn't! I may no longer be dead, or undead, whatever, but I'm not actually alive unless I'm with you! I know I messed up, and I know I handled things badly.."  
She lets out a humorless snort. "You think?"  
I ignore her interruption and continue: "But I need you in my life Roza. I love you, I've loved you since the day we met. I just thought you would be better off without me, please try to understand.."

"I don't understand! What the hell happened to us being stronger and facing difficulties together? I fucking went to the ends of the earth for you. As in, literally! I went to fucking Siberia and everything!"  
"I know that! But you don't know what it feels like to suddenly be alive again, surrounded by people you care about, while your head is full of memories of all the atrocities you committed. You didn't know what it was like, the things I had done, and especially to you!" Just thinking about that time, remembering my feelings after being restored, as the full realization of my actions hit me, weighs me down.  
Her voice rises in disbelief. "I didn't know?! I was there you idiot! I saw it, I lived through it. I.. WAS.. THERE!"  
I throw my hands in the air in despair. "That's not the same as being the responsible party! You weren't the perpetrator, you were the vic..."  
She growls at me: "Don't you dare call me a victim. Don't you dare make me sound helpless. I made the choices that got me into that situation and I would make them again."

"You would?" For months now, deep down, I have been worried that if Rose could go back in time, she would have acted differently. I've been scared that on some level, she regrets saving me, and that's part of the reason I pushed her away. What if she would've told me, one day, that she wished she hadn't done it? I don't think I could've survived that.  
"Yes I would. I don't regret going after you."  
I sigh, both in relief and in shame at feeling that way, when her coming after me caused her so much pain. "Maybe you should. Look at all the pain I put you through Roza, look at how much I hurt you and how much you changed because of it. Maybe you should have left me there. You would have been better off without me."

She looks at me like I'm insane. "You really would have prefered for me to leave you like that? You think I would've been happier now if you were still Strigoi and I was living with the knowledge that I was too cowardly to do something about it? Is that what you would've done, if it had been the other way around?"  
The thought of Rose with red eyes and cold skin makes me nauseous. "Of course not! I just.. I hate the idea of you being in danger, I hate remembering what I put you through. What if you had died?"  
"Then I would've died doing something I believed in. I would much rather die trying to save you, than being protected by wards and having the time to wonder how many people you have been killing," she says harshly.

I know she's right, but I'm not sure if the thought that she could have died, while trying to set me free, will ever stop tormenting me. "I just want you to be safe Roza, is that so difficult to understand? I couldn't live with myself if you had died because of me."  
"And you wouldn't have had to. If I had died, nobody would've come up with the idea of restoring you, so either you would've still been Strigoi or you would've been dead as well."  
I'm not sure if this piece of Rose-logic is supposed to make me feel better or worse, and I'm incapable of coming up with an answer.

Eventually Rose gets fed up with my silence and asks: "If everything you just said is true, about loving me and wanting me to be safe and alive and happy, why the hell did you give up on me?"  
She's still angry with me, but I can also hear the heartbreak behind her question. Normally that would instantly cause me to get a hold of myself, but after our discussion, it seems I am completely incapable of controlling my emotions, and I snap at her.  
"Damnit Rose, it wasn't you I gave up on, it was me!"

We stand there, facing eachother and breathing heavily. The air around us is charged, full of tension from our heated arguement, but we're both completely silent now. My admission finally broke through Rose's anger, and now she seems confused, dumbfounded even, by my words. I however, am struck by the truth in them. I never really looked at it that way, but looking back at my actions, that's exactly what I did.  
"I... Wait, what?"  
I run my hands through my hair, resisting the urge to pull it out. "I never gave up on you Roza, not really. I gave up on myself, on who I used to be, on who I needed to be to deserve you."  
"I.. don't understand?"

I know this is the explanation that matters most. Nothing I can say will ever make her forget what I said to her at church that day, but she needs to know why I said those words. I take both her hands in mine and look at her, taking a moment to memorize every inch of her, just in case she pushes me away afterwards.  
"I'll try to explain, but please, hear me out okay? Try not to interrupt me?"  
I know I'm asking a lot, but I need her to hear all of my reasons before she forms, or at least voices, an opinion, and I know that if she interrupts me, we'll get off track and I'll never be able to explain this properly. I wait for her to acquiesce, which she does reluctantly after ten seconds or so.

I take a deep breath. "I felt so much guilt, it was overwhelming. I didn't think I could feel anything else, and more importantly, I didn't think I deserved to. How could I live my life, after I had taken it away from so many others? How could I feel love, when I had taken the love I felt for you and turned it into something twisted and evil? How could I allow you to love me, when I had used your feelings for me as a way to torture you?"

I can see the wheels turning in Rose's head, and I continue before she comes up with answers to those questions. "I know you told me you didn't blame me, that it wasn't me who did those things, and I understand that now Roza. But at the time, I didn't see it that way. All I could see were my hands on someone's neck, my mouth sucking someone dry, my teeth at your throat, my hands leaving bruises on your body. To me, that wasn't someone else, or even some other version of me. It was me, all me. And I was scared to allow myself to feel anything, because what if those feelings of power, control and domination returned? What if I opened myself up to you, and I would hurt you again? And honestly, I didn't understand how you even wanted to be around me. After what I put you through, I expected you to run off screaming as soon as I got anywhere near you. In my mind, that's what you were supposed to do."

"But you wouldn't have hurt me, and it wasn't you doing those things," Rose says with conviction.  
"I know. As I said, I understand that now, but back then I didn't. If I blamed myself for my actions, surely you had to as well. I thought that if I pushed you away, you could move on and be happy again. I believed that was no longer possible for me, and the longer you would cling to our relationship, the longer it would take for you to recover. You deserve someone who would do anything for you, to take care of you and to make you happy. At the time, I was convinced I couldn't be that person, and the sooner you understood that, the better it would be for both of us."

In a small voice she asks: "Do you still feel like you can't be that person?"  
"I'm not sure if anyone, myself included, is capable of making you as happy as I think you deserve to be Roza." I watch her face fall and I continue quickly: "But," hope appears in her eyes, "I would very much like to be the man who gets to try."

My answer earns me a tentative smile and I feel a weight lift of my chest. "So your love really didn't fade?"  
"No, my love for you never faded. For a while it was buried deeply, overshadowed by guilt and shame and regret, but I never stopped loving you. I knew I shouldn't have said those words as soon as I uttered them, but I was too broken to understand why. It took months for my old personality and feelings to resurface, and ever since I've been beating myself up for telling you what I did. It's the biggest lie I've ever told Roza. I don't think it's even possible for me not to love you."

She remains silent, and I think I see disbelief in her eyes, like she still doesn't truly grasp the idea that I feel that way, that my earlier words really were just a lie. I'm angry at myself for causing this, for making her doubt my love. No matter what the future brings, I'll make sure she'll never have to question that again. I tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear and look her straight in the eye as I once again tell her: "I love you Rose Hathaway, more than anything."  
A blinding smile appears on her face. "I love you too."

My heart soars at her words. I move to pull Rose closer to me, and at the same time, she throws her arms around my neck and pulls me down towards her, where her lips meet mine. The kiss quickly turns heated, our passion fueled by our emotional conversation and the relief of finally being able to move forward. I lift her up without breaking the kiss, wanting her closer to me, and she wraps her legs around my waist. Without any conscious decision on my part, we somehow wind up on my bed, where Rose pulls off my shirt while my hands freely roam over her body.

After all the heartbreak and despair, after all our trials, after being apart for so long, I need this, we both do. Not just physically, but mentally as well. As our clothes come off, we rediscover eachothers body and as we finally become one, I feel whole again. It's like the stars realigned and the world righted itself, and we're finally back to where we're supposed to be. My life was incomplete without Roza. It's like I was an empty shell, and so was she. We weren't meant to be apart, we're better together, stronger together, and above all, happier together.

When we're done, for the moment at least, I hold her close. I haven't felt this content since our time in the cabin. I gently stroke Roza's hair before running my fingers down her bare back, making her shiver. The movement of her naked body against mine does all sorts of things to me, but before I can act on them, she surprises me by chuckling.  
"I'm not sure if dr. Novikov would classify this as a minor workout comrade."  
I laugh. "He only asked me to refrain from sparring didn't he?"  
"Hmmm, that's true.." She trails her fingers from my throat, to my chest, down to my stomach and I can't hold back a moan. We're interrupted by a loud growl from Roza's stomach though, and I can't help but laugh.  
"Maybe we should get you some food first Roza."

She grins as she jumps out of bed. "That's probably a good idea, we need to keep our energy up."  
"Really? What for?" I ask innocently.  
"Nothing apparently, if you have to ask..." She starts to walk away, swaying her hips slightly, giving me a wonderful view of her still naked body.  
"Roza..." I say in a low voice. I try to grab her and pull her back towards me, but she dances out of my grasp.  
"Later comrade. I think there's a large pizza somewhere with my name on it."  
"I can't believe you're picking pizza over me.." I grumble good-naturedly.  
She shrugs. "That's just the way it is. Tell you what, if you hurry up, and you get me a brownie for dessert, I'll make it worth your while later?" Causing me to jump out of bed instantly.

I can't help but smile as we get dressed and, holding hands, make our way out of my room and towards the Italian restaurant nearby. I know one conversation and making love isn't magically going to fix everything. Our past has left scars that will take time to heal, and this conversation is far from over really, there are a number of things we haven't adressed yet. However, as long as Roza is beside me, I feel like we can handle anything.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: Ahwww they made up!**_

 _ **We're approaching the end of this story and I can't believe it's nearly done! Your reviews and support really kept me going, thank you so much.**_

 _ **I considered ending it here, but I think Dimitri still has some questions for Rose. If there's anything you think she should tell him about their time apart, feel free to let me know and I'll see if I can incorporate it. Unless you think I should end the story here and move straight on to the epilogue, which I suppose is still an option as well. Either way, I'd love to hear your thoughts!  
**_


	28. Chapter 27

_**Once again, thank you so so much for all your lovely reviews! Since most, if not all, of you wanted me to continue, here's another chapter!**_

 **Chapter 27**

 **DPOV**

I enjoy our time at the restaurant. The pizza is good and we talk about inconsequential things for a while. After all those months of guilt and it's accompanying depression, and then the strained, awkward relationship between us, it feels great to have a lighthearted conversation over a simple dinner. It feels strangely like a date, and I realize I've never actually taken Rose on a proper date, something I'll have to change in the near future.  
Afterwards, we take two brownies to go and decide to go for a walk. We stroll around Court in silence, enjoying the evening and eachothers company, and in Roza's case, the apparently excellent brownies.

While we're walking, I think back on our earlier conversation in my room. There's still so much we haven't talked about, so many questions still unanswered. As soon as I think about it, I can't stop the questions from running through my mind, demanding to be adressed. Eventually I break the silence and ask: "Rose?"  
"Yeah?" She mumbles around the last bite of her brownie.  
I wait for a second, before asking the question that has been bothering me for weeks. "Why did you close yourself off from everyone around you?"

She doesn't respond for a while, but I wait patiently for her to collect her thoughts. "It was just easier that way."  
"Easier?"  
"I was in so much pain Dimitri.. I'd already lost Mason, and then I lost you as well. For months I held onto the hope of saving you, first by killing you, and later on by finding a way to restore you. Those plans were what kept me going, I couldn't lose it while I had a purpose. When you were back, but you didn't want to see me.."  
"I'm so sorry Roza."  
"You don't have to keep telling me you're sorry comrade. I understand now why you did it, even though I still think it was incredibly stupid."

"It's just.. It was easier to lock away all my emotions. If I didn't feel anything, I didn't have to deal with it. It kind of worked, I wasn't happy, but I wasn't really unhappy either. I just existed from one day to the next, I did what was expected of me, and seeing as I knew I wouldn't really be happy again, I felt like that was the best I could ask for. Maybe if Hans saw how dedicated I was to whatever job he gave me, he would eventually allow me back in the field. At least my skills wouldn't be wasted then, and you wouldn't have trained me for nothing."

I think about her answer. "That still doesn't explain why you pushed away your family and friends."  
"They reminded me of my old life, of what could have been. And honestly, it's not like it was difficult to avoid them at first. My mom was busy with work, Lissa was busy with politics and stuff," and me, I mentally add, "and Eddie was still angry with me for ruining his future. The only ones who were aware something was going on were Abe and Adrian. After I broke up with Adrian, I asked him to give me some space to deal with everything, and he willingly agreed. To be honest, I think he needed the distance even more than I did. As for Abe, well, God knows what he's upto most of the time, I'm probably better off not knowing."

I consider everything she said, and I realize I actually understand why she reacted the way she did. In a way, it's fairly similar to what I did after Ivan was killed. I was never the most outgoing person around, but I used to be more open and I used to have fun. After Ivan died, I hid most of my emotions and my personality behind my ever present guardian mask. From that day on, I was always serious and professional, and I never allowed my feelings to get in the way. Until Roza came into my life that is, and she broke through all those barriers. Up until then, not even my family really managed to do that. I would be a little more relaxed around them, and around old friends like Tasha, but I never completely returned to the person I used to be.

Of course, Roza reaction was more extreme, locking away all her emotions completely rather than just hiding them. Then again, losing a friend and charge is different than losing the person you're in love with. I can't imagine what I would have done if our roles had been reversed, if I had been in her position. Just thinking about it hurts like hell, and locking away every feeling to not have to feel that pain seems like a very reasonable solution.

Rose's voice interrupts my thoughts. "Dimitri?"  
"Hmmm?" I react absentmindedly.  
"When Lissa was going to tell you about everything I had done, you said you already knew, and that people had come to talk to you about it."  
"Yes."  
She bites her lip before asking: "Who?"

I push my earlier thoughts to the back of my mind, instead focussing on Roza. "Honestly, who didn't? First there was your mom, and Abe, who I didn't know was your father at the time. Why didn't you tell me?"  
"When was I supposed to tell you? I didn't find out until after I returned from Russia, and we never really talked after that. How did you find out anyway?"  
"I didn't, my mom did. She said you looked alike, and to be honest, it explains a lot."  
She looks somewhat confused. "It does?"  
"Rose, I've met your mother," I say patiently. "You might be like her in many ways, but I think we both know your attitude is all Abe."  
Most people would be insulted at being told they're like Zmey, but not my Roza. She just rolls her eyes at me. "I guess there's no denying that. And I was right you know, he does have wicked cool hair."  
We both laugh at the reminder of our conversation in the gym all those months ago.

"Anyway, where was I.. Ah yes, before I left to go home, Abe was kind enough to send me some information from an Alchemist you met."  
Rose gives me a look of clear disbelief. "He got Sydney to send you information?"  
"Yes, and her notebook. She even wrote me a personal message."  
"Really? What did it say?"  
"I'll show you later. I'm curious though. How in the world did you become friends with an Alchemist? The ones I've met dislike having to associate with us."  
She grins. "That's because they've never met me."  
"I'm serious Rose," I chide her. "It goes against everything they're taught."  
"Honestly, it just happened. At first she definitely wasn't happy to be around me, but while she was escorting me halfway through Russia, she loosened up a little. And well, saving her life probably didn't hurt."  
"Probably not."  
"I think you'd like her. She's serious and pragmatic, but deep down she has a great sense of humor."

I actually hope I'll meet Sydney Sage one day. Ever since I read her notebook I've been curious about this girl who was willing to risk the extreme displeasure of her superiors to help a dhampir. She might be more serious than Roza, but it wouldn't surprise me if they got along this well because Sydney is a rule-breaker in her own right as well.

"So, who else?"  
"Well, obviously my family talked to me. Mama mostly, and Yeva."  
A smile appears on Rose's face. "I like your mother. She was so kind to me, like I was part of the family." She wrinkles her nose. "Yeva, not so much."  
"You are part of the family Roza. And Yeva isn't that bad. Although.." I consider her behavior the couple of days I spent at home. "She did allow Karolina and Sonya to attack me, and later on she slapped me and then told me I had to prove I was worthy of you."  
She grins. "Did she really? I suddenly like the old bat a lot more." I can't help but shake my head. I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise that Rose approves of the use of physical violence.

"My sisters and Paul say hi, and Vika asked me to tell you that she was sorry, and to thank you for bringing me back to them."  
"There was no need for her to say sorry."  
"She seemed to think there was, and from what she told me, I agree with her."  
"She told you about Rolan? Honestly, I still can't believe she nearly fell for that sleazeball. But then, I can't believe Sonya did either."  
What is she talking about? I only recall Vika telling me she had said something to Rose about not really loving me. There was nothing about a guy, and how is Sonya involved in all this? "Wait a moment, what sleazeball?"

Rose must've recognized the look on my face because she looks like she wants to kick herself. "Oh crap, you didn't know? Viktoria is going to kill me!"  
"Who is Rolan?"  
"I'm not telling you, you can ask Viktoria yourself."  
"Tell me."  
"No."  
"Please?"  
"Definitely not. Just drop it already!"  
I fix her with a stare, not looking away. "Rose, I'm not going to let it go and you know it. Tell me."

"Fine!" she says, resignation clear in her voice. "Just before Vika was supposed to return to school, she wanted to introduce me to this guy, a Moroi named Rolan. She was head over heels for him, but I wasn't impressed. After she introduced us, he started flirting with me as soon as she turned around. I tried to get her to go home with me, but in the end, they went into a.. well.. basically it was a bloodwhore den."  
Rose looks at me apprehensively when she tells me and I grit my teeth. I'm aware of places like it, they've always been around Baia. I can't believe my little sister was stupid enough to enter one though. She's specifically been warned against it, not only by Mama, but by Karo and me as well.

"Did you get her out?"  
She nods quickly. "Yes. Abe showed up a minute later, and I made a deal with him. He'd get Rolan to leave your sisters alone, if I promised to leave Baia like he wanted me to. Apparently Viktoria wasn't the first Belikov Rolan was interested in. Abe implied Rolan is the father of Sonya's baby, but I never checked whether it's true or not." I recall Abe mentioning something about making a deal with Rose when they first met, but he never told me the specifics. Apparently, this was it. Rose made a deal with Zmey, just to keep my sisters safe. It doesn't matter that he's her father and he would never have harmed her. She didn't know it at the time, and she was still willing to make the deal.

Rose is still talking. "Pavel went inside and came out with Viktoria a few minutes later. She was pissed at my interference, and she said some things. I get it though, she was hurt and upset, it wasn't a big deal."  
"I disagree. I heard what she said to you Roza, and she had no right. She definitely owed you an apology."  
She shrugs. "It's okay, really. I just wish she could've dated a nicer guy, Rolan was a creep."  
"It wouldn't surprise me if she's dating Nikolai by now, he seemed very interested in her at my restoration party."  
"Really? That'd be great!"

After a moment, she adds: "So they threw you another party? Was there as much vodka as at your memorial?"  
"Probably. And a lot of people showed up. Nikolai's brother was there as well, Denis? He was glad to hear you were okay, your disappearance scared the hell out of him and the rest of your hunting group."  
She looks up at me in surprise. "He's still alive? What about the others?"  
"He said they were alright. They stopped hunting soon after you left, and if what Denis told me was true, he's currently back at St. Basil's in the hopes of graduating this year."  
"That's amazing!"  
"I agree."

We continue walking and I can tell Rose is absorbed by her memories. Once she seems to be back in the present, I tell her: "Mark and Oksana were at the party as well by the way."  
"Oh yeah, I suppose they would've been, though they weren't at the memorial. How are they?"  
"They're great. We talked for a while, Oksana was very curious about my restoration." I pause for a moment before adding: "I didn't know she was a spirit user."  
"Yeah well, Yeva knew. At least, she knew enough to introduce me to them when I was there."

Of course my grandmother would know. "Oksana also told me she couldn't believe the fairytale she told you, was in fact true. That's how you found out about restoration isn't it?"  
"Yes, she told me after I returned to Novosibirsk and Abe brought her along so she could heal me. Thank god he did, or I never would've known. And I don't even want to imagine what could've happened to Lissa, if Oksana hadn't been there to help me help her fight Avery."  
At the mention of Rose needing healing in Novosibirsk I feel another flash of guilt, but as for the rest of her sentence, all I feel is complete and total confusion. "What?"  
"Hm? Oh I forgot, you don't really know about Avery. Long story, I'll tell you some other time."

My heart jumps at the casual mention of us talking again in the future. I still can't quite believe I was lucky enough to be given another chance. I want to know what she's talking about though, so I just look at her until she rolls her eyes. "Really, it's not even all that interesting. Crazy spirit chick messed with Lissa's mind for months and wanted to kill her, so she could revive her and Lissa would be bonded to her. Turned out she already had two bondmates, and they were going to help her kill Lissa that day. Oksana got into my head, and then somehow I got into Lissa's, and I helped her punch a guy. It was kind of awesome."  
"You realize that sounds.. insane?"  
"Avery is, that's for sure. All the spirit-use completely fried her brain." Rose shrugs. "Given her personality upto that point, it's probably an improvement."

"Those were all the people that talked to you?"  
"Hardly. Next up was Eddie, who was none to pleased about me having to follow him around. After he got angry at me a couple of times, and gave me two black eyes.."  
"He did what?" she asks, her voice deceptively calm.  
"We were sparring and he punched me. On the nose."  
"That's out of bounds."  
"Yes it was. When I pointed that out to him the next day, he was nice enough to explain to me exactly why I deserved it. I think his story was the most unbelievable of all, and yet, I never doubted anything he told me."  
Rose doesn't meet my eye, seeming very uncomfortable. "So.. uhhh.. what exactly did he tell you?"  
"I would say.. everything." I raise an eyebrow at her. "Care to explain?"  
She mutters under her breath but I just manage to catch her words. "Not particularly."

I stand still and pull her around to face me. Rose refuses to meet my eye, staring at the ground at kicking at some pebbles on the path. "Roza, what were you thinking?"  
She looks up at me defiantly. "That it was the only way."  
"I would never have expected you to.."  
She cuts me off impatiently. "We've been over this. I've made my decisions and I'd make them again. Victor would never have cooperated and told us about Robert as long as he was locked up. Eddie and Lissa helped me willingly. The only things I regret are not giving Eddie all the information up front, and damaging his career. He's right to be pissed at me."  
"He's not, not really. He told me it all would've been worth it if you would be happy."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. He cares about you Rose."  
She doesn't answer me, but I think she looks a little relieved. I wonder if, all this time, she thought he was just angry at her, rather than at the situation and the disappointing result of their actions.

I don't allow myself to dwell on that though, instead moving on to my next question: "How much did you hear of my conversation with Vasilisa and Christian?"  
"All of it I think? I was pulled into Lissa's head when she heard Sparky insulting you, something about stupidity?"  
"And you stayed for the whole conversation?"  
"Yeah, I guess I was kinda curious, especially when Christian started arguing with Lissa on my behalf. I never knew he had it in him, though I'm not too happy that he told her to ignore her promise to me. Anyway, I doubt I could've pulled out if I wanted to. I hadn't felt the bond in months, blocking my emotions made it easy to block Lissa as well. Seeing you and talking to you, and especially fighting with you, messed with my head though, which is probably why my blocks were down."  
"I'm sor.."  
"Will you stop saying you're sorry? If you're going to apologize for every little thing, we'll never finish a single conversation again," Rose says in exasperation.

She's probably right. I think about a way to change the subject and realize there's someone I haven't mentioned yet.  
"Oh I forgot. I talked to Adrian as well. He was the first to tell me to get it together. Or as he put it, I needed to pull my head out of my arse."  
She grins. "That sounds more like him. When did he tell you that?"  
"Before I left for Russia."  
"Ah," she says neutrally. I guess he's somewhat of a touchy subject, at least I know he is to me. There's a lot I would like to ask her about their relationships, and yet, I'm not sure if she's willing to talk about it. There's only one way to find out though.

"About Adrian.."  
"What about him?"  
"Did you love him?" I blurt out. I didn't really mean to ask her that, it's none of my business really and I'm fairly sure I'm not going to like her answer. Still, I would like to know.  
I would've expected Rose to be offended by my question, but she thinks about it before calmly answering me. "Yes."  
I was right, I really didn't want to know. It's not that I blame her, but it's difficult for me to know that she had feelings like that for another man. "Why did you break up with him then?"  
"How do you know I broke up with him? Maybe he was fed up with me?"  
"You said so earlier. Also, he told me that night in the bar."  
"Oh. Well.."

Rose searches for words. "Honestly, I never should have dated Adrian to begin with, I never should've promised to give him a chance. But when I made the promise, I didn't really expect to return, so I didn't think it mattered. As long as he was willing to help me, I was willing to tell him whatever he wanted to hear." She pauses and then shakes her head. "It sounds so mean when I put it like that, like I used him. Which I guess I did."  
I grasp her hand again, squeezing it encouragingly.

"When I returned, it only seemed fair to keep my word. It's not like he asked me to promise him a future, he just wanted me to give him a chance, and what could it hurt really? You were dead, or so I thought, and Adrian is a great guy. He knew about you and didn't seem to think it was a problem. And it was sort of... nice for a while. He really tried to be the best possible boyfriend, and being with him was.. easy I guess? He would make me laugh and he never seemed to expect more from me. He was happy as long as I was happy."

"Then why did you break up with him?"  
"Because it wasn't going to work. And he deserved better."  
"In what way?"  
"In every way? Not only did I still love you when I started dating him, I was actively looking for a way to restore you while I was supposed to be giving him a shot. And then when you were back, I pretty much completely forgot about him, even though we were still together, and instead I was telling you I still loved you. I mean, I'm no expert on relationships or anything, but even I think that's messed up."

"But you loved him too."  
"Yes I did, but.." she seems to be searching for words. "But not enough. We had fun together, but it never would have lasted. He doesn't make me stronger or make me want to be a better person, he doesn't really get me. It was nice for as long as it lasted, but it never would've worked out in the long run, even if we hadn't been able to save you. If he'd leave, I would miss him, a lot, but it wouldn't leave a hole in my life."

"What made you realize it wasn't going to work?"  
"Deep down I always knew, but I pretended it could work. When you were restored I think it was obvious to everyone that I was continually choosing you over Adrian, but he never really mentioned it. Then when you told me you didn't love me anymore.."  
She swallows, and her voice is a little quieter when she continues. "I guess that's when I realized there was no way I could ever be happy with Adrian. You not wanting to be with me did leave a hole in my life, I didn't even want to be me anymore. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to face the truth, I didn't want to feel anything."

Hearing her say that causes another flash of pain to run through me. She didn't say it to hurt me, it really is just an answer to the question I asked, but it hurts none the less. I know she doesn't want to hear another apology, so instead I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her closer to me as we keep walking. In return she wraps her arm around my waist and I feel a little better at her proximity.

"Why did you go to Istanbul?"  
She moves away from me instantly. "What is this, the Siberian Inquisition?"  
"I answered your questions as well Roza. I know it might be difficult to talk about some things, but I want us to be honest with eachother. I want to be able to move forward."  
"Yeah yeah, I know. I didn't ask you nearly as many questions though."  
"If you still have questions I'd be more than willing to answer them," I say reasonably.  
"I don't right now, but that's not the point!"  
I raise my brow. "Then what is?"  
She crosses her arms and glares at me.

I give her a minute before I repeat my question. "Istanbul?"  
"Just a matter of chance really. I needed some time away from Court, so I called Abe for help, and that's where he happened to be at the time. If he had been in Russia, or Alaska, or the Cayman Islands, then that's where I would've gone. He could've been in Antarctica for all I cared."  
I chuckle at the image of Rose surrounded by penguins. "You hate the cold."  
"I survived Siberia," she shoots back.  
I pull her back into my arms. "One of these days you're going to have to admit it's not the arctic wasteland you always imagined."  
"I don't have to do anything," she answers stubbornly, but she can't hold back her smile.

I give her a quick kiss before noticing the guardian buildings in front of us and I change our direction towards my building so we can return to my room. As we make our way across the lawn in front of the building, another question pops into my head.  
"If Istanbul was merely a matter of chance, why did you take Adrian along?"  
There is a faint note of pain in my voice, and Rose picks up on it instantly, briefly leaning into me to comfort me. "Also just a matter of chance. He came by my room when I was packing, noticed I was upset and demanded to come with me. I was just too out of it to argue with him, so I let him come. He didn't find out why I was upset until I told him and Abe the next day. I have to admit, he was surprisingly understanding, considering he'd just flown several thousand miles to accompany his upset girlfriend, only to find out she was crying over another man."

Now that she mentions it, that must've been really hard for Adrian. I've been jealous of his relationship with Rose, even though I had no reason to, but I never considered what it must've been like for him. I don't envy him, having to watch the girl you love, love someone else.  
"I guess that's when you broke up?"  
"No, that wasn't until after our return and the hearing and everything. There was a bit too much going on for me to even remember I was still supposed to be dating him."

We walk up the stairs in silence. When we get to my room, I open the door and invite her in. I'm sure there's still a lot of questions that need answering, but at the moment I'm feeling drained. I let myself fall back on the sofa, grabbing Roza around the waist and pulling her with me. She reacts instantly, pushing herself even closer to me, wrapping an arm around my neck and pulling me in for a kiss. The kiss starts slowly, but quickly evolves into something more, leaving me nearly breathless with the intensity of the feelings that rush through me. When I interrupt the kiss, Rose is sitting on my lap, stradling me, and I have one hand on her hip and another in her hair.

"Will you stay?" I ask her.  
"That depends. Will you kick me out in the morning?"  
"I, unlike you, would never do something like that Roza," I say in mock disgruntlement.  
"That's only because I, unlike you, won't do anything to deserve it."  
I can't help feeling disappointed. "Does that mean you're not even going to try to get me naked?"  
A playful grin appears on her face. "Oh comrade, sometimes it's like you don't know me at all. Rose Hathaway doesn't try..." she eyes me up and down suggestively. "I succeed."

As she gets up and pulls me toward the bed, I can't help but smile in agreement. After all, I'm living proof of the fact that Roza never, ever, gives up on what she wants.

* * *

 ** _Author's note:_** ** _I'm very sorry about the slow update! These last couple of chapters are much more difficult to write, because there's so many things I wanted to adress, while still trying to make sure Rose and Dimitri act in character. That's also why I added a few jokes, because Rose never stays 100% serious and on subject all the time, and I felt like they needed to break the tension occasionally at least._**

 ** _Anyway, this was another long chapter, and I think it dealt with most of the remaining issues between them. Is there anything you guys think I missed, or would like a better explanation of?  
_** ** _Either way, I hope you enjoyed it. I pushed myself a little to finish it, because I'll be gone for the next couple of days and I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer._**

 ** _I think we have one more chapter left, though it will probably be shorter than this one, and I'll try to get it up in the second half of next week. After that it's just the epilogue, part of which has already been written, and I promise you it'll be fun :D  
_**


	29. Chapter 28

_**I am so so sorry about the (once again) late update. I'm completely ruining my awesome track-record for quick updates with these final chapters. I won't bore you all with all the reasons for the delay, and I can only hope you love this chapter enough to make up for it.**_

 _ **MelissaDB'slover and April Heidkamp brought up some things they would still like to be adressed, and I totally agreed with their suggestions, so thank you! I hope you're pleased with the way I worked them into this chapter.**_

 **Chapter 28**

 **DPOV**

"Oi Guardian Genius, wake up! We thought we could..." The room is silent for a moment, Rose and I, as well as the intruders, frozen in shock. Then a man shouts: "Ewwww! My eyes! My eyes! They're burning!"  
I actually blush in mortification at being discovered in a position like this, but as I quickly look at Roza, I only see annoyance on her face. She quickly rolls off me, simultaneously pulling up the sheets to cover both of us and then sits up to glower at whoever entered my room. "That's what you get for barging in without an invitation Sparky. Anyway, you're the expert on burning here, but as far as I can tell there's no flames or smoke coming out of your eyes, so stop screaming like a girl."

Adrian is right behind Christian and smiling widely. "His eyes might not be burning, but your auras... Wow! I've seen infernos less bright."  
Christian is still covering his eyes with his hands, but snaps at Adrian. "Like you've ever seen an inferno. Anyway, not helping! I did NOT need to see this! I'll be having nightmares for months! I've lost my innocence... It's gone! Damaged beyond repair!"  
"Jeez, you're such a dramaqueen. How about you shut up and consider this payback for all the times I was sleeping and got pulled into Lissa's head? Trust me, seeing you naked is my personal definition of a nightmare. I'll be needing therapy for years!"  
Christian grimaces but at least lowers his voice. "Get dressed will you? We've brought breakfast and I've already seen much more of you than I ever wanted."  
"What, am I too hot for you to handle fireboy?" He only groans in answer before trying to find his way to the kitchen with his eyes closed.

"Stop drooling Adrian." I hadn't realized Adrian was still here, but he's leaning against the wall opposite the bed, looking very entertained.  
An arrogant expression appears on his face, making him look exactly like most of the royals I've met. "I don't drool little dhampir, that's for lesser men." He relaxes again, grinning as he adds: "I have to say though, it's lovely seeing you like this. Much better than my imagination."  
Rose crosses her arms. "I can't believe you didn't do me credit in your fantasies, I expected better from you."  
"You're simply even more amazing than I thought possible. You should really take it as a compliment."  
She rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Get out. Go see if Christian survived his trip to the kitchen and isn't currently burning my breakfast in revenge."  
Adrian salutes me, winks at Rose and then walks out of the room.

Rose lets herself fall back against the bed next to me and pulls a pillow over her head. "Those idiots have the worst timing ever!"  
I don't answer, still frozen in shock and embarrassment. On top of that, I can't decide whether to be upset about Adrian's comments and him imagining Rose naked, or to be relieved that he apparently never got far enough to see her naked for real. In the end, relief wins out. I've been wondering how far things went between them, but I felt uncomfortable broaching the subject with Rose. I just assumed the worst and told myself it was only to be expected, seeing as they were together for months.  
Considering their words just now, it would seem their relationship never progressed that far though, and I'm secretly thrilled about the fact that while she loved Adrian, she never gave herself to him the way she did to me.

* * *

It's not long after we're dressed and sitting down that there's another knock at the door, and at my invitation, Vasilisa walks in and joins us, carrying a box of donuts. Rose takes it out of her hands without a word and digs in, devouring two at the same time, causing us all to shake our heads at her.  
Eventually, Christian looks at me. "Sooo.. we just returned from Lehigh this morning and I just came over to see how you were doing. I did not expect to be walking in on uh.. your activities, but I guess this means you're recovered?"  
I'm thankful my guardian mask hides my embarrassment, though I don't think Rose is fooled as she winks at me. "Yes I'm good. The doctor should clear me for duty next week probably."

While I'm talking, for the first time since Christian entered I really look at him. I take in his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes. "How are you holding up?"  
"Fine, fine. Just.." He runs his hand through his hair, apparently not for the first time today considering how messy it is, and refuses to meet my eye. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."  
I look at him in surprise, as do Roza and Adrian. The only person who doesn't seem taken aback by what he's saying is Vasilisa, though from the look she's giving him I assume she doesn't agree with his words. "What for exactly?"  
"Aunt Tasha shooting you," he turns to Rose, "and framing you," and then to Adrian, "and murdering your aunt." He looks down, suddenly very interested in studying his empty cup. "I had no idea she was capable of any of that shit. I guess my family is even more messed up than everybody already thought." He sighs defeatedly. "I bet everyone at Court is just waiting for me to lose it next."

Vasilisa grasps his hand and tries to reassure him in a soft voice, but Christian just shakes his head. I'm still searching for words to tell him I don't hold him accountable at all, when Rose surprises all of us, but especially Christian, by jumping up and giving him a bone-crushing hug. "Tasha did those things, not you. None of us think it's your fault. And I won't allow you to lose it charmander. Who else is going to serve me my breakfast of pancakes and insults every morning?"  
While she's hugging him, I catch her glancing at Vasilisa and giving a nearly imperceptible nod of her head in answer to some unspoken question. I don't think anyone else witnessed their silent exchange so I decide not to mention it either.

Christian gasps: "Can't... Breathe..." Rose immediately releases him and he starts rubbing his ribs while he snorts. "Really Rosie, Pokémon? That's the best you can think of to cheer me up?" It's easy to see he's touched but unwilling to admit it, and Rose happily goes along with his banter.  
"Hey, it's one of Paul's favorite shows, he made me watch it all the time when I was in Baia," she says defensively. "Anyway you don't get to complain. I'm sure I could've thought of something better if someone didn't interrupt my morning exercise. A good workout is an important part of the day you know."

While everyone is focussed on Rose, Christian once again runs his hand through his hair and then very quickly wipes his eyes when he thinks nobody is watching. By the time the attention of the room shifts back to him, he's back in control of himself.  
"I have every right to complain!" He pulls himself up to his full height. "Obviously I'd be charizard. Mr. Charizard to you," he sniffs in disdain.  
Rose punches the air. "Ha, I knew it! I knew those DVDs I found were yours!"  
"Oi, you just admitted to watching it as well!"  
"With a ten-year-old kid! What's your excuse?"

Their bickering is interrupted by Vasilisa while Adrian and I laugh at their antics. "Rose, eat your donuts. Chris, go get another cup of coffee or something."  
"You're not supposed to encourage kids to drink caffeine Liss," Rose says as Christian makes his way to the kitchen. He turns around to answer, but a look from Vasilisa makes him turn back and stomp out of the room.  
I wonder if Rose will be receiving a look of her own, but to my surprise, Vasilisa smiles at her and whispers very quietly: "Thanks for distracting him. He's been completely hung up on his guilt all week."  
I guess that answers the question of what Vasilisa was saying to Rose through the bond earlier. Rose smiles at her before saying: "Anytime. You know I love to insult him even without an excuse," which earns her an eyeroll in answer.

Christian returns with his coffee and sits back down, looking a little more cheerful than he did before, but still somewhat uneasy, so I tell him: "Rose is right you know, it's not your fault."  
Adrian immediately chimes in: "Yeah, honestly Christian, we don't blame you for what your aunt did. Imagine people would start blaming me for everything my dad said." He shivers in horror. "He's the biggest jerk in at least a hundred-mile radius, everyone I know hates him. Luckily, everyone still loves me."  
Vasilisa adds: "I told you, nobody blames you. None of us could've seen this coming."

As I look around at the others, I find Roza regarding me thoughtfully. "I don't think that's entirely true, is it comrade? You didn't seem at all surprised when Tasha was arrested, and didn't you say you had a couple of days to get used to the idea?"  
Damn it, I should've known she wouldn't forget about that slip of the tongue. The others look at me in interest as well, and I know they won't allow me to change the subject, so I resign myself to having to tell them about my own investigation.

"Yes I knew Tasha was, at the very least, involved. I didn't get confirmation until a few hours before her arrest though, and then everything moved very quickly to make sure she would be caught."  
Christian asks: "You knew aunt Tasha would be arrested when you met her that day?"  
I nod. "Yes, I did. I actually set up our meeting for that very purpose."  
"And I don't suppose you could've just had her arrested in private? You thought it was necessary to do it out in the open and humiliate my family even further?"  
He is obviously upset by my part in this and I hold up my hands to appease him. "I'm sorry Christian, but no, we couldn't. We still needed Tasha to confess, and she was never going to do it in an interrogation room. If there had been any other way I would never have agreed to help Hans, I swear."

Christian glares at me, but doesn't seem to have anything else to say. Rose glances at her phone and then gets up, walking to the door. I don't understand what she's doing, I didn't hear a knock or anything, but she opens the door anyway to reveal Eddie standing there. He greets all of us when he walks in, before leaning against the wall as Rose slips back into her seat. Guardian rooms are fairly small, and it's starting to feel crowded with the amount of people who showed up. I understand they all want to know what's going on though. I suppose I should just count myself lucky that Abe and Janine haven't shown up.

Eddie speaks up. "Not that I don't appreciate you inviting me to this little meeting Rose, but why exactly am I here?"  
"I figured you'd want to know the whole Tasha story. I'm glad you made it here this quickly though, I didn't expect the subject to come up as soon as it did. Dimitri was just about to tell us everything."  
I raise an eyebrow at her. "I was?"  
"Yes you were. You know it's easier to just tell us the whole story comrade. We both know I'm not going to drop it, and I doubt Christian will either."  
He nods in agreement, and for a moment I'm struck by the similarity in their personalities. I keep that observation to myself though. I'm sure that if I'd say it out loud, they'd see it as an insult and would happily team up to take me down, which would only prove my point.

I take a sip of my own coffee and lean back. "Honestly, I was as shocked as all of you. You know Tasha and I had been friends for years, I never expected her to do anything like this. I never would've figured it out if it wasn't for Adrian."  
Adrian looks confused. "Me? What did I do?"  
"When you interrupted my dreams for a chat last week, you made some observations regarding Tasha that got me thinking."  
"What do you..." His face goes perfectly blank for a moment, before I see comprehension dawn on him. "No way! That's how you figured it out? You know it was just a joke right?"  
I nod. "I know, but something about it made me uncomfortable, and while I was trying to figure out why, I realized you could very well be right."

"Care to explain to the rest of us?" Rose crosses her arms, annoyed at being out of the loop.  
Adrian answers absentmindedly. "I told Dimitri about Tasha's aura when she discovered him outside your room. It was literally green with envy, except for some red when she looked directly at him. I made a joke that it didn't really matter how she felt, because it wasn't like she could get you out of the way permanently."  
I nod again. "After I woke up, I realized that was actually exactly what someone tried to do, and it got me wondering whether it could be Tasha."  
"So I wasn't just a convenient target to pin the murder on? She really did all of that because she was jealous? Because she was in love with you?"

While she must have suspected it was at least part of Tasha's reasoning, Rose is still stunned and I don't blame her. During her arrest, Tasha mostly just made it sound like Rose was an easy scapegoat, the most believable person to blame for murder. Some of the things Tasha said pointed to something more personal, but we never got her to say it straight out. With me being shot moments later, I doubt Rose has really had a chance to deal with all of it and think it through.  
I'm not sure how I would feel if someone was willing to have me executed on the off-chance that Roza would date them after, but I'm sure confusion and shock are just two of many emotions running through her at the moment.  
"Yes and no. As you heard at her arrest, she had multiple reasons for her actions, but it was part of her motivation for framing you, if not her primary reason."

Rose is speechless as she tries to digest the fact that someone she considered somewhat of a friend, was willing to go to these extremes because of me. Vasilisa is covering her mouth with her hand, caught by surprise as well and obviously shocked. Christian just shakes his head. He doesn't seem surprised, but then, he knew his aunt well and probably figured out her motives soon after her confession. "I am so sorry Rosie."  
"Not your fault Sparky." She takes a deep breath to regain control of herself before adding in true Rose-style: "Call me Rosie again and you will be sorry though, I'll make sure of it."  
"Yeah? And how are you going to do that huh? I'm not afraid of you."  
Before she can answer Eddie says: "Shut up you two, I want to hear the rest of the story."

The twin looks of indignation appearing on their faces almost make me laugh, but I push it back and continue my story, telling everyone how I went to Abe for help, my short time as a palace guard and our suspicions towards Ethan Moore. While the Moroi are upset at Moore's breaches of protocol, allowing Tasha access to the palace without reporting it, Eddie and Rose are outraged. As guardians, they understand the importance of the rules in place for Moroi protection, and the risks involved if a single person decides not to follow them. Their reaction once again makes me proud of the excellent guardians they have become in the past year.

After I explain how Hans got involved, and what my reasoning was for staging the arrest the way we did, I look at Christian again. "I truly am sorry we couldn't just take Tasha in quietly Christian, but this seemed the only way."  
He shakes his head sadly. "I know, and to be honest, you're probably right. It's just.." He shrugs helplessly, unable to find the right words.  
"A seriously fucked up situation." Rose finishes his sentence and he nods in agreement.

The whole room is silent for a while, everyone considering my story and contemplating what will happen next. I wonder what will happen to Tasha, whether she'll be able to make a deal that puts her in Tarasov for life, in exchange for a full confession. It wouldn't surprise me if Iris Kane prefers to just go through with a trial though and Tasha will end up being executed for her crimes.

My thoughts are interrupted by a choking sound from Adrian, and it appears he's biting back laughter.  
"What?" Rose asks him.  
"I was just thinking.. I can't believe Belikov told Abe and your mother about you kicking him out, naked. Can you imagine that conversation?"  
Eddie chuckles and Christian can't contain his laughter either. "Crap, I didn't even think about that. I'm surprised you're still alive Genius."  
"Honestly.. So am I. It's not an experience I'd like to repeat. Ever."  
Rose grins. "For the record, he wasn't naked.. That time."  
"Ewwww Rosie! I had only just gotten those images out of my head, and now you've ruined it!"

Rose glares at him and says in a dangerously low voice: "I warned you, do NOT call me Rosie charmander."  
"Or what, you'll beat me up?"  
She grins at him. "Nah, I'll just make sure that every time you and Lissa are having a good time, someone comes by and barges into your room unannounced. And trust me, I'll know," she says, tapping her head.  
Vasilisa gasps in horror as Christian growls: "You wouldn't."  
"Oh but I would Sparky. How long do you think it would take before Lissa refuses to have fun with you?" Rose wiggles her eyebrows in answer to Christian's glare.  
"Rose!"  
"Sorry Liss, but I can't just let him go unpunished." She shrugs."If you don't want to be interrupted, I suggest you train fireboy here to keep his mouth shut."

Christian looks like he wants to hit Rose, but to general astonishment Vasilisa jumps up and throws her arms around her instead.  
Rose hesitantly returns the hug. "Uhm, Liss? That's not quite the reaction I was expecting to be honest."  
"I've missed you Rose. Please don't ever act so... empty again."  
"I won't, I promise. Missed you too."

Rose catches my eye and smiles at me, and when Lissa pulls back from the hug she notices our locked gazes. "So, you two are, you know, together?"  
I wait for Rose to answer, wanting to hear her say the words. She doesn't disappoint. "Yeah, we're definitely together."  
Adrian chuckles. "Indeed."  
Christian adds grumpily. "Yeah, be sure to knock if you ever want to enter one of their rooms. Trust us on that one."

I flush in embarrassment, still unhappy about the position they found us in and the fact that they're openly discussing my sex-life. Rose seems completely unconcerned though, walking over to me, sitting down on my lap and giving me a kiss.  
"Roza.." I mumble against her lips, very aware of our audience but at the same time wanting her to continue.  
She pulls back and shrugs. "They might as well get used to it. We've already lost so much time, I don't plan on hiding the fact that I love you. Besides, it's not like they don't already know."

It only takes me a second to decide that she's right. We will never be able to change the past, but from now on we can make the best of every moment we get to be together, and I don't want to spend any of that time hiding my feelings for her. This time I'm the one to kiss her, and I don't stop until Christian starts making gagging sounds in the background.

"So what's going to happen now?" Vasilisa asks.  
Nobody answers at first, and then Eddie says: "I'm not sure. But while you guys talk about that, I gotta go. I'm supposed to meet Mia for lunch and I don't want to be late."  
Christian claps him on the shoulder and Rose says: "Nice one Castile, good luck!"  
"Thanks. And Rose?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm glad you're back."

Soon after Eddie leaves, the rest of the party disperses as well. In the end, nobody answered Vasilisa's question, probably because none of us know the answer. There are still many difficulties to be faced. Tasha's possible trial, our jobs as guardians, Rose's relationship with her parents, learning more about spirit and the darkness that comes with it for Adrian and Vasilisa, the way Christian will be regarded around Court, Eddie's damaged career.

I look at Rose, who's still sitting on my lap, and find her looking back at me, love shining in her eyes. She's smiling at me and I can't help but smile back. Regardless of everything that's still to come, I can't help but be happy to be here, with my Roza. The answer to Vasilisa's question is suddenly clear in my mind. It doesn't matter what's going to happen next. Right now, I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, and whatever the future brings us, I will face it with Roza by my side.

Until then... Well, we never did get to finish our morning workout.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: Aaaaand that's it! Or well, next post will be the epilogue, and then this story is finished!**_

 _ **I hope you all enjoyed this final chapter. After all the sadness and serious talks, I wanted the ending to be a little more lighthearted.  
**_ _ **I might have overdone it a bit on the bickering between Christian and Rose, but honestly, they just wouldn't give eachother a break! Put those two in a room together and the snarky comments just keep coming. Ah well, I guess it's definitive prove of the fact that Rose is finally back to her old self.**_


	30. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 **DPOV**

 _2 years later_

I look around the crowded room, taking in all of the familiar faces. The last couple of years haven't been easy, but still, I'm happier today than I could have ever imagined in the days after my restoration. If I'm being entirely honest with myself, I'm actually happier than I ever would have thought possible. I had a happy childhood with a loving family, with the glaring exception of my father, and I was perfectly content with my life as Ivan's guardian and friend and later on my assignment as guardian to the Dragomir princess. Still, my life wasn't about me and my happiness, but about the job I had been born to do. My choices, my body, my life, they all belonged to the Moroi. They come first.

Until I met this wild, headstrong, beautiful, slightly insane but completely amazing woman who turned my world upside down.

She's currently standing on the other side of the room, once again trying to achieve the impossible. I'll have to ask her later why on earth she thinks it's a good idea to play matchmaker between a royal Moroi and a self-conscious Alchemist. I consider walking over to them to save Sydney Sage from the uncomfortable situation. We've only met a couple of times, but as Roza predicted, I like her and we get along quite well. Before I can take a step in their direction, Adrian says something that actually makes Sydney laugh though, and they continue talking while Rose slips away from them, a very satisfied look on her face.

Of course, the look disappears as soon as she catches sight of her parents standing close together, Abe's arm casually wrapped around Janine's shoulders. She rolls her eyes and changes direction and I can't help but smile. Her relationship with her parents has improved a lot, but seeing them together like this never fails to make her feel awkward.

I totally feel the same way, though for very different reasons. They might have accepted the fact that Roza and I are together, but that doesn't mean they didn't threaten me with all kinds of horrible things if I ever hurt her again. I always thought Zmey would be the more dangerous of the two, but ever since I stood up to him about not giving up on Roza, and we worked together to catch Tasha, we actually get along fairly way. He did still threaten me, but his heart didn't really seem to be in it. The worst he did was send me a map of the surrounding area with a couple of red dots on it. I once checked out one of these locations when I was on a scouting mission in the area, and it turned out to be an out of the way forest, with no obvious paths nor any houses or lights in a 5-mile radius. I guess it would still be unwise to piss him off.

The real danger however is the unflappable red-headed guardian who didn't show any emotion as she described the life-changing injuries I would receive if her daughter ever shed another tear over me. Her calm, factual description actually made me thank God that as far as I'm concerned, the only way Roza will ever cry because of me again is if something happens to me. Besides, if I'm wrong and I do hurt Roza, I'm sure she'll probably kill me herself before her parents ever found out what happened. A shiver runs down my spine at the thought of what those three could achieve if they ever team up.

I suppose Tasha was lucky in a way. Being caught saved her from being punished by Abe and Janine, and while the result would probably have been the same in the end, I'm sure the way it would've been achieved would've been a lot more painful. As I expected, she was put on trial for killing Queen Tatiana. She did try to make a deal, but with the amount of people who witnessed her arrest and confession, the public wanted to see her punished for what she did. She was found guilty and executed within a month of her arrest.

The day before her execution she asked to see me and Roza, but I refused. Rose tried to convince me to go, but as far as I was concerned, there was just nothing left to say. I would treasure the memories I had of my friend, but I had accepted she'd been gone for a long time. The woman in that jail cell was a stranger to me, and I did not want to waste any time on someone who tried to take Roza away from me. Her death has brought me closure.  
Rose did visit her that day, but I never asked about their conversation and she never brought it up, knowing my opinion on the subject. I think her decision to visit was mostly because she thought Christian would appreciate it, although she'd never admit to it if asked.

Christian had a difficult time those first few months, dealing with the trial and execution and the way people treated him. As expected, royals all around Court once again whispered about the Ozera's, how unstable and dangerous they were and whether it was safe to let a boy raised by such people near the last Dragomir. Vasilisa didn't care though and with her support and Rose's distractions, or whatever she called the insults she leveled at him day after day, he finally returned to his normal, snarky self. Eventually the rumors died down, and when he started talking about setting up a defensive program for Moroi a couple of months ago, he actually received quite a bit of support.

Since I was assigned as Christian's guardian, I've been helping him set the whole thing up. The program is based on both defensive and offensive magic, and for those who are interested, I teach basic defensive combat classes. It's a lot like teaching the younger novices, although I have to admit it's somewhat easier to explain a basic tackle to a group of adult Moroi than to a class of 8-year-old dhampirs. The latter tend to learn faster though.

Shortly after Tasha's conviction, Rose was reinstated as one of Vasilisa's guardians and was enrolled at Lehigh to be able to guard her. This only lasted for a couple of months, since Vasilisa decided to take a break from University to be able to focus on politics and her family's seat on the council. She spends a lot of time with the Queen and is quickly becoming one of her most trusted advisors, due to her willingness to consider all options and her ability to come up with original solutions to age-old problems. The Queen and many of the Moroi consider her a breath of fresh air, and there's already talk that one day, when Queen Ariana retires, Vasilisa will be the next monarch.  
Meanwhile Rose is still trying to figure out which is more boring, a lecture on business and government or a meeting with spoiled royals unwilling to accept change.

After things settled down at Court, Adrian decided to leave and travel for a while. He said he just wanted to get away from it all and party, but I didn't quite believe him. We never did figure out what he was upto, until Roza and I went to visit my family and ran into Adrian at Oksana's house. It turned out he had been looking for other spirit users, hoping they could teach him more about his element. He didn't return to Court until recently, and while he still seems to be the same fun, flippant, slightly arrogant guy, I have noticed he seems a lot more balanced than he used to be, and he doesn't drink nearly as much as he did two years ago. He even quit smoking. His new guardian definitely approves of these changes. Apart from the occasional party, Eddie did always seem to prefer a more healthy lifestyle.

Other than running into Adrian, our trip to Baia was fairly uneventful. My mother and sister were thrilled to see us and I loved being there, seeing Roza interact with my family and being able to show her the sights of my hometown. But no matter how good it felt to be back, I quickly realized it wasn't truly my home anymore. To me, home is the apartment Roza and I share at Court. We had a wonderful time though, Rose got to catch up with a lot of the people she met on her last trip, and we even managed to meet up with Denis, Lev, Artur and Tamara.

The only discord during the otherwise peaceful week we spent in Russia was caused by babushka. She kept hinting at a wedding in our future, causing Rose to declare that there was no way she would get married before her age started with a two. I brought it up several times afterwards, but Rose isn't the type to change her mind. Then again, while I was trying to correct my mistakes and make things right with Roza two years ago, I decided never to give up on her again and thus I kept trying. In the end, I got down on one knee a day after her twentieth birthday, causing her to roll her eyes at me before giving me a bright smile and a resounding "Yes!"

* * *

"Would you like to say something? You know, thank everyone for being here?" I ask Rose, who has finally made her way around the room and is now standing next to me, her arm around my waist. Everyone around us is talking and dancing and overall just having a good time.  
Roza shakes her head. "You know thanking people isn't really my style comrade. Besides, considering the excellent party Lissa organized, they should be the ones to thank us for being invited."  
"And I'm sure they will. Still, one of us should probably say something."  
She shrugs. "Be my guest."  
Knowing that she isn't going to budge, I resign myself to the inevitable. "I doubt I'll be able to get everyone's attention to be honest."

Rose doesn't answer but puts two fingers in her mouth and whistles loudly, making the room go quiet as everybody turns to us. "Not quite what I had in mind Roza, but thank you."  
"Hey, you wanted them to shut up and pay attention, I'd say I succeeded." She winks at me. "As you know, Rose Hathaway always succeeds."  
I grin at her. "Apparently so does Roza Belikova."  
Her answering smile is dazzling. "So it would seem comrade."

I look up and find everybody watching us, smiles on their faces, while Adrian, Eddie, Christian and Nikolai, who's been dating Viktoria since my restoration party, start chanting: "Speech! Speech! Speech!"

I pull Roza closer to me before speaking up. "I'll try and keep it short. We would like to thank all of you for being here today and celebrating with us. We wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for all of you. I still can't believe we're finally married."  
Adrian chuckles. "Neither can we. Took you long enough to convince her. What was it, 12th time lucky?"  
Everybody laughs, but as he turns to smirk at Rose, his grin fades instantly, and I look beside me to see my wife glaring at him. If looks could kill, Lord Ivashkov would be leaving this room in a wooden box.

I ignore him and continue with my speech. "I would also like to thank all of you for kicking my ass, literally on some occasions, and knocking some sense into me when I needed it."  
This time Christian snorts. "Maybe we should do it again, cause I'm pretty sure we actually failed on that last part. You do realize you married Rosie right Guardian Genius? Your common sense is obviously still lacking."  
I pause, giving Rose the chance to respond to him. She doesn't disappoint, smiling sweetly as she says: "Call me that again and we will find out what that waffle iron you and Liss got us as a wedding gift will do to your face and other.. possibly essential body parts Sparky."  
He pales slightly while Abe can be overheard saying: "Ah that's my little girl. She gets her imagination from me you know."

Adrian laughs. "Relax little dhampir. And it was my pleasure Belikov. Really, anytime you want your ass kicked, no matter the reason, give me a call. I'd be more than happy to help."  
"Thanks Adrian, that's uh.. good to know I suppose," I answer, making Rose laugh as well.  
Mia rolls her eyes. "Just ignore them Dimitri. They might think they're totally funny, but it's not like either of them has managed to convince a girl to marry them. And if they keep up this kind of behavior, I seriously doubt they ever will."  
The whole room, except for Christian and Adrian, bursts into laughter.

Eddie grabs Mia's hand and says. "I didn't say anything, does that mean I'm still in with a chance?"  
She considers him before answering. "Possibly. You'll definitely beat Adrian to the altar as no girl in her right mind would ever marry him, but I'm not too sure about Christian. It all depends on whether Rose and I will be able to knock some sense into Lissa."  
"To marry him?"  
Rose grins as she answers: "Nah, to refuse to marry him until he's actually as funny as he thinks he is," earning her another round of laughter and a disgruntled "Oi!" from Christian.

When the laughter finally dies down and the room goes quiet again, I look at the woman beside me. "Roza, my beautiful wife. I think I was lost the moment I saw you through that window in Portland, though it admittedly took me a while to give into it." She smiles, probably remembering all the times she tried to get me to admit my feelings for her. I continue: "You have made me happier than I ever thought I could be and I can't imagine a life without you. I love you more than anything, and I will spend every day of our lives together making you as happy as you have made me. Thank you, for loving me, saving me, believing in me and never truly giving up on us." Roza looks a little tearful, so I decide to finish on a lighter note. "And especially, thank you for finally accepting my proposal six months ago."

Everyone chuckles and applauds as I take Roza in my arms and kiss her. She doesn't say anything after I pull away, but as I look at her, I can tell how touched she is by my words. The party continues and the people around us return to their conversations. I keep Roza close to me and we start to dance. After a few minutes, she quietly says: "Thank you."  
Her words could refer to any part of my speech, but I know what she's talking about. Because she didn't want my gratitude, I never truly thanked her for everything she did. Now that she no longer has any reason to doubt my love for her, I finally got to tell her how much I appreciated her actions.

After a mostly quiet dance, Roza returns to her usual happy self and as we dance to the next song, we talk about the ceremony, the party and all our friends and family who showed up. She even half-heartedly complains about the beautiful but slightly uncomfortable dress Vasilisa made her wear, and I make a mental note to thank the Princess later. Roza really does look spectacular.

Eventually, I ask a question that has been on my mind for a long time. "I'm curious, when did you decide to give me another chance?"  
While Roza considers her answer, we keep dancing and I revel in the way her body feels against mine. Eventually she says: "I'm not sure really, I think I probably would've given you another chance no matter what, eventually. But it probably came down to two specific moments. Want to guess which ones?"

I think about it. "Me being shot, and before that maybe... the night you asked me to stay? After we met in the courtyard and my hands were injured?"  
"When you were jealous you mean? No, though now that you mention it, I suppose that should really make my list of favourite moments. Perhaps I should flirt with other guys more often."  
I nearly growl. "No you shouldn't. That ring on your finger says you're mine milaya, and don't you forget it."  
She grins. "Oh I know, but there's something incredibly hot about you being all possessive. I don't suppose we can leave soon?" I can hear the unspoken promise of a night of very little sleep in her voice.  
"We should stay a little longer, I'm sure everyone is leaving soon and we might not see some of them for a long time," I say, though my disappointment is obvious to both of us.  
"You're right. Ah well, we can always have fun later." Her answer lifts my spirits instantly.

To distract myself from thinking about the night ahead of us, I return to the subject we were discussing. "So, are you going to tell me about those two moments you mentioned?"  
"Ah yes, well... The first was you showing up with donuts at St. Vlad's in the guardian lounge that one morning. The second was a couple of days later, when you organized that whole scheme of testing the guardians, just so I could fight Stan." I laugh out loud as she adds. "You do know how to romance a girl comrade, there was no way I could resist you after all that."  
I shake my head at her, still smiling. "I'm sure you appreciated those things immensely, but you can't tell me that's really what changed your mind about me."

"Truth be told, I didn't really need to change my mind. I never stopped loving you, I was just scared and I didn't want to get hurt again. But if you really want to pin it down to a single moment, I suppose it would be that day in Stan's classroom. You following me to the academy, and opening up about your feelings in front of so many people.. It made it clear to me that you really were willing to do whatever it would take, and it definitely broke through some of the walls I had built around myself."  
I remember that day, the pain I felt as I thought I had lost her forever, deciding to pour my heart out in front of the students in case I never got another chance to tell her what I wanted to, my anger at Stan. "I should've told you all of those things much earlier."  
"I probably wouldn't have listened."

I try and lighten the mood a little. "You know, that was the day I decided I disliked Alto as much as you did. If he wouldn't have forced me to answer questions, and wouldn't have said those things he did about you afterwards, I never would've come up with the plan to kick his ass."  
She giggles. "Maybe we should have invited him today, I'm sure he would love to hear how he basically brought us back together."  
I chuckle. "Probably, but then we would've had to put up with him, so I'm glad we didn't."

Vasilisa appears next to us, asking Rose to join her for a moment. She nods and I release her, but before she walks away she stands on tiptoes and murmurs in my ear. "I love you Dimitri, never forget."  
I kiss her temple and answer: "As I love you Roza, forever."

* * *

The party is finally coming to an end, and Roza and I stand next to eachother, saying goodbye to our friends and family. My family, Mark and Oksana and Roza's hunting group were the first to leave, having to return home tomorrow. I will miss them, but I'm sure we will see them again soon. Nikolai spoke to me a couple of days ago, asking for my blessing to ask Viktoria to marry him. A little old-fashioned, but I appreciated the gesture. Vika will probably punch him when she finds out and insist she doesn't need anyone's opinion, but I'm sure she'll accept him eventually. When she does, Roza and I plan to be there for the wedding.

Abe and Janine leave soon after, as do most of the guardians that were here. Alberta and Emil will be returning to the academy, and the others are back on duty first thing tomorrow. Hans follows them out, congratulating us again and telling us to enjoy our week off.  
Roza's friends are the last to leave. Honestly, I should call them our friends by now, not just Roza's. They gladly welcomed me into the group after Roza and I made up, and I was well on my way to being friends with most of them even before then.

Sydney congratulates us again and leaves after wishing us the best for the future and a hesistant hug for both of us. To my surprise, Adrian follows her out, though not before making some very inappropriate remarks about our wedding night, causing me to raise my eyebrow and Rose to roll her eyes.

Christian hugs Rose and claps me on the shoulder. "Good luck spending forever with that one."  
I smile at him. "I'll enjoy every single day."  
He shakes his head in mock sadness. "You're hopeless."  
Vasilisa elbows him in the ribs before hugging me. "Thank you for making her happy Dimitri. We'll see you both soon."  
"Of course. And thank you so much for the party and for forcing Roza into that dress, it's beautiful."  
She smiles brightly. "You're very welcome, I knew you'd love it."

More hugs from Mia who tells me to enjoy our honeymoon. I thank her, but I don't tell her where we're going. Rose has been more than a little frustrated with my refusal to tell her about the trip I planned, and she got everyone involved on trying to get it out of me. I wouldn't budge though, and our destination is still a secret to everyone but me. Roza will find out tomorrow, and I do hope she will enjoy the cabin I found us, hidden in the Montana mountains. I even checked whether it has cable and internet before confirming our booking, though I very much hope we'll find other ways to keep us busy.

When Mia turns away, Eddie is kissing Roza's cheek and I overhear him telling her: "Congrats Rosie. I wish Mason could've been here to see you, I'm sure he would've been very happy to see you happy."  
She blinks away her tears. "Either that or he would've used the opportunity to try and beat me, thinking I would be unable to fight in a dress."  
Eddie laughs. "Yeah well, that too. I'm sure you would've made him regret it."  
"Totally!"  
He shakes my hand next, but then surprises me by giving me a man hug. "Take care of her Dimitri."  
"I will, I promise."

He walks to the door where he joins Mia, Lissa, Christian and Adrian, who has returned with a huge smile on his face and a a business card in his hand that I'm sure has Sydney's number on it. I take Roza's hand and smile at all of our friends. "Thank you guys, for everything."  
They all smile and nod, but Eddie is the one to answer. "Anytime. That's what friends are for you know."

* * *

 _ **Final author's note:**_

 _ **Thank you all so very very very much! For the reviews, the follows and favorites, the constructive criticism as well as the suggestions you made. I'm sure I wouldn't have finished this story if it wasn't for all of you. I hope you'll let me know what you think of the ending.**_

 _ **Many of you regularly left a review and you never failed to make me smile, to the point where my boyfriend kept asking me what the hell I was reading everytime I posted a chapter and the reviews kept pouring in. There are two of you who completely blew me away with your support though, so a huge thank you to Katnipsc and Dream Walker's Obsession, who reviewed nearly every chapter. You're the best!**_

 _ **Anyway, this is really it. My very first full-length story is finished! I think I managed to tie up all loose ends, but if I haven't, I hope you'll forgive me for it. I have never written a story before, and I might have unterestimated it a little bit. When I started this story I had a fairly good idea of where I wanted it to go, but going from snippets of conversations to full chapters and staying true to the characters was a lot more challenging than I expected. English not being my primary language might have made it a little more difficult as well. Still, I hope you all liked my versions of Dimitri and Rose as well as their friends.**_ _ **  
**_

 _ **I probably won't be writing any other full-length stories anytime soon, but I do have plans for one or two more one-shots, and if you haven't read my one-shot One hell of a mess yet, I hope you will and will leave me a review to let me know what you think.**_

 ** _Disclaimer: Vampire Academy, Rose, Dimitri, Lissa, Christian, Adrian, Sydney, Eddie, Mia, Abe, Janine, all the Belikov's and any other characters that seemed remotely familiar to you, are owned by the wonderful Richelle Mead. I have a huge amount of respect for the stories she wrote and the world she created._**


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